Not a Hero
by theicemenace
Summary: Not a Hero is now complete.
1. Waste Not Fresh Tears

**A/N:** I once again find myself in the position of thanking ladygris for her help with a story. She is an endless source of ideas, providing a word or a comment that sparks an idea within my much older brain that eventually becomes a full-fledged tale. And on the odd occasion, she provided the voice of a friend willing to laugh at the absurdities we encounter on a daily basis.

Again, this is not my usual type of story, and it was written with the encouragement of the aforementioned ladygris.

Gracias,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 1**

**Waste Not Fresh Tears**

John Sheppard lay on the hard dry desert ground bleeding profusely from several gunshot wounds, not the least of which was the one in his chest near his heart_. _

_Heart, ha! I don't __have__ a heart. Just a muscle that moves blood throughout my body and that's about to stop. McKay was right. __It __is__ amazing how one incident can entirely alter the course of your life._

His strength came to an end in the intense heat from the still burning trailer parts scattered all over the area. As his consciousness wavered, the reality of his life invaded his thoughts. Unable to turn away, he relived each and every bad choice, disappointment and regret, personal and professional, since the day he was born. As the last of his strength dissolved, he thought he heard the distant rumble of vehicles coming closer but dismissed it as his imagination.

_Gettin' dark. Oh, crap. That's probably thunder. Sonofabitch picked a great time to rain. I should get up and get my umbrella outta the trunk…if I had an umbrella 'n my trunk wasn't so far away. Maybe I should just…take a li'l nap or somethin'._

Blackness crept in from the edges of his vision like a Gulf Coast oil slick until there was nothing. Nada. Zilch. Just a pinpoint of light in the center then it was gone as well.

~~O~~

Engines shut down and a back hatch opened to allow Jennifer Keller and her assistants to go to Sheppard. "He's alive…barely." Ana brought a stretcher while Jennifer and Derek slipped a cervical collar around the detective's neck. They rolled him onto a backboard and he was lifted carefully onto the stretcher by the team of one man and two women. Moments later, other vehicles arrived, SUVs with blacked out windows as well as armored and radiation-protected trucks.

Jennifer turned to inform Rodney of Sheppard's condition and found him in the car going through what looked like junk from the glove compartment but at one time had undoubtedly been very important to the vehicle's owner. When done, he ejected the CD from the player, glanced at the title, scoffed and handed it to Jennifer then opened the black valise. He wasn't surprised to find it full of money.

"Whatcha got there, Rodney?"

"There must be much more than the few thousand he told us about. Looks like the nightly take from the Bellagio." From his pocket he took a small device, a portable scanner the likes of which most of the residents of Earth had no idea existed. He waved it over the contents and the outside of the bag, the beeps telling him it was laden with radioactivity. "Definitely the property of the Wraith."

"What's Sheppard doing with it?" She scooped the CD case off the seat, snapped the silver disc in place and closed it hoping Rodney wouldn't ask why she was taking it. In the back seat was a rolled tube held with a rubber band. It and the CD obviously held some value for Sheppard or he wouldn't have taken them and nothing else when he made the decision to make a break for the border with the Wraith's cash.

Easing himself out of the car, Rodney signaled to his assistants. A man and woman wearing protective gear came forward and placed the bag and its contents into a radiation-proof container then carried it to the back of one of the black SUVs. "Woolsey spoke to his Captain. He'd turned in his badge and service weapon so it's not a stretch that he'd planned on moving to some tropical island that has no extradition treaty or diplomatic relations with the US. Not that it would have stopped us from bringing him back for prosecution." He brushed the dirt from his hands as he watched his people swarm over the area dressed in hazmat suits, beginning the cleanup. By midnight, there would be nothing left to show that anyone had died here aside from some lingering radioactivity.

"He'll have to pay a cancellation fee on his plane ticket." She had more to say, but her patient was ready for transport and she needed to be with him.

"He'll pay more than that. If he lives, he'll be spending the rest of his life in prison."

"But isn't the punishment for a category B felony one to ten?"

"What's your point?"

He said the words and she believed them. But she also heard the wheels spinning inside his head. That could be good or bad and she'd know which soon enough. They'd dated a few times and decided they'd be better off as friends. Best friends. She'd even gone with him to pick out the engagement ring when he was ready to propose to the woman who is now his wife.

"I guess I don't have one." Giving his shoulder a squeeze, she left him to his thoughts and climbed into the back of the cloaked Jumper. The hatch closed, lifted off and headed for their base of operations north-northeast of Las Vegas. The facility had an official name. They had a fabulous sign, assigned parking, an onsite health club and the usual mediocre cafeteria food. However, the staff, with tongue firmly in cheek, called it Area 52 because they thought it a step above Area 51.

~~O~~

The sensation of floating brought Sheppard to semi-consciousness. He tried to remove the oxygen mask but his strength was almost nonexistent. Blinking, he saw a vision surrounded by white light and a halo of blonde hair loose around her shoulders. _I must be in heaven! _

He tried to tell the angel someone had made a massive, huge, _colossal _mistake. He was scheduled to go the other way, but his tongue felt dry and too big for his mouth. She just smiled and spoke to him in soothing tones, her hand resting gently on his arm between the elbow and the wrist, the only part of him that _didn't_ hurt. He didn't know what she was saying, but he'd lay here forever if she'd just continue to talk to him in _that_ voice with _that_ smile and those big brown eyes.

Rallying, he pulled the mask down and addressed the vision. She leaned close to catch his words and pink colored her cheeks. Shaking her head, she took hold of his hand while Derek replaced the mask once more. He curled his fingers around the much smaller ones and felt them grip tight as he surrendered his consciousness.

~~O~~

Dr. Derek Slater watched his boss and friend comforting the critically injured detective, something she was very good at. She leaned close when Sheppard spoke, his words making her blush.

"What he say?"

The color of her cheeks deepening, she pursed her lips. "Um, he said, 'I didn't know angels were so hot.'"

"Poor guy. He's delirious." Derek deadpanned.

"Ha-ha." She gave him a small shove and checked Sheppard's vitals on the hand-held scanner. "Considering what he's been through, it could be worse."

"Think we can save him?" Derek checked the pressure bandages on Sheppard's upper chest while Jennifer checked the ones on his abdomen.

"Maybe. I'll know more once we get inside."

The Jumper came to a soft landing inside the hangar. "We're here," their pilot, Ana Crawford informed them unnecessarily. She and Derek carefully eased the stretcher out the opened hatch and rolled it toward the door that would take them to the Infirmary.

As instructed by the chief medical officer on the very short flight, a surgical team had been prepped. Sheppard was immediately wheeled down the hall and into a room to get him ready. With the authority of a general, Jennifer issued orders that were already being carried out before the words had finished leaving her mouth. Her people were the best of the best and they showed it every minute of every day. Here _and_ in Pegasus.

As Sheppard's ruined clothing and personal effects were removed, a nurse inventoried, bagged and tagged everything as ordered by Mr. Woolsey, with one exception. A somber-faced agent waited outside to take the items to the forensics lab. Behind their masks, the faces of the staff were grave. Sheppard's prognosis for actually surviving the surgery was poor and he had even less of a chance of still being alive by morning.

Entering the surgical theater, her hands held high awaiting gloves Jennifer dried her hands as she said a silent prayer for the man on the table. In her experience, it couldn't hurt and from what little she knew of him, this man could use it more than most.

**San Francisco Police Department**

**Mounted Patrol, Golden Gate Park**

It was quiet in the park for a Saturday afternoon. Kids and adults were playing games, dogs ran around chasing Frisbees, each other or their owners. Others were reading or sitting under a tree with their Netbooks. A few were even asleep, books, hats, arms or shirts covering their eyes.

Sergeant Evan Lorne and Sergeant James Anthony rode their horses side by side through the park, the sun dappling the sidewalks and grass. His normally talkative partner had been unusually quiet while on patrol these last few months. After trying to engage him in conversation on more than a few occasions, he finally gave up and just let him be. Sooner or later the real Anthony would come out again and things would be back to normal. Maybe.

Lorne and Anthony had been partners on this beat for two years. They'd never been as friendly as most teams were though they did have each other's back in an emergency. Lorne had been invited to the Anthony home on most of the major holidays though he didn't always go. Well, up until this past six months when no invitations had come at all which wasn't surprising as his wife had been killed in a car accident and it had been she that had issued all the invitations. Not long after that, Anthony had been out sick for three weeks and that's when everything had changed.

By mutual unspoken agreement, they brought their steeds to a stop. An all-black Tennessee Walker for Lorne and a brown Clydesdale mix for Anthony.

"Lorne." Anthony's voice intruded on his thoughts.

"Yeah."

The taller dark-haired man dismounted and handed the reins over to his partner. Pointing his chin in the direction of the restaurant, he patted his pocket. "Coffee and a cruller. Want something?"

"I'm good." He watched Anthony cross the short expanse of grass, weaving between the denizens of the park to reach path, and jog to the diner. "Dispatch, Twenty-Kilo six and seven, we are ten-seven at The Diner."

"_Roger that, Twenty-Kilo six and seven._"

His eyes and ears were on the surrounding area alert for any sign of trouble even though technically they were off duty. What he didn't see was his partner exiting through the side door, glance once in his direction, and slip around to the back where he was hidden from view.

**Area 52**

**Infirmary ICU**

In the observation area above the surgical theater, Woolsey and Zelenka watched as Jennifer and her team performed miracles. No words had been exchanged between the men the entire time. They'd come and gone, taking turns keeping watch or standing silently together.

"_That's it. Let's close him up._" Jennifer's relieved tones reached them through the intercom as she looked up at them, only her eyes visible above the mask. "_I've done all I can. We'll know more in twenty-four hours._"

Woolsey nodded, shared a grim look with Zelenka and left. The Czech lingered a few minutes, watching the nurses cover the incision and wheel the unconscious Sheppard to Recovery. Though he'd only met the detective on the one occasion, he'd sensed that there was much more to the man than he wanted people to know. Somewhere deep inside, he was more like the other Sheppard than he knew as illustrated by the fact that he could have just left with the money, never looked back and no one would have known until the sky filled with Wraith Hiveships. That he _did_ come back spoke of a part of himself that he'd kept hidden, only letting it see the light of day on rare occasions, like today.

Zelenka covered a yawn and followed in the OAB agent's footsteps. Now came the waiting.

**Twenty-Seven Hours Later**

The soft beeps of the monitor woke Sheppard bringing with it other sounds as well as voices speaking softly nearby. Doogie Howser's sister and the phony FBI agent. Keller and Woolsey. Yeah, that was it. Straining his hearing, he was finally able to distinguish words from background noises.

"…_can't do anything more. We can make him comfortable, but that's it._"

"_I can't think what McKay sees in him._"

A small almost musical laugh. "_He must have been __very__ persuasive if he convinced you to take a chance on some 'nobody detective'._"

Sheppard didn't take offense at the description of himself and his job. He _was_ a nobody detective. Or used to be. He was as sure as he could be that he'd be dead this time tomorrow.

"_Yeah, well he made a very good case._" Sheppard could almost feel the derision this Woolsey guy had for him. "_Are you sure there's nothing more you can do?_"

"_Mmm. Maybe…_" She sounded pensive and he liked the way her voice sounded when it made that mmm sound.

"_You have an idea?_"

Keller's voice got a faraway sound and Woolsey's seemed hopeful, though why, Sheppard had no idea. What was _he_ to them that they'd work this hard to save someone who was lost so many years ago? And why would McKay go to bat for him?

"_Yes, but we'll need help from the mountain._"

There was a pause. "_How can they help with what is ostensibly a medical issue?_"

"_I'll tell you on the way. You up for a quick road trip, Mr. Woolsey?_"

Now Jennifer's voice held excitement. He could even hear the smile, wished he could see it. She hadn't smiled when they met the first time over that dead body though she had sort of smiled when he and McKay had seen her in the hall after he'd seen a live Wraith face-to-face.

"_Always, but why not just call?_"

"_She can't hang up on me if I'm standing in front of her._"

"_Why would she hang up on you? I thought you were friends."_

"_We __are__. Which is how I know that she'll be more responsive to a __personal__ appeal."_

"_And she'll see us why?_" Woolsey sounded reasonable and John could almost hear Keller's shrug. The man sighed heavily, knowing he was beat. "_Okay. Lead the way._"

"_The Daedalus is in orbit so it'll be a quick back and forth._"

_Daedalus_? What the hell is that? Sheppard listened to their footsteps fade, Keller's lighter and quicker than the agent's, and thought about what they'd said. Was there hope for him? If he'd been given a choice one way or the other, he'd have told them to let him die.

But apparently it wasn't up to him anymore. Fate, in the form of a beautiful doctor and a super-secret need-to-know agency had intervened and now he'd be forced to go on living this sorry excuse for a life another thirty or forty years. Yeah, he had a death wish, or thought he had until the alien had tried to kill him. After that first shot he'd dived over the hood of his car looking for cover, any cover.

_Well, John, what do ya wanna do? Make up your mind. If you wanna die, __die__ and stop screwing around! If you want to live, __live!__ Stop just existing. Live or die. Do good or do nothing. _

_I don't care what McKay says dammit! I'm __not__ a hero. _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, those are the choices, asshole. Live. Die. Good. Bad. Pick one from column A and one from column B and get __on__ with it! _

He relocated the conversation he'd overheard to the back of his mind along with the one he'd just had with himself. They obediently dwindled away to be replaced by Johnny Cash singing _Solitary Man_, the soundtrack of his life. _He_ was a solitary man. And this wasn't his first ride on life's Ferris wheel. He knew the score and his side was coming up a big goose egg. Just like always.

Sheppard let sleep claim him without choosing. Didn't matter. The choices would be made for him and he would let it happen.

When the nurse came in to check his vitals and replace his IV, she was surprised to see two small tears coming from the outer corners of her patient's eyes.

~~O~~

Pulling off her gloves, Ana Crawford brushed a hand through Sheppard's unruly hair. She'd tried combing it when he'd come out of surgery but it refused all attempts to tame it. Maybe once it was washed… He'd also been shaved and she thought he was quite handsome, boyish in a way, without the three-day growth on his face that had patches of gray.

One hand rested on his stomach, the one with the IV, and the other, with the oxygen sensor, on his chest near his collarbone as if he were waiting for her to leave so he could remove the mask. Opening the bedside table, she took out the gold chain he'd been wearing around his neck when they brought him in, running her thumb over the shape of the Celtic cross before tucking it into his right hand and closing his fingers over it.

She made notes on his chart and as she left the room, her hand found and gripped the dog tags she wore in remembrance of her husband who was killed in a fight with the Wraith over three years ago. Her footsteps muffled by the covers over her shoes, she went down the hall to the office Derek shared with Jennifer to give him a verbal report.

"There's no improvement in his vitals and he still hasn't regained consciousness."

Derek shook his head sadly. "Damn. Continue to monitor every fifteen and call me if there's change in either direction." He pushed away from the desk. "I'm making a run to the Commissary. Want me to bring you something?"

"Pass. I'm gonna get back. Someone should be there when he wakes."

The brown eyes that looked at her did so with skepticism. "When? How very optimistic of you. Not that that's a bad thing. I've seen patients much worse off come back better than ever. Of course the opposite is true too." She turned away with a nod, coming back when he called her name. "Ana? Thanks. I'm sure he appreciates the great care you're giving him."

"Oh, he _does_."

"Yeah? How do you know?"

Ana smirked at him. "A woman _knows_ these things. FYI - He also appreciates _Dora's_ special brand of attention at night."

Derek chuckled, shaking his head, and turned left as she went right. Back in the ICU, she dragged a chair up next to the only occupied bed. If her mom were here, she'd say something about Sheppard being another of her strays. As a kid, she was always bringing home cats, dogs, hamsters, birds, whatever and nursing them back to health.

Taking her Kindle from the bedside table, she pulled up the novel she'd been trying to finish for almost a month, one eye on the monitor beside Sheppard's bed.

**TBC**


	2. The Past Is Just a Guidepost

**A/N:** Many, many thanks to ladygris, her spouse, Lithane, dwparsnip and Shadows-of-Realm for all of their assistance with this chapter. I'm especially thankful for the longwinded email and IM sessions with ladygris. I helps to have someone as a sounding board for ideas, not to mention having someone tell you you're straying too far from the original premise and moving into the Twilight Zone.

Gracias,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 2**

**The Past Is Just a Guidepost**

Jennifer and Woolsey appeared in the Gate Room at the SGC and were immediately escorted to the commander's office by the ever-present Walter Harriman. The leader of the SGC stood and shook their hands.

"Jennifer. Mr. Woolsey. Have a seat." General Samantha Carter gestured them to the chairs facing the desk. "What can I do for you?"

"Ah…we need your help. We have a patient at the facility that is unlikely to make it another forty-eight hours and…"

"And you were hoping I'd use the healing device on him." Sam tapped the desk in front of her thinking it over. "I assume you're talking about Detective Sheppard."

"Yes. Rodney's newest pet project." Jennifer crossed her knees and linked her hands around them.

Sam picked up a sheaf of papers a half inch thick and dropped it on the desk with a slap. "Rodney's report on the incident, _not_ including his recommendations concerning Sheppard."

Jennifer rolled her eyes. "At least it wasn't a _verbal_ report. He'd still be talking."

"Don't I know it." Sam got up and went around the desk to perch on the corner. "You're absolutely sure he won't make it?"

With a shrug, Jennifer nodded. "Aside from the bullet wounds, there was internal bleeding from the blast and a serious concussion, all complicated by his preexisting conditions. Dehydration, high cholesterol, anemia, and he hasn't been to a dentist in who knows how long. I could go on, but you'll have my full report tomorrow. We've repaired everything as best we could, but we could only do so much. Not to mention all the incidents from his past that have brought him to this place. He'll need _lots_ of therapy."

"The OAB would consider it a great favor if you could do this for us, General." Woolsey was good at his job, proving it now by actually giving the impression that he was completely on board with whatever Rodney had planned. "Quid Pro Quo."

Sam nodded in agreement and checked the time. "I've got drills and inspections in two hours. Let's do this so I can get back."

While Woolsey remained stoic, Jennifer allowed her breath to rush out in relief as they followed Sam first to the storage area where she collected the healing device then to the Gate Room. They didn't need to leave her office to be transported. It just seemed right that they leave from the place that so many had travelled from in the last twelve years.

~~O~~

Ana was dozing off in her chair when the monitor registered an increase in Sheppard's vital signs. It wasn't enough to set off the alarms, but her ears were attuned to the slow steady pace of his heartbeat. And when that increased, she came instantly awake. He'd opened his eyes briefly when she adjusted his position in the bed and checked his IV, but went right back to sleep without saying a word.

She watched his face, relaxed in sleep and mentally recalled what she'd read about him. Shaking her head, she walked down the hall to speak to Derek.

~~O~~

_John was in court sitting at the defendant's table, a bored public defender at his side. They stood when the judge came in and listened while the man advised the court that he, John T. Sheppard, age twenty, newly expelled from Stanford University, had offered to join the military in lieu of jail time. With one __crack__ of the gavel, his entire life had changed._

_Suddenly, the stuffy courtroom blurred and distorted, turning into his boyhood home, a sprawling __single-story ranch with a pool, stables and lots of land surrounding it__. He was standing before a white coffin, flowers of every kind filling the room with an overpowering fragrance. One-half of the coffin was open showing the body of his dead father, Patrick Sheppard. He looked down into the face of the man he'd once idolized and eventually came to despise for his rigid stance on how John should conduct his life. His white hair was perfectly arranged, just like his life, the way he'd wanted his son's lives to be. The eyes opened and his father sat up, causing John to take a alarmed step back. "Dad?"_

"_Why are you here, John?"_

"_The heart attack. I…"_

"_You've been a disgrace to this family since long before you stole that car." An arm came up, one finger pointing at him._

"_I didn't…steal…the…car, dad. I've told you that over and over, but you wouldn't __listen__. You __never__ listened to me. It was…"_

"_Nothing you've done or could do will ever measure up to your brother. He was always the good son, the one I could be proud of." Eyes the same color as his own followed him as he went to the door. John stumbled to a halt when his dead father appeared in front of him, still with that same uncompromising and inflexible expression he'd seen the last time they'd been together, that he'd seen every time they'd spoken until the day he'd left. "You've brought shame, dishonor and disappointment to us for the last time. Leave! You're not wanted here!"_

_John stepped around his father running from the room and found himself standing with his hands on the trunk of a cherry Chevy Corvette while a cop patted him down. Taking first his right hand then his left, the cop handcuffed him as his partner read him his rights._

"_You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney…"_

~~O~~

Alarms blared through the ICU just as Jennifer, Woolsey and Sam arrived. Derek was already administering a sedative. John stopped writhing though the pain was emotional, not physical, but the medical staff had no way of knowing. They just saw the results of him reliving traumatic events from his life.

~~O~~

_The cabin of the chopper was filled with smoke, crying and sobbing. The small helicopter was on its side on top of the remains of an American military convoy. The rebels began shooting just as John was bringing them in for a landing causing them to crash._

_Pulling his harness off, John kicked open the cockpit door that was masquerading as the ceiling and levered himself out. He wiped the blood out of his left eye, feeling a lump begin to rise, coughed a few times then climbed up to stand on the bent skid to open the door of the cabin. "Hey, you guys okay? Hey!" Still on top of the Deuce and its occupants, it tilted slightly, metal scraping against metal._

_When he got to where he could look inside, all he could see was broken bodies and blood tangled together. Someone was still alive because moaning came from somewhere within, but most were dead. Bile hit the back of his throat but he forced it down. He jumped to the ground and circled the cockpit while soldiers and medics swarmed over the area. From underneath, the legs of at least two people and the arm, shoulder and sightless eyes of another protruded, the aircraft having crushed them on impact. Somehow he knew there was a fourth soldier also killed by the chopper's weight. _

_Smoke went in his face obscuring his vision and choking him. "Caitlin? Cait!" _

_The smoke did its job of stealing oxygen and he collapsed onto his knees, barely conscious, hands pressed to the window peering through a jagged hole. Inside, a head covered with short red hair lifted up, a shard of Plexiglas jutting from her forehead, the blue eyes staring at him, blood running down her face and into the collar of her BDU. "This is __your__ fault, John. We're dead because of __you__!"_

_Wheeling away from the accusing face of the woman he'd risked his life and military career for, he found himself surrounded by the bloody, torn and dismembered bodies of the eight civilians and four military, including Caitlin, who'd died in the failed rescue attempt. All were pointing and telling him it was his fault…his fault…his fault…_

~~O~~

John felt a hand on his cheek then it moved to take his hand, the one without the IV. "Sh! Calm down. It's okay, Detective. You're safe."

The soothing words in the sweet voice he remembered from before worked in conjunction with the sedative calming John, his vitals dropping down to their previous low levels. He opened his eyes just enough to see, well, it had to be a hallucination. Standing over his bed were two of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. Both were blonde, one long and the other short. One in scrubs and the other in khaki. One with eyes the color of very good whiskey and the other the blue of a summer sky. One amused and the other…not.

He licked his dry lips and closed his eyes, waited a few seconds and opened them again.

"Detective Sheppard, are you alright? Are you in pain?"

Giving a small shake of his head, he pulled the oxygen mask off. "Am I dead?"

Jennifer's eyebrows drew together in concern. "_Dead?_ Why would you think that?"

Now John opened his eyes all the way even though the brightness of the room made his head pound. Looking from Jennifer to Sam and back again, he let his gaze linger on the young doctor, one side of his mouth lifted in a smile. "Because from here it looks just like…heaven."

Sam and Jennifer gave him identical eye rolls with Sam speaking for the first time. "Does that overly obvious charm work on many women, Detective?"

Shrugging, John tried to adjust his position and found that it didn't hurt as much as he thought it should. "Not really. But I'm dying. Thought it was worth a shot." Holding up her left hand, Sam wiggled her fingers, letting the light sparkle off the platinum and diamonds on the third finger. Next she turned so he could see the patch on her shirt that gave her name and rank. "Oh. Sorry, General." He let his head roll so he could look at Jennifer though his vision was blurry. "Guess it's just you and me…Angel."

**San Francisco**

**Golden Gate Park**

Evan looked at his watch again. Every day at this time his partner would go into The Diner for coffee and a donut. That in itself wasn't such a big deal. The problem was how long Anthony was gone. The first time wasn't so bad. Fifteen minutes and they were on patrol again. But fifteen minutes stretched into seventeen, then to twenty…twenty-five. Now it was going on thirty-plus. It was against policy to leave their steeds unattended but someone had to roust the man from his caffeine and sugar coma.

Tying the horses to the light pole, he turned to see a boy watching him curiously. Lorne tucked his thumbs into his leather belt and stood up straight. At five feet nine, he'd barely passed the height requirements for the department. However, he'd graduated with a BS in Criminal Justice and 4.0 GPA. He excelled in forensic science, criminal procedure, criminal law, and ethics and discretion, seeming to have an almost instinctive capacity to see all the pieces to the puzzle and put them together in a coherent fashion. It bothered him that he'd let this thing with Anthony go so long before doing something about it.

Pushing his concerns about his partner aside, a sincere smile came over his face. He loved kids. His sister had two and they were always excited when they knew Uncle Evan was coming to visit. "Hey."

"Hey. Can I pet your horses?" the boy, nine, maybe ten, asked boldly.

Letting his arms ease down to his sides, Evan reached into a pocket and withdrew a zippered plastic bag. "Sure. Wanna feed them? Here you go." He handed the boy two carrot sticks. "The black fellow is a Tennessee Walker, name of Echo. His buddy's Whiskey and he's a Clydesdale mix."

The boy fed each horse and rubbed their noses, both horses nickering softly. "I love horses, but mom's scared of 'em so she won't take me to the stables to ride."

"Sorry to hear that." Evan stuck out his right hand. "Sergeant Lorne."

"Travis Donovan."

"Pleased to meet you, Travis." In the distance, a woman's voice called the boy's name causing his face to fall. "Better get back before she comes looking for you."

"Yeah. Thanks, Sergeant." The boy was gone before he could answer. Evan grinned at his retreating back and turned just in time to see Anthony exit the front door.

"Took you long enough. Grow the coffee beans yourself?" Evan untied the horses, passed Whiskey's reins back to his partner and leapt easily into the saddle.

"Funny, Lorne."

"We're scheduled as security for the game tonight. Let's get going before dispatch sends the Lieutenant around to check on us."

**Area 52**

**Infirmary**

When Sheppard winked at her, Jennifer blushed bright red to the roots of her hair, which he seemed to find immensely amusing as did Sam.

"Angel?"

Jennifer wanted to punch him but refrained. "It's a, uh, private joke. Right, Detective?"

"If you say so." He let his eyes linger on hers a moment before closing them again, he tried to take a deep breath. The incisions pulled a little but didn't hurt. _I really should have stayed in shape. Well, too late now, Sheppard. You're goin' to hell and won't even leave a good-looking corpse._

Jennifer indicated Sam with a nod. "General Samantha Carter of Stargate Command."

"Stargate? McKay said something about that. Wormholes, travel to other planets. That kind of thing?" Neither woman responded so he continued with his previous thought. "By the way, thanks for the good drugs. I don't feel a thing. Not even my feet." He wiggled the appendages so she wouldn't think he couldn't move them.

"Just don't get used to it. You'll be up and around soon and you're not becoming an addict on my watch."

He surprised her by chuckling. "You and I both know this isn't gonna end well. The final curtain's coming down on the mostly _pointless_ life of one John Thaddeus Sheppard." Yes, he had a sense of humor about dying, but that didn't stop the edge of bitterness from creeping into the last couple of words.

"Don't be so sure of that." Sam raised her left hand. Nestled in the palm was a circular object matte gold in color with a dark red jewel like a garnet at the center. In her left hand was another device that looked like a mutant crab, at least to John. "Just relax. This won't hurt…much."

~~O~~

Sam held the circular device over John's chest while passing the other back and forth over his torso down to his thighs and back making sure to cross over the worst of his injuries. A strange humming came from both, almost musical in tone and texture while blue and red light played over him.

Her eyes closed so she could concentrate, Sam started feeling dizzy. She figured it was a side effect of the device. They weren't sure how it worked though it appeared to transfer some of the operator's life energy to the recipient. However, that hadn't been the reason she'd hesitated when asked to help. She'd read Rodney's proposal regarding the man on the bed and wasn't certain she agreed. Again, that was only part of the reason. Her compassion would have led her to volunteer anyway, had she known his condition and had Jennifer not asked for help.

No. Her hesitation came from the fact that she'd never used the device herself. She'd only seen it used once by Nirrti when she'd cured Cassandra of the retrovirus and again by her dad when he'd tried to cure Daniel of the radiation poisoning that ultimately claimed his life. She still missed her friend.

The dizziness increased, yet Sam pressed on. This wasn't the first time she'd risked injury to herself to help someone she didn't know.

~~O~~

John began to feel warmth within his chest and abdomen at the locations of his injuries. The heat intensified almost to the point of pain, contractions in the muscles of his torso giving the appearance of a minor seizure yet Sam continued.

Squeezing his eyes shut and clamping his teeth together to keep from moaning out loud, he was surprised when the odd sensations suddenly stopped followed by a thump and Jennifer's voice calling out. "Sam!"

~~O~~

John opened his eyes to see another woman and a man rush into the room. Grabbing the rails, he pulled himself up far enough to see Carter sprawled on the floor unconscious, taking note that he was able to do so now whereas he hadn't been able move hardly at all a few minutes ago.

Letting his head fall back to the pillow, he swore to himself. If she died because of him, this was it. He'd take steps to ensure no one was ever hurt by him again and inside his head, he began to make plans. Here in this hospital, he should be able to find what he needed. Skills he'd acquired in his troublemaking youth would serve him well. There were just some things you never forgot.

Doctors, nurses and other medical personnel came and went performing all sorts of tests on him while behind the curtain they did the same to the General. Apparently he was well enough now to move because instead of bringing in the portable scanner every couple of hours as they had been doing, he was helped into a wheelchair and taken down the hall.

He lay down on the padded table and closed his eyes as the scanning mechanism slid back and forth over his body. A few minutes later he heard Jennifer's soft footfalls enter and the murmur of her voice mixed with the deeper tones of a man. They seemed to be more than satisfied with the results.

He clasped his hands together over his stomach circling his thumbs first in one direction then reversing trying to listen in on their conversation. But they weren't novices at discussing a patient in his or her presence. Only a few words reached his ears and they weren't at all helpful.

John's stomach grumbled reminding him that he hadn't eaten in more than forty-eight hours, though that wasn't unusual for him. Food had never been a big priority causing him to be about fifteen pounds under his ideal weight. He ate to fuel his body and for no other reason, consuming whatever products were served at the nearest fast food franchise, eating without tasting and just enough to get by. Without fail, he always ordered the number six combo, regular size. The rest of the time he drank coffee or water. He lived in the desert after all.

Most people who didn't know him and went by his appearance would probably think he was an alcoholic as well as a gambling addict. He had the occasional two fingers of Jack just to be sociable, but seldom more than that.

In the military, he'd been at the top of his game physically though not mentally, often going on runs with his squad or alone. Now, when it came time to run down a perp, he became winded much quicker than some of the older officers on the force. Naturally, it brought to mind his last foot chase through the casino after the strange man that had turned out to be an alien called a Wraith, a creature from a galaxy three million light years away.

Stilling his hands, John rubbed his cheek and chin feeling the beginnings of stubble. Someone had shaved him, probably while he was still out following the surgery. The vision of the blonde doctor he called Angel carefully spreading white foam over his face and wielding a straight razor with surgical precision while he slept caused parts of him that should have remained dormant to react in predictable fashion. At least he was wearing a gown instead of those scrub things that provided no way to hide what was happening.

To distract himself, he sat up and swung his legs over the side. A brief moment of dizziness came over him then was gone. Tentatively, he touched the location of the first GSW through the cotton, the one on his chest. Though there was some pain, it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been. Pulling the neck of the gown away, he peeked inside and saw a reddish area slightly larger than a quarter with a textured surface. The same hand dropped down and reached inside to touch the spots on his upper and lower abdomen finding what felt like similar wounds. He had a high tolerance for pain but only remembered feeling the first one. After that, adrenaline had fueled his body, blocking the pain impulses and increasing his physical performance allowing his fight or flight instincts to take over. And he'd chosen flight. He had run for his LIFE! In the end it had been futile, but he'd tried.

He slid off the edge of the scanner bed and stood on his own for the first time since he'd tried to get away from the burning trailer and almost screamed in pain when every muscle in his back tightened up. Bending forward to ease the pressure on his battered spine, he worked his way to the wheelchair by holding on to anything that looked solid enough to take the strain pulling his wheeled IV pole along with him. His legs and arms hurt too, as if he'd been beaten.

He was weak but within that weakness he could feel the capacity to gain strength signaling that there were better days ahead. Maybe. He'd reserve judgment until he found out what these people wanted in exchange for saving his pitiful life.

John had just sat down when Jennifer left by another door and he knew she was avoiding him. The other doctor, Slater, came around the big machine. "Detective, you aren't supposed to be up and around without assistance."

"Had to let the cat out."

Confused, Derek tossed a blanket over John's lap, unlocked the brakes and pushed him from the room. "Cat? I'm not up on the current lingo. Is that some sort of euphemism?"

"No. Just my way of saying I was bored."

"Next time, just call. We'll be happy to take you where you want to go, Detective."

"In that case, can we hit the casino?" He rubbed his hands together. "I'm feelin' _lucky_."

**San Francisco **

**Golden Gate Park**

Here it was Wednesday and Evan was already so damn tired it wasn't funny but at least they were off the next few days. The game he and Anthony had chaperoned last night had gone into overtime. He hadn't gotten into bed until nearly midnight. Hiding a yawn behind his hand, he counted to sixty and checked his watch again. If Anthony stayed in the diner more than fifteen minutes he would go in after him.

Movement in the corner of his eye turned his head in time for him to see Anthony slip out the side exit and disappear into the stand of bushes. He dismounted swearing the man would be on report if he was getting a little afternoon delight while they were on duty. Tying Echo and Whiskey's reins to a light pole, he crept silently in the direction he'd seen his partner go. When he got close, he heard voices, both male. They had this eerily deepened register that echoed even though they spoke quietly to each other.

His forehead crinkled as his thoughts chased each other. Coming back to himself, he heard them take their leave of each other. Moving backward, Evan went to the horses and waited for Anthony to return. When he did, they mounted and rode off on their rounds as if nothing odd had occurred.

"Dispatch, Twenty-Kilo six and seven, we are ten-eight at The Diner headed East."

"_Ten-four, Twenty-Kilo six and seven_**."**

**TBC**


	3. Better Days Ahead

**A/N:** Mucho thanks to ladygris for all of her help with this story. Sometimes all it took was a word or a phrase to spark an idea that turned into an integral part of the whole. I can never thank her enough.

_Merci_,

Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 3**

**Better Days Ahead**

**Area 52**

**Infirmary**

As Slater helped him into bed, John grumbled and complained about the gown he was forced to wear, specifically the breeze on his nether regions. He didn't like not being able to do for himself though he hadn't really had anyone to rely on since his last partner. Not that he'd been able to rely on the guy for much except getting them both overpriced coffee from the Java Hut and the occasional donut from Pastries and More.

Reflecting that the longest a partner had lasted with him was three months, he also considered, not for the first time, that he'd never been assigned a female partner. Didn't matter. He knew what women cops, what most women thought of him. Especially that CSI, Catherine Willows. The one time he'd asked her out for a drink she'd given him a look that said she'd rather swim naked with hungry piranhas than be seen in public with him. It wasn't like he'd asked her to have _sex_ with him. Okay, so he'd have gotten to it after the second round. She didn't have to be such a bitch about it and file a grievance. Now it was brought up every time he had a review. Or had been. He'd no idea what he was going to do now that it looked like he was going to live to see more than a few sunrises.

He was brought out of his funk when Slater returned. The doctor didn't say anything, just tossed a set of scrubs on John's lap and walked away. More grateful than he wanted to admit, he called out, "Hey! White makes me look pasty. You got any in black? Or red?"

~~O~~

_Beep…beep…beep…beep…_

Sam opened her eyes and saw the ceiling of Area 52's Infirmary though it looked like any other utilitarian ceiling. Not as gray as the one at the SGC but… She lifted her head and a wave of dizziness made her squeeze her eyes shut and drop her head back to the pillow. "Whoa."

"Welcome back."

Sheppard's voice came from behind the privacy curtain to her left. She ran her tongue around the inside of her mouth and over her lips. "What happened?"

A metallic sliding sound hit her ears then a pair of concerned hazel eyes were watching her, one hand holding the privacy curtain out of the way. "You were using that thing on me and passed out."

"Yeah. I 'member. Well, not the passing out part."

Clearing his throat, John tried to inject the correct amount of respect into his next comments. It had been a while since his discharge but he still remembered what it was like and how to act toward a superior officer. "General Carter, ma'am, I regret that I was responsible for what happened. But please remember it was _not_ my idea. Until you arrived, I'd no idea something like _that…_" he gestured at the devices on the bedside table, "…existed."

"Your apology isn't necessary, Captain. I volunteered for this op."

"Yes, ma'am." Cringing at the use of his former Air Force rank, John reached for the call button to let someone know the General was awake. It wasn't necessary. Jennifer returned at that moment, not even sparing him a glance. She was followed by the nurse who'd been in and out all day carrying a tray which she set in front of him.

He watched Jennifer though all her attention was focused on Carter. That she ignored him caused disappointment to stick one little toe over the line though he didn't want to examine the reason too closely. Instead, he blatantly eavesdropped on their conversation.

~~O~~

"Hey. How you feelin'?" Jennifer tried to keep her bland professional smile in place but it kept wanting to get out of control.

Not willing to continue showing weakness, Sam lied. "Fine."

Pulling the curtain between the beds again, Jennifer kept talking. "Well, the good thing is, we know why you fainted." She leaned down to whisper in her friend's ear.

A moment later, Sheppard was startled when Sam loudly exclaimed, "Pregnant? How the _hell_ did _that_ happen?"

Jennifer grinned down at Sam as she raised the head of the bed. "You see, Sam, when a man and a woman love each other…"

"Ha-ha. I mean how…what about…we were told…" She lowered her voice. "I thought I couldn't _get_ pregnant."

"Guess the tests were wrong. You're in your sixteenth week so we can do a sonogram. We'll even be able to tell you the gender if you want to know."

Sam looked around and Jennifer passed her a glass of water. "Doesn't matter to me but _he'll_ wanna know." She sipped the cool liquid until a thought occurred to her. "You didn't _call_ him, did you?"

Looking guilty, the other woman wouldn't meet her eyes. "Yeah. He was offworld with his team. They're recalling him."

"Crap!" Sam set the glass on the bedside table and swung her legs over the side. "I need to get back to the mountain before he comes through. And we have drills, inspections…"

"Uh-uh." Jennifer pressed Sam back onto the bed. "You're staying right here until all of the tests come back. Besides, you've been out a while. He'll be here in a few minutes."

A voice followed the pneumatic whoosh of the door opening. "He's here _now!_" Dressed in a black uniform, Sam's husband rushed to her side, took her hand and dropped a quick kiss on her lips. "Are you alright? What happened?"

"I'm _fine_."

Addressing Jennifer, he asked, "Why'd she faint?"

"Oh, uh, Sam, you wanna take it?"

Sam nodded, her voice and expression softened with the love she felt for this man. Love that was reflected in his eyes as well. "You, uh, might want to sit down for this next part."

~~O~~

Jennifer moved away to give them as much privacy as possible within the limited space of the Infirmary. With a smile, she poked John in the arm. "How're _you_ feeling?"

"Better. Still sore. That explosion _really_ did a number on me." He shifted in the bed and slurped up another spoonful of Jell-O. He hadn't had the jiggly dessert in so long he couldn't remember the last time. _This blue stuff is really good!_

"No kidding. If you'd seen what _we_ saw when we opened you up…" she stopped holding up a finger for silence, listening. "Hold on a sec." She pulled back the curtain, grabbed the chair next to the bed and swung it around just in time for Sam's husband to sit in it. When she turned back to John, her face hadn't changed expression. It still had that same bland professional smile that she used on everyone. "Is it _weird_ that I know him so well?"

John wasn't even looking at her. He was staring at the man in black, and we're not talking Johnny Cash. "That's _McKay_, isn't it?"

With a bright smile, Jenifer nodded. "They'd been told, _not_ by me, that she wouldn't be able to conceive so they're both in shock."

"But _McKay_ and _her_?" He drank the last of his herbal tea and pushed the overbed table away.

"Why do you find that so hard to believe?" She crossed her arms and shifted her weight onto one foot, a little annoyed on behalf of her friend.

"Well, she's, uh…"

"Hot?"

One side of his mouth lifted in a grin. "I was _gonna_ say attractive. And he's…"

"Arrogant? Opinionated?"

"You forgot smug and patronizing, but yeah." He was still watching the couple now talking quietly, both of Rodney's hands holding Sam's left one. Jennifer yanked the curtain between them again. "Love is blind, but in _his_ case, it must be deaf and dumb, too."

She could see John wanted to say more but he closed his mouth at Rodney's comment thrown over his shoulder. "I can _hear_ you!"

A few minutes later a technician came in with a device on a wheeled table. He went behind the curtain to get set up and a few minutes later they heard gasps from Rodney and Sam. "Okay, Mom and Dad. Here we go. There's the head, arms, chest, heart, legs and…"

"_Yes!_ A boy!" Rodney seemed very happy.

"Oh, _perfect_. Another _you_ running loose in the universe. How _will_ we survive?" Sam's good natured ribbing made him chuckle. They watched the monitor silently for a while as the technician scanned a different area. "Um…what's _that_?"

"_That_…" the tech told them with self-satisfied amusement, "…is baby number two. A girl. They're both _very_ healthy by the way." There was a pause then, "Dr. McKay, are you alright?"

"Two…babies." Rodney's voice sounded as if it were far away and getting even farther away by the second. A thump followed the scraping of chair legs on the floor as Rodney sat down hard for the second time.

With a small laugh, Jennifer ducked around the curtain. "Why don't you take your wife to get something to eat then home? I want her to rest for the next seventy-two hours and I'll call when the rest of the tests come back."

Over Sam's protests that she was fine, _dammit_, Rodney's excited voice rose in pitch. "Really?" The physicist stood up and helped Sam put her boots on. With an arm around her waist, he guided her out the automatic doors and down the hall.

"_You know, I'm perfectly capable of walking on my own_," Sam objected though she didn't try to move away, loving the feel of his arm around her at any time but even more so now.

"_Excuse __me__ for wanting to take care of my wife and our kids_."

Their happiness came through in their next exchange. Happiness and love for each other.

"_Our__ kids. I love the sound of that, Rodney_."

"_Yeah. Me too_."

~~O~~

John watched the stunned parents-to-be leave, eventually turning his wide-eyed stare back to Jennifer. "How does a guy like that…"

The doctor held up a hand. "They love each other very much. And if you knew the things they'd both been through since joining Stargate Command, you'd know what miracles these babies really are."

Conceding the point, John commented, "You gotta admit they make a really _odd_ couple."

Jennifer laid both hands on the railing, her eyes rolling. "They're no odder than you and me." Realizing what she'd just said, she tried to backpedal. "Oh! Um, what I mean is, uh…"

"So you're thinkin' about you and me, _Angel_?" He always put emphasis on the nickname because he knew it ruffled her feathers and sure enough, she blushed.

"No! I, uh, was just, you know, giving an example, Detective."

She was flustered again and his eyes glinted with amusement. He also didn't know what had come over him. Flirting wasn't his style. When he found a woman attractive or needed someone to satisfy his body's needs, he came right out and said what was on his mind. Most of the time, it worked. When it didn't, he dealt with the cold rejection and moved on. But there was just something about Jennifer that made him want to do and say things he'd never done or said before. "Call me John." _Yeah, like that._

"Uh…" A male voice interrupted what had become an awkward situation for Jennifer sending her blood pressure up.

"Detective Sheppard? Special Agent David Magee, second-in-command of the General George Hammond Memorial Research Facility or Area 52, if you prefer." His tone left no doubt which he favored.

If John read her body language correctly and he knew he did, the slightly nasal voice with a New England accent belonged to one of Jennifer's least favorite people. He was a trained observer. It was his job. Or had been. Her back stiffened and the light blush turned into a deeper flush. The smile disappeared completely. The man extended his right hand and John ignored it, his arms crossed. If Jennifer didn't like the man, then _he_ didn't like him either. "_Former_ Detective."

John watched Magee watch Jennifer scurry out of the room, head down and eyes averted. _What did this creep do to make her so edgy?_ If he was harassing the young doctor, the two of them would be having words. Well, as soon as he was well enough to back up those words with actions.

"Do something for you, Magee?" He judged the man to be somewhere in his thirties. His already thinning hair was slicked back in a way that he no doubt considered stylish. His suit made of Italian silk fit perfectly. In fact, everything he wore was Italian and expensive. This guy had money and didn't mind flaunting it. He wore everything with a casualness that spoke of having grown up with it as opposed to acquiring it later in life.

John's dislike climbed closer to disgust. Magee reminded him of things he didn't _want_ to remember, wished he could forget. But that was the problem with the traumatic memories. Somehow they managed to overshadow any good memories that might still be around. If he thought hard enough, John did have good memories, but they were from before his mother died. She was the last person to treat him as if he mattered, as if someone cared. Her and Caitlin.

"Actually, it's something the agency can do for _you_." He passed John a folder of documents and a pen. "Read this over, make notes if you like. I'll come back tomorrow and we'll discuss any questions you have." With a nod, Magee was gone again.

~~O~~

Jennifer hurried down the hall to her office, slammed the door and locked it thankful that Derek was not there because she really needed to be alone. Opening the small 'fridge she'd brought in so she wouldn't have to go to the break room, she pulled out a cold drink. Twisting the top off with a snap of her wrist, she drank down half of it without stopping.

A shudder worked its way down her spine as she dropped into her chair. Every time David Magee looked at her, she felt like crossing her arms over her chest. She'd been able to avoid him for the most part, but it wouldn't last forever.

Booting up her computer, she got to work ordering additional tests for Sheppard…for John. That done, she let herself picture him as he was now, just the slightest stubble and wearing scrubs instead of clothing that looked like he'd slept in them every night for more than a week. They'd had to cut his clothes off of him when he was brought in so the scrubs were all he really had. He needed real clothes.

Pushing away from the desk, Jennifer grabbed her purse and headed for the motor pool. She could have taken her own vehicle but she was on company business. Besides, she really liked driving the H3. It made her feel…invincible, as though she could do _anything_. As she pulled off the base, she sang the theme from one of her favorite cartoons. "Here I come to save the day! That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way!"

~~O~~

Dr. Tish Adams drove the highway between Enterprise and Las Vegas, the convertible top up and the A/C on in deference to the oppressive desert heat. She'd just come from visiting her brother's grave. Every time she went there she came home drowning in guilt and sentimentality. He'd been gone for three years. It was time for her to move on. Not _forget_ Mordred, but not spend so much time thinking how it all should have been different. Different. _Yeah, right. It's my __job__. I should have heard what he was trying to say. _

She turned on the CD player to drown out her internal voice. She'd shut it off in the middle of a song when she arrived at the cemetery. Back on, Ronan Keating was still singing her brother's favorite song.

_All day long I can hear people talking out loud  
But when you hold me near _

_You drown out the crowd  
Try as they may they could never define _

_What's been said between your heart and mi-_

With a growl, she ejected the CD and buzzed the window down. With a flip of the wrist, she sailed the disc through the air. It landed on the opposite side of the highway and was promptly run over by a big rig, but she didn't see it. As soon as it left her hand, her right foot slammed on the gas until the speedometer passed the double. She didn't slow down, not even when she hit the city limits.

~~O~~

Magee entered the empty Infirmary. Sheppard's bed had been made though he wasn't in it. Searching the overbed and bedside tables, he located the documents he'd left with him the day before. He found nearly illegible handwriting in the margins on most of the pages. When he got to the most important pages of the document, he wasn't surprised to find that Sheppard had written across the page two words not usually uttered aloud in polite company. But then Sheppard didn't strike him as a man who paid much attention to society's unwritten rules or care if what he said offended the people around him.

For some reason he'd yet to establish, Woolsey and the OAB were content to give that oaf McKay just about anything he wanted. And for some reason he wanted Sheppard.

So far, the agency had managed to cover up or divert attention from their activities, but every day brought with it another opportunity for a slip. Sheppard was an embarrassment to the human race and would most certainly put the agency and it's operatives at risk, but it wasn't _his_ decision.

A sneer curled his lip. Soon _he_ would be in charge. He hated Nevada in general and Las Vegas in particular. The first thing he'd do is have the facility moved to a more agreeable location, like Florida or Hawaii or even Corpus Christi. His next order of business would be to give McKay the keys to the street. No more corner office with a view of the desert and no more cushy research job in another galaxy.

And he'd seen the way Keller looked at Sheppard while he was sleeping off the anesthetic. She had the hots for him no matter how much she denied it. What could a loser ex-cop do for her that he couldn't? Shaking his head he knew he'd never understand the female mind. Booting up his computer, he opened the file he'd encrypted himself and began his latest entry in the report he was compiling concerning the goings on in Area 52.

~~O~~

Her shopping had taken so long Jennifer decided to stay in town for the night. Partially to avoid Magee but also to think. And mostly she thought about John Sheppard and why he affected her the way he did. He was _sooo_ not the type of man she was usually attracted to. He was too dangerous, too closed off emotionally. And too damn sexy for her peace of mind whether he was wearing his old worn out clothes, a hospital gown or the scrubs.

She pulled back the covers and sat propped up in bed with a pillow, the remote in one hand and a glass of white wine in the other. Flipping through the channels, she settled on a sitcom rerun about four super intelligent guys and a pretty but ditzy girl. However, her attention kept wandering to the bags on the table, specifically, the pink and white bag from an upscale lingerie store and its contents.

Tossing the remote aside, she scooted off the bed and pulled out the items. They were unlike anything she'd ever bought before. Her usual was a white or nude bra with plain "grannie panties." These were not white, nude _or_ plain. With a growl of frustration at herself for being a prude, she stripped down and put them on.

The bra was in a color called pink magnolia with black lace covering just the lower half and curving up at the outer edge. It conformed to her shape while at the same time giving her just enough of a lift to showcase to great effect what God had given her. The bikini panties were the same color with black lace around the v-shaped upper edge that came down so low they barely covered…anything. She'd bought several sets in different colors but these were her favorites.

And that wasn't all she'd bought. Removing the bra and panties, she slipped into the pajamas. It was a four-piece set of long pants, long-sleeved top, camisole and short shorts made of satin in bronze with gold accents. The color and style complemented her fair skin and made the gold flecks in her eyes stand out. She had to admit the satin was sensuous against her skin making her feel pampered and sexy.

Shutting off the television, she downed the rest of her wine, went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and climbed into bed. Rolling onto her side, she looked out the gap in the curtains. Only a few stars were visible in the night sky because of the bright lights of the city. Sometimes she had trouble falling asleep when she first returned to Earth without the sound of the water to lull her. She missed the dual moons of New Athos as well.

With a sigh, she turned out the light and went to sleep.

**The Next Morning**

Ana hustled down the hall in the direction of the Infirmary two steps behind Derek. Both drawn by the loud voices of Magee and Sheppard engaged in a heated argument. They were employing an impressive amount of colorful language, their patient getting the upper hand in that area.

For someone who was supposedly part administrator and part diplomat, the voice of reason when all others had lost theirs, Magee got in a few good shots as well.

The doctor tried to pull Magee away before he and their patient came to blows but the inclusion of his voice only made things worse. In the hall, staff members were poking their heads out wanting to know what had disturbed the usual calm of their workplace. Ana waved them away with her patented it's-not-as-bad-as-it-seems smile.

After two minutes of standing there looking from one male face to the other waiting for them to wind down, Ana finally had enough. She put two fingers in her mouth and a shrill whistle came out, quickly silencing all three men.

Derek, his eyes wide, was the first to speak. "_Where_ did you learn to _do_ that?"

The nurse sighed as if they'd talked about this subject before. "I have four brothers, all younger. It was the only way I could get their attention when they started fighting over their toys or got into a wrestling match while our folks were out."

"Oh." His smile was sheepish. "I should know that, right?" Ana nodded and he had the good sense to look apologetic. Turning to Sheppard and Magee, he crossed his arms. "So what's going on here, Agent Magee? Why are you upsetting our patient?"

"_Me? _Upsetting _him?_" Magee stood up as straight as possible, gathered his papers together, roughly shoved his fancy gold pen into the front pocket of his suit jacket and pulled his dented dignity around him like a cloak. "He is the most ill-mannered, obstinate man I have ever met in my life." Turing on his heel, he left the Infirmary.

When the door had closed, John hooked a thumb in his direction. "Has he _met_ McKay?" He scowled at Ana as she fussed over him, straightening his covers, fluffing his pillow and checking his IV before leaving the room. "Sorry, doc. It was just a difference of opinion."

Derek relaxed his stance and moved to the vital signs monitor. "You shouldn't be getting upset, Detective. It could set back your recovery." He tapped at the keys bringing up the records from the last fifteen minutes, relieved when it showed that John hadn't been as stressed as he'd sounded. He was probably more amused more than anything. How he could control his body's physical reactions in a tense situation but was unable to control his impulse to gamble was beyond the medical doctor's scope to comprehend.

"I'm _fine_. When can I get out of here?"

His voice distracted as he scanned the results of John's most recent tests, Derek told him, "Not for several weeks, give or take. The device General Carter used to heal you was only partly successful due to her condition. While you're no longer in imminent danger of dying from your injuries, you are a long way from being healthy. You'll have to endure some physical therapy due to the concussive force of the explosion. Not to mention the inevitable sessions with the staff shrink."

"Shrink? But…"

Now Derek chuckled. "Wait till you meet her. You're gonna _love_ Dr. Adams."

**TBC**


	4. Empty Yesterdays

**A/N:** As always, thanks to ladygris for all her help with, well, everything. And thanks to Shadows-of-Realm for his assistance with another matter.

FYI - In this AU, the symbiotes are _not_ unisex. They are male or female.

Namaste,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 4**

**Empty Yesterdays**

John would have pursued the matter of visiting the shrink further, but Ana returned with a tray and the smell of food made his stomach grumble.

Derek took the tray from her and set it on the table. "Let's take out the IV first."

Ana expertly and painlessly removed the IV. Pressing a cotton ball to the spot, she had John hold it while she used a bandage to keep the pressure on. She took the cloth napkin from his tray, shook it out and draped it over his lap before wheeling the overbed table in front of him. He lifted the cover and like the day before, the fare was light, chicken broth, crackers, applesauce and herbal tea.

"If you eat everything like a good boy and it stays down, we'll let you get out of bed for a while."

"'Good boy' doesn't exactly describe me, but get me some of that blue Jell-O and you got a deal."

~~O~~

Richard sat behind his desk flipping through the papers that his underling had retrieved from Sheppard. His eyebrows rose when he saw what was written on the one page though with amusement instead of disgust. He wasn't nearly as stuffy as his staff thought he was.

Magee, slightly on the chubby side, paced back and forth in front of the desk, stopping suddenly to lean on the edge. "_How_ can you even consider…" he gestured at the papers. "He should be in _jail_, not our Infirmary."

Removing his glasses, Richard tossed them on the desk. Secretly he agreed with David but only up to a point. Where they differed was how Sheppard would be dealt in the future.

With a phone call of less than thirty seconds duration, Sheppard had saved Earth from being culled by the Wraith. McKay was right. He deserved more than just a bandage, a slap on the back and a hearty "thanks a bunch but don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."

Richard stood, indicating that their talk was at an end. "I'll deal with Detective Sheppard myself."

"Good. I'm _done_ with him." Without being formally dismissed, David left, slamming the door behind him.

Removing his suit jacket and loosening his tie, Richard resumed his seat. Flipping once more to the page that had amused him earlier, he finally let a grin come to his face. That had been the exact response he'd expected. Turning to the right, he slipped the papers into the shredder. _Bzzzt!_ Opening the middle drawer, he extracted two unblemished copies. _Bzzzt!_

He booted up his workstation and opened the file on their guest. Keeping in mind what had been written in the margins of the pages he'd just disposed of, he made changes to the document except for one very specific section. Those items were deal-breakers.

Saving his work, he sent it to the printer on the credenza behind him. Separating the pages into three identical stacks, he stapled the corners and set them aside. Sheppard wasn't ready, not yet. His response told him that. Soon he would be and Richard would be there with the offer again.

~~O~~

Jennifer stood at John's bedside, one hand holding a large shopping bag and a box tucked under the other arm. His covers had been kicked off, and with his face relaxed in sleep, he looked peaceful even though she knew him to be one of the most troubled souls she'd ever met. His file said his very wealthy father, the CEO of a large international corporation, had died a few years before and he had a brother but they hadn't spoken in quite some time. She found that almost inconceivable. All she had was her dad, her mother's sister and a few cousins. If she never saw or spoke to them again it would almost kill her.

Setting the box in the chair, she reached into the bag and placed a paper tube, CD player and headphones on the table then pulled a battered CD case from her pocket. The man on the front, dressed all in black, carried a guitar and stood alone in the hallway of what looked like a recording studio. Turning it over, she went quickly down the song list. The first track, _I Won't Back Down_, a Tom Petty composition, played inside her head. The tone was slightly scratchy as if she were listening to a worn out recording. But was it a memory or something else?

_Well I know what'__s right, I got just one life_

_In a world that keeps on pushin__' me around_

_But I'__ll stand my ground, and I won't back down_

According to Ana he'd been out a while, and not wanting to be caught watching him sleep, she set the bag in the chair with the box and quickly left the room.

**San Francisco**

**Beltway Apartments**

Evan called Anthony on a pretext just to see if he was home. Now he was sitting on the sofa in his apartment, elbows resting on his knees trying to make himself do what he knew had to be done. A lock picking set, flashlight and several pairs of latex gloves were laid out in front of him so he wouldn't forget them. He was dressed casually in dull, forgettable colors.

Pushing to his feet, he gathered his things together and locked the door behind him. His car was that same sandstone color that was so popular now and would blend in with all the other cars in Anthony's neighborhood. He'd park a half-mile up the road and walk the rest of the way.

There were no worries that he'd be noticed. He knew his features were ordinary. Average height, average weight, average hair color. Average in every way. Well, except for his eyes. He'd taken their color for granted until he'd been told otherwise by more than one girlfriend. To him they were just his eyes. Two little blue orbs that allowed him to see the world and its myriad of good and evil. He didn't know if what was going on with his partner was good or evil, but he intended to find out.

Pulling to a stop, he shut the car off, got out and locked it. The flashlight, lock pick kit and gloves he shoved into the pockets of his jacket and checked the time. When he'd called before, Anthony had told him he was in Oakland visiting his mother. He always stayed for dinner so Evan had at least three hours before he was expected home. _Plenty of time._

**Area 52**

**Infirmary**

When the door closed, John cracked one eye just enough to make sure Jennifer was gone. Using the bed controls, he raised the head so he could reach the things she'd left on the table. Unrolling the tube he found it to be his Johnny Cash poster, the only thing he'd kept when he'd resigned the force. The CD was the one from his car. It was also the only CD he owned. He opened the player, popped the silver disc in and pressed play. The intro of the first song had already started by the time he got the earbuds in place.

As the song ended he noticed the bag in the chair. It had the name of a mid-priced clothing store, the sides bulging from the contents.

Shutting off the player, he reached between the bars, located the release button and let the rail down. Swinging his legs over the side he dragged the chair closer. Digging into the contents he found three pairs of jeans, three button front shirts and a jacket. Down in the bottom were several pairs of boxers in weird colors with silly sayings on them, a belt and a package each of black T-shirts and thick socks. The box contained a pair of black New Balance sneakers. Checking the tags he found everything was the correct size. And brand new.

He looked at the clothing spread over the bed with the tags still attached. It had been years since he'd had new clothes. Everything he owned came from a thrift store. The thought that anyone in this world cared enough to go out and actually spend time picking out these items just for him caused something within him to change. It wasn't a big change but a change nonetheless. Being so out of touch with his emotions for so long, he had no idea how to describe a feeling as foreign to him as the Wraith locked up somewhere in this building.

Tossing the clothes on the chair, he got back into bed and let the head down again. Turning on his side facing away from the door, he tucked one hand under his head and let the other keep hold of the top edge of the sheet he'd pulled up to his neck. He wanted to sleep until the empty yesterdays returned, until his life went back to the way it was before yet knowing that nothing would ever be the same again. And all because one person had shown him kindness without wanting anything in return.

_Don't know that I will, but until, love can find me  
And the girl who'll stay, and won't play games behind me.  
I'll be what I am, a solitary man, a __solitary man, a solitary man._

~~O~~

Melissa stopped outside David's office, checked her face in the small mirror she'd taken from her purse then pulled the elastic from her hair, shaking it loose so it fell in waves around her shoulders. Next, she unbuttoned the top button of her blouse, pulled her shoulders back, pasted on a big smile and knocked.

"Come in."

"Hi," Melissa said brightly. "Ready to go?"

Distractedly, David looked up at her then back to his computer. "Just about. Have a seat. I'll be done in a minute."

Instead of sitting, Melissa roamed over to look at the books on the shelf to the right of the door. Most of them were hardbacks, original editions by authors she'd never heard of. From the corner of her eye she watched him work. She wasn't anyone special, just a computer tech who assisted Dr. McKay and Zelenka when they were on Earth and checked over other people's reports for factual and grammatical errors not caught by the spellcheck the rest of the time. Except for the report he was working on now, the one about their mysterious new guest, Detective Sheppard. He refused to let anyone see it.

She knew he didn't like the man though he'd never said why. Their last date he'd spent over an hour complaining about wasting time and resources on someone like him. What he meant by that she wasn't sure. She'd passed Sheppard in the hall a few times, had even been there the day he met Dr. Adams. Personally, she found him very handsome in a rugged and enigmatic way. Not the kind of guy _she_ usually attracted, but then neither was David.

Turning when she heard his computer shut down, she watched him carefully lock his desk and the credenza behind it. Out in the hall, he closed his door and gestured for her to go ahead of him. When they reached the parking lot, they got into their cars and she followed him into town. They had dinner at a moderately priced restaurant then went back to her place.

Three hours later, she kissed him good-bye and went back to her empty bed.

~~O~~

Ana no longer stayed at Sheppard's side though she still watched him on the monitor at the station down the hall. He knew he was being watched and she knew he knew, but they didn't mention it. Physically, he wasn't completely out of the woods. They were pumping him full of antibiotics to prevent infection and pain killers as well as treating the radiation exposure. Oh, he'd get better, and it would take a few weeks, but at least he _would_ get better thanks to General Carter and the Goa'uld healing device.

On the monitor, he was facing away from the camera. She'd taken a tray in, but it sat untouched. She knew it wasn't because he didn't get what he wanted. His body wasn't ready for burgers and fries, especially not from the Commissary.

No, the reason for his refusal to eat was psychological, if she didn't miss her guess. And it didn't take a shrink to make the connection between Jennifer's gifts and what was happening, or rather not happening in front of her.

Going to the workstation, Ana opened Sheppard's medical file and made notes. She paused only a fraction of a second before typing the last line…

"…_it is my recommendation that Detective Sheppard begin his sessions with Dr. Adams as soon as possible._"

**San Francisco**

**North of the City**

James Anthony drove north out of the city to a new subdivision, turned onto the first street and parked in front of the last house on the block. The lights were only on in the first floor windows as he made his way along the straight concrete sidewalk. He rapped his knuckles on the front door and was admitted. There was furniture in the living room, plain and new, as if it had come with the house. Following the man who had opened the door, he was led to a room in the rear. The windows were covered in such a way that Anthony knew not a spec of light could be seen from the outside.

The room was filled with equipment that part of him had never seen before. Another part of him recognized each and every component, had even used it on many occasions.

A figure sat in a leather office chair, her back to the door. Without turning she said, "You're late."

Anthony bowed his head respectfully though he couldn't be seen. Somehow she would know. "I am at your command, my lady." Traditionally, all system lords were referred to as "my lord," but this one was different. Both the host and the symbiote were female and "they" preferred the feminine mode of address. As she was their leader, he would do as he was told just as the others did.

**Las Vegas**

**Summerlin Subdivision**

**The Next Morning**

Going to her closet, Tish took out a skirt and jacket and tossed them on the bed along with a matching silk blouse. From the bottom of the closet, she grabbed her favorite pair of heels. Underclothes sailed through the air to land on the bed as well. She sat down at the vanity, picked up the bottle of foundation and got to work.

Her make-up applied, she went to the bathroom and unwrapped the towel around her damp waist-length black hair. Running a wide-toothed comb through the strands to get rid of the tangles, she squirted mousse into her palm, rubbed both hands together and ran them through her hair down to the ends. A few minutes with the hair dryer and brush and her natural waves were stick straight. A quick jiggle of the dryer at her bangs left them looking as if the wind had blown them out of place just a little while leaving the rest of her hair untouched.

Her fiancé had once told her she looked like a taller version of Paget Brewster. She'd looked the actress up and found he hadn't been lying _or_ delusional. Except for height and eye color, they could have been sisters. Their birthdays were even the same month. Paget was a few years older, though she didn't look it.

Well, he wasn't exactly her fiancé _yet_. But soon, even if _she_ had to do the asking.

As she dressed, she mentally went over the file for her newest patient. Sheppard, John T. Ex-Air Force pilot, ex-cop, savior of the world, cynical, resents authority, questionable ethics, blah, blah, blah. _Been there, done that_. Most of the staff at Area 52, Area 51, the SGC and Atlantis could be described that way. Hell, most of the staff had dossiers that went back to college, some to high school, and in McKay's case, to grade school.

The only exception to that rule was Senior Master Sergeant Walter Harriman USAF. Despite all that had he'd done and witnessed as a member of the SGC, the man was strangely happy and well adjusted. Shaking her head, she went back to the original subject: Sheppard.

**San Francisco**

**Eureka Valley Subdivision**

Hands in his pockets, Evan ambled down the sidewalk on Anthony's street careful not to pay attention to any one house. When he reached the corner, he turned right until he got to the alley. He stopped to retie his shoes, giving a cursory glance around as if he were bored with his walk.

Slipping down the alley, he made his way to the back gate of his partner's home. The latch was padlocked and he knew there were no alarms, motion-activated lights or snarling, slavering, noisy attack dogs so he chose to scale the fence. He grasped the top rail almost two feet above his head, hoisted himself up, hooked his right foot over the top, followed with the left foot and landed solidly with both feet on the soft grass. Dusting his hands on the back of his pants, he crossed to the back door.

Crouching close to the lock, he slipped gloves on then took the lock pick kit from his pocket. He flicked on the mini flashlight and clamped it in his teeth so he could see in the fading light. In less than a minute, he had the door open. The alarm began blaring and Evan rushed to shut it off, mentally crossing his fingers that the code hadn't been changed or he'd have to make tracks. Not a problem. His years of playing football in high school and college as well as his frequent runs around his neighborhood made him fast and light on his feet.

He tapped in the code and the alarms shut off. Breathing a sigh of relief, he flicked the light around to get his bearings.

_Where should I start? _He settled on the computer room.

Careful to keep the light's beam away from the window, he first searched the file cabinets, drawers and closets turning up nothing worth worrying about, not even a stash of girlie magazines or porn DVD's. The laptop computer was open but the screen was dark. Didn't matter. He had no idea how to go about hacking a password if it turned out to be protected. After organizing his thoughts and glancing at the clock on the desk, he decided that searching the rest of the house was the best use of the time he had left.

Best case, Anthony would be gone at least another ninety minutes. Worst case…

He'd just reached for the doorknob when he heard the sound of a vehicle pulling into the drive. It might have been the house next door but he couldn't be sure without leaving his hiding place because, unfortunately, there was no line of sight to the living room windows.

He shut off the flashlight and shoved it into his back pocket, waiting impatiently for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. A key in the front door confirmed Anthony was home early. The door opened, closed, and slow deliberate footsteps crossed the living room and started down the hall in his direction.

**TBC**


	5. A Journey, Not a Destination

**A/N: **As always, many thanks go out to ladygris for her help with this story. She is very patient about emails, Beta requests and random thoughts sent her way during the day as they occur. God has blessed me with her and her spouse, Lithane as friends.

BTW I poke a little fun at my friend and birthday bud, LoneRanger1 in this chapter.

Gracias and Namaste,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 5**

**A Journey, Not a Destination**

Evan quickly calculated his odds for getting out without being seen, but the numbers didn't add up in his favor. Forcing himself to breathe slowly and quietly, he felt along the wall until he reached the closet. Careful to avoid the suitcases, golf clubs and other random bits and pieces of life, he eased into the back behind the garment bags just as the door was pushed open. The light came on, the sound of a drawer being opened, rooting around, throat clearing in that odd cadence his partner made then the light went out and the door was pulled shut again.

He forced himself breath normally for about two minutes, listening hard. The footsteps went down the hall to where he knew the bedrooms to be. Shifting to adjust his feet, he stepped on a slight bump in the carpeting. When he eased his weight down on it, a panel opened up in the wall behind him. Flicking on the flashlight and shielding it with his body, he looked inside and found several different items, all very odd looking with a matte metallic surface and designs etched into them that looked like they might be a language though not one he'd ever seen before. They were all small enough to fit in one hand. His gloves were still on so he chanced picking them up, turning them over and over, not finding the manufacturer's name.

Replacing them on the shelf in the exact same positions, he put the light out again and stepped on the bump to close the panel. Out in the hall, he heard his partner talking on the phone. His voice had that deep echoing quality again. _That is __really__ creepin' me out!_

Careful not to make any noise, Evan went to the door and peeked through the crack. Anthony was facing the mirror on the opposite wall, the phone to his left ear.

"Yes, the preparations are going well. By the time the peace conference is concluded, our plan will be in motion. Soon we will be in control of the richest source of hosts ever to be found, Earth." There was a pause while he listened. "I know we have tried many times before and been thwarted at every turn by the SGC. That will not happen this time. Jendayi has been in hiding for many years, intergrating herself into the political structure of this country. And no one will suspect a lowly Sergeant in the local police force of being a Goa'uld." Another pause. "Do not worry. We have provided for every eventuality."

When he ended the call a moment later, Evan's stomach fell to his feet. Anthony's eyes glowed and his head bowed as if in prayer. He took a breath, lifted his head again and entered the bathroom. Evan waited for the shower to come on and when it did, he took that as his cue to leave.

It was full night when he got back to his car. The gloves came off and he turned on the overhead light while he searched for paper and a pencil. Finding both in the glove compartment, he sketched the strange objects he'd seen then put on his seatbelt and started the car.

He took out his cell phone and talked as he drove. A buddy from his Air Force days was stationed in Colorado Springs. He gave him a call to ask a favor. Rather than wait until he got home, he stopped at an office supply store and faxed the sketches to his friend.

As he came out, his stomach grumbled letting him know he was neglecting his responsibilities to keep it well-fed and happy. Pulling into the nearest fast food franchise, he ordered the number six combo with the upsize. The fries were all gone by the time he got home and the burger was a little cold by then, but he ate it anyway. He got out of his clothes, took a shower, dressed for bed and lay there a long time thinking about everything he'd seen and heard tonight.

Sitting up, he grabbed his cell from the bedside table hitting the speed dial keyed to his supervisor's number. "Sergeant Lorne here, sir. Do you still need volunteers to work the peace conference?"

**Atlantis**

**Pegasus**

Jennifer stepped through the Stargate into the Gate Room of Atlantis and took a deep breath. Amanda Cole was there to welcome her home and get her caught up on what had happened while she was gone. It was the same old thing. Caldwell's team had been in the Infirmary twice in one week, Teldy's team had been taken captive and had to be rescued-third time in five months, and Elizabeth had negotiated a treaty with new allies. The only thing different was the Wraith. They'd been strangely quiet the last few weeks while she, Rodney, Radek and the others were on Earth.

Naturally, that brought her around to John and the strange attraction she felt for him. Every time she was close to him, her composure decided it needed a break and took off without leaving a forwarding address. That's why she'd come home, to put distance between them. Most people would just avoid that person, change jobs or move to another city. _She_ came to another _galaxy_.

Thankfully, work took her mind off her troubles for a while. But always there, in the back of her mind, lingered a pair of hazel eyes and a crooked smile she didn't see enough of.

**Area 52**

**Two Days Later**

Derek finished checking John's pupil reactions, clicked off the penlight and stuck it in his breast pocket. Next he probed the area under John's jaws around to the sides of his neck. Letting the rail down, he asked John to sit on the side of the bed while he tested the deep tendon reflexes. All were good and John made no comments until Derek wanted to check his gag reflex. He held the wooden tongue depressor ready to employ it, but John just stared at him. "Open please."

For an answer, John snatched the thin piece of wood from Derek's hand, broke it in half and dropped the pieces on the floor. Crossing his arms defiantly, John continued to stare.

"O-kay. We don't really need to do that one." He put the earpieces of his stethoscope in his ears. "Lift your shirt, please." John did as he was told, grudgingly it seemed. Pressing the diaphragm to his patient's chest, Derek said, "Deep breath in…and out. In…and out. Once more please." Reaching up under the back of the scrub top, Derek preformed the same task. "Lungs sound good."

"Gee, _thanks_."

The amount of sarcasm and snappishness in just that one word gave Derek mental pause though he didn't halt his work. John had reached the next stage of his recovery: anger and depression. And a little surliness went a long way, especially with him. The night nurse, Dora, had notated that he'd refused to let her adjust his pillow or bedclothes for him though he'd been more than happy to allow it before. She'd whispered "fine" under her breath, and left the room when he'd ordered her out. It hadn't been a big deal as he was no longer in critical condition so she'd gone back to the station to keep watch on the monitor.

When the sun came up, she'd gone in for one more check of her patient and found he was already awake. Or rather _still_ awake. Again he refused to eat though Dora had ordered the food anyway. She set the tray in front of him and walked away. John uttered an oath and she found herself ducking when he hurled a container of juice at the wall. Even in his weakened state, he still retained a fair amount of strength. The box had burst raining orange juice over a ten foot square area, some of it going in her hair. When Derek had come in, the poor girl was just finishing the clean-up and muttering something about not getting paid enough.

"Please lie down, Detective. I need to examine your wounds."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

Putting emphasis on each word, John glared at the doctor. "I said _no_. No more _tests_. No blood. No urine. No spit. No poking. No prodding. No needles. _Nothing._ Just leave me the hell _alone!_" He threw himself down on the bed, facing away from the door and from the camera. When Derek reached over to raise the rail according to procedure, John's voice held a warning, "Leave it down or I _will_ hurt you."

Hands up palms facing out, Derek left the room. After he was gone, John slipped his hand under the pillow and pulled out the pendant. Turning it over, he read the inscription he knew better than his own name. His hand closed around it as he lay there trying not to think about the twelve lives that had ended because of him. Thirteen, counting his own. But he couldn't. They haunted his dreams every night.

_To Caitlin _

_Happy 16__th_

_Love, Mom & Dad_

~~O~~

The guards at the entrance to Area 52 watched the solid black Viper with tinted windows coming toward them way faster than it should have on the access road. They didn't even bat an eye when it skidded to a stop just one inch from the barrier. Three heavily armed men in khaki camouflage approached the car, one at each front window and one at the back. Both windows buzzed down and the occupant produced her ID with one hand while the other popped the trunk.

"How's it hangin', boys?" Tish said to the men with a musical lilt to her voice.

"Same as always, ma'am." Holding his automatic weapon at the ready, Guard One gave her a small smile. "Short, shriveled and a little to the left." He waited while she got out of the car then held out a bioscanner as she pressed her right palm on the surface and her thumb into the recess provided. The bioscanner checked handprints, biosignatures, DNA and for the presence of naqahdah in the bloodstream, comparing it to the records in the database for that particular person from the most recent "clean" scan.

Guard Two checked the car's interior then came around to run a scanner over her body. Guard Three searched the trunk then walked all the way around the vehicle with a hand-held scanner. All clear. He nodded to the first guard.

Her wry grin made her eyes sparkle. "Nothin' much changes around here, does it, Sarge?"

"No, ma'am. And that's just the way we like it." The scanner beeped and Guard One checked the results. "Looks like you're you, Dr. Adams. No snakes in your head and you're not a clone."

She sighed in exaggerated relief and grinned as she got back into the driver's seat. "Thanks. I was just the _teeniest_ bit worried after my stay in Toronto."

"Yes, ma'am." He signaled, the gates opened and she drove through, again skidding to a stop in her assigned parking space. Swinging her legs out, she pulled off her sneakers and put on the heels from the passenger seat. She stood, swung her purse over her shoulder, smoothed her skirt down over her hips then closed and locked the car before entering the building.

~~O~~

When Tish was gone, the guys gathered together and kept watching the back of her car. Guard One, a First Sergeant of the Marines, glanced at the man to his left. "Are you _sure_ you saw what you think you saw?"

The man, a Corporal and a little shorter than his superior, was nodding vigorously. "Absolutely, Sarge. She was sittin' on his desk, her legs wrapped around him, ankles crossed in back, her hands all up in his hair, and she was kissin' the livin' _daylights_ outa him. I mean, they were so close together, I bet he could tell if she has an innie or an outie right through their clothes."

Guard Three looked at Guard Two, completely dumfounded. "Man! He is one _lucky_ SOB."

"Yeah." With a sigh, Guard One signaled them back to their duties.

~~O~~

For the past few days, John had been watching videos provided by Woolsey. The first set had been made by Dr. Daniel Jackson, an archaeologist, and later by Lieutenant Colonel Charles Kowalski. The orientation videos explained the history of the Stargate program beginning with its discovery on a dig in Giza in 1928. The first Earth human to use it was Dr. Ernest Littlefield in 1945. He was never seen again.

In spite of his circumstances, he'd found himself intrigued and had watched avidly when not sleeping or being poked, prodded and fussed over by doctors and nurses, aggravated by the likes of Magee or flirted with by random women he met in the hall. Though he had to admit he'd gotten quite a kick out of the incident with McKay and Carter. Then there was the beautiful doctor, the angel who blushed so adorably. _Adorable? What the hell's wrong with me? I haven't used that word since…_

**Afghanistan**

**2004**

_John had never felt so calm and relaxed. And it had everything to do with the woman cuddled against his side, his arm around her shoulders. He wasn't talking about the sex. Well, not __just__ the sex. That was part of it but not the whole picture._

_He let his fingertips gently brush back and forth on her upper arm below the edge of her tan tank top making her sigh. Her legs were curled under, one knee resting on top of his thigh, his legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. Content to stay just like this as long as he could, he was a little annoyed when she sat up forcing him to remove his arm._

"_John, I need you to do something for me."_

"_Sure. Wanna do it here or should we go to __your__ tent?" He winced when she punched his arm. "Ow!"_

"_Big baby!" She giggled then became serious again. Removing the pendant he'd never seen her without, she held it in the palm of her hand for a moment. "My squad is headed out tomorrow. We'll be gone over a month in an area of heavy fighting. If something should happen to me…"_

"_It won't."_

"_I know. My guys take good care of me. But if it does, I want you to give this to my parents. Tell them I missed them every day and that I love them."_

"_Cait…" he didn't want to talk, to think about this, about the fact that every minute they were in this place could be their last._

"_John, please." She got up and walked to the table that served as a desk. The rustle of bedclothes and the thump of his feet on the floor preceded his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. His hands moved down and around her waist. She turned within the circle of his embrace, reaching up to touch his cheeks. "Promise me." Feeling his reluctance, she forced him to look at her. His shoulders had stiffened at the contact, but now slumped in reluctant agreement._

"_How can I resist that adorable smile?" He leaned down and planted a quick kiss on her lips then she let her head rest on his shoulder. "Now, about that __other__ request…"_

~~O~~

Tish followed the main hall until she came to the door marked "R. Woolsey, Director of Operations." After a perfunctory knock, she entered leaving the door open. "Mornin'."

Woolsey was behind his desk tapping away at his computer. "Good morning." A slip of paper fluttered to the desk and she turned to go, stopping when she heard an exhale of amused irritation. "Again?"

"Sorry, Dickie Darling. I was on the way back from…"

He raised a hand to stop her explanation. "Say no more. What is it, three years?"

She nodded, her long dark hair swinging forward over her shoulders. "As least Mystique didn't _cry_ the entire time like the last two years."

"I'm glad." His brown eyes watched her musingly, his lips turning up in a small smile. "Thanks for coming back."

"Not a problem. I was getting bored traveling all over North America, influencing young, impressionable minds and staying in five-star hotels in exotic places like Maui, Vancouver, Palo Alto and Cedar Hill, Texas." Her tone was playful as she gave him a grin before shutting the door quietly behind her.

Her first stop was the Commissary. She picked up the coffee pot, sniffed the contents and shrugged as she filled the sustainable coffee mug she'd taken from her purse. On her way out, she grabbed one of the sandwiches leftover from the night shift and an apple, taking a crunchy bite as she headed for her office.

~~O~~

Richard stared at the closed door, shaking his head as he picked up the speeding ticket. His eyes widened at the speed she'd been going when the cop stopped her and set the ticket aside so he'd remember to call his contact in the department.

Hands stilled on the keys of his computer, he remembered the first time he'd seen her. She'd had her hair up in a twist, no make-up, flat shoes, slacks and a long sleeved top, all in black like her hair. A bright yellow pencil, the only hint of color, had been stuck in her twist.

Her smile at meeting him had been bright, spontaneous and sincere. Unlike most people who assessed him based on his reputation or what they'd been told, she seemed to make no judgments. Eventually, he found out that that was exactly the case. She didn't judge, just let you be you and with the occasional well-placed word of encouragement, offer to be a sounding board or probing question managed to slowly change you into the person you wanted to be, were meant to be. And that, among other things, is what he liked most about her. It was the main reason he'd hired her as the facility's staff psychologist. He went back to work with a smile on his face.

~~O~~

"_Please_, Detective Sheppard." Ana stood beside John's bed with the phlebotomy kit. Derek had ordered blood drawn for tests but the patient wasn't cooperating. The tech had already been in and he'd sent the man away with a few well-chosen words. She'd dealt with stubborn men at the SGC, but this one took the whole damn bakery!

"No! And stop _calling_ me that! I'm _not_ a detective anymore." His was sitting up in bed, arms crossed and chin lifted in defiance.

Ana huffed loudly, not caring if he knew she was irritated. "Fine! What _should_ I call you?"

"A freakin' _cab_ so I can get out of here."

"Sure. No problem." She turned for the door then came back. "Just out of curiosity, where would you _go?_"

That took some of the wind out of his sails, but just a little. "Haven't figured that part out yet." He pushed the table away with a hard shove and it rolled into the middle of the room. They left the rail down on one side even though it was policy for it to be kept up when the bed was occupied. Before she could stop him, he threw the covers off and swung his legs over the side. "If you won't get me a cab, I'll walk."

Pressing his knuckles into the mattress on either side of his hips, he got to his feet and took two steps before his legs gave out. Ana dropped the kit on the chair and managed to catch him under the arms. His hands gripped her upper arms as she levered him back onto the bed. "Let that be a lesson to you, Detective. You've been on bed rest for a while now. Add that to the gunshot wounds, concussion, surgery and lack of food and it means you don't go anywhere without help." She snagged the kit from the chair again. "Now, about that blood sample…"

"The answer is still _no_. And I want _my_ doctor."

"You don't _have_ a primary care physician any more. You lost that when you quit your job. And he probably wouldn't have clearance."

"I mean Ang…_Keller_. Until I see her, you're not gettin' squat."

**Atlantis Infirmary**

Jennifer finished tying off the last stitch on Ronon's forehead, covered it and sent him on his way with one eyebrow lifted in reprimand, which he ignored now as he had in the past. She disposed of the soiled gauze and wrappings and was just pulling her gloves off when Amanda joined her.

"Jen, there's a priority message from Dr. Slater."

"Oh?"

The right side of her mouth curled. "Yeah. That hunky detective they've got in Area 52 is asking for you."

Jennifer couldn't help the blush that stained her cheeks pink. "Um, w-w-why would he want to see _me?_"

"Aside from the fact that you blush and get all tongue-tied whenever he's mentioned, you tell me." Amanda looped her arm through Jennifer's and drew her to the Infirmary exit. "You're expected immediately so pack and get out of here. Carson, Cedric and I can handle things while you're gone."

"But…"

Amanda adopted a mock stern expression, pointing down the hall. "Go."

**San Francisco**

**North of the City**

The chair in front of the computer swung around and the woman in the seat smiled evilly. "Everything is in place?"

"Yes, Jendayi. My host has been accepted as part of the local security force for the peace conference. He will see to it that everything goes as planned." With a smile that mirrored the system lord's, the man who was once James Anthony bowed. "There will be an orientation gathering today where we will be given the specifics of the conference and our assignments. I must go in order to arrive on time."

"Then do so and report back using the secure line."

Again, Anthony bowed. "Yes, my lady."

**Area 52**

**Infirmary**

"I said _no!_ Now leave me the hell _alone!_"

Jennifer entered the ward just in time to see the CD player fly through the air and smash against the wall. Without changing her expression, she looked at it then turned to face John who was still glaring at Ana and Derek. "Hmm. Not as aerodynamic as I thought."

"What do _you_ want?"

Funny, he didn't _sound_ happy to see her. Keeping her distance so his nearness wouldn't disturb her train of thought, she pulled on her me-doctor-you-patient mask. "There's a rumor going around that you've been a bad boy, Detective."

"News flash, doc. It's _not_ a rumor." His entire demeanor was one of irate stubbornness.

"You know, far be it for me to point this out, Detective, but by not cooperating, you run not only the risk of delaying your recovery, but also having Mr. Woolsey change his mind about letting you do it here." She almost took a step back at the acrimony in his words.

"Big f***ing deal! I never asked _you_ or anyone else to save my life! Why didn't you just leave me in the desert to _die?_ We'd've all been better off."

Jennifer wanted to cry at his last statement. He needed someone to be a friend but also have a firm hand while handling him. _If that's what it takes…_ Stepping up to his bedside, she rested one hand the bed near his pillow. "I'm sorry you see so little value in your continued existence, John…" she deliberately used his first name, "…but obviously Rodney and Mr. Woolsey _do_ or you wouldn't be here." When he tried to speak, she cut him off by taking his hand, surprised when he gripped it back. In that moment, their eyes connected and within the depths of those hazel orbs she could see the real fear that he tried to keep hidden, had kept hidden for years, possibly decades. "Ana's going to take some blood and afterwards, she'll get you a tray. Eat _every bite_ no matter _what_ it tastes like."

"And if I don't?"

She shrugged. "Up to you. But remember, you have no job, no home and no money. As they say, do the math." She watched him think it over and accept the terms. "That's better. I'll be back to check on you every couple of days so you don't have to send for me.

"Oh, and the physical therapist will be around to help you shower and change then he'll take you for a walk. His name is Sonny and he used to be a professional wrestler." She released his hand though he kept hold for another couple of seconds. "Don't upset him or he'll demonstrate his flying crossbody." Bending down, she picked up the pieces of the CD player.

"And what about you, Angel?"

"What about me what?"

"Do _you_ see any value in my continued existence?"

_Damn!_ She'd almost gotten away. "I'm a doctor. All life has value." His face took on a smirk her fingers itched to slap off.

"That's _not_ what I asked."

"Well, that's the only answer you're getting." Indicating the broken CD player, she added, "I'll see if Rodney or Radek can fix this."

~~O~~

John had eaten his first meal in more than twenty-four hours by the time Sonny had come in to take him for a shower and a fresh set of scrubs. Now he and Sonny were walking the length of the hall. He'd tried it on his own, but just like earlier with Ana, he'd almost fallen. So here he was, one hand on the rail, Sonny beside him, one meaty hand holding tight to the safety belt as they slowly made the return trip to the wheelchair.

"How about you let me try the last couple of feet alone?"

"Sure. It's no skin offa _my_ nose if ya break yer neck." Despite the way he talked, Sonny was intelligent and very knowledgeable about his job. And strong!

"Thanks. Just don't tell Keller."

"Not a word."

Though his thighs and calves were shaking from the effort, John managed to take three steps on his own. However, when he brought his foot down on the next step, his leg gave way and he fell face first to the carpet just inches before it turned into tile. Over the sound of Sonny's laughter, he heard the click, click of high heels coming to a stop in front of him. Getting his hands under his shoulders preparing to rise, he looked up to see a pair of four-inch strappy black leather stilettos. The toes peeking out at him wiggled startling him. He'd only gotten as far as her ankles when a female voice filled with amusement floated down from above.

"If I had a _nickel_ for every time a man has thrown himself at my feet…"

**TBC**


	6. To Know and Always Wonder

**A/N:** Once again, thanks to ladygris for all her help with this story. She patiently Beta'd and fielded ideas until it all came together. Sort of like Jell-O. LOL

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 6**

**To Know and Always Wonder**

Jennifer hoisted her duffel onto her shoulder and waited patiently for the _Daedalus_ to pick her up and drop her at the SGC. She'd done it! She'd spent time in John's presence, even touched him and had still been able to speak like a normal person. Proud of herself, she reached her right hand across her chest and patted her own back.

"_Daedalus_ is ready to receive you, ma'am."

"Thanks." A moment later she was in orbit and a moment after that she was inside the SGC.

"Hello, Dr. Keller." Walter's voice came over the PA.

"Hi, Walter. Could you please dial Atlantis?" Jennifer walked to the end of the ramp and waited. When the dialing didn't begin, she turned to look up at the Sergeant and saw he was talking to himself. Not really, but that's what it looked like.

"Ma'am, General Carter and Dr. McKay would like to see you in her office."

"Of course."

At the top of the stairs, Jennifer went to the office door, her hand raised to knock when she saw Rodney pacing past the window, one hand on his hip, the other pressed to his forehead. He was more worried than she'd ever seen him. She could hear his and Sam's voices but not what they were saying. Instead of the door, she rapped on the window and waved. Seconds later the door opened, he dragged her inside and it was slammed again.

Sam was behind her desk, sitting forward with her hands folded in front of her, Rodney shifting his feet nervously.

"What's up, guys?"

Her best friend gestured at his wife. "Can you explain THIS?" He was pointing at Sam who stood up showing her belly was now much larger than it had been just a few days ago. So much so that now she appeared to be in her sixth month rather than just into her fifth.

Through her shock, Jennifer found the ability to grin wryly. "Well, Rodney, when a man and a woman love each other…"

He snorted so hard it was almost a growl. "I _know_ that! I _meant_ she's not supposed to be _that_ big, is she?"

Sam's indignation surged. "Thanks!"

"You _know_ what I mean!"

Handing her duffel to Rodney, Jennifer moved over to Sam. "Uh, do you mind?"

"Of course not." She sat down again and leaned back in her chair while Jennifer made a hands-on assessment. "Well?"

Her face pinched in thought, Jennifer continued to gently palpate Sam's abdomen until she received a double kick that went on for several seconds. "Oh!"

"Yeah." Sam's features changed to an amused frustration. "Once one starts kicking they both kick and it doesn't matter what _Mom's_ doing. Day before yesterday, they kicked _all night_."

"And _I_ was up with her. Um…and happy to do it, honey." Both women grinned at Rodney trying to backtrack. "The worst was when…"

"…when I was on a _video_ conference with General O'Neill and Mr. Coolidge this morning."

"Oh, _no_." The medical doctor couldn't help laughing.

"_They_ were not amused. I, uh, hadn't told them yet."

Smiling in sympathy, Jennifer straightened. "What did Caroline say?"

"She's doing tests and research. Isn't there something _you_ can do?" Rodney's interjection was laced with desperation.

"I'm not sure. In order to fix this…" she gestured helplessly at Sam, "…I would have to know _why_ the gestation appears to have sped up, why it's happening."

"_Appears?_" Rodney's voice ended on a squeak as he moved over to hold Sam's hand. "I'd say the evidence was pretty substantial."

"You're right, Rodney." Jennifer patted his shoulder. "I'm just…surprised."

"Yeah, well, we only found out we're gonna be parents three _days_ ago and now…" he gestured ta-dah as if he were a magician performing a complicated illusion, "…this."

"So, ideas? Suggestions?" Sam was gripping tight to her husband's hand.

Jennifer picked up her duffel and slung it over her shoulder again. "Don't take too long to pick out names or get the nursery ready. In the meantime, I need to get back to Atlantis. While I'm there, I'll go through the Ancient medical database to see if there're any instances of accelerated gestation and what the cause or causes were. Carolyn and I will exchange information and see what happens when we have two medical units working on it."

Rodney walked her to the door. "Sorry to be so much trouble."

"No trouble. I'll be back in a couple days." Her lips pursed in annoyance at herself. "I need to check in on Detective Sheppard." At Sam's knowing smile, she pointed her finger and adopted a stern expression. "Not a word!" Then she was gone.

~~O~~

"You must be Detective Sheppard." The voice coming from somewhere above John held a throaty tone slightly deeper than the average female.

He raised his upper body, got first one knee then the other under him until he was on his hands and knees. A brief moment of dizziness overcame him as Sonny grabbed him around the waist and brought him quickly to his feet. All while he was moving upright, his eyes skimmed the body of the woman standing in front of him. As a detective, he was a trained observer, and he observed _every_ inch of her.

Her legs were bare and above her left ankle was a small tattoo that looked like a submarine. Her calves were slim, transitioning perfectly up to her knees and from there to the lower part of her thighs.

She wore a black pencil skirt that ended just at mid-thigh. Her waist was slim, twenty-six inches at most. He kept going and saw a black silk blouse with black faux-metal buttons, the top two undone to show a small amount of cleavage. The bones of her clavicles stood out enhancing the area below her chin and drawing the eye to the indention at the bottom of her throat.

And her lips. They were dark rose with just a hint of shine and pursed as if she'd just kissed someone or had been sipping from a straw.

Next up was her long black hair. It was straight and loose with strands hanging over her shoulders down to her waist, the ends moving with every breath she took. The feathery bangs just barely touched her eyebrows, one of which was lifted cheekily in his direction.

But the most captivating thing about this woman was her eyes. John had _never_ seen violet eyes before. And hers were big, round and twinkling with humor. He had the idea that it wasn't just _him_ she found amusing though he'd no doubt she did, but life in general. Those amazing eyes were highlighted with artfully applied black eye shadow, liner and mascara. Aside from her eyes, the only other spot of color came at the outer corners where a quarter inch of the top and bottom lids were lined in green with little silver sparkles.

The hands planted firmly on her hips had long nails with French tips in violet and white curlicues. One hip was thrust out to the side with all her weight on that foot.

When John reached the top of her head, he saw two things. First that she had a pair of enormous dark sunglasses perched on her crown. The second was that he had to look _up_ slightly to see all of her. He could only remember a handful of times that he'd met a woman taller than his six-feet. Most of them were dancers in shows on the strip and naturally didn't count the headdresses.

Without thinking, John said the first thing that came to mind. "Wow! Those legs go all the way up?"

Tish removed her right hand from her hip, indicating a spot just under her chin and John was relieved to see that she hadn't taken offense at his words. That same hand was extended. "Dr. Morticia Adams. One D, not two. Insert your laugh here."

John was doing his best NOT to laugh though some of it came through, if her smirk was any indication. "That's an, uh, unusual name."

"Yeah, well, I'm an unusual woman."

_No kidding!_ "Nice to meet you, doc." Her grip was strong, but not too much so. Somehow she knew just the right amount of pressure to use to appear confident and self-assured. Only with her, he just knew that it wasn't a pretense. She really was all that and more. He sensed that there were layers to this woman that only a few individuals had ever seen and wondered what he had to do to get to be one of the privileged.

"And you." Releasing his hand, she moved past him onto the carpeting. With a pat on his cheek, she said, "Our first session is 1600 today, boobala. Don't make me come after you."

When she passed out of his sight, Sonny helped him into the chair. "Promise?"

with a shadow of a grin, Sonny said, "Threat."

Under his breath, John murmured, "I was afraid of that."

**San Francisco**

**On a Secure Phone Line**

"…_and you're certain we can trust him?_" The voice on the phone sounded almost bored though the caller knew otherwise.

"Yes, sir. Lorne is the most honorable and trustworthy man I know." The speaker's voice left no room for doubt.

A pause. "_Okay._ _We'll pick him up. See what he knows and get back to you_."

The second voice sighed in relief. "Thank you, sir. You don't know how hard it's been not to tell him everything."

"_Oh, I think I do. Just keep the NDA in mind_."

"Yes, sir."

~~O~~

After completing his pre-workout warm-up, Evan took off at a slow and easy jog. About a mile or so out he would pick up speed until he hit his turnaround at three miles and slow down again alternating until he returned to his starting point. Running helped clear his mind and organize his thoughts until he could see a solution. Unfortunately, that didn't happen this time. Everything he heard and saw at Anthony's house flowed through his brain but he couldn't make sense of it. The questions came and went in no particular order. The glowing eyes, the change in his partner's voice, all the secretiveness, the plan to use the peace conference to take over the highest offices of the world's leaders. _What's a Goa'uld? What's a symbiote beyond the obvious reference? What are hosts? Why do they want to take over Earth? Where are they from? How many are there? How many are on Earth? How dangerous are they?_

He'd almost reached the turnaround when he heard an SUV pull to the curb and stop. That in itself was not unusual when you lived in the city. The weirdness came when three men in uniform stepped in front of him.

"Evan Lorne?"

Taking a sip from his water bottle, he made a quick assessment. The men were armed though no weapons were displayed. The senior officer was a Lieutenant General who watched him from behind dark aviators.

"Can I help you?"

The General gestured to the Major. "Evan Gabriel Lorne, former Captain in the USAF. You grew up in San Francisco, have one sister, widowed, and two nephews. Mother passed away three years ago, father died in service to his country in Beirut. Your current position is with the mounted patrol for the San Francisco PD. You took the Inspectors exam three weeks ago and are waiting to find out the results. Your car is paid off and you're saving up to buy a house in San Jose. At the rate you're going, you'll have twenty percent down payment within another three years. Your favorite food is burgers and fries with a chocolate shake, upsized."

Evan's face never changed expression all during the Major's recitation.

The General's sunglasses came off showing serious brown eyes. "General Jack O'Neill. Could we have a few minutes of your time?"

When a General in any branch of the military made a request in _that_ tone with _that_ look on his face, it meant you didn't really have a choice. If Evan wanted answers, this would be the way to get them. "Of course, sir." He gestured to himself. "Is there time for me to shower and change?"

"Ten minutes, Captain. We'll drive you."

~~O~~

O'Neill stood in the observation room at the San Francisco office of Homeworld Security, watching Colonel Paul Davis question Lorne. They'd taken turns asking questions but he stuck to his story. His greatest concern was the possibility that his partner was into something that could get him and lots of other people killed. And no matter how they phrased the questions the answers were always the same, in the same tone and the same level of non-emotion. O'Neill wasn't surprised. The man had been through one tour each in Iraq and Afghanistan before leaving the Air Force to return to college and from there to the police academy. Good cop, bad cop wouldn't work on him.

Lorne steadfastly refused to make any sort of judgment about Anthony's innocence or guilt without more evidence. In O'Neill's estimation, that made him not only a good soldier but an exceptional police officer.

He nodded and Lieutenant Velasquez went to the intercom. "Colonel."

Davis didn't respond except to excuse himself, leaving Lorne alone in the room.

Lorne had been offered drinks, candy, gum, chips, nuts. All were still sitting on the table untouched. When Davis joined O'Neill in the observation room, they just stood there together watching the monitor, arms crossed, not saying a word. After five minutes on his own, Lorne finally stood and came around the table so his back was to the camera. He opened a bag each of chips, nuts and M&Ms, dumping them on the table. They exchanged confused looks watching his arms move in no predictable pattern. Finally, Lorne moved away from the table so they could see he'd used the snacks to spell out…

_LET ME __HELP__!_

It was followed by a smiley face. He looked at his masterpiece walking around and around the table carrying a handful of Cheetos.

Davis' forehead crease with confusion. "'Let me help'? And what's he gonna do with the leftover Cheetos?"

The three watched the monitor as Lorne circled the table back to his former seat facing the camera, sat down, crossed one leg over the other, ate the Cheetos, cracked the seal on a water bottle, saluted the camera and took a long drink. O'Neill turned to Davis and just raised one eloquent eyebrow.

~~O~~

After Evan had spelled out his message, he sat down and waited for a response, counting the minutes in his head. When he got to four, the door opened. A perky young female Air Force Lieutenant stood there holding the door open. "Come with me please."

Looking over the top of her head, Evan realized that she was one of the shortest people, male or female, that he'd ever seen do service. Not that it was a bad thing. He knew better than to judge someone by their size. It was just odd, that's all. She opened another door and ushered him into an office where O'Neill was behind the desk and Davis was in one of the chairs facing it, a folder on the corner nearest him and another in front of O'Neill.

A look passed between the officers and Davis opened the folder in front of him, passing a stack of papers with different colored tabs sticking from the outer edge. "Sergeant Lorne, please take a few moments to read this through. If you agree to the terms therein, please initial, sign and date in the indicated places."

Without picking it up, Evan asked, "What is it?"

O'Neill spoke, one hand drumming on the desk while the elbow of the other rested on the arm of his chair, his head leaning on the fist. "It's a standard Non-Disclosure Agreement."

"Will signing this get me the answers I'm looking for?" Evan pulled the papers close enough to give them a cursory glance.

Davis shifted in his seat but didn't say anything. O'Neill dropped his foot to the floor and handed a pen across the desk. "Only one way to find out."

Evan looked from one to the other trying to read their faces. Whatever was going on, he wanted in on it. After a quick perusal of the pages he'd been given, he clicked the pen and with a few scratches on the paper, changed the entire course of his life.

**Area 52**

**1600 Hours**

**Dr. Adams' Office**

John was sulking as he rolled down the hall. He'd tried his best to get out of his first session with the shrink but there was a conspiracy going on around this place. Every time he wanted to do one thing, they made him do another, usually by threatening to tell Angel. _Argh! Keller. Her __name__ is __Keller__, not Angel._

That thought firmly in mind, he looked up when Ana stopped and knocked on a door. Unlike most of the offices, this one had a wood door instead of glass. She opened the door, turned the wheelchair and pulled him in backwards. "Here you go, Dr. Adams. One new patient, as requested. Careful. He can be a bit surly."

Ana had gotten as far as the door when John said, "Don't you wanna stay? Just for a little while?"

With a grin, Ana told him, "She doesn't _bite_, Detective."

He looked at Tish sitting behind her desk, pen clamped in her teeth while she tapped at the keyboard of her laptop. "You sure?"

"Very. Bye."

The door closed and John was alone with Tish. He turned the wheelchair to face her and found she was watching him with open childlike curiosity, the deep inner humor gone. "Thank you for coming, Detective."

"Look, can we drop the Detective business? I stopped being that person…well, I'm just not _him_ anymore."

"Oh? Then who are you?"

John looked up from where he was rubbing his hands together. "Isn't that what we're here to find out?"

"_You_ tell _me_." When John stayed quiet, she got up and went to a small 'fridge.

Handing him a bottle of water, she opened one for herself. After a few swallows, she seated herself across from him, crossing her legs and saw him looking at the tattoo. "It's a Trident submarine."

"Really?"

"Yes. It's a symbol of awesome power hidden deep within our dreams." At his blank stare, she cleared her throat. "Never mind. How about I make this easy on you and we just spend this session getting to know each other?"

"Probably not a good idea, doc. Familiarity breeds contempt. At least in my case."

"I prefer to get to know someone before I decide I don't like them." He didn't respond and his face had taken on an impassive expression. "Tell you what. We'll break protocol and I'll go first." She tapped her purple fingernails against the plastic bottle. "I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona…"

~~O~~

Back in the ward, John sat in the wheelchair thinking about the time he'd spent with the shrink. She'd been different from when they'd met in the hall. At that time, he'd almost been knocked over by a tsunami of sex appeal. She still in the short skirt, low-cut blouse, stilettos and Goth-like make-up, but this time the feeling was different. Even her voice was different. It was as if the woman in the hall was a mask she put on before she left the house and took off when she was alone, with a patient or when she got home at the end of the day.

By the end of their session, she'd managed to make him laugh for the first time in he couldn't remember how long. A real laugh, not the one he faked to be polite. Not that he'd done it that often. Being polite just wasn't one of his personality traits. At least it hadn't been in recent years. He remembered being happy, laughing every day and having _real_ fun. Not the imitation fun he had when he sat in on a poker game. But that was a long time ago.

He tried to think when he'd turned into the man he was now. It hadn't been an overnight change of course. And that meant he wouldn't be able to pinpoint the exact moment he'd become…this. And that led to the conclusion that Dr. Adams might be the one to help him figure it out. But did he want to? Not really. That could lead to all sorts of opportunities for, he mentally shivered, personal growth. He'd start shaving every day, wearing clean clothes, wanting to look nice for himself and for others, caring what people thought of him. Then there was the smiling. Not ironic or sardonic but because something or someone had caused him to feel true happiness.

It was night by the time Dora arrived with his dinner. Finally he was getting something closer to real food, if that's what they called this. A turkey and Swiss sandwich on whole grain bread with lettuce, tomato and deli mustard, a salad and Jell-O with milk to drink. Whatever!

Taking the remote from his bedside table, he started another of the DVDs about the Stargate program. These were the most interesting of all though the reason for Dr. Jackson being replaced was never given.

Colonel Kowalski was detailing the weapons and space vehicles that each alien race employed. Goa'uld, Ori, Wraith, Asurans, Genii, Jaffa, Tok'ra, which he gathered was sort of like a Goa'uld, but with very different philosophies, especially when it came to taking hosts, and many more.

John was trying to make sense of it all when he was suddenly overcome by fatigue. He shut off the video, turned the wheelchair around, locked the wheels and carefully moved himself onto the bed. At least he was making progress. He hadn't been able to move nearly this well a few days ago or even earlier today when he'd taken that tumble. It wasn't much of a victory, but a victory nonetheless and he would celebrate it…in the morning when he wasn't so tired.

Switching out the light, he lay in the dark until Dora came in with his meds. For once he took them without giving the girl a hard time. Even in the dim light he could see the puzzlement on her face when he just tossed the pills in his mouth and washed them down with water. Sleep came along and claimed him a few minutes later.

~~O~~

David rolled off of Melissa's naked body to sit on the side of the bed, waiting for his pulse and breathing to slow down and return to normal. He pushed a hand through his hair and almost jumped when Melissa hugged him from behind. She kissed his neck in that way she had that he disliked though he'd never bothered to tell her. He hadn't planned on sleeping with her other than the one time but she was willing and all he had to do was take her to dinner now and then. But now he was tired of her plain looks and that clingy way she had, always wanting him to stay the night. It was time to cut her loose. Besides, he preferred long-haired blondes, like Keller.

"Can't you stay just this once? Please?"

"No." He rolled his eyes at the whiny tone in her voice and pushed her away. Not hard but enough that she got the message. Reaching for his clothes, he went into the bathroom to dress. When he came out, she was wearing that ridiculous bathrobe with the cartoon characters on it waiting to walk him to the door just as she always did. When she tried to kiss him, he turned his head to the side. "It's been nice, Melissa, but this isn't going to work out."

"But…"

He stepped into the hall and closed the door before she could beg him to stay. And she would have. They all did once they knew who his father was. The elevator came and he took it to the lower level. Smoothing a hand through his hair again, he got into his car and pulled out of the parking garage.

_How can she live in an apartment? She makes enough money she could have a modest home at least._

As he pulled into traffic, he forgot about Melissa and thought about the next step in his campaign to win over Keller. He grinned at the envious looks he'd get from his college buddies when he showed up at the reunion with a woman who was not only beautiful but smart, even if she didn't make good choices for company. More than her looks and intelligence, having one of the world's foremost authority on the physiology of alien races as his lover could only enhance his prestige within the community in which they both worked. And that made it worth the time.

**San Francisco**

**North of the City**

The dark-haired host of Jendayi slipped her glasses on and turned from the computer. She didn't need the enhancement to her vision but those who knew her host expected her to wear them.

Taking a sandwich half from the TV tray on her left, she bit off a corner and chewed. After she'd swallowed, she took a drink from the cup of hot tea. "What of the threat from your host's partner?"

Bowing slightly, the symbiote, Bentaresh, said, "It has been seen to, my lady."

"This Lorne has been eliminated?"

"He has."

As he removed himself from the presence of Jendayi, Bentaresh's mouth, or rather the mouth of his host, turned upward slightly thinking of the look on a certain someone's face at the surprise that awaited them. To be fair, more than one person would benefit from the events that were scheduled to transpire at the upcoming peace conference. And he would be instrumental in bringing it all about. The smile turned into a grin as he got into his vehicle and pulled away from the curb.

**Outside the Beltway Apartments**

Evan Lorne watched the SUV drive down the street and turn the corner. Instead of going inside, he walked to the community garden and threw himself down under the tree in the center thinking about everything that O'Neill and Davis had told him. Trying to make sense of it made his head hurt.

His attention was snagged by a weed poking its head up through the rich dirt of the flower bed. Pushing onto his hands and knees, he yanked the thing from the ground and tossed it away. He spied another and pulled that as well. Instead of throwing it away, he examined it.

A weed was a plant that interfered with the growth of more desirable plants taking nutrients, infecting and degrading the quality of crops or horticultural plants. These Goa'uld were like an intergalactic weed, infecting and corrupting the quality of life for the races they encountered, enslaving and subjugating the less technologically advanced for their own purposes.

Searching, Evan found another weed and another, more. He kept pulling them from the ground, faster and faster.

Finally, he stopped, his clothes soaked with sweat mixed with the rich dirt from the garden. It covered him from head to foot, even his hair. Using the back of his hand, he wiped away the sweat dripping down his face leaving a grimy smear on his forehead.

Going to the shed in the corner, he brought out an old pickle barrel they used to carry stuff from here to there. Filling it with the weeds, he dumped it into the Dumpster in back of his apartment building, letting the metal cover slam with a resounding crash.

His normally impassive features hardened as did his resolve. _The Goa'uld will __not__ be taking over Earth, if there's anything __I__ can do about it!_

**TBC**


	7. Doors We Open and Close

**A/N:** Many thanks to ladygris for all her help. It's getting to where I don't remember if something was her idea or mine. At any rate, thanks for everything.

There are several items I expect to hear from readers about. Please don't hesitate to review or send a PM if you like. I won't take offense but I will take praise. LOL

Namaste,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 7**

**Doors We Open and Close**

**Area 52**

**Evening Shift**

With a long night filled with work ahead of her, Jennifer made her way to the small break room near her office. She yawned as she poured the last of the coffee into her cup. Setting it aside, she started another pot. About to reach for her cup, she jumped when someone came up behind her. Thinking it was Dora, she turned, but her smile of welcome left when she saw it was Magee. And she didn't like the look on his face. She never did, but especially not that disgusting leer. It was just bad luck this was one of the few places there were no cameras. As the 2IC at this facility, he would know.

Attempting to move around him, a little fear skimmed through her when he trapped her in the corner one hand on either side. "Where you going, Jennifer?"

"To my office, Mr. Magee."

"I told you. Call me David. And why in such a hurry?"

She smelled wintergreen mouthwash and tried not to cringe. Wintergreen used to be her favorite mint, but not anymore. Now she couldn't stand it. "I have work to do. Please let me pass."

"You work too hard. Join me for dinner and dancing instead. I promise to show you a good time."

His tone, obviously meant to be enticing, gave her goose bumps and not the good kind. "Uh…" Magee finally released her when they heard the sound of someone coming down the hall. She'd never been so happy to see anyone in her life. "There you are, Detective Sheppard. I need to speak to you. Hold my cup and I'll take you back to your room so we can talk." Her voice falsely upbeat, she didn't give him a chance to respond. He meekly took her cup as she pushed him down the hall.

"Angel?" His voice was low and inquiring.

Jennifer knew what he was asking but didn't want to explain. She'd rather just avoid Magee, hoping he'd get bored with her constant rejections. "Nothing I can't handle." They came to a stop next to his bed and he took her hand when she made to leave.

"Jennifer…"

"Please. Just let it go, John." She pulled free and left him alone.

~~O~~

John was taking himself for a roll when he heard Jennifer's voice coming from the break room. Immediately after, he heard Magee's voice and the tension in her reply. He hadn't liked the man the first time he'd met him and now he knew why. He'd suspected Magee HHHwas harassing the young doctor and wondered who else he was doing it to.

Releasing her hand reluctantly, she left his room headed quickly in the direction of her office, checking the hall before moving out. John still held her coffee cup. It was khaki green with a big red cross and said, "What Would Hawkeye Do?"

_What __would__ Hawkeye do? I haven't watched that show in years._

A few minutes later, John let Dora urge him into bed and again surprised her by taking his meds without a fuss. She turned out the light and shut the door. When she was good and gone, he turned the light back on. Arms crossed, he tapped his left bicep with his right hand, thinking and putting pieces together. Once he could see the picture, he began planning. Getting back into his wheelchair, he checked the hall then rolled over to the long corridor that went from the front of the building to the back, stopping to listen at Magee's door. The room was empty and the door was locked, the card reader a major barrier to his investigation. Not that the pig would keep evidence that he was harassing the female staff in his office, but it couldn't hurt to have a look around.

With a sigh, he headed down to the nurse's station. Dora had a habit of talking to her patients when she thought they were asleep or unconscious and mostly what she talked about was the rest of the staff. If he played this right, she'd tell him everything he wanted to know.

"_What_ are you doing out of bed?" Dora stood over him, all five feet two, a hundred and seven pounds of her.

_Charming the opposite sex isn't __that__ hard, is it? And it's never too late to learn, right?_ Giving her a winning smile, he took her by the hand. "Uh, I'm afraid of the dark?"

She pulled free, tilted her head and crossed her arms with a look on her face that said she didn't believe him.

"I was lonely?" Tilting her head the other way, Dora pursed her lips. With a sheepish grin he said, "I missed you?"

She snorted a laugh. "I hope that's not your 'A' game, Detective, because it's _not_ working."

"Ow!" He pretended to be mortally wounded and she laughed. "How about I'm not sleepy and want someone to talk to?

Uncrossing her arms, she pointed a finger at him. "Now _that_ I believe." Circling around behind him, she pushed him down the hall to the vending area. Fishing in her pocket, she pulled out a handful of change. Nodding at the snack machine, she said, "Pick your poison, Detective. I'm buyin'."

~~O~~

Melissa watched from around the corner as Dr. Keller rolled Detective Sheppard out of the break room. David came out a short time later taking fast angry steps in the direction of his office. His door slammed so hard she was surprised the glass didn't break.

She knew he had a thing for Dr. Keller but she kept blowing him off. She also knew from experience that he wouldn't stop until she agreed to go out with him.

Normally Melissa wasn't vindictive, but she'd really thought David was beginning to care for her. That he could use her then just throw her away like he did spoke of incredible arrogance. It had never been her way to want to get revenge on a man who dumped her, but this time it was different. And she knew just the person to help her do it.

**Las Vegas**

**Summerlin Subdivision**

The front door opened, closed and a tall man made his way to the bedroom he shared with the woman he loved. He set his briefcase on the desk in the corner, grinning at the clothes strewn across the floor. He picked them up and tossed them in the laundry basket. Taking off his jacket, he hung it in the closet then removed his tie and draped it over the tie rack. His shoes were placed side by side with the others in the bottom of the closet and his pants were tossed into the seat of a chair.

As he removed his shirt he heard the shower shut off and a few moments later, the door opened. Tish wrapped her slender arms around his waist, cuddling into his back. She loosened her hold long enough for him to turn to face her and tightened again. His hands came to rest on her upper arms as she laid her head on his shoulder for a moment before lifting her face for a kiss. He obliged her then embraced her.

She released him, pulling the elastic from her hair and braiding it as she went back into the bathroom, emerging within minutes wearing a cotton tank top and shorts in pink and white. Not her favorite he knew, but she wore them because they'd been a birthday gift from him. He thought the color suited her dark hair and fair skin.

Once he was in his pajamas, they brushed their teeth and went back to the bedroom. Before she climbed into bed, he pulled her over to sit at the vanity. Taking a black velvet box from the pocket of the pants he'd thrown over the chair, he got down on one knee in front of her. "Marry me?"

Tish slid off the chair onto her knees in front of him, her hand extended so he could slip the ring on her finger. With a big smile on her face, she hugged him tight and kissed him. He stood and helped her up. They went to opposite sides of the bed and slipped under the covers. He lifted his arm and she snuggled close, sighing in pleasure. Her left hand, now sporting a platinum and solitaire engagement ring, rested on his chest. Putting his glasses on the bedside table, he turned on the alarm and shut off the light.

"Mmm. Love you, Dickie Darling," she murmured sleepily.

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he smiled at the affectionate words. "Love you too, Morticia."

**Area 52**

**The Next Morning**

John caught Ana and Slater staring at him and whispering on more than a few occasions. After he ate breakfast without complaining about the oatmeal and blueberries he detested that was meant to help lower his cholesterol. After he went to his session with Dr. Adams without trying to finagle his way out of it. And after taking his morning meds without asking _again_ what each one was then giving numerous reasons why he shouldn't have to take them.

He was saving his strength for later. No, he wasn't planning on confronting Magee, not directly. He was hardly intimidating in this state and Magee'd only deny the allegations if he reported him to Woolsey. No, with him he'd have to be subtle.

Instead of waiting for his PT session with Sonny after lunch, he made his way down to the workout room and walked on the treadmill. Twenty minutes later, he eschewed the wheelchair and went to the weights. He hadn't lifted since his discharge from the Air Force.

Picking up the twelve pound weights he did a few bicep curls. It was a little heavy so he went down to ten. When his muscles began to burn, he went to the stairs but stopped after a few minutes, his thighs shaking from the effort to extend his endurance.

A few days ago, he'd asked Slater why someone else couldn't use that healing device to make him well faster but only understood part of the explanation, at least until he'd seen one of Jackson's videos that explained about something called naqahdah. You had to have it in your blood in order to make the technology work and there were only three people on the planet with it. Carter, Carter's boss, and an eighteen-year old girl named Cassie. And he wasn't about to ask any of them for help.

Making his way back to his chair, John went to the nurse's desk. Again he ignored Ana's puzzled stare when he asked for a computer with Internet access. She made the request on his behalf and he went back to his room to take a nap.

~~O~~

Richard read over the reports from the nurses, doctors, therapists and other staff members that Sheppard had contact with over the past couple of weeks. Except for Magee, he was universally tolerated, even liked by a few. Quite a change from the man who'd been here the first time.

He reread Morticia's report a third time. Not because he didn't remember what she'd written, but because he wanted to make certain he completely understood what she was saying.

Sheppard had more than a few issues to work through, not the least of which was the guilt he still harbored for the deaths in the helicopter crash for which he'd been dishonorably discharged from the military. And he was a gambling addict though he hadn't admitted it in so many words. These and any of the numerous other issues he had could be worked out over time. That and the nightmares that woke him or startled the night crew when he began calling out in his sleep.

He took out the documents he'd printed a few days before, checked the contents one more time and set them aside. A few more days and Sheppard would be ready.

**Two Days Later**

John, in the clothes Jennifer had given him and with cane in hand, purposely walked past the conference room next to Slater's office. Angel was here today but hadn't come to see him and it disappointed him just a little. She, Slater, two other doctors, Carter and McKay were sequestered trying to figure out some kind of medical problem. By listening when he was thought to be asleep, and doing some investigating, he found out that there was difficulty with Carter's pregnancy but he wasn't sure what. He and McKay mixed like vinegar and oil but he'd never wish something like that on anyone.

Checking up and down the hall, he went to the door and tried to listen. It wasn't completely outside the realm of possibility that he could help. Okay, so it _was_. Big deal. He wanted to know what was going on. He wasn't quite able to hear and took a step closer. Both hands against the door, he pressed his ear to the center of the wood, glad that this wasn't one of the glass doors.

Inside, he could hear the different voices but not what they were saying. Pressing even closer, he leaned his weight against the door just as it was opened from the inside. He went sprawling again only this time it wasn't at the feet of an Amazon. When he looked up, the face of a man with brown hair and blue eyes looked back at him.

"Doin' a bit of eavesdroppin', huh? Jen's _not_ gonna like that." He extended a hand to help John to his feet. "Carson Beckett. Doctor." The two men shook hands.

"John Sheppard. Sheepish."

And Beckett was right. Jennifer came to stare up at him and he did _not_ like the look on her face or the angry sparks in her eyes.

"What the _hell_ are you doing, John? I know you think the world revolves around you and everything is your business, but we are having a _private_ medical conference." Going to the door, she waited irritably while he retrieved his cane. "Now get _out_."

He looked around the room at the faces, some amused and others, like McKay, Carter and Angel, not. Carter was standing with her arms out to the sides while Slater measured her middle with a tape measure. Something wasn't right here. It hadn't been very long since they'd gotten the news they were expecting and she was huge! Deciding that his wisest course of action was to leave, he gave the room an apology. "Sorry." The door slammed behind him as he smiled and nodded to two women passing by. "Ladies." The one on the right with brown hair in a short ponytail kept watching him. He wasn't sure what her job was because she was in street clothes instead of a uniform. She waved as she and her friend turned the corner giving him the kind of smile he wished someone else would bestow upon him again.

On the way back to the Infirmary he came to the hall that led to where the Wraith was being kept. In his mind, he heard the Wraith again though he wasn't sure if it was real or a memory.

_Don't look now! Oh, keep dreaming._

_I know the future. I'll show you your destiny…John Sheppard._

McKay hadn't told the Wraith his name but somehow he'd known it. He didn't like that someone was getting into his head with so little effort. It was one of the reasons he didn't like going to the sessions with Dr. Adams. Without really seeming to, she'd managed to get him to tell her things he hadn't told anyone in a long time, if ever. That's why he avoided her the rest of the time. She _knew_. Like the Wraith, she'd seen inside to the _real_ John Sheppard. And like the Wraith, she hadn't recoiled in revulsion. _I guess that's something. _She also didn't look at him with pity or disappointment. She didn't judge. And that's the reason he opened up to her as much as he had. And why he avoided her.

_There must be some other reason for your existence._

Grudgingly, he agreed, though what that reason was, he had no idea.

**San Francisco**

**World Peace Conference**

**The Civic Center**

Having spent the last few days being indoctrinated into the "culture" of the Stargate program, Evan kept it all in mind as he patrolled his assigned area. He also thought about his partner and what had happened to him. He'd been "infected" by a Goa'uld. The video of the symbiote taking a host by going in through the back of the neck had made him more than a little nauseous.

How he was going to help them stop the nest that had taken up residence in San Francisco, apparently for the sole purpose of infiltrating the peace conference and taking over the world leaders in attendance, he didn't know. Evan also wondered, not for the first time, why Homeworld Security didn't just come in and clean them out as they had in the past. He was too low on the totem pole to be asking questions that didn't really concern him so he stayed quiet, kept his senses sharp and waited.

~~O~~

A man dressed as a server moved carefully down the hall. He'd seen the leader of the Goa'uld slip into a side corridor that led to restrooms, coat rooms and, ultimately, the storage areas. Stopping to listen, he heard nothing but the sounds of the employees getting ready for the banquet, a cacophony of crystal, china and silverware mixed with voices speaking in many languages and the scent of cooking. And in the distance, music.

Easing around the corner that would take him to the farthest storage rooms, a burning sensation started in his gut then pain like he'd never felt before made him gasp. He fell against the wall and slid down to the floor. Blood poured out of a knife wound in his stomach and bubbled from his lips.

Inside he could feel his symbiote moving around trying to heal him however they both knew the damage was too severe. Even a sarcophagus wouldn't help them now. He watched his attacker drop the knife that had been used to kill him, grin maliciously as she removed a pair of latex gloves and stepped past without a second thought. She lifted the hem of her evening gown so it wouldn't get in the blood and just walked away. In this area of the civic center, he wouldn't be found for a while, not until the end when the teardown of the festivities occurred.

Consciousness warred with darkness as his symbiote fought to keep him alive just a little longer.

~~O~~

A woman with brown eyes and dark hair in an elegant chignon came around the corner just in time to see the trailing hem of a black gown disappear out a side door, her eyebrows coming together in concern.

Groaning led her to the man who'd been stabbed. She crouched next to him her fingers touching the pulse under his jaw and finding it very weak. Her hand took her cellphone from the pocket of her jacket and dialed with one hand. Before she could speak to the voice on the other end, the man's hand, the one without the blood, stopped her. "Never mind." When she looked down into his eyes, they glowed briefly and he spoke haltingly.

"Help us or all is lost."

Her eyes widened in a mixture of fear and loathing. "You're a Goa'uld."

"No. I am (gasp) Anouke of the Tok'ra." Seeing the recognition in her eyes, he tried to take a deeper breath, but it turned to coughing, more blood foaming at the corners of his lips. "I _must_ complete my mission. Jendayi has to be stopped. If you are agreeable, I propose (gasp) a temporary alliance."

"I don't…"

He tried to sit up and she put a hand out to help him. "You have my promise. When this mission is complete, I will remove myself, even if it means my death."

The woman smiled sadly. "I've known many Tok'ra and have always found them honorable if occasionally manipulative." She nodded. "Agreed. What do I have to do?"

A groan was forced out of the man's throat followed by a rattling gasp. "It will not be pleasant but (gasp) you must…kiss me." He saw her begin to recoil at the thought then steel herself and lean close enough for their lips to almost touch.

When Anouke entered the woman's mouth, she made a choking sound, sagging against the opposite wall, until the length of the snake-like body had passed through her esophagus and settled into place. Her head bowed, her eyes flashed once and she pushed off the wall. Touching the face of her new host, the Tok'ra operative felt strong cheekbones. Touching the ears, she discovered the odd feeling was teardrop pearl earrings that, she supposed, matched the strand of pearls around her neck.

It was different being inside the body of a female. Anouke, though female herself, had never had a female host. She thought that it was a pity they couldn't stay together as she quite liked the thought that they shared something aside from a temporary symbiotic relationship.

Crouching by the body of the man who'd been her host for the last five years, she found he was dead. After taking a device from his inside pocket and slipping it into her own, she allowed the new body's owner to take over controlling their movements. She reached into another pocket and took out several tissues to wipe away the small amount of blood that had transferred during the joining.

*That was…strange.*

(Internal grin) **For me as well.**

*Well, _this_ is a door I never thought I'd open. So, what's the mission?*

**Jendayi has a plan in place that could not only jeopardize the lives of all humans of Earth and the Milky Way, but in the Pegasus galaxy as well.**

*Oh, that is _so_ not going to happen!*

Anouke smiled when she felt the determination of her new host. **I agree. We need to meet with the other Tok'ra and share information.**

*How will I know them?*

**You will know them when we see them. Our memories will be one and the same.**

*Then lead the way.* She gasped when an image appeared in her mind.

**I see you recognize the host of the system lord. That will make this mission easier.**

*Oh, yes. I recognize her as will most of the delegates at the conference. Her political ambitions have never been kept a secret. That would be why she was chosen as a host.*

**True. There is just one thing, and it has nothing to do with the mission. Before we are separated, there is something that I would like to do, if you'll permit. I would like to…dance.**

(Understanding grin) *I'm sure that can be arranged. I suggest a slow dance.*

**I see that it is your favorite.**

*Yes, it is. So…back to the party?*

**Yes. And many thanks, Elizabeth.**

**TBC**


	8. The Smallest Decisions

**A/N:** As always, many thanks go out to ladygris for all her kind words and assistance with all aspects of this story. IMs, emails, laughter, yadda, yadda.

Namaste,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 8**

**The Smallest Decisions**

**Area 52**

**Infirmary**

Derek left his office and walked to the nurse's station where Ana was deep in updating medical files, probably Sheppard's to go by the look on her face. They had other patients but he was the most…disruptive. She noticed him before he could speak and smiled. Not much had made him happy in the past year or so, except when he was here with her. She always had a smile for him, no matter what was happening, and it made him feel better just to be in her presence. That's why he was here now.

"Hey. How's the research going?"

He waggled his left hand. "We still haven't figured out why Carter's gestation is accelerated. If it keeps going like it has, she'll have those babies in the next couple of weeks." They absorbed the reality of that for a moment, Derek's hand flexing on the object in his hand. "Um, do you have a minute?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"I, uh, need to show you something. Well, not need, _want_to show you something." He took the papers from the envelope and handed them to her.

"What…Derek! This is you divorce decree." Holding the documents in her hand, she couldn't help the disbelief in her voice. "I didn't know you'd filed."

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly post it on my Facebook page. We'd been living apart for over a year. Wynell just decided she didn't want to be married any longer."

"I'm still sorry." She shrugged. "So, why are you showing it to me?"

"I haven't done this in a few years, so I'd appreciate it if you would please not laugh at my clumsy attempt at asking a woman on a date." She waited patiently, her hands still holding the papers. "Ana, would you like to have dinner with me?"

She pursed her lips in thought for a moment. "I would. When?"

"Tomorrow night? We can celebrate…" he nodded to indicate the finalizing of his divorce. She nodded and watched as he shoved the documents back into the envelope. "We're moving Detective Sheppard to a regular room today. Would you mind giving him a hand?"

"As long as he doesn't throw anything at me, yeah." They had a chuckle over that. "Um, I've been thinking about it myself, Carter, I mean." She stopped to go over the last couple of weeks again in her mind. "Sheppard's recovery is happening much faster than it should be, even with the use of the healing device. Sounds like a there's a connection to me."

He thought it over, his face showing intense concentration. "Now that you mention it…" Turning to go, he took a few steps, tossed a distracted "Thanks," over his shoulder and was gone. As he made his way down the hall, Derek took out his cell and speed dialed Jennifer. "Jen, get the gang together. Carter and McKay, too. I've got an idea. Actually, it was Ana's idea." He ended the call and broke into a jog. In his office, he quickly booted up his computer and got to work.

**San Francisco**

**Peace Conference**

**The Civic Center**

Evan was getting a little antsy about this whole situation. The post he'd been given was far from everything. In the hours he'd been here he'd only seen three people. One had gotten lost looking for the restroom. Another had gone out the exit he was guarding after showing her ID. He recognized her but didn't say anything, just held the door for her with a nod and a softly muttered, "Ma'am." The third had stood in the hall, her expression by turns confused, determined and pleased, all within the space of less than a minute. He'd recognized her as well-she was some sort of doctor, but he didn't remember her name.

Crackling in his headset preceded the routine check-in. He gave them the all clear and went back to watching. A few minutes later, one of the Secret Service agents came and told him he was being moved to a new post. Another sentry took his place in front of the exit and he was shown to an area of more activity.

"Sir?" His inquiry didn't slow the fast moving feet of the other man.

"Don't ask questions, Lorne. Just _do_ as you're told." They stopped at the opening of a long corridor that went back to the kitchen area. Lowering his voice, the man told him, "There's been an incident. We're keeping it under wraps for now. Just stay frosty."

**Area 52**

**Employee Overnight Area**

**Room 2B**

John shoved his clothes in the dresser and tossed the magazines he'd taken from the break room on the bedside table. _Fashion and Style, Las Vegas Life, Cooking for Health, Weekly Digest, and Celebrity Gossip._ John snorted. There hadn't been a sports or car magazine in the bunch and these were boring. Still, he needed something to read when he was done with the DVDs. _Won't need the sleeping pills anymore. _

He examined the visitor's badge Ana had given him so he wouldn't need an escort. It would only let him into the Infirmary, the overnight sleeping quarters, the Commissary, the main entrance, the workout room and Slater's and Adams' offices.

Sitting at the small desk, he booted up the laptop he'd been given and connected to the Internet. After thirty minutes of unproductive searching, he slammed the top with a sound of frustration. He had no idea what sites this strange agency used but he didn't have access to any of them. He'd also tried accessing some of the sites he'd used as a cop, but all of his passwords had been removed. Not that he hadn't expected it to happen, but at the rate the LVPD moved, he'd hoped IT hadn't gotten around to taking care of it yet.

He glanced at the clock seeing that it was still relatively early, at least for a secret agency that did business 24/7 in two different galaxies. Getting stiffly to his feet, he snagged his cane and left the room he'd be staying in until… Well, that's what he was about to find out, how long he'd be here. Now that his injuries were almost healed, he didn't quite know what he was going to do though he had a vague idea, sort of.

Though tired, he made his way to the secured door between where he was and where he wanted to be. A _boop_ followed when he swiped his card. The light stayed red and the door didn't open. Through the glass he could see someone coming toward him. It was the young woman who smiled and waved whenever she saw him.

"Can I help you, Detective?"

"Don't call me…never mind. Uh…" he gave her a smile he hoped was sociable and inquiring.

She returned the smile and supplied her name. "Melissa."

"Well, Melissa, I need to see Mr. Woolsey. If you could see your way to letting me in, I'd really appreciate it." He nodded down the hall and watched her think it over before finding in his favor.

"Sure." She stood back so he could enter and pulled the door closed behind him. "I'm sure Mr. Woolsey will be happy to see you, Detective Sheppard." She said his name a little too loud as he followed her to Woolsey's office. At the door, he looked her up and down, not bothering to be subtle about it, before thanking her with a smile then watched her walk away.

Not pretty in the traditional sense, he thought she could be if she changed the way she dressed and her hair style. Brighter colors, hair loose instead of being held off her face, heels instead of flats. _You've been reading those fashion magazines too much, Sheppard_. She did, however, have _the_ most enticing walk he'd seen on a woman in a long time. Well, aside from Angel. Her backside was just the right size for the rest of her, not too big, not too small, the firm round cheeks chasing each other in a lazy figure eight over and over. _I hate to see her go, but __oh__ how I love to watch her leave._

He shook his head to clear it and tried to ignore the effect her walk was having on his no longer slumbering libido. It jumped up waving its arms to remind him that it had been two full months plus a few days since he'd last had sex. He kicked it in the knee sending it whimpering under the sofa. _You aren't here to get your jollies,_ he reminded himself. _You're here to…_

Why _was_ he here? Not here as in meaning of life crap, but here in Area 52. The papers Magee had given him hadn't made it clear. Lifting the hand not holding the cane, he knocked.

"Come in." John entered, closed the door behind him and stood in front of Woolsey without saying anything. "Have a seat, Detective."

Ignoring the moniker, he sat down and watched Woolsey watch him impassively in return for all of forty-five seconds. "So, Woolsey, about that contract…"

~~O~~

When someone who wasn't authorized to be in a certain area tried to gain access, an alert appeared on Melissa's computer screen. And she was glad it did. _I can't believe my luck!_ There in front of her was the one man she could use to get back at David and she didn't even have to go looking for him.

As she reached David's office door, she raised her voice so he would know his most recent nemesis was near. "I'm sure Mr. Woolsey will be happy to see you, Detective Sheppard."

She left him the door and went back to work. As she entered the office she shared with four others, she heard David's door open. Peeking out, she saw him stop in front of their boss' door and listen to the voices inside.

He always stayed late so it would look like he was working harder than everyone else, but she had computer skills. With a few taps of her PC keyboard she hacked into his computer and read the file he was keeping on everyone and everything. Not only that, she found his plan for taking over Area 52 and the sweeping changes he would make.

_Not__ gonna happen!_

She would see to it that he got what was coming to him on two fronts, personally _and_ professionally. When she was through, his next assignment would be in Alaska far from _everything_ that meant _anything_ to him.

**San Francisco**

**Peace Conference**

**The Civic Center**

Bentareshchecked Anthony's pockets once more, just to assure himself that the items he'd placed there hadn't been lost. His fingers wrapped around the shapes that seemed to conform to the operator's hands, as if they were living and pliable. He caressed the metal finding comfort in the familiar contours, his finger tracing the writings on the surface.

With his host's father's connections, he'd been able to arrange to be close to the action in order to be in the right place at the right time. From his position on the upper mezzanine, he had a perfect view of the banquet hall below. Foreign dignitaries from all over the world were in attendance, but he was looking for one specific person. One who was not what she seemed. The six months he'd spent cultivating her trust were about to pay off. She was the leader of a Goa'uld nest that had been biding their time looking for just the right circumstances to begin their takeover of Earth. With the Wraith no longer a threat in this galaxy, hopefully, he and the other Tok'ra operatives would see to it that Jendayiand her people never got the chance.

Sensing someone behind him, he returned control back to Anthony. They both recognized Elizabeth Weir and waited for her to speak.

"It's been a while, James. You're looking well."

"And you, Elizabeth."

She glanced around and lowered her voice. "A friend would like to speak to you." At his hesitation, she continued. "Her name is Anouke." Without changing his expression, he watched as Elizabeth's eyes flashed, her voice deepening. "I would speak to Bentaresh, please."

~~O~~

"Anouke, it is good to see you are well. When I heard about the death of your host I feared the worst." Bentaresh grasped Anouke's hand and held tight. She gripped his in return.

"I was fortunate enough to find a new host before I died as well." She gestured at her body. "Elizabeth Weir is an integral part of this conference. Now I will be able to move even more freely among the delegates. I know that our plans had to be fluid. How shall we proceed?"

Before Bentaresh could answer, one of the senior Secret Service agents chose that moment to pass by. His head bowed as Anthony took over. When Anouke saw, she too traded places with her host.

Elizabeth gave Anthony a bright smile. "It's been great seeing you again, James. Your father is quite proud of you." She dropped his hand, clasping both of hers together in front of her.

Anthony rolled his eyes and smirked. "Yeah, well, it'd be nice if he told _me_."

Taking a step forward, she returned the smirk. "Oh, you know how he is."

"Yes, I do. That's the problem." She nodded and turned when the other man spoke.

"Something I can do for you, Dr. Weir?"

"Sergeant Anthony is the son of a dear friend. We were just catching up." To Anthony she said. "I'll let you get back to work. Let's have dinner while I'm in town."

"Of course."

With a last smile, Elizabeth lifted the hem of her gown and walked away. Anthony's eyes met those of the other man who was scowling. "Don't think you can break the rules just because your father's such a mover and shaker in Washington. You're on duty. Now act like it or I'll have you replaced."

Anthony watched the self-important jerk walk away, careful to keep his features blank while an internal conversation took place.

**Would he really do as he threatened?**

*No. If he did, he'd have to explain to the man in charge why he had the son of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court kicked out of such an important event. It would _not_ go over well with Dad or his best friend, the Vice President. Dad, he and Elizabeth have known each other since they were kids.*

**Is having a parent so high up in your government not an asset to your career?**

(Internal snort) *More of a hindrance. I've had to work harder than everyone else just to show that I'm serious about making it on my own merits instead of riding my father's coattails.*

**That is unfortunate.**

*Yeah.* Anthony touched his radio. "Upper Mezzanine, south side, clear."

**Area 52**

**Woolsey's Office**

"…and I'll tell _you_ what I told _Magee_…"

"Detective Sheppard, I'm sorry, but the terms on this page are non-negotiable. You _must_ comply with these conditions or the offer will be withdrawn." Woolsey's voice was firm yet understated. Just the right amount of give. The times he let his anger or displeasure show were to provoke a desired response. It was the same with John Sheppard or anyone really. Getting emotional would only create more problems. When pushed, he would push back. It was just his nature. This time when he did the pushing, he found a cushion instead of a brick wall though the cushion bounced back to its original shape.

"Yeah, yeah." Richard could see the wheels spinning in Sheppard's head. "How soon does it have to start?"

"End of the week at the latest."

"If I sign this, you realize that I'm still not a hero. I'll just do the job, get my paycheck and that's _it_."

"Understood, Detective." It had taken some fast talking on McKay's part but he'd finally made Richard see the potential in Sheppard. He really was capable of being the man McKay had told him he could be. Eventually, he'd see it too.

~~O~~

John rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair. From the description laid out in the contract/non-disclosure agreement, it looked like he would be a combination investigator and fixer, someone to check out unusual sightings or events that could be related to aliens hiding on Earth and keep them from becoming public knowledge, leaving the SGC to defend Earth from threats from without. Signing seemed like such a small decision, but it wasn't. In his life, there'd _been_ no small decisions and this was one more not-small decision. With a deep sigh, he reached for a pen. "All three copies?"

"I'm afraid so. The government wants everything original _and_ in triplicate."

John initialed and signed in all the indicated places until he got to the last page. After a moment's hesitation, he signed his name and added the date. Then he did the same for the other two copies. When done, he pushed them across the desk and threw the pen down.

Woolsey quickly scanned the pages, his lips turning up in a slight smile. He stood and pulled a painting of a sleeping woman in a gown away from the wall revealing a hidden safe.

John had learned quite a bit about art at his mother's knee. The painting was called _Flaming June_ by Frederick Lord Leighton. For some reason, the woman reminded him of Angel, her face relaxed in sleep, child-like and sweet. Not something he'd have expected Woolsey to have in his office.

From the safe he took several items that John couldn't see then moved to his side. He handed him a key card, a brand new silver plated Glock, a shoulder holster and a badge and ID in a leather case.

When John laid the items on the edge of the desk and stood, Woolsey extended his right hand. "Welcome to the SGC…Special Agent Sheppard."

"Thank you." John shoved the ID in his back pocket and clipped the access card to the front of his shirt leaving the weapon and holster on the desk. "Now, let's talk computer access?"

**San Francisco**

**Peace Conference**

**The Civic Center**

Once again Evan was moved to a different post. The sympathetic glance he got from the woman he replaced told him it was another unexciting and lonely place to spend his time at such a momentous event. With a sigh, he resigned himself to his time alone. Fifteen minutes later, he gave the all clear report. And again fifteen minutes after that.

He'd been there about an hour when he heard voices raised in anger and what might have been whimpering. He might have just told them to move on except both had that deep, echoing quality. One sounded female and the other he recognized as Anthony's. At the same time static exploded from his earpiece nearly deafening him in the left ear. He yanked it out and tucked it inside the collar of his blazer. _Forget calling for assistance!_

His service weapon was in a shoulder holster instead of on his right hip as it was when he was on patrol. He reached inside to slide it out and thumb off the safety. Gripping it in his right hand, he cupped the fingers of his left hand around the right, the outer edges of both thumbs touching. Moving silently in the direction of the voices, he praised himself for wearing the rubber soled shoes that didn't creak.

Sidling up to the corner, he snuck a peek and almost gasped out loud. There stood his partner holding one of the devices Evan had seen in the hidden compartment out in front of him as if it were a weapon. That wasn't the greatest shock of the night though. Not by a long shot. An even bigger surprise was that he was using the weapon to threaten a Senator.

~~O~~

Anthony finally located his team's target. She was wearing a long black gown that had a trailing hem in back. _A train?_ Didn't matter what it was called. When he saw her, she was speaking earnestly with the Prime Minister of a small European country and leading him out a side exit that Anthony knew would take them to a secluded storage area similar to the one where Anouke's previous host had perished.

Without bothering to get permission to leave his post, Anthony went to the nearest stairwell and took it to the first floor. Cracking the door at the bottom enough to see that the coast was clear, he stepped out, turning immediately in the direction he'd seen the Goa'uld leader headed.

_There they are!_ He could hear them up ahead and crept as close as he dared before pulling the Zat from inside his jacket. Unlike the older models that were too cumbersome to conceal, this one fit neatly in the palm of his hand.

Bentaresh took over as he leapt from cover, activating the Zat at the same time. "Stop!"

Jendayi's head whipped around in surprise at the sound of his voice though she kept one hand on the back of the Prime Minister's neck, the side of his face pushed against the wall.

The man's eyes darted back and forth in terror looking for escape. The wriggling symbiote in Jendayi's other hand screeched and snapped struggling to get close enough to join with its new host.

"Let him go! Now!"

The Goa'uld leader released the man and as soon as her grip loosened, he ran like hell. She turned.

"You will drop the symbiote now or you will both die."

Suddenly she grinned at him in triumph. "Not today, I think."

It puzzled him until he heard a ratcheting sound followed by a click and a familiar voice. The part of him that was Anthony shared that information with Bentaresh. The first sound was a nine millimeter round being chambered. The second was Evan Lorne's voice,.

"Don't move!" Anthony raised his hands out to the side away from his body. "Now drop the weapon and face me."

**TBC**


	9. Every Little Breath

**A/N: **To ladygris: thank you for all your assistance, opinions and sage advice. Words cannot express how much I appreciate it all.

To Lithane: *big, fat, wet raspberry*

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 9**

**Every Little Breath**

**Area 52**

**Employee Quarters**

**Room 2B**

It was evening in the desert of Nevada, hot and dry, just like always. There may have been sounds in the darkness but John couldn't hear them. He was inside his room staring out the window from the comfort of the air conditioning. In the distance, the mountains loomed and he imagined coyotes were howling mournfully at the moon. Closer, he could see buildings that looked like storage, but much larger, and hangars. From one of them, he'd seen several different types of vehicles come and go, guessing it was the motor pool or employee parking. It reminded him he no longer had wheels.

After his talk with Woolsey, he'd been sent down the hall to Melissa's office where she set him up with an email address. She also gave him all the computer access codes he would need to do the job he'd been asked to do as well as the databases from which all their information would come. He'd immediately made use of it to do some research and didn't like what he'd found out, which wasn't much.

His contemplation of the outside world done for now, he went to get ready for bed. In lieu of pajamas or scrubs, he wore a pair of boxers and a T-shirt. The events of the day made him groan as his body settled on the mattress and his head dropped to the pillow. Now that he had a new job and a whole new life ahead of him, sleep came easily for the first time in, well, a long time. He was just starting to dream, the images jumbled, as if he were watching moments from his life in random order, when he was…disturbed.

~~O~~

Magee was just about to shut down for the night when he received an email. His surprise at receiving communication from this particular person came out in a huff. After their last encounter, he'd doubted they'd speak in person unless they had to, much less electronically.

_An apology is in order. Meet me outside my quarters. Thirty minutes._

It wasn't signed but had come from Sheppard's address. Now that he was officially working for the agency, he probably wanted to make amends for all the horrid things he'd said during their argument.

David's father, a wealthy industrialist, had many friends high up in the government as well as the private sector. That's how he'd gotten this position and he was making the most of it, using his authority to get what he wanted. And he wanted Keller. Eventually she'd see that he could do things for her that no one else could and would beat a path to his door, he was certain.

He would finish his current project then go to the meeting, keep the man waiting so he'd see who was really in charge. A chuckle of anticipation at the look on Sheppard's face when he found out that he, the Assistant Director of Operations, now had the power to have him fired would be worth the wait.

~~O~~

Jennifer appeared in the lobby area of Area 52 with a sort of peace offering for John. Not that she needed to apologize for slamming the door in his face. He _had_ intruded on a private meeting. But she'd seen this particular item and it made her think of him.

In the Infirmary, Dora told her John had been moved to a regular room. She decided to head that way after she checked on the patients still in residence to give the on-call doctor a break. That done, she went to her office and typed up a report she should have done days ago. She sent it to Woolsey and the other interested parties then pushed away from her desk. After checking the hall to make sure David wasn't lurking about, she headed for her next destination.

**San Francisco**

**Peace Conference**

**The Civic Center**

Evan reacted instinctively upon seeing his partner holding a weapon on the Senator. Keeping his Glock trained on Anthony, he quickly glanced over to the dark-haired woman, only able see the left side of her body. "Are you alright, Senator?"

Her head bowed forward a moment as if in relief. "Thank goodness you arrived when you did, officer. He…"

"Do _not_ listen to her!" Bentaresh stayed in control of the body with Anthony's permission. "She is not what she seems."

Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, Evan ignored his comments. "Toss that over here." The device in Anthony's hand landed a short distance to Evan's right. He gave it a quick glance just to assure himself of its location then nodded to the Senator. "Ma'am, if you please."

"What is going on here?" The accented voice behind them sounded incensed on the Senator's behalf.

Moving to the side so he could keep everyone in sight, Evan reached under his jacket and produced a pair of handcuffs. "Ambassador, would you be kind enough to put these on him?" He nodded at Anthony.

"Care to explain why?"

"It's a long story and…"

"I'm _not_ the enemy here, Evan." Anthony was back again. "_She's_ the Goa'uld." He indicated the Senator without taking his eyes off his partner.

Evan ignored him. "Ambassador?"

The other man shrugged and took hold of Anthony's right hand twisting the arm behind his back. A metallic snap-click was followed by a second one and the Ambassador took a step back.

The dignified Asian man called out when the Senator wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him to her. She lifted the hand that had been hidden from Evan's view as her eyes flashed, her voice changing. "I would have preferred my original choice, but you'll do very nicely as host to Chione." Bringing the symbiote up, she bent the Ambassador forward to expose the back of his neck.

**Stargate Command**

**Barracks Level**

"Mmm. Oh, that feels _so good_, Rodney. Don't stop!"

Rodney grinned at his wife. He would keep rubbing her feet until she fell asleep or told him to stop, whichever came first, though it was seldom the latter. Adjusting his position, he gently squeezed her calves, rubbing his strong hands over her skin. "How's your back?" His eyes skimmed up the length of Sam's body to her swollen belly. It had only been a short time since they'd found out they were going to be parents, but now she looked ready to give birth any day.

Slater had discovered that the Goa'uld healing device Sam used on Sheppard had somehow interacted with the pregnancy hormones speeding up not only the babies' development but the Detective's recovery as well. Rodney had been skeptical until his hypothesis was confirmed by Jennifer. Not that he hadn't believed the man but he could have been mistaken in his conclusions. With Jennifer's voice as well as Carson's and Lam's, he and Sam had no choice but to believe it. Conception had taken place just two weeks prior to Sam using the healing device instantaneously setting the gestation into overdrive.

"Not good."

Sliding off the bed, Rodney moved up even with Sam's torso. "Turn on your side." She did and he used his fingers and thumbs to manipulate the muscles of her lower back. "So we're naming the boy Daniel. How about Olivia for the girl?"

"After your sister?"

"Yeah. She died of crib death a few years before Jeannie was born. When they're old enough, we can tell them about their namesakes. "

Sam heard the wistfulness in his voice and it made her smile. When they first met it was instant dislike on both their parts. He was constantly telling everyone how smart he was, bragging about his accomplishments, ridiculing those he felt were inferior intellectually and morally. Then one day, she saw through all of that to the genuinely kind and caring man underneath. He still retained some of the idiosyncrasies and quirks from that time, but now they were tempered by the love they had for each other. If he started getting out of line, all it took was a touch on the arm or the lift of an eyebrow and he'd moderate his words and attitude. Actually, it worked in both directions as Sam had a tendency to let her temper get the best of her as well. "A fitting tribute to both. Great idea."

"I _know_." He sounded smug though it was more of a put-on than actually meant. His right thumb pressed on a spot just to the right of Sam's spine even with the middle of her pelvis.

"Ow!"

Rodney immediately backed off. "Did I hurt you?"

"No. It's just…every time you press on that one spot they kick. The inside of my uterus is being used as a soccer ball." Sam groaned as she adjusted her position and Rodney lay down spooning her from behind. His right arm went around her just above her belly. Her fingertips raked his knuckles, over his wrist, into the hair on his arm and back then encircled his wrist moving it down to the lower curve of her abdomen. "Rub here. That calms them."

He did and they finally quit moving around so much. "That's because they know Daddy loves them and wants them to be happy and _quiet_ so Mommy can sleep." He kissed her on the neck and closed his eyes. Now that the kids were somewhat still, Sam drifted off to sleep, and Rodney soon after.

**Area 52**

**Employee Quarters**

**Room 2B**

Scanning her card, she opened the door and slipped inside leaving it slightly ajar. There was enough light coming through the gap to make her way to the bed without tripping or running into furniture. Sitting on the side of the bed her hip touching John's, she leaned forward, pressing her hands to his chest.

He stirred, the tempo of his breathing telling her what she was doing was having the desired effect as his hands came up to gently grip her arms above the elbows. When his hands reached her shoulders they pulled her close, sliding around to her back caressing her spine though the blouse.

Twisting his body, he brought her onto the bed with him, her squeal of surprise ending when he covered her mouth with his. One leg came up over both of hers holding her still though not trapped. His hand moved to the waistband of her slacks and pulled the tail of her blouse out just enough to slip his hand inside to her stomach.

She gasped when his lips left hers to lay a series of kisses along her jaw to her neck, following it down to her shoulder then around to her throat. "Mmm, Angel."

He stopped his work on her neck, hissing in pleasure that was close to pain when her hand slipped below his waist. "Sure, sure. I'll be your angel."

~~O~~

John couldn't believe that Angel had come to him. When her small yet exceedingly capable hands touched him, he pulled her onto the bed. He hadn't thought she was the type to waylay a man in his room but, hell, if she was offering, he'd be crazy to turn her down. And while he was seven kinds of fool for even being here, he was _not_ crazy. Not in the strictest sense of the word. Just the normal kind of crazy. And he was a man who had only just managed _not_ to be killed by an alien. He deserved a little stress relief, didn't he? "Mmm, Angel."

"Sure, sure. I'll be your angel."

At the sound of her voice, John stopped his exploration. Reaching over her he flicked on the bedside lamp. "Melissa! What the _hell_…"

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

She kissed him again, her hand going back to what it had been doing and he almost gave in, almost took her up on her offer of a few hours of well, not anonymous sex though it was close. With a surge of will power he didn't know he possessed, he broke away from her, got out of bed, holding the pillow in front of him. "Get out of here."

"I don't understand. I thought…"

"_What?_ What did you think? That I wouldn't care who I was sleeping with as long as she was willing?" She didn't say anything, just crossed her arms and glanced away, which told him that's exactly what _had_ been going through her mind. "Look, I'm sorry if you think I led you on."

"I read the signals wrong is all." Melissa turned away from him. "Just tell me one thing. Who were you thinking of when you were… Who's Angel?" She looked over her shoulder at him. "It's Dr. Keller, isn't it?" He didn't respond and that was answer enough for her. "You _do_ know it's unethical for a doctor to sleep with a patient, right?"

He nodded, letting her get as far as the door before speaking. "Melissa." When she looked at him again, he gestured and belatedly began buttoning her blouse.

~~O~~

Jennifer located 2B on the right, her eyebrows coming together over her nose at finding the door open and a woman coming out still doing up the buttons on her top. Her hair was tousled and her face flushed. The woman passed without acknowledging her, swiping her card and pushing through the door into the main office area.

Her thoughts on what had been happening before she arrived were confirmed when she stepped into the doorway and found John just pulling up his jeans. He pulled his T-shirt down over his hips, pushing a hand through his hair making it stand up even more than it usually did. "What was _that_ all about?"

"A misunderstanding."

"Really? 'Cause from here it looks like…"

John huffed at her. "I _know_ what it looks like but it _wasn't_."

She tried and failed to keep the irritation out of her voice. "You sure?"

"Very."

Shrugging as if she thought he was lying, she turned to go, striding quickly in the same general direction that Melissa had gone, disappointment clouding her expression. She didn't stop until he caught up with her stopping her forward motion with a strong grip.

"Angel-Jennifer, please _stop_." Aiming a thumb over his shoulder, he tried to explain though all that came out was a harshly whispered, "I _thought_ she was _you._"

Jennifer scoffed. "How could you possibly think _she_ was _me?_"

"Uh, it was dark. She came into my room while I was asleep." The glare turned to disbelieving annoyance. "And well, we've never kissed."

"That's _it?_ _Really?_" Jennifer's hands came up to grab fistfuls of his T-shirt and pulled his mouth down to hers. Her lips worked against his, trying to prove a point but also showing a healthy dose of exasperation. "There! _Now _you'll know."

Jennifer's hands still held onto his shirt. Every little breath came fast just as his did and when she raised her eyes she knew he would see that the anger had gone, replaced by desire.

~~O~~

John saw the look in her eyes and took a chance. The worst Angel could do is…hurt him really, really bad.

As he lowered his head again, to his surprise, she gulped, her eyes going very wide as he cupped her face between his palms. When he rubbed his thumbs over her cheeks and down to almost but not quite touch the corners of her mouth, her jaw dropped open. He took her up on the unspoken invitation and covered her mouth with his.

~~O~~

When John kissed her, she let her body make the decisions like it had been wanting to do. It had been a long time since she'd kissed a man who kissed her back the way he was now and she found herself unprepared for the onslaught of sensation. Her hands uncurled from the cotton of his shirt, flattening against his chest and sliding up around his neck. She pressed her body against his and found the evidence to substantiate his claim that nothing had happened with the other woman. His tongue touched hers, making her gasp. Without thinking about the consequences, she spun them around and dragged him toward his room. She'd started something and had every intention of finishing it.

~~O~~

David walked with a bounce to his step. Oh yes, this was going to be a _good_ night. Sheppard would apologize and, being a generous man, he'd accept on the condition that, going forward, he be treated with the proper amount of respect that was his due.

Before he reached the rendezvous point, he heard sounds. If he didn't know better, he'd think a couple was making out in the hall. He stumbled to a halt when he turned the corner and came upon just such a scene. Sheppard was kissing Jennifer while pushing her in the direction of his room.

He stepped back around the corner so he wouldn't be seen. Not that either of them was aware of their surroundings at the moment. Anger replaced the smugness which changed quickly to disbelief when Sheppard stopped their forward momentum. They exchanged a few words then his door closed leaving Jennifer alone in the hall. With a sound of frustration, she stormed off headed, he presumed, for the Infirmary. And he followed her.

**San Francisco**

**Peace Conference**

**The Civic Center**

The being that was both Anthony and the Tok'ra Bentaresh thought frantically trying to find a way out of the situation they were in. They could not and would not allow Jendayi to implant the Ambassador. The two minds that were one came to an agreement. Calling on his years playing football, Anthony chose to pass rush the quarterback. Just as Jendayi brought the symbiote around so it could join with the Ambassador, Anthony bent and rushed, catching her in the stomach with his shoulder. His hands cuffed behind him, he had no way to brace himself and landed on top of the host, sending the symbiote flying through the air.

Anthony heard Evan shouting at him to stop but he was concentrating on trying to get away from Jendayi. She pushed him off of her, climbed to her feet and rounded on Evan as he tried to sort out who was who not wanting to shoot the wrong person. That the Senator would attack him obviously hadn't occurred to him until she kicked his weapon away.

**Area 52**

**Employee Quarters**

**Room 2B**

As cold water cascaded over his heated skin, John thought about the events of the last few minutes.

The situation with Melissa coming uninvited to his room bothered him but not as much as the one with Angel. It was right up there with the fact that _anyone_ on the base with the proper clearance had access to him. _Have to do something about that._

If Angel hadn't arrived when she did, he might have already reached his happy ending. Scratch that. He _would_ have reached it though he hadn't been thinking about Melissa as he kissed and touched her intimately. He'd been thinking about long blonde hair, brown eyes and a sweet smile. Yes, both women had left him, but it wasn't the one who'd gotten his motor running that he'd chased. It had been Angel.

Oh, he'd tried to think of her only as Dr. Keller to keep some distance between them. But in his mind, she would always be Angel, the woman who'd saved his life and made him think there might be hope for him after all.

Turning to let the water hit him in the face, he tried to figure out why, when she'd offered what he hadn't taken from Melissa, he'd backed away and was at this moment trying to calm the tension in his mind and body with the coldest water possible. Like a neon sign in the dark, it came to him. It just hadn't seemed right that he should use her in that way. She wasn't the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am type and neither was he, not anymore, not really. And Melissa's words made him think about what sleeping with him now would do to Angel's career. No way would he let her jeopardize that for a roll in the hay.

The look on her face when she'd seen Melissa leaving his room would stay with him for a while, he knew, but wasn't sure why. Just like he didn't know why, when he closed his eyes at night, some of the nightmares had been replaced by more pleasant scenes. Why sometimes Angel replaced another in those nightmares. And why he even _cared_ what she thought about him.

He shut off the water, towel dried his hair, and wrapped the terrycloth around his waist. Out in the bedroom, he threw himself down on the bed where he lay awake for a long time just staring up at the ceiling.

~~O~~

Melissa tied her hair back into its usual ponytail with quick angry movements but it was herself she was angry with, not John. Her little plan to make David jealous with the one man that might have done the job had failed miserably. The humiliation of it heated her face as she booted up her computer, accessing the file containing all the forms the company used for one reason or another. She filled out the one she wanted and emailed it to her direct supervisor and to Mr. Woolsey. After a short pause, she forwarded it to John, adding a short note of apology on the end.

It was time to make some drastic changes in her life. Woolsey would get back to her within two days to let her know if her transfer request would be approved. If granted, she'd be relocating to Washington, DC to work in Homeworld Security with General O'Neill. The chances of accidentally running into David, John or Dr. Keller again would be reduced to very small. And _that_ she could live with.

~~O~~

Jennifer hurried down the hall shoving open the door to the ladies room and going to the first sink. She splashed cold water on her face over and over not caring that her hair was getting wet.

Unlike the first kiss, which Jennifer had done out of anger and frustration, the second one was so unbelievably intense it had taken down her defenses as if they were made of smoke. The heat from his body had warmed her in the slight chill of the air conditioning. Now she welcomed the chill.

Drying her face, she looked at herself in the mirror and saw what she always saw, but now there was a sparkle in her eyes that hadn't been there in a long, long time. Well, never, actually. Her first foray into an intimate relationship with a man had been with her lab partner in med school. After working late nights and weekends together for months, they'd finally given in to their desires. The relationship had lasted until he'd gone overseas to study.

Her mentor, Carson Beckett had been kind enough to help her through the break-up, though it hadn't hurt as much as she thought it should have. And from then on, she'd done everything he'd counseled her to, which had eventually brought her to this place and time.

She balled up the paper towel and tossed it in the trash on her way to the door.

~~O~~

Waiting for Jennifer outside the bathroom, David almost danced with glee. This was just the opportunity he'd been waiting for.

When she stepped out, her hair damp and face still that attractive shade of pink, he pushed off the wall. "Jennifer." The look she shot him wasn't pleasant at all, but that would soon change. "Can we talk?"

"I'd rather not, if you don't mind." She started walking and he fell into step beside her.

"Actually, I do mind. I saw what happened with you and Sheppard." Her shoulders stiffened. "He didn't want you. That much was obvious when he left you all hot and bothered." Drawing her to a stop, he put as much sympathy and compassion into his next words. "I won't do that. I'll see to it that you are completely satisfied every time we're together." She didn't say anything so he continued. "Take a few days to think it over." He took a card from his inside breast pocket. "Here's my personal cell number. I know you'll make the right decision."

Leaving her alone, David turned and went back to his office. He knew she'd give in, that she'd see what he could do for her, what they could do for each other. And if she declined his invitation, he still had the video logs of her encounter with Sheppard. With the threat of deregistration and prosecution hanging over her head, it was a certainty that she'd come around.

He packed up his laptop, scooped his car keys off the desk and left for home making plans.

**San Francisco**

**Peace Conference**

**The Civic Center**

Evan watched as his Glock spun through the air to land more than twenty feet away. Now that he was disarmed, the Senator, who had to be a Goa'uld just as Anthony had said, turned back to the Ambassador. He'd gotten to his hands and knees, the wind knocked out of him. Movement drew Evan's eyes and he saw that snake thing rear up preparing to jump.

Fear like he'd never known swelled almost overwhelming his reason when he saw that the creature had chosen a new host for itself: him. The fear switched over to terror when it leapt into the air.

**TBC**


	10. One Day At A Time

**A/N:** As always, thanks go out to ladygris for all her help with Beta services and her friendship. Lithane might have had some input but I don't remember. He probably does. So thanks either way.

Merci,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 10**

**One Day at a Time**

"Shoot _now!_"

Anthony's shout reminded Evan of his obligation to serve and protect everyone, including himself. His weapon too far away, he dived into a shoulder roll and came up on one knee, the device he'd taken from Anthony in his right hand. His thumb slid around the surface until he felt a slight indention.

His training in the military and as a cop kicking in, Evan hit the creature in midair. A powerful bolt of energy was spit from the front of the Zat accompanied by a _bzzt-pow!_ The symbiote fell to the floor at his feet and lay there twitching, the frill around its neck bent at an odd angle. If he hadn't hit it when he did, it would at this moment be burrowing into his skull.

Bentaresh quickly traded places with Anthony. "Twice more, Evan! Hurry!"

Without thinking, Evan did as he was told and the symbiote disappeared in the blue-white arc of electrical fire. A wisp of smoke was disbursed by the environmental system just as the Senator got to her feet and ran. She'd only gone a few feet when another bolt of white light came over Evan's shoulder to hit her in the back.

The woman Evan had seen in the hall earlier was now beside him holding a weapon just like the one he held loosely in his fingers, his face slack with shock.

She nodded at the weapon. "As you've probably surmised, once stuns, twice kills, three times disintegrates."

Her name came to him in a sudden moment of clarity. Dr. Elizabeth Weir, diplomat, linguist, negotiator.

She rolled the Senator onto her back. Her voice deep, she remarked, "Elizabeth does not care for her political stance on the health care bill now before Congress but would never have wished this on her. If the symbiote cannot be removed, she will spend the rest of her life in prison at Stargate Command." Evan continued to look from her to Anthony and back as if he were at a ping pong match. "You are concerned that we have eliminated Jendayi so that we would be able to take over Earth in her place."

Still processing everything, all Evan could do was nod.

Anthony got to his feet with help from Elizabeth. "I am Bentaresh and she is Anouke. We are of the Tok'ra. Though we are joined as are the Goa'uld, there the similarities end. We do not force ourselves upon a host. If consent is not given, the joining does not occur even if the alternative is death." Voices coming toward them drew their attention. Turning to present Evan with his shackled hands he waited for the handcuffs to be removed.

Evan tucked the Zat into a pocket and released Anthony then he and Elizabeth dragged the unconscious Senator into a closet.

"She will be out for quite some time. We will return for her after the security detail has been assured that all is well." Bentaresh turned control over to Anthony again while Anouke did the same for Elizabeth. To Evan, Anthony whispered, "You should let Elizabeth and I do the talking."

**Stargate Command**

**A Few Days Later**

Sam leaned back in her chair, tossed her pen on the desk and rubbed her eyes. As long as Daniel and Olivia continued to kick, she wouldn't be able to get any work done and rubbing the sweet spot wasn't helping because it only worked when _Rodney_ did it. She looked at her belly and could actually see them moving around. She and Rodney had been assured that their development, though fast-tracked, was normal, but it didn't stop her from worrying. She was just better at hiding it than her husband was. Except for today. Pushing out of her chair, she waddled to the door, down the stairs, into the Infirmary and over to Carolyn's office. "Hey."

"Hey. How you feeling?"

"Uncomfortable, physically_ and_ mentally. I'm probably worrying for no reason but…"

"But you'd like another ultrasound."

"Yeah."

With a smile of understanding, the medical doctor came around her desk and took her friend by the hand. "Come on. I'll do it myself."

"Thanks."

Carolyn helped Sam lie down on an exam table, pulled the curtains around the bed and readied the scanner. She squirted a small amount of the gel onto her bare stomach and began the exam. On the monitor, a three dimensional image of two babies appeared.

"They look perfect." Sam's voice was filled with wonder.

Carolyn's smile was in her voice. "They _are_. Everything is exactly the way it should be, well, except for the shortened maturation period. We had no idea that the device would react with the hCG levels, kicking it into overdrive. I…"

"Carolyn!" Sam's voice had changed from wonder to shock. "Look!"

When Carolyn turned back to the monitor, something odd was happening. Babies opened their eyes while inside the womb, but this was different. Their heads had turned as if they knew where the scanner was and were looking directly into it. The boy on the left and the girl on the right turned their heads to follow the probe as Carolyn moved it over Sam's belly. They were also smiling, a response that is learned during the first three months of life _outside_ the mother's womb.

"Uh…" The medical doctor was at a loss to explain the unusual reactions.

"_What_ is happening with my children?"

"I wish I could tell you. I've done hundreds of these and have never seen that happen before." She set the scanner aside while she went to the controls, tapped the keyboard a few times and returned to Sam's side, handing a DVD to her friend. "I've sent the video to Jennifer and Carson. We'll confer and get back to you as soon as possible."

"Rodney is going to well, _freak out_ is the only way to describe it." A reassuring hand took hold of Sam's and was gripped tightly.

"I know. Want me to tell him?"

Sam shook her head. "He had to go back to Atlantis. I'll give him a call. Um, what about the naquadah?"

"It _may_ have been a factor. We're still working on it." Carolyn finished wiping the gel from Sam's stomach and helped her sit up. "Go back to work and try to relax. Think happy thoughts."

"Easy for _you_ to say." Sam nodded at the monitor where the last view of the babies was displayed on the monitor. They were still smiling.

**Atlantis**

**Pegasus**

Rodney was alone in his lab trying to fit a crystal no bigger than a BB into one of the LSDs. It was an experiment he had been working on for months, to create a smaller and better power source for the devices. So far it hadn't worked out quite like he'd planned. It was like trying to get the BBs into the slots in one of those kids' games, except that it had never taken him more than thirty seconds to finish one. All he had to do was put this last one in and…

"McKay!"

The voice startled him and he dropped the crystal on the floor. "Son of a _bitch!_" He dropped to his knees searching the floor for something that was very small and almost invisible to the naked eye. He was just reaching for it with a smile of triumph when a pair of enormous booted feet came into view. The smile turned into dread when he heard a crunch. With a long sigh of exasperation, he sat back on his heels ready to rip the person a new one. That thought died before it made it to his mouth when he saw that the culprit was Caldwell. "You have _just_ ruined three days of work, Colonel." Getting to his feet, he went to the door that led to the fabrication area. "That was my _last_ prototype."

"You didn't answer the page so I'm here to deliver a message."

"Fine." Rodney put on an air of impatient waiting. "But it better be important."

"It is, Doctor. Your wife needs you back on Earth ASAP."

Rodney only heard up to "your wife" and he was out the door. "Why the _hell_ didn't you _say_ so?"

Caldwell watched him get into the transporter and disappear. A man of few words, all he did was lift one eyebrow.

~~O~~

After receiving Rodney's frantic call, Jennifer met him in the Gate Room, giving him a reassuring smile and pat on the back just as they stepped into the event horizon.

**Stargate Command**

**Barracks Level**

Sam watched Rodney watch the video of the most recent ultrasound and waited for his reaction. Using the remote, he reversed and watched it again and again. Finally, he shut it off and just stared at the blank screen.

"Well?"

"They aren't supposed to do that."

"No."

He got up and paced around their room. When he saw the look on her face, he came back to the sofa, took her in his arms and kissed her temple. "I'm taking a leave of absence."

"Why?"

"I need to be _here_, not three million light years away."

"That would mean leaving Zelenka in charge. Remember what happened last time?" He helped her stand and guided her over to the bed.

"You have a point. I'll just work from home for now." After propping her up in the bed with lots of pillows, he handed over her computer.

"I'm glad you're here." She took him by the hand, giving him an adoring smile. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"Mmm. Not in about twelve or thirteen hours. You're late." Rodney returned the smile and included a lingering kiss on her lips. "Love you too."

After setting a bottle of water on the bedside table, he took another for himself and went to the desk. He took a long drink while his computer booted up.

Her attention on the screen in front of her, Sam felt around but was too far from the table to reach her water. "Rodney, hand me my drink please? Thanks."

"Hmm?"

"I said thanks for the drink."

"What drink?"

"Uh, this one." Sam waggled the bottle.

He turned from the desk, the complicated equations displayed there already forgotten. "I've been right _here_."

"You didn't just hand me this?" Her voice was laced with concern.

"No. What the…"

Sam raised her hand, a strange look on her face. To the air, she said, "I'd like my slippers please." A moment later a pair of fuzzy black slippers floated through the air and landed on the bed next to her.

"Wh-Who did that?"

"Wasn't _me_." Sam shut her computer and set it aside. This new development was more than a little troubling.

Rodney huffed. "But _I_ didn't do it. What if it's…" They looked at each other then at her belly both having the same thought at the same time. "You don't think they…"

"The evidence supports that conclusion."

"Oh, crap." Their response was said in unison.

"I don't suppose this is something we can keep from Jennifer and Carolyn." Sam shook her head. Taking her by the hands, Rodney helped her off the bed. "Might as well get it over with. Think they'll see through the feigned ignorance?"

"Don't know. Let me see your I-have-no-idea-what's-going-on look?" She waited while he altered his expression into one of confusion. Shaking her head and chuckling, she took his hand as they left their room. "Better let _me_ do the talking. You're a terrible liar."

**San Francisco**

**Metro Substation**

Evan parked his car in employee parking, checked his hair in the mirror, straightened his tie and got out. Taking his brand new Inspectors badge from his pocket, he clipped it to the waist of his pants then attached his building access card to the lapel of his jacket and went inside.

As he made his way to the squad room, he thought about what had happened after he'd killed the symbiote. Anthony and Weir had smoothed things over with security then he'd watched as the Senator disappeared in a flash of light. He was told they had the technology to remove the symbiote and that Senator Sarah Palin of Alaska would once again be herself. A story would be concocted to explain her bizarre behavior and all would be well again.

And they'd been right. When Evan visited her in the hospital, she hadn't remembered him or the events at the conference. After he'd been extensively debriefed by O'Neill and Davis, Dr. Weir had used her pull to get him a few days off and the results of his inspector's exam.

So here he was his first day as a member of the unit formerly led by Nash Bridges who'd retired the year before. Evan had been a little ticked as he'd wanted to work with the man from the moment he decided to become a cop.

Making his way to the third floor without bothering to use the elevator, he checked his hair one more time and opened the door on a bustling squad room. Winding between the desks and narrowly avoiding being run over by a young man pushing a mail cart, he knocked on the Lieutenant's office door. A female voice barked out "come in." He took a deep breath and went in.

**Area 52**

**Tish's Office**

"Are you nervous about tonight, John?"

Tish was wearing long pants and a short sleeved top in her usual black with shorter heels. She moved and light glinted off the ring on her left hand. This was the first time John had noticed that she was now wearing an engagement ring and his detective's eye told him it was on the pricey side. "No, because I'm not going." His eyes wouldn't meet hers.

"It's a condition of your employment."

"I'll go next week."

"No. You have to go _tonight_. Want me go with you?"

John shook his head and tried again. "I don't have wheels."

Tish set her pad and pen aside when the buzzer beeped signaling an end to this session. "Go to the motor pool." She stood and he did as well allowing her to usher him to the door. "The most important a thing to remember is that it's an _illness_, _not_ a character flaw. There are many people out there in the same situation. Some you might never suspect."

"Like who?"

She shook her head. "You know I can't tell you that."

John shrugged. "Had to ask."

~~O~~

John pulled up to the building, got out and walked slowly to the front door. He reached for the handle stopping just short of actually touching it. _I'll come back later when there aren't so many people._

"Hey, buddy. In or out?"

"Uh…" Looking over his shoulder, John met the eyes of a man about fifty wearing jeans and a T-shirt. He looked like an average Joe, clean-cut, a wedding ring on his left hand, not someone who had an uncontrollable impulse to gamble his life away. "In, I guess."

He took a seat all the way in the back as far from the others as he could, watching them mill around holding cold drinks and munching on cookies. Someone offered him a cup of coffee but he declined. Resting one ankle on the knee of the other, he hooked his arm over the back of the vacant chair on his right, ignoring the person who took the seat to his left.

The meeting started, many people standing up to tell their stories of how they became addicted to gambling, how long it had been since they'd last gambled and how it felt to go another day without it. The group was supportive whether the person was new or had been a member for more than a decade.

John was bored with all of it. Yes, he knew he was one of them but the thought of getting up in front of a bunch of strangers and telling your whole life story in a hundred words or less made him cringe. As if his life could be summed up in so few words. He covered a yawn, checked his watch and thought about leaving.

"Thanks so much for sharing your story, Sean. Anyone else?" An arm covered in an expensive suit jacket rose into the air. "Ah. Stand up please and tell us your name."

"Hello, my name is Richard."

As they had all night, the group chorused "Hi, Richard."

John sat up straight at the sound of a familiar voice. _What the hell is Woolsey doing here?_ He nearly slapped himself on the forehead. _Duh!_ Craning his neck, he could see his new boss holding the microphone. _No wonder he was so adamant._

"Thank you. Today is the seventh anniversary of the day I decided to take back control of my life from gambling. But I have to give credit where credit is due. I don't think I could have made it this far without the support of the woman who just this week agreed to be my wife, Morticia Adams." Tish stood up, took a quick bow and resumed her seat while Woolsey continued his story.

_Him and the shrink? Yeah, I can see it._ John nodded to himself. _Way to go, Woolsey!_

Movement to his left told him his seatmate had decided to tell her story. Oh, yeah. He knew it was a woman, could tell that the moment she sat down from the way his body once again reminded him of things he was better off not thinking about right now. She stood up and the leader brought the microphone.

"Hi, my name is Jennifer."

That was all she had to say to get his attention. His head snapped around to stare up at the woman who'd saved his life, listening as she too told her story of addiction and continuing quest for redemption. There was a round of applause as she sat down again, her face aglow. She must have sensed him watching her because she turned to him with a small smile. "What?"

"You, uh…"

"Yes, John. I'm a recovering gambling addict."

"What about…" John gestured helplessly in the vague direction of Woolsey.

"Him too. Why do you think he insisted on it being a condition of your employment? He saw it. We both did." Jennifer took him by the hand and urged him to his feet pulling him behind her. When they got outside, she held that hand between both of her smaller ones. "I know you're a loner, John, have been most of your life. But you need to understand that you don't have to go through this or anything else alone. I had my dad, Rodney, Sam, Mr. Woolsey, Derek, Ana, Tish. They can be _your_ support system too, if you let them."

As gently as possible, he pulled his hand from hers, shoving both into his pants pockets. "What do _I _know about making friends and influencing people?"

"Who's talking _people_? Take it one day at a time. Start with one person. Just one. Pretty soon, there'll be a second and a third. On and on it'll go and before you know it, you have a circle of friends who know all about you and like you anyway."

John thought about what Jennifer was saying knowing she was right. Trust had to start somewhere. Watching her feet, he let his eyes take a quick survey of her body language and facial expressions. With an internal snort at himself, he thought, _I'd bet good money she's telling the truth. _

~~O~~

Jennifer watched the top of John's head as one foot kicked a stone into the grass, waiting for his response. When he finally looked at her, she waited, holding her breath. He shifted his feet as he extended his right hand and she took it.

"Hi. My name is John and, uh, I'm a gambling addict."

She let a smile come to her face as she squeezed his hand. "Hi, John."

**Stargate Command**

**The Next Day**

Jennifer knocked on Sam's door and entered without waiting for permission her eyes going wide at the scene before her.

Sam and Rodney were sitting side by side on the sofa with a table in front of them. Sam was working at her laptop as was Rodney. That in itself wasn't unusual. What was strange was that Rodney had one hand on Sam's pregnant belly and the other was working at his laptop.

"Hi guys. Um, what's going on?"

"It's the only way they'll stay still long enough for me to get any work done."

"Okay. I know this is an imposition, Sam, but can we talk?"

"Uh-oh. Girl talk. I'll be in the conference room down the hall if you need me." Rodney scooped up his laptop and kissed Sam on his way to the door.

Watching Sam and Rodney together had Jennifer almost chickening out on what she wanted to say.

"So what happened between you and that detective?"

**TBC**


	11. Troublesome Transitions

**A/N:** Thanks as always to my Beta-buddy, ladygris. In case they helped and I don't remember, I'd also like to thank Shadows-of-Realm, dwparsnip, Lithane and DaniWilder.

Thanks,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 11**

**Troublesome Transitions**

Twisting her fingers together, Jennifer paced to the window and looked out at the Stargate. The ones here in the Milky Way were much larger than the ones in Pegasus and a dark gray in color. She preferred the ones in Pegasus. "Yes, it's about…him."

"So, talk."

"Every time I get around him it's like…" she made a sound of frustration, "…I'm not sure how to describe it. He makes me feel like I've never felt before. And I want to get closer to him but he's not that easy to know. It seems like he wants the same thing but, well, the other night, um…" pink stained her cheeks.

"You made the offer and he turned you down."

Jennifer nodded and turned to face her friend when she laughed. "Thanks for finding humor in my discomfort."

"Sorry. It's just that it was the same with Rodney. His break-up with Katie hurt him badly and he didn't want to rush into anything, so he took lots of cold showers. One day, I just stopped taking no for an answer."

"Oh. So you really think…"

A knock on the door came before Rodney stuck his head in. "Sorry to interrupt but I have to take a quick trip."

"Where?"

"San Francisco." He gave his wife a quick kiss, waved to Jennifer and was gone.

Jennifer sat down next to her friend as she closed the laptop and pushed it away. "How you feeling? Still dealing with the telekinesis?"

Nodding, Sam tried to get up but wasn't able to. With a loud huff she blew a few strands of hair off her forehead. "Actually, at times like this it comes in very handy though I'm trying not to get used to it just in case." She relaxed and said to the air, "Two bottles of water please." The small 'fridge opened, two plastic bottles floated out and over to land gently on the table in front of them. "Thanks." As she took a drink, her face twitched as if she were in pain.

"Sam?"

"It's okay. Been having Braxton Hicks contractions all day. They never get worse and come at irregular intervals." Sam sighed. "And don't think I didn't notice you've changed the subject."

With a shy sheepish smile, Jennifer opened her bottle and took a drink. "Mind if I ask a personal question?"

"Sure." She gestured at her belly. "_We_ are listening. Literally."

"How did you know…"

"…that _Rodney_ was the one?"

Jennifer nodded and looked down at her lap.

Sam smiled at the memory. "When we first met, it was like adding water to concentrated sulfuric acid."

"Boom?"

Sam mimed an explosion. "We loathed each other on sight. Every time we were forced to work together we got into a shouting match. I even decked him once." A laugh burst out of Jennifer and she slapped a hand over her mouth. "He didn't tell you?"

Jennifer couldn't help snickering at the picture Sam presented. "No."

"Gave him a black eye. It happened about a week before he got hit by the ascension machine and became a super-evolved human. The Ancients should have dismantled that thing instead of leaving it around for someone with his insatiable curiosity to stumble across." Sam made no effort to diminish the amount of scorn she had for the Ancients who'd almost deprived her of the man she eventually fell in love with and whose children she was having. "I don't even remember what the argument was about."

"Um, is this gonna be a flashback?"

Sam grinned and nodded. "Pretty much." Her hands rested on the upper curve of her belly. "The kids enjoy hearing stories about mom and dad."

"Then by all means, go ahead."

"I was on Atlantis studying the coronal mass ejection that almost destroyed Athos when Rodney and his team found the…Oh!"

"What is it?"

"Whoa! That was a _big_ one." Sam took a deep breath, held it then let it out. "Better now."

Sam continued with her story while Jennifer made a note of the time.

"As I was saying…"

**San Francisco**

**Beltway Apartments**

Evan emptied his pockets onto the dresser then hung his jacket in the closet. He removed the rest of his clothes except for his undershirt and boxers sitting wearily on the wooden trunk at the foot of his bed. His first day as an Inspector had been a long one. He would be riding with a man and woman who'd been partners for ten years for at least a month. At the end of that time, he'd be assigned a partner.

While he relished the chance to prove himself in this new position, he missed his old partner, whom he hadn't seen since the peace conference. He and Dr. Weir had left with a group from Stargate Command, headed for the secret base that his limited NDA hadn't allowed him to know the specifics of. Anthony's cell phone hadn't been answered when he called and no one at their substation had seen him. All they would say is Anthony was on leave.

Pushing a hand through his hair, he rested the other elbow on his knee debating on whether to go straight to bed or eat first. His musings came to an end when someone knocked on his door and he went to answer it.

"Yeah?" Evan perked up immediately at seeing the man he'd just been thinking about. "James."

"Hello, Evan. May we come in?"

Now Evan noticed that Anthony had someone with him, a scowling man about forty with a slightly receding hairline. He stood back to let them in, inviting them to sit while he went to the bedroom to get dressed, realizing belatedly that he was still in his underclothes. He pulled on slacks, a shirt, shoes and socks, returning to the living room via the kitchen where he started a pot of decaf. He didn't know why he added the footwear but instinct told him he'd need them.

His visitors were sitting on the sofa leaving the armchair for him. "What can I do for you?"

Anthony exchanged a glance with the other man. "This is Dr. Rodney McKay. We're here to…"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just cut to the chase. What did O'Neill tell you?" McKay kept glancing at his watch and rubbing his hands together agitatedly.

"About…?"

"Did he use the words Stargate, wormhole or Pegasus?"

"Uh…" The coffeemaker beeped and Evan went to get them each a cup. Both he and Anthony took theirs black and he assumed McKay did as well. He just seemed the type. McKay snatched the cup from his hand and downed a third of the hot liquid before setting it on the end table.

"Thanks. I haven't had coffee since my wife got pregnant."

Evan lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "To answer your question, Doctor, no. The words Stargate, wormhole and Pegasus never came up. What's going on?"

With a grin, Anthony got up and went to the kitchen, returning with a bottle of beer which he handed to Evan. "You'll need this after you've heard what we've come to say."

"Which is?"

As Anthony sat down again, McKay began his pitch. "In 1928, a device called the Stargate was discovered on an archaeological dig in Giza. The Stargate creates a stable wormhole allowing travel between two points in space, and with enough power, between galaxies…"

**Atlantis**

**Three Years Ago**

"She's here and she's _not_ leaving, Rodney. Get _over_ it." Elizabeth dismissed Rodney by opening her computer and going back to work.

Still sputtering with irritation, he left Elizabeth's office, crossed the bridge, took the stairs to the Gate Room and kept going until he reached his office. He needed to be in the lab but _she_ was working there and he couldn't get anything done when _she_ was around. Yeah, he knew her name and her rank with the Air Force. She reminded him of it all the time. And the worst part about her being here now was that she'd witnessed him being hit by the beam from the ascension machine. So far, the side effects have been minor. Enhanced hearing, sight, smell, appetite, telekinesis.

He'd just accessed the network remotely when the PA came to life. "AR-1 and Colonel Carter to the Gate Room immediately. AR-1 and Colonel Carter!"

~~O~~

Answering the summons, Sam and Rodney arrived at the same transporter at the same time.

"_What_ did you do _now_?" Rodney said accusingly as the door opened and he followed her in.

"Me? _I_ didn't do anything." Sam crossed her arms and stood as far from him as she could in the glorified closet. "_You're_ the one whose DNA is being altered. Maybe your telekinesis is getting out of control."

Rodney huffed. "My ability to move things with my super-evolved mind is working perfectly, thank you very much."

Sam made a sound indicative of scorn. "_Prove_ it."

"Any _time_, blue-eyes."

She rolled those blue eyes at the annoying nickname he'd given her completely ignoring the fact that his eyes were the same color. "_Now_ would be good."

"_Fine!_" He glanced around, his eyes looking past Sam to the wall behind her. Or so she thought. Without moving a muscle he concentrated and a second later the front of Sam's uniform started unbuttoning itself.

At first she didn't realize what was happening then she saw his smirk. When the fourth button came undone, she gasped, her arms dropping and her hands flexing at her sides. Growling, she took two steps forward as her right hand came up. His left arm just barely managed to deflect the strike. Her left arm followed the right automatically and hit his right cheek with a resounding _smack!_

"Oh, _now_ you've done it! Bring it on, Carter!"

Staring at him boldly, she exclaimed, "It's been brought, McKay!"

Knowing he wouldn't be able to best a career soldier in a real fight, Rodney used his superior upper body strength to trap Sam's arms at her sides with a bear hug. They struggled together banging into the wall, rolling back and forth, neither of them able to get the upper hand in the confined space.

Impatient to end this farce, Sam's fingers dug into the flesh of Rodney's waist making him convulse and dissolve into a fit of giggles. Using it to her advantage, she grinned wickedly as she held on tight when he tried to get away. They fell against the control panel, their legs entangling. A flash of light enveloped them and when they reappeared, they continued their downward descent coming to an abrupt stop with her on top of him.

~~O~~

The door of the transporter opened and Caldwell looked down at Sam and Rodney on the floor. "What's going on here?"

"Oh, Colonel, sir." Sam planted her hands on either side of Rodney and climbed to her feet. Brushing the short hairs off her forehead and breathing hard, she waited for Caldwell to speak again. When he didn't, she began trying to explain. "Uh…"

Beside her, Rodney got to his feet, straightening his clothes. "It was _my_ fault, Colonel. I tripped, she tried to catch me and…"

The no-nonsense military leader of Atlantis pierced Sam with a glare aimed at her forehead, his hands at his sides. "Lieutenant Colonel Cater, you're almost out of uniform." He made a perfect about face and joined Elizabeth in the Operations.

"Holy Hannah." Sam did up her buttons, stealing a quick glance at Rodney. The physicist kept his eyes averted and she actually felt something other than contempt for him because of it. When she started forward, he put a hand on her arm to stop her.

His voice lowered so only she could hear. "I'm, you know, sorry if I got you in trouble with your boss."

Her eyes dashed over his face and found only sincerity. For the first time, she actually smiled at him, trying not to show surprise when he smiled back because it changed him, made him look boyish. "No big." Rodney nodded and when he started forward, this time she stopped him. "But if you _ever_ do anything like that again, McKay, I know at least a hundred ways to kill you that would look like natural causes."

~~O~~

Sam walked alongside Rodney to the Operations area, part of her mind still on the incidents in the transporter and immediately after. The most surprising thing about it was she'd discovered that he really had cared about how Caldwell saw her. She never thought Rodney McKay, of all people, would think of anyone other than himself. But now she knew differently, and that made her rethink her assumptions about the obnoxious, arrogant, supercilious… She pushed those thoughts to the side as they climbed the last few steps to Operations.

~~O~~

Elizabeth gathered her people around her. "Major Teldy and her team are trapped in a building they were exploring." She nodded and Chuck activated the display. On it was a pyramid-shaped building with markings that looked Egyptian.

Sam stepped closer. "They look like hieroglyphics. I can read some of it." She pointed to one area. "I think this says something about danger…uh, and this symbol means intruders…" One hand pressed to her mouth in thought, she was interrupted by Rodney.

"…will be eliminated."

Sam nodded in agreement. "I don't know what the rest means. Where's…"

"Dr. Sontag, his assistants and AR-7 are on M22-766 studying some ruins that he said might be Incan."

"They're out of radio contact, Colonel, and aren't scheduled to check in for at least six hours," Chuck told her without being asked. He knew his job and did it very well. "We can recall them but it'll take some time." Chuck began doing just that at Elizabeth's nod.

Elizabeth faced the civilians and soldiers around her. "Rodney, take your team, AR-5 and Colonel Carter. See what you can do."

"Me? I don't know anything about…that." He waved a hand at the screen.

Sam scoffed. "Neither do _I _but we can't just leave them there…"

In response, Rodney huffed at her. "I _know_ that. No, I'm not refusing to go. I'm just saying…" he swung around. "Oh, yeah? Well, that's just _too damn bad_." He took off walking very fast. "I just need to pick up my equipment. _Yes_, I'll _meet_ you in the Jumper Bay. Five minutes."

When he'd gone the others exchanged perplexed looks. Sam voiced what they were all thinking. "What the hell was _that_ all about?"

~~O~~

Rodney was the last to arrive at the Jumper Bay causing him to complain about not being able to sit in his usual seat at shotgun. He took a seat in the back between two Marines and glared at the back of Sam's head. She ignored him as she always did.

On the ride from the Stargate to the city Rodney heard whispering from the people around him. If he concentrated, he could distinguish the words and one voice stood out.

_That McKay's a right old __prat. Thinks we're all a bunch of ghits. Why doesn't he just smeg off and let the rest of us do our jobs? _

Looking around, Rodney located the tech sitting across from him, but he wasn't talking. His attention was on the computer tablet in his hands though he could still hear the man's voice inside his head.

_I can read minds! This is cool!_

About ten minutes later Rodney revised his assessment of his new ability from cool down to aggravating. Mostly because he now knew what people thought of him and didn't like that they all thought the same as the tech if worded a little differently.

Pressing a hand to his forehead as if that would help, he managed to shut out all the voices but one. Only this time it wasn't the tech. It was Sam.

_I wish Daniel were here. He'd have them out in no time. If I'd only listened to what he was saying when he __prattled on about his precious dead languages. Maybe I can remember enough to save Teldy and her team._

_Argh! You can __do__ this, Carter. You only have to be around McKay a few more days then you'll be home where it doesn't matter how you feel about…_

"We're on approach, Dr. McKay." Captain Reed said from the pilot's seat. "ETA, three minutes."

~~O~~

Rodney and Sam stood staring at the front of the building scanners going full tilt while all but two of the soldiers did a recon of the perimeter reporting only the one entrance. For once, the physicist didn't purposely start an argument with Sam. The situation was far too dire to worry about their petty differences.

His concentration slipped and thoughts from Sam intruded into his mind. Within that intrusion he could see what she'd seen while on missions with Daniel Jackson though it had meant next to nothing to her at the time.

Sam jumped when he touched her on the arm and indicated they should speak in private. "Before you get mad at me, let me just say it started just before we left for this mission."

"What?"

He let out a long breath. "Mind reading." She didn't say anything, just gave him a wide-eyed stare. "I ignore it as best I can but… What I'm saying is, before I knew it, some of your thoughts came through." He held up a hand to stave off the angry response he knew was come, could feel in her mind. "I didn't 'read' anything embarrassing, I promise. But I did see enough to know that you have the knowledge inside you to solve the riddle of opening the pyramid and freeing AR-2 before whatever's going to happen happens."

"Yeah, so?" Sam was more than a little suspicious but thought it couldn't hurt to listen to what he had to say.

"If you're agreeable, and _only_ if you agree, you think about the missions with Daniel where his specialized knowledge was the deciding factor while I go in and pull it out." With as much honesty as he could, he made a solemn vow. "I promise _not_ to intrude in places that have nothing to do with the information we need. What d'you say?"

Thinking it over, Sam scanned his face much as she did after the transporter. If she'd been a betting woman, she'd say he was being completely truthful, no subterfuge. Reluctantly, she nodded. "Okay. Just remember what I said before."

"Do you really think I'd risk the lives of the team just for my own perverse pleasure?"

They stared at each other, Sam finally looking away and shaking her head. "No. Sorry if I gave that impression. So…what do I have to do?"

"Um, not sure. Wanna sit or stand?"

"Sit, I think."

Rodney followed her to stone that had fallen from one of the upper tiers. She laid her scanner and weapon aside, took a deep breath and nodded.

~~O~~

Closing his eyes, Rodney began searching Sam's memories. The knowledge they sought was there. He just had to find it.

Dr. Daniel Jackson, the foremost archaeological authority on the pyramids and their extraterrestrial origins had died of radiation poisoning several years back. Sam believed that Daniel had ascended but he'd never made an appearance to confirm it so she was skeptical of her conclusion. That no one in his scientific community knew that his theories had been proven correct troubled her considerably. He moved past that to what they would need to rescue Teldy, Mehra, Porter and Vega.

He quickly skipped over the memories of her childhood, teenaged years, university and her enlistment in the Air Force. By this time, she had her first doctorate and two Masters Degrees, just as he'd done and in the same subjects.

Now he could see that she and he were equals when it came to intellect though hers was tempered by a wisdom that he didn't possess. Without meaning to, he saw things, thoughts and feelings that he should never have seen. But he couldn't take the time now to wonder what they meant. The team didn't have much more time. If they didn't get them out soon, the pyramid would collapse in on itself, crushing and killing the four women.

Rodney had reached the place in her mind where what they needed was stored when the ground around them shook. More chunks of stone fell, the soldiers barely getting out of the way in time. He turned away from Sam to get an audio confirmation that everyone inside was alright then checked on the patrols.

What he didn't see was that while he was getting reports from the teams, an enormous stone had worked its way loose and was teetering on the edge about fifty meters above him. Sand continued to drift down the sides of the structure but Rodney's attention was on other things though Sam noticed.

"Rodney! Look out!" She tackled him to the ground, again landing on top of him. When he heard the stone slamming against the side as gravity drew it toward the ground, he wrapped both arms around her and rolled until she was under him to protect her.

The shaking stopped and Rodney slowly lifted his head and looked around. A feeling of warmth made him look down to see Sam's blonde head pressed to his chest. Both hands were clenched on his TAC vest.

"Sam! You okay?"

"Yeah. You?" She looked up at him then over his shoulder to see that they'd missed being crushed by no more than a meter. The stone had made an indention in the hard ground at least five centimeters deep. They both sagged, chuckling in relief until they realized they were still embracing, their bodies pressed together and legs entangled.

Rodney rolled quickly away as Ronon, Teyla, Reed and two other soldiers arrived to help them to their feet. The medics tried to check them over but were waved away.

Reaching into one of the many pockets of her uniform pants, she pulled out a bottle of water while Rodney did the same. "We better get back to it."

"What? Oh, not necessary." He stepped away to speak to Major Teldy, describing in detail what she and her team needed to do to get out. And it would take all four of them working together to do it. "Now do _exactly_ as I say _when_ I say, got it? Okay, look for a set of symbols…"

A few minutes later AR-2 emerged into the fading light of the planet's afternoon, battered but alive, Porter and Mehra supporting Vega between them. The medics rushed forward drawing the four women far enough away to be relatively safe from the still falling debris.

Sam watched them still thinking about a friend who was gone. _Can't believe how much I still miss Daniel. And no one will ever know what a wonderful man and gifted scientist he was._

The thoughts from Sam entered Rodney's mind before he could shut them out and it set _him_ to thinking about Daniel as well.

**Stargate Command**

**Present Day**

"That's _it?_"

"I just poured my heart out, told you my innermost secrets and all you can say is 'that's _it?_'" Sam groaned and rubbed her pregnant belly again.

"What do you _want_ me to say?"

"How about I tell you about the first time we…" Sam wiggled her eyebrows.

Jennifer blushed and looked away. "That would be _way_ too much information about either of you. Um, first kiss."

"Good. 'Cause I _really_ didn't wanna go there. Ready?"

Nodding, Jennifer grinned as she snuck a look at the clock again. _Six and a half minutes. Almost time._

**TBC**


	12. While We're Making Other Plans

**A/N: **When I started this story, ladygris gave me lots of encouragement to write it. We spend hours emailing and IM-ing to get some of the kinks worked out or to talk out a specific storyline. I can never thank her enough for her help. God Bless her and her family.

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 12**

**While We're Making Other Plans**

**Atlantis**

**Three Years Ago**

Sam was working in the lab she'd been assigned while in Atlantis. Actually, she'd appropriated it with the help of Elizabeth Weir finding great satisfaction in getting under McKay's skin on a daily basis. Until today. Well, at first it had been fun. The snide remarks, the veiled and not so veiled insults, the challenges. And he'd come back at her, giving as good as he got. Though she'd been angry at the time, especially after Caldwell had seen them in what could have been deemed a compromising position, she thought using his power of telekinesis to unbutton her uniform had been the perfect example of the control he had over it.

Radek entered and came to stand in front of her waiting to be noticed.

"Something I can do for you, Dr. Zelenka?"

He handed her a flash drive. "This was left for you."

"Oh. Thanks." She stuck it in the side of her computer, the files automatically opening. "What the _hell?_ Where'd you get this?"

"From Rodney. What is it?"

"It's a book about Dr. Daniel Jackson, a biography. There're some gaps but it pretty much covers his entire life." Sam pushed away from the desk and headed out the door and was back within seconds. "Um, where is Rodney?"

"I believe he's in his quarters."

"Thanks. Where are they?"

~~O~~

Rodney came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. Pulling it off, he dried his back, chest, arms and legs and tossed it in the laundry basket in the corner. He'd just pulled his pajamas on when the chime announced a visitor. With a sigh that spoke of advanced tiredness, he opened the door. "Colonel Carter. I didn't…what uh…"

"You can call me Sam."

"Okay." He stood back to let her in. "To what do I owe this exceptionally late visit?" His tone was a reprimand and he realized it before she could call him on it. "Sorry. Go ahead."

"I just…Daniel was a good friend, like a brother to me and…" Sam looked down at her feet.

"You still miss him. I didn't have to read your mind to know that. It's all, uh, stuff that I saw in your mind when we were…" He trailed off, awkward silence entering the room.

"Well, thank you." Sam turned for the door then came back. "Why?"

Rodney couldn't look at her, at the penetrating stare that had unsettled him from the day they met. "While I was searching your memories, I could see everything and knew how much it would mean to you to have the world know what a good man he was. And, well, I sort of wanted to…make up for all the arguments we had. Some of which were my fault."

"Some?" Sam snorted. "Try most." She covered her mouth with her hand to stop a laugh.

Rodney chuckled and when his eyes met hers, he saw, well he wasn't sure what it was and refused to cheat by peeking into her mind. She took a single step toward him spinning away when the sound of an explosion rumbled through the area. They were already out the door when Chuck's voice came over the PA.

"Explosion in auxiliary science lab three! Medical and all available personnel to the scene immediately!"

~~O~~

Rodney, Sam and Elizabeth arrived at the scene of the explosion at the same time. Elizabeth calling out orders and demanding answers. The medics, led by Carson, Amanda and head nurse Marie, swarmed over the area triaging the injuries. Most were minor, a few were serious. One was fatal.

Peter Kavanagh had been closest to the blast, his face a mass of burns and blood. His clothing shredded and burnt showing massive injuries to his torso. Much of his long hair had been burnt as well. His left leg had a compound fracture of the tibia and fibula that bent his lower leg at a grotesque angle. Two medics straightened the leg as best they could and splinted it. The look they shared told the onlookers that it would more than likely be a futile gesture.

"Clear!" The high-pitched whine of the defibrillator reached Rodney over the other sounds. "Again!" Carson and Amanda tried a few more times to restart Kavanagh's heart but he'd lost too much blood and his injuries were too severe. His heart refused to beat. Carson looked at Amanda. "Call it."

The blonde doctor glanced at her watch. "2127."

"Okay, let's get everyone to the Infirmary. Those that are ambulatory can be taken to the secondary Infirmary on level twenty-four."

Not wanting to watch, Rodney turned his back on the carnage, turning sharply when Sam touched him on the shoulder. They were all his people and she knew he would take their injuries personally just as she would in his place. After giving her hand a squeeze, he started to leave, to go to a workstation to begin to track down the cause of the explosion but stopped when something whispered at the edges of his mind. Flexing his fingers he turned around and pushed his way to Kavanagh's side.

Yanking back the blanket covering Kavanagh he passed his hands over his chest, head and leg. Carson and Elizabeth were speaking to him but he ignored them. He placed his hands on the chest of the one staff member who was universally detested by the entire science and research department as well as almost everyone else on the base.

Closing his eyes, Rodney concentrated and the skin under his palms began to warm. Someone gasped but he couldn't be bothered to figure out who it was. A red glow began where he touched Kavanagh's bare skin spreading out until it had encompassed his entire body. The wounds on his body shrank in on themselves then were gone. His leg straightened and healed. Seconds later, Kavanagh drew in a shuddering breath and thirty seconds later his eyes fluttered open.

Pulling away, Rodney looked down at his hands in horror, muttered, "Oh, crap" and hurried from the area without looking back.

**San Francisco**

**Beltway Apartments**

Evan listened to Rodney speak but after a while the words began to mean nothing. He shouldn't have been surprised at anything after finding out about snakes that could take over your mind and body.

Finally, the scientist stopped talking and Evan took a long drink of his beer. Setting it aside, he jumped when a beep came from Rodney's direction. He watched him lift a hand to his ear and talk to the air.

"McKay…_what_? Yes, yes. Pick us up immediately!" He stood. "We have to go."

"Go? Go where?"

"No time. We have to go _now_!" Rodney took something from his pocket while Evan made sure the coffee pot was turned off and rejoined them in the living room. Anthony drew him closer and suddenly the three of them were gone.

Evan barely had time to register that they were on what looked like a spaceship, if that was Earth he could see out the window, before they appeared in a large room dominated by an enormous ring with a ramp.

Rodney didn't even excuse himself, just took off running. Anthony looked up at a man behind a window. The room behind him was filled with computer equipment. "What's up, Walter?"

"The General's in labor."

**Las Vegas**

**GA Meeting Hall**

John handed back the microphone and resumed his seat to applause. He'd done it. He'd gotten up in front of a bunch of strangers and told them about his life of addiction. And they hadn't laughed at him. In fact, the people around him continued to pat him on the shoulder and congratulate him on being gambling free for nearly two months. One of the people was Woolsey.

Angel hadn't been here though he'd wished she was, but he understood her reason for staying at the SGC. Carter was due to have those kids any day now and she wanted to be there for her friend. He also wondered what McKay was up to. He hadn't seen the man since the day he found out he was going to be a father. Now that he was almost a hundred percent John wanted to thank him for having faith in his abilities and to wish him and the General luck.

As he passed his old gambling stomping grounds, he thought about catching a quick hand or four of poker but the look on Angel's face when he'd confessed his addiction and Woolsey's nod of approval kept him from doing more than flicking on the turn signal. He turned it off then cut across three lanes of traffic amidst honking horns and shouted oaths to make the left turn that would take him back to Area 52. Hopefully he'd get to see Angel again soon. Eventually she'd want to talk about the kiss though he could go _years _without it. _No sense in worrying about it now._

After the security ritual at the front gate, John went to his room and changed into the set of scrubs he'd appropriated for workout clothes then went to the therapy room to run on the treadmill.

**Atlantis**

**Three Years Ago**

Sam helped take the injured to the Infirmary then went in search of Rodney finally locating him in the main lab. Every computer was being utilized as well as the white boards though even she had trouble understanding the math it was so far advanced. But that wasn't what she'd come for. It didn't take a mind reader to see that he was disturbed by the fact that he could now heal with a touch.

Rodney didn't notice her at first, his mind busy with other pursuits. She watched him sit at one of the workstations, one hand to his head as if it hurt or he was having trouble concentrating. "Hey."

"Oh, uh, hi."

"Um, what you did back there, I know you and Kavanagh didn't get along…"

"We _loathed_ each other." He didn't even look up, just kept working.

"I know. That's why it was a good thing you did. You saved the life of a man who had already been declared dead. If you hadn't helped him, no one would have known."

"_I_ would have known."

"So tell me what's really bothering you." Sam came to stand close enough to Rodney that the acrid smell of smoke stung her nose.

Realizing she was near, he got up and moved away from her facing the wall. "It's…you see, what it is…I'm…afraid."

"Of?"

"Myself." His voice dropped to almost a whisper and held his hands in the air looking at them as if they weren't really his. "If I can heal with just a touch, then I can kill with a touch just as easily." When he didn't hear her leave, he spun around, a mixture of fear and anger on his face. "Didn't you hear what I _said_? Get _out _before…"

Sam moved closer, reaching out to wrap her fingers around his wrist. "I'm not afraid of you, Rodney. Never have been. Never will be."

Jerking his arm free, he turned away in embarrassment. "I know. I, uh, can't help reading your thoughts sometimes. Your mind is so strong it…penetrates my shield and there it is. Every thought, every feeling."

Grinning, Sam looked down at the floor then back up. "That sounds suspiciously like a compliment."

Now he was actually blushing. "Well, uh, it is."

"Hmm. There's hope for you after all, McKay." Taking the last few steps forward until they were but six inches apart, she waited for him to look at her. "So, what am I thinking now?"

His forehead creased in thought though Sam could see that he wasn't really trying. That's why he almost jumped when she grabbed his shirt front with both hands, pulled him up against her and kissed him. She felt his hands come up and gently wrap around her upper arms, sliding up and down making her want to moan it felt so good.

Rodney's hands stilled on her arms and began squeezing. They kept squeezing until it started to hurt. Taking her lips from his, she tried to break his hold but couldn't. "Ow! Rodney, you're hurting me." But he couldn't hear her as his eyes stared straight ahead, his grip continuing to tighten.

Sam twisted her body to break his hold. He stood there for a moment then slowly collapsed to the floor, his body shaking with the force of his seizure. "Medical to Dr. McKay's lab immediately. Medical to Dr. McKay's lab!"

**Stargate Command**

**Present Day**

"Oh, my God!"

Jennifer took one look at her friend's face, checked the time and smiled. Getting to her feet, she moved the table and extended both hands. "Come on. Up you go."

Sam got to her feet, one hand rubbing her belly and the other at her back. "Wow! I didn't think Braxton-Hicks were supposed to be that painful."

"Your eyes just bugged out, Sam. False labor does _not_ make your eyes bug out." With a grin, Jennifer took Sam's hand and led her to the door. "You are in real labor, my friend. We need to get you to the Infirmary."

"Are you sure because…whoa!" Sam squeezed Jennifer's hand until her fingers turned white.

Retrieving her aching hand, Jennifer flexed her fingers to restore the circulation. She put that arm around Sam's waist and guided her to the elevator in the back that was seldom used. No way would she risk having Sam fall down the stairs. They got out a short time later to find Cam Mitchell, Teal'c, Walter and Siler waiting.

Even in intense pain, Sam was still the consummate soldier. "Mitchell, you're in charge. Walter, call my husband and let him know what's going on. And Siler…Ooow!" Sweat beading up on her face and neck, Sam leaned against the wall breathing deeply until the contraction passed.

Over her shoulder Jennifer said, "Siler, run to the Infirmary and get a wheelchair. These babies are doing _everything_ fast."

"Yes, ma'am." The maintenance tech broke into a jog, turning the corner out of sight.

Teal'c supported Sam on the other side for the next few steps until she almost collapsed. Without asking or waiting be told, he scooped her up in his arms and hurried toward the Infirmary.

~~O~~

Rodney, Evan and Anthony appeared in the Gate Room of the SGC and a second later the physicist was gone. Evan just looked around trying to take it all in. He jumped when Anthony laid a hand on his shoulder and gave him an understanding smile.

"I felt the same way the first time I saw it."

Still staring up at the Stargate, Evan tried to respond. "Um, what, uh…how…is that…"

"The Stargate? Yeah. Impressive isn't it?"

Evan moved toward it as if hypnotized. He stepped onto the ramp and walked up to the ring, his eyes following the circle around to the opposite side. Pointing at the thing, he faced Anthony. "This is the thing that lets people travel to…other planets?"

His former partner crossed his arms. "Yeah. Wanna try it?"

"Uh…not just yet. I'm still getting used to my partner having a snake in his head."

Anthony's eyes flashed, the grin changing to a smile. "We are not snakes but we do not take offense at being called such."

"Oh, good. Why, uh…why…"

"Why were James and I joined?" Bentaresh tucked his hands behind his back and began walking indicating that Evan should follow. "After his wife perished, James fell into a depression. Unfortunately, he thought the pain in his stomach was a symptom and did not consult a doctor until it was too late. The cancer in his pancreas had spread to many of the surrounding organs.

"His father is very well connected within your government and was able to convince your president to allow his son to be considered as a host. You see, my previous host, Maysa had been severely injured in a fight with the Goa'uld. So much so that I could keep her alive for a time but not completely heal her wounds. If James had not agreed to the joining, we would both be dead."

The two men reached the Mess Hall and Bentaresh went to get them each something cold to drink. When he returned, Anthony was back. "If Jendayi hadn't come out of hiding when she did, I would have told you everything, with or without the NDA."

"You could have trusted me, you know."

Anthony nodded. "That's why I asked O'Neill to bring you in."

Silence fell between them for a while then Evan asked, "So what happens now? Are they going to take, uh…"

"Bentaresh."

"Yeah. Are they taking him out now that you're cured?"

"No. If he were removed, the cancer would come back and I'd be dead within three months." His smile gone now, he stood and Evan followed him from the room. "After we've been debriefed, I'm leaving Earth to live with the Tok'ra." A few minutes later they were back in the Gate Room.

"Where're we going now? Area 51?"

Anthony was in control again and laughed as he signaled Walter. "Area 51 is for _amateurs_. _We_ are going to Area 52."

**Area 52**

**Evening**

Before Evan could respond, he was again aboard the spaceship. Another flash of light and they appeared in the lobby of what looked like a typical office building. The furniture was all in natural tones with spots of color here and there. Pillows on the sofa, prints on the walls, and a set of lamps in a Southwestern design.

Taking out a keycard, Anthony let them into a secure area and a confused Evan followed. Stopping at the nurse's desk, the Tok'ra made an inquiry. Before long they were at the therapy room watching a man with black hair run on the treadmill. He must have been at it a while because his shirt was soaked with sweat.

"What are we doing here?"

"You're about to meet your new partner."

**Air USA**

**Flight 1382**

**Business Class **

**Seats 24a and 24b**

Traveling commercial while on vacation, the man looked up from his magazine to one of the most delightful scenes he could possibly imagine. A woman in a white silk blouse and dark gray slacks stood next to him however, all he could see was from her neck to her thighs, her breasts even with his eyes. The front was pulled taut creating gaps between the buttons and giving him a tantalizing view of her lacey push-up bra. If she could see his expression she'd be yelling "red light" at the top of her lungs causing him to be summarily ejected from the flight. Not being one to exploit his position, he'd go without a fuss.

Without warning, the overhead slammed and she lowered her arms, hitching her purse higher on her shoulder. "Excuse me. I'm in the window seat."

Belatedly, his gentlemanly ways kicked in. He stepped into the aisle so she could get in without climbing over him then resumed his seat. She buckled her seatbelt, tucked her purse next to her and spent the time before takeoff staring out the window. He took the opportunity to watch her profile. She seemed sad yet expectant, as if something really important were about to happen.

Once the plane was in the air, she turned from her contemplations to find him watching her. She didn't say anything, just lifted one eyebrow in question.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to stare." He let a smile come to his face. "May I say that you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. I know it sounds like a line, but it's true. I've never seen turquois eyes before." She ducked her head shyly, a light pink coming to her cheeks that he found utterly charming.

"Thanks. Um, where're you headed?"

"Changing planes in Dallas then it's off to visit my family in the bustling metropolis of Falling Rock, Nebraska."

She covered her mouth with her hand to stop the laugh that threatened to escape. "Sorry. It's just that I'm from Outtake, Texas. Nice to meet another small townie in the big city."

"Where are _you_ headed?"

"My job just transferred me to DC. I start next Monday."

"This _is_ a small world. I'm coming from TDY in California, but my main base of operations is DC. Maybe, when I get back, we'll run into each other."

Shrugging, her smile dimmed a little. "DC's a big place."

With a smile, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. Extracting a business card, he passed it to her. "Maybe this will increase our chances. I'm back around the first of the month. Call me and we'll have a cup of overpriced coffee together. That way, if we discover we don't like each other after all, no harm done. If we do, then the next step is lunch or dinner." Tucking the card into her purse, she turned another of her bright smiles on him waiting and he finally figured it out. "Oh, uh, maybe I should introduce myself. Lieutenant Colonel Paul Davis, USAF, at your service."

They shook hands. "Melissa. Melissa Stone."

**Stargate Command**

**Infirmary**

As Rodney neared the Infirmary, he heard his wife's voice raised in pain and anger. Coming to a halt just in front of the entrance, he debated retreating to their quarters and waiting for it to all be over. The only thing that stopped him from doing exactly that was the thought of missing the birth of his children, the only ones they might ever have. Daniel and Olivia were miracles and he _had_ to be there. Cringing, he entered and made his way to Sam's side.

"Oooowww! This is all HIS fault! That MAN is _never_ laying a hand on me again!"

Jennifer's soothing voice broke through Sam's tirade. "Now, Sam. You don't mean that. You and Rodney can't keep your hands off of each other."

Sagging back onto the pillow, sweat making her fair skin shine and plastering her hair to her forehead while she panted. "True. Can I have some water?"

"Sorry. Just ice chips." Jennifer and Carolyn standing together and examining the VS monitors hooked up to mother and children, conferred quietly.

"Hey." Rodney tentatively touched Sam's shoulder certain she'd take a swing at him. Given what she was saying when he came in, he was pleasantly surprised when she grabbed his hand.

"Rodney! I'm so glad you're here."

The expression on her face changed to loving and sweet. Her emotions were usually subtle in the presence of others but he could read her like a kid's book. He leaned down to give her a kiss. "Me too, honey."

Sam squeezed his hand as another contraction hit. "Ooooohhh! Please tell me this will be over soon."

Carolyn patted the hand that had a death grip on the bed rail. "It will be, Sam. It will be." She shooed all their friends away as she and Jennifer wheeled the bed into the surgical theater. While a team of nurses prepped Sam for the big event, the doctors took Rodney with them to scrub up.

A few minutes later, Rodney was in a gown and holding Sam's hand again. Every time she had a contraction she squeezed so hard he was certain his fingers would break. His metacarpals must have known how important this was because they stayed intact.

Jennifer rolled a stool into place at the end of Sam's bed and lifted the drape over the lower half of her body. "Okay, time for a little check. Oh my." Her tone and facial expression were neutral but they all knew her well enough to know something was going on.

"What?" Rodney asked with a slight tremor of fear in his voice.

Carolyn moved around to look over her colleague's shoulder. "Huh." Straightening, she smiled at the parents. "These kids _are_ in a hurry. We can see the top of a head."

The monitor beside the bed beeped but the doctors didn't even spare it a glance. Sam started groaning in pain as did Rodney when she squeezed his hand again.

Jennifer positioned herself to make the first catch. "Okay, Sam. Time to push!"

**TBC**


	13. The Most Important Things in Life

**A/N:** I know the last few chapters centered on Sam, Rodney and the birth of their children. It was a storyline that I wanted to get out of the way so I could concentrate on the rest of the story. But now John and Evan are back better than ever. LOL

Never fear. Rodney, Sam and the twins will make periodic appearances, but as recurring characters. From now on, it's John and Evan all the way with the occasional appearance of OC's and maybe a few crossover characters. And in the upcoming chapters, we'll find out a little more about what makes John tick.

Also, thanks to ladygris for being a beauteous Beta babe! Huzzah!

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 13**

**The Most Important Things in Life**

**Area 52**

**Evening**

David looked at his watch for the tenth time in three hours. Aside from a brief glimpse the previous Friday when she'd left in the company of Woolsey and Adams, he hadn't seen or spoken to Jennifer since the day she'd been rejected by Sheppard. She could be busy though he thought it more likely that she was avoiding him, hoping he'd forget all about their arrangement. Not much chance of that.

He picked up the cordless headset, slipped it over his ear and called Melissa's office. She'd be able to tell him the last time Jennifer was on the premises and if she was here now.

"_Mr. Woolsey's office_."

The woman's voice was laced with irritation. It also was not the one David had expected. "Who is this?"

A long sigh greeted him. "_Sheila_."

"Where's Melissa?"

"_Gone. What do you need?_"

His face pinched in puzzlement, David responded to her short, clipped answers with similar tones. "I _need_ to speak to Melissa. This is David Magee. You might know me better as your boss."

The woman snorted. "_My__ boss's name is Richard Woolsey. And I __told__ you. Melissa is __gone_."

Holding onto his temper with difficulty, he clenched the arm of his chair tightly. "She doesn't go home for another hour."

With a sigh that spoke of infinite patience that was coming to an end, Sheila told him, "_Gone for good. Transferred._"

Transferred? _She must've been head over heels in love with me if she had to get away so quickly. _"Then I need _you_ to tell me if Dr. Keller is here."

"_Nope. Not here_."

"How do you know? You didn't even check."

"_That's 'cause you aren't the first person to ask about her. She's __not__ here_."

David knew who it had been but asked anyway. "Who else has been making inquiries?"

"_That new agent. He's been in here at least three times today_."

"Then where is she?"

Again she snorted then he heard her taking a drink of something. "_Same place most doctors are when their patient is about to give birth, in the delivery room._"

_So she hasn't been avoiding me_. "When was the last time she was on the property?"

"_Just a sec_." In the background he could hear the clicking of the keyboard. "_Few days ago, but just for a couple of hours. She left about 1900, returned at 2218 and transported out a couple minutes later. Hasn't been back since._"

Without another word, David yanked the headset off and tossed it on the desk. He gathered his belongings together and left for the day.

Moments later, two men transported into the lobby area. The taller of the two men swiped his keycard and let them both into the secure area.

~~O~~

John shut off the treadmill, took a long drink of water and wiped his face with the towel he'd brought from his room. He turned sharply when someone called his name.

"Shepp?"

"Anthony." He didn't extend his hand and neither did Anthony. "Haven't seen you around. Where you been?"

The Tok'ra shrugged. "Around. I've come to introduce you to your new partner. That is _if_ he decides to take the job."

Giving Anthony's companion a cursory glance he thought the man looked familiar but couldn't place him. "And why wouldn't he? This joint's a barrel of laughs."

The Tok'ra grinned. "Evan Lorne, I'd like you to meet Special Agent John Sheppard."

Evan didn't smile. In fact, his whole demeanor had turned hostile, the blue of his eyes deepening to gray-blue with the change in his emotions, his tone turning frosty. "We've met."

"Excuse me?"

Tucking his hands behind his back to keep from taking a swing at John, Evan clenched one hand into a fist. "Does the name First Lieutenant Lee Womack ring any bells?"

Though he tried not to change his expression, some of what John was thinking must have gotten through.

Anthony looked from one to the other. "Am I missing something here?"

"No. But if you expect me to be partners with _him_…" Evan pointed a finger in John's direction without looking at him, "…you can take this job…and shove it." With that parting shot, John watched Evan stalk from the room.

~~O~~

Anthony caught up with Evan in the hall. "How do you know him?"

"We did a tour in Afghanistan at the same time. There was an…incident and because of it, I lost someone I was close to." Evan started walking again, turning corners trying to find a way out until he reached a locked door. "There was a hearing. The records were sealed. All this time I thought he was rotting in Leavenworth, paying for what he'd done. Now I find out he's _here_ doing God knows what. It's just…"

"I'm sorry for your loss. Nothing I can say will make it better. But you should know that you were both handpicked for this special unit."

_And that makes it better how?_ "What _kind_ of unit?"

Anthony shrugged. "Sort of like the _X-Files_, but with real aliens."

Rubbing his forehead as if a headache were coming on, Evan paced back and forth a few times. "So we're gonna be alien hunters."

"Yeah. " Anthony shoved his hands in his pockets. "So, what's it gonna be?"

**Stargate Command**

**Infirmary**

Carolyn picked up a pair of scissors and handed them to Rodney then returned to Jennifer's side, ready with a blanket to wrap the first baby when he or she emerged.

"What's this for?"

Jennifer smiled distractedly, raising one hand and making snipping motions with two fingers. "For cutting the umbilical cords."

The room spun and he began to sway. "Oh crap. I'm gonna pass out."

Sam let go of his hand, grabbed the sleeve of his gown and shook him hard. "Get ahold of yourself, McKay!" Her voice was strained, almost a whimper. She'd closed her eyes. "I can't _do_ this without you! Please, Rodney…"

The near-panic in her voice, something he'd never heard from her before, finally got through to him. Willing the dizziness to recede, he again took her hand, his back straightening and his confidence coming back. The woman he loved needed him. Their children needed him. "You can do this, McKay!" The pep talk with himself done, he turned all of his attention to his wife. "Okay, honey. Get ready to push."

"Aaaaahhhhh! I'm DEFINITLY ready!"

"Good 'cause here comes the first one," Carolyn said with a smile. Moments later she was announcing, "It's a boy! And he's perfect." Not long after that, the next one made an appearance. "And here's the girl. Also perfect!" Both babies were screaming as if to say "Put me baaaack!"

Rodney reached around the drape to snip the cords, tears threatening each time, returning to Sam's side to take her hand again. He marveled at the thought that someone like him, someone who, until he'd found Sam, had seldom looked outside himself, could have helped create two tiny lives that would be totally and completely dependent on their parents for everything. _We never thought this would happen and I'm not sure I can do this._ Then he looked at Sam's face covered in sweat, her blue eyes shining and knew. He just…knew.

When it was all over but the screaming from the babies, he kissed her and brushed the hair from her forehead. "You did great, Mom."

Sam gave him a relieved grin. "You too…Dad."

Jennifer and Carolyn nestled the babies into the arms of their parents. "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Trade places with me _then _ask me that." Adjusting her position in the bed, Sam looked at Rodney then at their children. "All worth it though."

~~O~~

Though he hadn't been the one to experience the contractions, Rodney agreed wholeheartedly with his wife.

Daddy.

He was a father now. Sitting in a chair beside his wife's bed, his daughter protected in the shelter of his arms close to his heart, Rodney did something he hadn't done in years. He already knew Daniel and Olivia would be loved. That was a given. But now he prayed, starting with a verse from the bible he remembered from his childhood.

_I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. _

He prayed with everything he had that his children would be well and happy every day of their lives. With the resources of the Ancients at his disposal, it was virtually assured, but it didn't hurt to hedge his bets.

His only real worry was the telekinesis. It hadn't manifested itself since a short time before they emerged into the world and he hoped the incidents were over, but he couldn't be sure. No one _could_ considering they had no idea he still retained the ability albeit greatly reduced from when he'd been changed by the ascension machine. If they continued, life with these little ones would get very interesting very quickly. Not that it wasn't now but if they still had the power to influence the world around them with just a thought, it would get even more so when they were old enough to get angry or upset.

Putting his fears aside, he looked up to see his wife watching their son with something akin to amazement. He knew the same look was in his eyes, mostly because of the very short span of time they had to get ready for the birth. Most couples found out they were going to be parents and had several months to prepare. They'd had barely one.

There was a tentative knock on the door and Rodney gestured Cam, Teal'c, Siler, Walter, Carolyn and, surprise, surprise, Jack O'Neill into the room.

Cam was the one to speak for the group. "How's everyone doing?"

"Tired." Sam knew she looked bedraggled but refused to let it bother her. These people were her friends. They'd seen her looking far worse. "So Godfathers, would you like to hold your godchildren?" Cam came forward to take the boy holding him as if he thought he might explode. Sam chuckled softly. "He's _not_ a live grenade, Cam. _Relax_."

"Easy for _you_ to say. I haven't held one in a long time and I'm not likely to have one of my own for a while." He looked to the side when Carolyn, now holding the girl, nudged his shoulder.

"You never know, Mitchell. You never know." Carolyn gave Cam a cheeky grin meant to disconcert and it did. She smirked and turned to the others. "Okay, boys, who wants to hold her?"

Siler and Walter both raised their hands. "I do!" Their faces fell when Jack stepped forward.

"I'm next." The head of Homeworld Security easily cradled the little girl in both arms as he peered into the small face. "What're their names?"

Rodney took Sam's hand. "The girl is Olivia Jean…"

"…and the boy is Daniel Jackson," Sam finished with a quick glance at Jack to see his reaction.

~~O~~

Jack nodded his approval of both names, the boy's name making him think of his friend and the enthusiasm with which Daniel had approached life and work. And how much he missed his long-winded explanations that only he and Sam understood.

Charlie was in college now, a physics major, but he remembered the day his son came into the world as if it had just happened. If he could have chosen who his son would be most like, he'd have chosen someone who was _not_ McKay. The boy…_man_ was more like the physicist than either of his parents which annoyed Jack on a near daily basis.

"Uh, sir," Walter addressed his superior officer bringing him out of his thoughts. "May I?"

"Oh, sure." Jack passed Olivia to the Master Sergeant while Cam handed Daniel to Siler.

Jack watched the men look at each other and grin. He'd almost laughed when Sam had told him she couldn't decide who to name as the godfather so she'd chosen Cam, Walter _and_ Siler. Rodney had chosen a member of his team, Teyla, as the godmother. While he didn't know the Athosian well, he had the sense that she would be perfect for the job. Though childless, Teyla had the strength of mind, the _will_ to do what is right for those around her. She would see to it that no harm came to the children or their parents as long as she was able to do something about it.

Hands in his pockets, Jack watched Siler and Walter huddled together with the babies speaking in soft tones about who knew what and wished that he and his wife had been able to have more than one of their own. On the way back to DC, he made a note to stop at Sarah's grave. And Daniel's.

~~O~~

Sam watched Jack's expression turn pensive. She knew he was thinking about Sarah, her death from ovarian cancer six years before and his friend Daniel. About a year after her death, she and Jack had an intimate relationship that only lasted a few short months. Since then, they'd remained friends. He was still her CO and they treated each other in the proscribed military manner in public. In private they were friendly, but not overly so, calling each other by their first names and never mentioning the brief interlude they'd shared so many years ago. They still cared about each other as more than friends, but not as much as lovers.

Carolyn finally broke into the joyous atmosphere. "Okay, everyone out and let my patients rest. You can come back later during regular visiting hours."

Reluctantly, Walter and Siler transferred the babies to their parents and left the room. With one last backward glance, Jack and Sam exchanged a smile before he closed the door.

**Area 52**

**Break Room**

Anthony set a cup of coffee in front of Evan then seated himself. Evan had never mentioned the incident that killed his friend and he could see that it still hurt after so many years. He didn't want to cause him more distress but he needed more information before he proceeded. "Tell me about Lee."

Not wanting to talk about it but knowing he should, Evan leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee. Placing the cup on the table, he crossed one leg over the other. "Lee and I had been together since we were kids. Her family lived just down the block from mine. Our parents were good friends. She was an only child and her mother and father were devastated when she was killed. A few years later they died in a massive pile-up on the highway when a freak winter storm dumped twenty inches of ice and snow on all of the upper northwestern US and parts of British Columbia within less than an hour creating the first ever whiteout for the area."

"I'm sorry." His friend twisted his own cup back and forth, watching the dark liquid swirl and ripple. "You're certain you can't work with Sheppard? As partners go, he's no me."

Evan gave him a grin. "But then who is?"

"And you could do worse." Anthony waited.

"You have a point." Talking about Lee brought back some of his good humor as if she were there in the room with them doing her darnedest to make him laugh. "Though, right now, I'm not certain of anything."

"I know the two of you aren't going to be the best of buddies at first, if ever. But what you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, everything you've done has brought you to _this_ moment. You can continue to live in the past…or start over." Anthony watched Evan thinking it all over. "All you gotta do is decide if you want in on one of the _coolest_ jobs on the planet or walk away because you can't stand your partner."

Evan sipped from his cup then placed it back on the table pushing it around with one finger as his mind swirled with the possibilities. Dropping his foot back to the floor, he leaned forward, resting his arms on the table and clasping his hands together. _Keep your friends close and your enemies closer._ "Tell me more."

For an answer, Anthony pushed away from the table, waited for Evan to join him and together they walked down the hall to Woolsey's office. The balding man stood when introduced to Evan then invited the two former cops to sit and spent the next thirty minutes going over the details of the job they were offering him.

In the end, Evan signed the contract, the new and improved NDA and accepted his new ID, access card which would also get him into the SGC, the DC offices of Homeworld security and Area 51. The weapon he was handed was identical to his off-duty piece, a black Glock.

Seldom leaving before Woolsey did, Sheila was still in her office down the hall, and was more than willing to set him up with computer access and email. She also assigned him to the room across from Sheppard's and Evan accepted it without fuss thinking it would be easier to keep an eye on the man who was responsible for Lee's death. He wanted to know how the man could possibly live with himself knowing he'd been to blame for the preventable deaths of twelve people and being here was the way to find out.

**Employee Quarters**

**Room 2B**

One of the few personal belongings John still had, aside from his Johnny Cash CD and the poster, was his wallet. Taking it from the dresser he opened it and dug down in the little compartment under his driver's license, pulling out a scrap of paper worn with age and having been folded and refolded many times.

He unfolded it again, using his fingers to hold it flat so he could read what was written there. Twelve names. Many times he was tempted to add his own name to the list but didn't.

_Field Medic Caitlin O'Connor_

_First Lieutenant Lee Womack_

_Staff Sergeant Eloy Salazar_

_Second Lieutenant Virgil Justice_

They were followed by the names of the eight civilians who had also perished, two of which were children. The one thing he was thankful for was that it wasn't longer. Several soldiers on the ground were injured as well when the chopper crashed into the convoy but he was the only one from inside the chopper to survive.

He'd never figured out how a man who'd been disowned by his family and joined the military in lieu of prison time for a crime he hadn't actually committed could have made it out alive while others had died.

Shoving the paper back into his wallet he took out the pendent, rubbing his thumb over the cross. With a huff of frustration, he tossed it back in the drawer and slammed it so hard it rocked.

After lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling for over an hour without going to sleep though his body was tired, he jumped up and headed for the Infirmary. Dora was at the desk beating the hell out of her keyboard and growling.

"Sorry to interrupt."

"No problem. IT just did an upgrade and apparently they have no _idea_ what the word means because…never mind. What can I do for you, Special Agent?"

John rolled his eyes and tried to smile. "John. And I need something to help me sleep."

They still kept hard copies of everything so Dora yanked John's file from the shelf behind her. Flipping the manila folder open she checked the list of PRN meds ordered. Her finger stopped on one particular entry and tapped the page. "Looks like Derek ordered Ambien CR."

The nurse went to a door, tapped in her code and entered. She returned a few moments later with a single bubble pack. "You didn't have any alcohol today, did you?"

"No. Went to my meeting, ran face-first into a past I've been trying to forget then to my room."

A frown turned down the corners of Dora's mouth making her look like a pouty teenager. "No dinner? That's not good."

"Wasn't hungry." He snatched the pill from her hand and stalked away.

She watched him go then returned to her computer which had managed to sort itself out in the meantime. After making notes on John's behalf, she went on to her other work.

~~O~~

After signing the contract and checking out his assigned room, Evan walked Anthony back to the main lobby to say good-bye. Anthony told him that they'd meet at least once more before he went to live on another planet but Evan already missed him.

He'd been transported several times but this was his first experience seeing it. Though it was astonishing, he'd seen enough in the past few days that it didn't startle him as much as he thought it should have. Now that he was alone, he thought about getting something to eat. Checking the walls he saw no maps or guides to help him find his way around so he just walked until he saw signs on doors. None of which were helpful because they said things like IT, Dr. M. Adams, Operations, Conference Room, and Infirmary.

Scanning his card, Evan entered the medical area and followed the main hall down to where he saw light and heard movement. When he arrived he found a petite woman with short hair, brown with blonde highlights, involved in some task he didn't understand. Standing back from the desk and clearing his throat to get her attention, she looked up with a smile of welcome as if she'd been expecting him.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah. My name is Inspector, uh, I mean Special Agent Lorne and I'm lost. Trying to find the cafeteria."

She smiled and came around the desk. "First time in Area 52, Special Agent?"

"It is. And call me Evan. Not quite used to the Special Agent thing yet." She started walking and he fell into step beside her.

"I understand, Evan, and my name is Dora Michaels. Most nights I can be found at that desk or in the ward. At the moment, there's only one in-patient and one out-patient." She scanned her card and he followed her through.

"Would that out-patient's name happen to be John Sheppard?"

"Yeah. Know him?"

"You could say that." They arrived at the Commissary. "Thanks for your help. Could I buy you a cup of coffee?"

"Some other time perhaps. I gotta get back." She aimed a thumb over her shoulder. "You staying overnight? The rooms are left out of here, go through the first door, take another left then a right and there you are."

Evan nodded and watched Dora walk away. Inside the Commissary people were sitting at several tables. Most were eating but a few were just reading or sending texts or emails with their SmartPhones. He moved through the line which was unmanned at this time of night, taking a sandwich, an apple and a bottle of milk.

His meal consumed, Evan followed Dora's directions to his room. Closing the door, he pulled off his jacket, shirt, pants, shoes and socks leaving on his boxers and T-shirt. He went into the bathroom, completed his pre-bedtime routine as much as possible with the limited supplies available, switched the light out and collapsed onto the bed with a groan.

Hours later Evan was awakened from a dreamless sleep to the sound of screaming.

**TBC**

**A/N:** Many thanks to ElisaD263 for her help with this chapter. It was her idea for baby Daniel to be born first.

In this story, the inclusion of Ambien CR as a sleeping aid is not meant as an endorsement nor is it meant to infringe on name. It just seemed the best choice for the character.


	14. A Cement Trampoline

**A/N:** Lots of thanks to ladygris for her patient Beta services and endless emails to help me work out plot bunnies that were eating all my carrots.

Thanks,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 14**

**A Cement Trampoline**

Evan rushed out into the hall, doors opening to his left and right telling him others had heard it too. The scream came again setting all his nerves on edge, making his skin crawl and his throat ache. He did _not_ want to know what terror had pushed _that_ sound out of a human throat. "The _hell_…"

The next scream gave him a location, the room across from his. The others, men and women, made huffing sounds and went back into their rooms all but one. When he started to go back into his room, Evan stopped him. "Wait! Aren't you gonna call security?" Evan cringed when the scream came again.

The man, also in his boxers, yawned and scratched his bare chest. "It's Sheppard. He does that almost every night." He waved a hand in the general direction of the closed door. "Just go back to bed. It'll be over in a little while." The door slammed behind him and Evan was left in the hall alone to listen to the next scream which thankfully wasn't as loud at the previous ones. Not willing to just wait for it to stop, Evan pounded on the door until it was opened by a sleep-disheveled John. The air rushed in and out of his open mouth, his chest rising and falling as if he'd been running for his life.

"_What?_"

The man's tone made Evan feel as if _he_ were the one scaring the crap out of everyone in the middle of the night. "You okay?"

John pushed a hand through his hair not meeting Evan's blue gaze. "Why do _you_ care?"

"_I_ don't. But if you're gonna do that every night, I need to know so I can get earplugs."

"Do whatever the hell you want." The door slammed on his last word.

As Evan went back to his room, the guy who'd been in the hall before stuck his head out. "Sorry. Shoulda warned you. He doesn't play well with others, especially after one of his nightmares. Not even Keller."

"Who's Keller?"

"You'll find out." And then he was gone again.

Evan took that as his cue and went back into his own room. Knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep immediately, he picked up the magazine on the dresser and lay down to read. By the time he'd finished the article on Charlie Sheen and his latest bout with the authorities, he was ready doze off again.

~~O~~

John didn't want to go back to sleep after Evan had awakened him from the same nightmare that had been plaguing him for years. It had started to get better just after his first session with Dr. Adams. That is until he'd been reminded of it again tonight. He lay down on the bed, rolled onto his side and pulled the covers up to his neck.

It always made him feel better when he saw Angel but she hadn't been around for a few days and he wondered if it was him or Magee that caused her to stay away. The night he'd pushed her away it had been for her own good as well as his. She needed to be with someone who wasn't…wounded. He knew the descent into a hell he couldn't get out of was just a matter of time, his new job and position aside, and he didn't want to drag her down by virtue of association.

And that reminded him of Magee. That man shouldn't be allowed to breathe the same _air_ as civilized human beings, provided he _was_ human. In this place it was hard to tell. And after he'd seen the DVDs concerning the Stargate program, he understood why security was so tight.

Rolling onto his other side, John clamped his hand around the pendent he'd taken from the drawer. He'd promised Catlin that he would give it to her parents if anything had happened to her, but hadn't been able to face them and now they were gone. Her mother had died from a heart attack a few years back and her father had been killed in a carjacking about eighteen months ago. She didn't have any siblings and he hadn't the nerve to find out if she had grandparents, cousins, aunts or uncles. Likewise she'd never mentioned a best friend so that option was out. Tucking his hand under the pillow, he closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep.

**The Next Day**

Tish opened the door and ushered John inside. Usually he took the end of the sofa closest to the chair she liked to sit in but not today. Though he tried to give the appearance of casualness, she could see the tension in his stance, the way his eyes wouldn't look at her and the dark circles under his eyes. And he hadn't shaved.

"I don't feel so good, doc. How about we do this tomorrow or even next week?"

"What's wrong?"

"Feel like I've been jumping on a cement trampoline." He rubbed a hand through his hair.

Touching his shoulder, she waited for him to look at her. "Please sit down." Reluctantly he obeyed. "What's this about?"

"Nothing. It's just…I ran into a past I'd rather not think about right now. Or _ever_ if possible."

"I assume you're talking about the new agent, Evan Lorne. Haven't met him yet." He didn't respond. With a small smile, she took out the pen and pad she used to take notes. "We aren't going to go into that today."

"Good." He rested the ankle of his right foot on his left knee and unbuttoned his jacket. "So what _are_ we gonna talk about?"

"I've been letting you decide the course of our sessions these last few times."

John gave her a lopsided smile that was without humor. "And I've appreciate it."

Tish uncrossed her legs covered in black slacks today and crossed them the other way. "But now we need to get down to brass tacks, as they say."

"Don't like the sound of _that_."

The pen scratched on the pad as she made notes. "Tell me about the money."

"Money?" John had been wondering when someone would bring that up but he'd expected it to be Woolsey or McKay.

"When they found you in the desert, you had a valise filled with cash that had been taken from the Wraith."

"Oh, _that _money."

"Start at the beginning and tell me what your thoughts were."

For just a moment, John stared at her. He didn't moved the foot in the air back and forth and he realized she wouldn't drop the subject. With a deep sigh, he began his story. "I'd gone to the motel where the Wraith had been staying. When I searched his room, there it was. More money than I'd ever seen in my life…"

**Stargate Command**

**Infirmary**

Rodney dozed in the bed next to Sam's, Daniel cradled in his arms. The boy had just been fed and had gone immediately to sleep. Sam was feeding Olivia and about to doze off herself. Both parents had gotten very little sleep the last couple of days and the reasons were twofold. Newborns are prone to waking up crying every couple of hours and they'd expected that. But the most worrying thing was the possibility that the telekinesis would still be a problem. Carolyn and Jennifer were very understanding and let the Carter-McKay family stay where the children could be monitored 24/7. So far, all had been relatively quiet with no incidents of objects floating through the air.

Their growth was being carefully monitored as well and would continue to be checked on a regular basis. But so far they'd only shown the growth of normal newborns. Their consumption of formula was average for their size and the weight gain standard. Still, the new parents insisted on twice daily checks on their progress and often fell asleep in the ward awaiting the results of the tests.

A woman entered the Infirmary and made her way over to the occupied beds, peering into each small face and smiling. Returning to Rodney's side, she touched him gently on the shoulder, whispering his name. "Rodney?"

The physicist blinked and yawned, rubbing his eyes. "Elizabeth?"

"I heard about the additions to your family, but didn't expect it to happen so soon."

He swung his legs over the side and sat up. "Neither did _we_. Um, would you like to hold him?"

"I would indeed." Elizabeth pulled a chair up to the bedside and accepted the small bundle. "What's his name?"

"Daniel and the girl is Olivia."

Elizabeth looked up at Rodney watching him, marveling at the change in him since he and Sam had fallen in love. He eased the bottle from Sam's lax fingers and carefully took Olivia from her. With his free hand, he let the head of the bed down, turned out the light and pulled the curtain between them so she could sleep in peace for a few minutes.

Perching on the side of the bed, he said, "I heard you had some excitement yourself."

With a roll of her eyes, Elizabeth nodded. "The symbiote's name is Anouke. We've just come from reporting to the Tok'ra."

"When is it coming out?"

Now the diplomat's smile faded. "Not long after we were joined, Anouke found that I had a tumor growing inside my brain. It was too small to have been seen on a scan and is in an area that is inoperable. If its allowed to grow, well, let's just say it wouldn't be a pretty picture and leave it at that. Hermiod wanted to use the Asgard beaming technology to try to remove it but he couldn't guarantee that it would work. We declined his offer."

"So stay joined. You'll be the first Tok'ra in Pegasus."

"No, Rodney. I'll be going back to Atlantis but only to get my things and turn command of the expedition over to Colonel Caldwell."

"What did that _thing_ do to you that you'd give up your dream?" His voice rose in pitch making Olivia wiggle. He rubbed her back to calm her.

Elizabeth's eyes flashed, her voice changing. "I did nothing to influence her decision, Dr. McKay. It was mutually agreed that we would join the Tok'ra here in this galaxy. We know that you do not like Colonel Caldwell but he is fully capable of commanding the expedition."

"Yeah, but…"

The curtain around Sam's bed was pulled back. "Elizabeth." She came around the bed and leaned down to give her a quick hug. "Did I hear right, Caldwell's taking over?"

Anouke changed places with Elizabeth. "If you heard that then you also know why."

"Yes and I'm sorry it had to happen."

"Don't be. I'm quite happy with my current situation." The dark-haired woman smiled and it was one of contentment. "Before I return to Atlantis to make the change official, may I please hold Olivia?'

"Of course." Sam took Daniel from her and Rodney laid Olivia in Elizabeth's arms. "They're beautiful. I assume the boy is named after Dr. Jackson."

Sam answered with a smile. "Yes."

"Who is Olivia named after?"

Rodney carefully moved his son until he was draped over his left shoulder and rubbed his back gently. "My sisters, both of them. Olivia was just seventeen months old when she died from crib death. Jeannie came along a couple of years later."

Elizabeth handed the baby to Sam and stood. "Congratulations. I know you're going to be great parents. It's time for me to go. There's a dialout to Atlantis in a few minutes and I'll be going with the supplies and staff rotating back to Pegasus." She quickly hugged them both and left without looking back.

~~O~~

With the McKays in good hands, Jennifer thought it was time to check in on John again. She'd promised to visit every few days but with the babies coming, she hadn't had a chance. Carolyn would keep her apprised of any situations that developed so a quick trip to Area 52 then back to Atlantis for the change of command. She would smile so that all would think she was completely on board with it but she wasn't. Caldwell had always felt he was a better choice as commander for the expedition and had made no secret of the fact that he wanted Elizabeth's job. And now he would get it. The future of Atlantis was at stake because she could foresee a mass exodus back to Earth within just a few weeks. Including herself.

In the Gate Room, Jennifer stood out of the way as those headed for Atlantis passed through the event horizon and disappeared. The 'gate shut down and Walter's voice came over the PA.

"The _Daedalus_ is ready to receive you, Dr. Keller."

Moments later she was standing in the lobby of Area 52. Scanning her card, she headed for the Infirmary. Unfortunately she had to pass David's office and the door was open. "Damn." She sidled up to the door and peeked in. He had his headset on and was facing away from the door talking to someone. His speech was informal so it may have been a friend or family member. Careful not to make any noise, she hurried past his door.

Not until she reached the Infirmary did she breathe a sigh of relief. Ana was in her usual place behind the desk. Normally she had on her professional smile, the one all medical personnel learn to project. But today her smile lit up her entire face and when Jennifer got close she saw why. Derek was standing there holding her hand and from their body language they weren't talking about work. _It's about time!_

Walking backward, she made noise to announce her presence and turned the corner to see Derek sign a chart and hand it back to Ana as if they were conducting business and nothing more. Not wanting to embarrass them, she kept any comments about what she'd see to herself.

"Heard the babies are here, Jen. How'd it go?" Derek leaned against the desk.

"Great. So far it looks like their growth is normal now that they're not getting blood from mom."

"Good." Ana stood. "You brought pictures, right?"

"Of course." Jennifer took out her phone and scanned through the photos getting "oohs" and "aahs" from both. "Daniel and Olivia." She shoved the phone in her pocket and clasped her hands together in front of her. "Could I see Sheppard's file please?" Ana handed the file over and waited while it was read. "What's this from last night? He hasn't needed a sleeping pill in a couple of weeks."

"Not a clue. Tried to get out of his session with the shrink too, or so I heard." Derek crossed his arms the way he did when talking about John.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Barry Miller stayed overnight and said he was awakened by one of Sheppard's nightmares again. He hasn't had one like that in a couple of weeks. Woke up that new agent, too."

Jennifer's expression changed to confused. "New agent?"

"Yeah." Ana took out a new smaller file and passed it over. "Name's Evan Lorne. Former SFPD cop. Now he's Sheppard's partner and neither one is happy about it, according to the coconut telegraph."

Derek nodded. "Gave him his physical yesterday. He's in perfect health. Almost textbook."

"So I see. Hmm. I should go at least say hello. Where is he?"

"Spent most of the day in orientation. Probably in the gym." Derek followed her as she headed in that direction.

They parted at the junction and Jennifer stopped at the doorway to the gym. A man with light brown hair was lifting weights while John ran on the treadmill. She watched Lorne wipe his face with a towel and take a drink of water while watching John's back with rancor. From his expression she could see he wanted to run too but the only other treadmill was next to John. With a roll of his shoulders, he went over and began walking then running.

John glanced to the side and upped his speed just a little. A moment later, Lorne did the same thing. On and on it went until both were running so fast she didn't know how they managed to keep going. She was about to intervene when John fell and rolled off the end onto the floor, the treadmill automatically shutting off. He lay there holding his left leg, his face twisted in pain. She could see that he'd gotten a muscle cramp. _Too much, too soon._

Lorne continued to run and she was about to chastise him for ignoring someone who was injured when he shut down his own machine and went to John's side. She couldn't hear what they said to each other and hoped she wouldn't have to break up a fight. To her surprise, Lorne sat on the end of the treadmill, took hold of John's leg to help stretch the calf muscle.

John relaxed when the muscle finally released. He nodded, Lorne let go and stood looking down at him. He seemed to make a decision and extended his hand. After a moment's hesitation, John took and Lorne helped him to his feet. John retrieved his towel and water bottle as Lorne went back to the treadmill while John went to the corner to do his cool down.

Judging that John was doing as well as could be expected, she ducked around the corner and hurried back toward the office she shared with Derek.

~~O~~

John landed on the floor with a thump. He knew he'd been running too fast considering his physical condition, but when Lorne got on next to him and kept upping his speed, well, it was like it was a challenge. Then came the Charlie horse. The calf muscle of his left leg was hard as a rock and hurt like hell. Resigning himself to just lying on the floor until it stopped, John tried not to show shock when Lorne squatted next to him.

"Need help with that?"

John snorted. "What makes _you_ an expert?"

"Mom teaches art classes and gets them from being on her feet all the time." Evan moved around to sit on the end of the treadmill, wrapped one hand around John's ankle and grabbed the toe of his sneaker. Pulling on the heel while he pushed the toes toward John's head, the muscle slowly relaxed and his leg straightened.

Nodding, John met Evan's eyes briefly. "Thanks." Evan stood, paused and extended his hand. John took it and got to his feet, grabbing his towel and water bottle.

Evan got back on the treadmill and went back to his workout not even looking up when John left a few minutes later.

~~O~~

Checking the time, Jennifer judged it was safe to go get something to eat. Though safe was a relative term. Going over the limited choices that would be available in the Commissary this late at night, she turned the corner and ran right into the one person she never wanted to see again. Ever.

**TBC**


	15. The Enemy of My Enemy

**A/N:** I must thank ladygris for all her assistance and insight. She has been a brilliant source of inspiration as well as a great friend.

To Lithane: Is this John/Evan-centric enough for you? :-P

Gracias,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 15**

**The Enemy of My Enemy**

Jennifer started to topple over backward and clutched at the person to keep from falling before she realized it was David. She'd thought he'd left already and didn't bother to hide her surprise. A shiver of revulsion made its way down her back at the feel of his hands on her arms.

Since she'd met him, the thought of having him near her for any reason had turned her stomach. It was instinctive, almost primal. She'd thrown his card away because she had absolutely no intention of ever calling him. If she were drowning and the only way for her to be saved would be to let _him_ help her, she'd sink beneath the waves rather than take his hand. Taking two steps back so he'd have to let go, she crossed her arms and waited for him to speak.

"Jennifer. I've been expecting your call." The look on his face was more like a leer.

"I've been…busy." Jennifer refused to explain. "What do you want?"

"To show you something." Reaching into his pocket, David took out his SmartPhone, touched the screen and handed it to her. She took it and watched the video of herself and John the night they'd kissed. It showed her dragging John down the hall and up to the door of his room where they passed out of camera range. Unfortunately, she had no way to prove they hadn't spent the night together. When the video ended, Jennifer made herself look at David. "Why are you showing me this?"

He pocketed the phone and crossed his arms. "I _could_ have just had you fired. You'd lose your medical license and be censured by the medical community, never allowed to practice medicine in the US ever again. And with the resources available to us, to _me_, no other country would have you either. And you'd never see Atlantis again.

"As for Sheppard, he'd end up in prison where he belongs. Now you have to make a decision. Accede to my request or it goes to Woolsey, the AMA, Dr. Weir, General Carter, and anyone else I can think of. Hell, I'd even post it on YouTube if I thought it would get me what I want."

Trying not to show how panicked she'd become, Jennifer unflinchingly met and held his eyes. "And what _do_ you want, Mr. Magee?" _As if I don't know._

David stepped in front of her, his left hand on the wall beside her head, his right reaching out to lift a lock of hair that rested along her collarbone. "You. I want you." Taking a step back, he gave her a smile she didn't like at all. "You have two days to make up your mind or Sheppard will be on his way to a Federal prison so secret there's only a few people in this country who know where it is. It's a place where they not only lock you up and throw away the key, but they sometimes throw away the room as well. Now I know you're wondering how _I _know about it. It had to be built by someone and that 'someone' was my family's company.

"So you see _I_ hold all the cards in this hand of poker we've been playing." He leaned close enough she could smell his breath. Wintergreen again. "And I always win."

~~O~~

His growling stomach forcing him to think of eating, John pushed a hand through his hair, opened the door and stepped out. He made certain to pull it completely shut despite the fact that most people on the premises could get in without much trouble. The door across from him opened and he came face to face with his partner.

Avoiding Evan's gaze, John turned in the direction of the Commissary, annoyed when the other man followed. Just before they reached the corner, John heard muted voices recognizing one as Angel's and the other as Magee's. Putting up his hand in a fist, John signaled for them to freeze and Evan obeyed automatically.

Edging up to the corner, John peeked around and pulled back. Evan tapped him on the shoulder asking a silent question. In quick succession, John flashed the signals for listen, watch and enemy. Nodding, the shorter man traded places with John. They continued to communicate with hand signals until David headed in their direction. Neither one could hear what was being said but they didn't like the smug tone coming from David and the fear from Jennifer.

They quickly retraced their steps, stopped and turned. David reached the corner at the same time they did, his face in a scowl. "What are you two doing? We're not paying you to just stand around."

John crossed his arms, humor in every line. "Since I haven't actually gotten a paycheck yet, Magee, you're not really _paying_ me to do anything."

Playing along, Evan agreed. "You've got a point."

Falsely jovial, as if they were best buds, John grinned. "Thanks, Lorne."

"My pleasure, Sheppard."

Pushing past them to the door that led to his office, David tossed a final remark over his shoulder. "Then stop loitering in the hall. I'm sure there's something _else_ you can be doing."

The two special agents watched David through the secure door as he entered his office, the door slamming behind him. Their smiles disappeared as soon as he was gone.

Evan shook his finger. "You know, there's something about that guy I just don't like."

Waving his hand next to his head, John agreed. "He makes my Spidey-sense tingle, and not in the fun way."

"Spidey-sense?" Evan chuckled. "Good analogy. And I _really _didn't like the way he was looking at that girl."

"That _girl _is the head doc around here. He's been harassing her." John got a thoughtful look in his eyes. "Ready to break in that brand new super-secret government ID?"

"Say the word."

"Word. I know what our first mission's gonna be."

The light in Evan's eyes got brighter, his interest piqued. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." The anticipation of finally having something to do besides orientation meetings and working out kicked his appetite into high gear for the first time in days. "You up for a weasel hunt?" They resumed their trek to the Commissary though after a few steps John stopped his and Evan's forward motion, his expression one of mild shock. "Wait. Did we just _agree_ on something?"

Evan was a little startled too. "Yeah."

Together the men said, "_That_ was _weird!_"

With an exaggerated shudder, John started walking again, Evan falling into step beside him. "You know, that kinda creeped me out."

"Me too. Let's not do that again."

"No problem. I…wait. Did we just agree again?"

"Yeah." Evan paused a beat. "We set a dangerous precedent with that first one."

A moment later, Tish left her office, purse slung over her shoulder. She was in a short skirt and four-inch heels, her hair up emphasizing the length of her slender neck and making her appear even taller.

With something analogous to shock, Evan stumbled to a halt and just stared at the picture she presented.

She grinned as if she could tell what he was thinking as she stopped in front of them. "Hello boys."

A little nervous about seeing her outside of their sessions, John said, "Doc. How's it going?"

"Oh, it's goin'." She looked at Evan inquiringly. "And who might you be?"

Belatedly, the ex-detective remembered his manners. "Special Agent Evan Lorne. Lorne, Doc Adams."

Obviously trying to keep his eyes on her face, Lorne extended his hand. "Doc."

"Special Agent. I'm the shrink, by the way. But don't hold it against me. Everyone has to do something."

"A pleasure, ma'am."

Tish winked and turned to go. "We'll see about that."

They watched her pass through the main security door and enter Woolsey's office without knocking.

Not knowing what to say, Evan just stared for a while. "Uh, Sheppard…" John tapped him on the arm to get his attention then held a hand just under his chin. Evan's eyes got even wider, if that were possible.

John nudged him again. "Engaged to Woolsey."

Evan blinked. "Lucky man!"

Shrugging, John started walking again. "If you like Amazons with legs so long they could wrap around a potbelly stove and thighs that can crack a walnut."

Evan choked, pulling the collar of his shirt away from his neck.

John grinned. "Or so I've heard."

**Atlantis**

**Gate Room**

Elizabeth thanked the Marine pushing the cart with her personal belongings, the man nodded and went to stand with his squad. Every member of the expedition crowded around the edges of the Gate Room, filling the stairs and balconies almost beyond capacity. Caldwell, as the new expedition commander, stood at the rail close to Operations, Chuck, Amelia, Ronon, Teyla and Reed at his side. Radek, to show his displeasure at the change in command, was on the Gate Room floor at the front of the Science and Research team.

She'd already said all she needed or wanted to say, even allowing Anouke to speak to the senior staff. The only one missing was Rodney and she didn't fault him for staying with his wife and their newborns. With one final glance at the faces she'd come to know over the last few years, Elizabeth pushed the cart toward the blue puddle illusion.

~~O~~

Caldwell wanted to begin his tenure as commander on a high note so the transition would go as smoothly as possible. No matter that he thought he was the better choice, Elizabeth had been respected by all, including himself, and even loved by many of the staff.

"Company! A-ten-_hut!_" He snapped to attention as did every member of the military. What surprised him was when the civilians did so as well. Their stances weren't perfect but that didn't matter. This was about honoring a departing dignitary, not adhering to protocol. As a group, they saluted, holding the position until she'd passed through the event horizon and the 'gate shut down. He paused for precisely five seconds. "Company dis-MISSED!"

**Area 52**

**Commissary**

Head down, Jennifer hurried into the Commissary and straight for the coffee. She snatched a cup from the stack but her hand shook so badly she couldn't pour. Before she could drop it, a hand took both and placed them on the counter. She looked up and John was beside her, his face mask of concern. He took her by the hand, leading her to the table he was sharing with the brown-haired man from the gym. She sat down, head resting in her hands.

~~O~~

John and Evan had just seated themselves at a table when Jennifer rushed past them to the drink station. Coffee splashed on the floor when she attempted to pour herself some of the hot brew and he hurried to her "rescue." Taking the pot and cup from her hands, he urged her over to the table and into a chair.

That creep Magee had really upset her this time. Instead of going after him, he exchanged a quick glance with Lorne, seeing agreement. He nodded to emphasize his response. "You know, I haven't been out of this place much since I got here. Let's go get a beer. Lorne?"

"I'm in."

The trio headed for the motor pool, John's hand on the small of Jennifer's back so she would know he was there for her. When they arrived at the parking area, she still hadn't said anything, just went to a black H3 and climbed into the passenger seat. John and Lorne stared longingly at the shiny black Dodge Ram four-door pick-up and shared another eye roll at yet another thing they agreed on. After John checked the vehicle out with the Marine Sergeant in charge, he took the keys and got behind the wheel.

At the gate Woolsey and Tish were just pulling out. The shrink buzzed the window down. "Where you guys headed?"

"Thought we'd go get a beer."

Tish grinned. "We'll join you. We can celebrate our engagement _and_ your new partnership."

~~O~~

In the back seat, Evan took the opportunity to observe Sheppard without his knowledge. He couldn't decide what to think about the man he'd always felt had been responsible for Lee's death. One minute he was the biggest jerk in the world and the next he was solicitous of the young doctor without being overly obvious about it.

He watched Sheppard cast furtive glances at the doctor whose name he didn't know, his detective's mind putting together what few pieces he'd gathered in just the last ten minutes. Sheppard was very attracted to this girl…woman but was uncertain if he wanted to pursue it.

Evan leaned forward. "Excuse me, we haven't actually met. I'm Special Agent Evan Lorne." She finally smiled though it didn't reach her eyes. He knew he wasn't the cause so took no offense as she extended her right hand over her left shoulder.

"Dr. Jennifer Keller. Welcome to Area 52, Special Agent."

"Evan, please." Her smile didn't fade completely but it dimmed a little as she faced front again. He settled back, his usual laid back expression in place. But under the surface he was seething on her behalf. He could tell that she was a compassionate, thoughtful and kindhearted soul who'd been taken advantage of. Whatever Sheppard wanted to do to this guy, he'd help him.

~~O~~

It was the middle of the week so the bar wasn't overly crowded, mostly regulars and a few stragglers who just happened to wander in. The house band was playing a Willie Nelson tune and doing a so-so job of it while a few couples danced.

Woolsey, Tish, Jennifer, John and Evan found a table not too far from the pool tables. Their drinks arrived in short order and Jennifer made the toast. "Richard and Tish, May your life together be long and happy."

Tish tipped back her glass of white wine and Richard took a long drink of the juice he was drinking in lieu of alcohol. The shrink gave her fiancé a quick kiss. "Oh, it will be, Jennifer. It will be."

Next they toasted the new partnership of John and Evan. The two men didn't look at each other as they drank from their bottles as if they agreed.

~~O~~

John was about to take a swig of his second beer when a guy in chinos and a polo shirt approached Tish. The man obviously hadn't noticed the rock on her left hand. Over the last couple of weeks he'd gotten to know some of the subtleties in the shrink's expressions and the one she wore now told him she would be having fun at this guy's expense. _Oh, cool. A floor show._

"Would you care to dance?"

With an exaggerated sigh, Tish turned to face him. "And after this dance, I suppose you'd like to buy me a drink." Not giving him a chance to answer, she plowed ahead. "And after I've had a few too many, you'll no doubt invite me up to your apartment, condo, penthouse, hotel room, whatever and want to have your way with me."

"Uh…"

"Let me save you some cash, honey, and we'll just skip right to the sex."

The man opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Are you _serious_?"

"Oh, I _know_ what you're gonna say but it's no big deal. Really. This happens _all_ the time." She stood, purposely leaning forward until her chest was practically in his face. Turning to Woolsey, she smiled fondly, her tone wheedling. "You don't mind, do you, Dickie Darling?"

Woolsey pushed back the sleeve of his suit jacket, glanced at his watch and let out a long suffering sigh. "Okay. But try to be home no later than midnight. We have an appointment with the marriage counselor in the morning."

Pouting, she planted her fists on her hips. "Do we _have_ to go? I think that shrink hates me." Looking back at the man who was standing there with a dumbfounded expression, she grinned, her eyes giving him a leisurely once-over. "And he looks like he's good for at _least_ four or five hours. Not like the last one who…"

"Oh, alright. I'll reschedule the appointment…again. But I'm taking the car this time so he'll have to bring you home. One last thing, what should I tell the kids?"

The rest of the conversation flowed around them as John said to Evan, "And they say romance is dead."

Evan didn't respond, just hid a grin behind his beer bottle as he took a drink.

Jennifer had obviously seen Tish in action before because she didn't bat an eyelash as she crunched on a pretzel. John was gratified to see that her smile, the one he'd first seen when he'd been rescued from the desert, had returned.

Resuming her seat, Tish took a drink of her beer, set the bottle down, turned to the side and crossed her legs, her foot swinging in time to the music a she watched the flummoxed would-be suitor leave the bar.

Woolsey unbuttoned his jacket and smiled. He caught the bartender's eye and the man grinned and shook his head. This wasn't the first time Tish had made a fool of a guy who only saw her beauty and sex appeal.

Evan couldn't contain himself any longer. "_That_ was amazing, Doc."

Tish shrugged. "Some people make it _way_ too easy." She finished off her beer while Woolsey downed the last of the acai juice that the owner kept behind the bar just for him. They stood together, the shrink gazing fondly at her fiancé. "What most men don't realize is they need to be at least this tall…" she raised her hand level with Woolsey's chin, "…to get on _this_ ride. Plus be cute and just a little bald." Giving him a kiss, she followed when he urged her toward the door. "'Night."

~~O~~

Evan watched the door close behind Woolsey and Tish giving the other two a dubious look. "Are you _sure_ she's a shrink?"

John lifted his beer for the last swallow, his eyes unreadable. "Oh, yeah."

Jennifer was grinning too. "Every one of us has gone up against her at one time or another. She _always_ comes out on top."

"Huh."

~~O~~

They were silent for a while then John pushed his empty bottle aside. Jennifer was staring at a point half way between the two men not really focused on anything. "I know you don't wanna talk about this, but we have to do something about Magee."

She sighed in resignation. "You already know he's been harassing me." Not wanting to meet his eyes, she kept them on her hands clasped together in front of her. "Tonight he showed me a video."

"Of what?"

"An…incident that occurred a few days ago. He threatened to send it to the AMA."

Evan grabbed a pretzel from the full bowl in the middle of the table. "How bad can this video be?"

Opening and closing her mouth a few times, in a barely audible voice, she said, "There's no audio and it _looks_ like I'm about to…sleep with a patient. I _didn't_ but I can't prove it. And if they called…the other party, he probably wouldn't be believed for a variety of reasons. None of which are important right now."

John knew she was protecting him and he appreciated it though it wasn't necessary. He begged a pen from the bartender and grabbed a handful of napkins. "We have to bring this guy down. What areas besides the break rooms don't have cameras?"

Jennifer shrugged. "Some of the storerooms, the janitor's closets, um…that's all I can think of. This is information _he_ has. That's why he's never gotten caught."

"He's done this _before?_ Why didn't someone turn him in?" Evan raised his voice but not enough to be noticed by the other patrons.

"Don't know. And now he has that video."

Evan fuming under his calm exterior brought up something the other two seemed to have forgotten. "What about in the hall tonight? There are cameras all over the place."

Shrugging again, Jennifer finished her beer. "I noticed the other day that the little red light wasn't on like it usually is. Does that mean it doesn't work?"

"He could have disabled it, adjusted the angle or even changed the viewing range on it. If he's computer savvy, he could have recorded the empty hall and looped the recording through the secure lines to keep security from getting suspicious." Evan's detective mind went over the possibilities. There were more but these were the easiest to accomplish. "Does he have that level of expertise?"

"Not a clue. Um, I know this is kinda but not really off the subject. I have this weird…thing that happens when I first meet someone. If my instincts tell me that person can't be trusted, my palms begin to feel oily and it's never failed me yet. The first time I met him, I wanted to take a long hot shower I felt so dirty." She shivered. "No _way_ I'm letting him…_do_ what he's suggesting." Out of the corner of her eye she saw Evan get up and go to the bar, returning shortly with a cup of hot tea. He placed it in front of her and resumed his seat. "You guys ever get anything like that?"

Her question was aimed at both men and John was intrigued. _Angel has a Spidey-sense?_ He also wondered if this sense had demonstrated itself when they first met in the morgue over the body of Thomas Crane. Shaking his head, he reasoned that it most likely hadn't or she wouldn't be here now nor would she have done any of the little extras for him that had begun to make him feel as if he mattered to someone. One side of John's mouth lifted in a half smile. "I guess you could call it that."

Evan was nodding. "All cops develop some sort of radar as a defense mechanism or they wouldn't last long. Putting your trust in the wrong person can get you killed, especially when undercover."

Jennifer sipped her tea. "You've been undercover, Evan?"

"No. But I've had friends who've done it. You have eat, sleep and breathe your new persona, and have answers for any questions someone might ask and paperwork to back it up. One slip…" he didn't have to finish the thought.

She nodded understanding. "So what're we gonna do about this?"

John's resolve hardened. No way would he allow her to be involved when they took Magee down. "There _is_ no _we_ as far as _you're_ concerned. This op is mine and Lorne's."

Her chin came up in that way he was beginning to recognize as her way of preparing for a fight. "But, John…"

"No! _You_ will go back to Stargate Command or better yet, Atlantis." He'd never used that particular tone with her before and the shock of it showed on her face. She was almost hurt by his words. To ease the sting, he lifted his hand, allowing it to hover uncertainly over her smaller one resting on the table before taking it in his. The contrast between his sun darkened skin and hers, fair to match the blonde hair, was, in his opinion, just another way of showing him that they didn't really belong together. Softening his tone and features, he spoke quietly to her. "Please, Angel. Stay out of it. I want you as far from Magee as possible until we figure out how to take him down."

**TBC**


	16. Life is Drama

**A/N:** This is where I thank ladygris for all her help. She patiently Betas everything I send her and gives me insightful comments and suggestions that make the story better than it was. Thanks a bunch.

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 16**

**Life Is Drama**

Jennifer's brown eyes, shiny with unshed tears, battled John's until she realized that he wouldn't back down on this. Against her better judgment, she agreed. Before he could pull away, she turned her hand over and gripped his fingers tight. He squeezed back until he saw Lorne watching.

Finally, she nodded. "Okay. Just promise me you won't do anything to get yourselves fired or put in jail or…hurt."

The two men exchanged a glance and a shrug. "Okay."

~~O~~

When Jennifer gripped his hand, he thought she'd never let go. Across from him, Lorne lifted one side of his mouth in a grin, dropping his eyes to their clasped hands. As gently as possible he retrieved his hand.

The group finished their beers and returned to Area 52 where John convinced Jennifer to stay the night. He sent her into his room and waited until he heard the lock engage to head down the hall. A moment later he also heard the unmistakable sound of a chair being shoved up under the doorknob and silently praised her.

John also kicked himself all the way to the Infirmary because now he didn't think he'd be able to sleep a wink picturing her in his bed, her blonde hair spread across his pillow and making her look more like the angel than ever. He scanned his card at the Infirmary door and headed for the desk. Dora was in her usual place and again was doing something nurse-like that he didn't understand.

"Don't tell me. You were lonely. You missed me. You couldn't sleep. You wanted someone to talk to." The twinkle of humor in her green eyes made John smile.

"Actually, Dr. Keller's sleeping in my room and I need somewhere to sack out. Got any vacancies?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. Your old bed on the ward, as long as you don't mind me being in and out all night." She opened a cabinet and took out a set of scrubs. "Here you go."

"Thanks." He turned away then came back, leaning on the front of the desk. "Could I ask you something? It's kinda personal."

"Go ahead. Just don't get upset if I plead the Fifth."

John nodded agreement. "Has Magee ever…bothered you?" The moment he said it, she rolled her eyes and huffed, telling him all he needed to know.

"Not the way you're thinking. Oh, he flirted with me when I first got here, but the moment he saw Dr. Keller he completely forgot I existed except as a member of the medical team. It saved me from having to lie and tell him I'm gay."

The last part of her story made him smile until he saw she wasn't. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Dora shrugged. "Not sure if it's true or not, but there's a rumor that the nurse I replaced left because he was harassing her. She transferred to Atlantis, or so I heard."

"Any idea what her name is?"

"Marie something. I think she's Asian. And for the record, he's hit on almost every woman here including Dr. Adams and Sheila, both of whom shut him down with a few well-chosen words."

Now John did chuckle. "I'm sure. Well, thanks for the talk."

After changing into the scrubs, John lay down on the hospital bed staring at the ceiling, his mind sorting and organizing all the information he'd gotten from Dora and Angel tonight, working out a way to catch Magee and have him kicked to the curb.

He was just about to fall asleep when the picture of Angel sleeping in his bed popped into his head again and refused to leave. Rolling onto his side, he tried to ignore his body's reactions and go to sleep.

~~O~~

Not one to show his emotions in public except on rare occasions, Evan waited until he was alone to express how he felt about David Magee. But even then it was relatively harmless. He pulled his shirt off, wadded it into a ball and threw it at the wall…hard. "Dammit!" It knocked the print on the wall sideways then fell into the laundry basket. His pants and socks came after each followed by a different expletive.

His ire spent, he placed his sneakers next to the desk, took a clean set of clothes from the closet and draped them over the back of the desk chair. In the bathroom, he washed his face then brushed and flossed his teeth. Flipping the light out, he lay down on the bed, his hands laced together behind his head trying _not_ to think about what he'd seen in the bar. He grinned at the memory of the shrink shutting down the guy who'd asked her to dance making a mental note not to ever give her a reason to do the same to him.

~~O~~

With the door locked and the chair pushed up under the doorknob, Jennifer felt a little safer. At least until she realized that she'd now be sleeping in John's bed, the same bed he slept in every night. The same bed she'd offered to have sex with him in. Her face heated at the memory.

Going to his dresser, she took out one of his T-shirts to sleep in, noting that his clothes had been just shoved in without regard to function or folding. If she didn't do something about it, it would bug her all night.

Tossing the T-shirt on the bed, she hung his shirts and pants in the closet. Next she paired all the socks, rolling them into balls. But when she got to his boxers, she couldn't bring herself to touch them. Not that she was a prude or anything, but doing so reminded her of their kisses. Her face flushed again with the memory and she slammed the drawer hoping to stop the sensations that now flowed through her body.

She'd told herself over and over that John wasn't the man for her, that she needed someone who was…not him. Someone more like Evan. However, even after a good talking to, her body continued to disagree. It wanted John and no one else. After considering a cold shower, she changed into the T-shirt and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. There was only the one toothbrush so she squirted toothpaste on her finger and rubbed it over her teeth, rinsed and dried her hands.

Back in the bedroom, she only paused a moment before pulling back the covers and slipping underneath. Turning on her side, she sniffed the pillow hoping to catch his scent but the sheets had been changed and the fabric softener the laundry used was all she could smell.

Rolling onto her other side, she tucked one hand under the pillow feeling a piece of metal. She flicked on the bedside lamp, the gold of the Celtic cross in her palm glistening in the light. Turning it over, she read the inscription, wondering who Caitlin had been to him if he still carried it with him. He must have cared about this Caitlin if he'd kept the pendent. She also theorized that she must be gone or she'd still be wearing it and John might not be where he is now. _What if she's the reason he's so closed off, afraid of feeling anything?_

Opening the drawer, she placed it inside hoping he wouldn't know she'd seen it and shut off the light.

**The Next Morning**

**Washington, D.C.**

**The Coffee Shoppe**

**Across from the Pentagon**

The smell of coffee brewing permeated every corner of the shop making the atmosphere cozy and inviting. It also helped that there were comfortable sofas and chairs in the warm brown shades, most of which were grouped around a three sided fireplace. The walls and above the mantels were covered with coffee themed paintings basking the patrons in the ambiance that came with gourmet coffee and pastries.

Melissa sipped from the cup in her left hand while reading her SmartPhone. Not watching where she was going, she ran smack into someone coming into the shop. If there hadn't been a top on her cup she'd have dumped caramel macchiato all over him. Strong hands grasped her upper arms so she wouldn't fall.

"Sorry! I wasn't…" Her eyes saw a pair of black spit-shined shoes, dark blue slacks transitioning to a dark blue jacket buttoned in the front. On the left rested a multitude of ribbons and awards in bright colors, rank insignias on the lapels and a perfectly tied tie over a pristine white shirt. Her eyes shifted to his name tag. "Colonel Davis."

"Paul." His smile wasn't forced allowing her to relax when he let go, his hands automatically clasping behind his back. "How are you, Ms. Stone?"

"Melissa. And I was _fine_ until I almost knocked down one of this country's finest." Her sheepish smile made him smile too.

"I was hoping to run into you just not quite like this." He gestured at a set of chairs set at right angles to each other. "Please have a seat and I'll join you in a moment. That is if I'm not imposing."

"You aren't." She sat in the chair facing the fireplace though it was too warm for a fire. Above the mantel was an oil painting of a giant cup of coffee, the steam floating up and curling into a heart almost as if it were a sign.

Paul returned with his own cup and two plates, each containing half of a chocolate croissant. Handing her a napkin and one of the plates, he unbuttoned his jacket and seated himself in the unoccupied chair. "So, Melissa, how do you like working at the Pentagon?"

"It's amazing! I hadn't realized how big it was until I got lost my first day."

"It is a little daunting, isn't it? What office are you working out of?"

Melissa took a sip of her coffee before answering. "Homeland Security. I'm with the director, Nancy Gordon as a personal assistant. You?"

"Confidential special projects under General Jack O'Neill."

She lifted the pastry to take a bite, a glint of humor in her eyes. "If you tell me you'll have to kill me?" _How did he know this is my favorite breakfast indulgence?_

One corner of his mouth lifted ironically. "Something like that."

Underneath the humor Melissa got the feeling that he was being serious. "Then by all means, don't tell me. There're still things I want to do before I meet my Maker." _Like fall in love, get married, have a family, pets, a house in the suburbs._ Glancing at the clock over the window, she quickly finished her pastry. "I need to get going or I'll be late."

When she stood, Paul did as well. He gathered up their cups, plates and napkins and took them to the trash receptacle near the door then waited for her to join him. "I'll escort you to your office, if you don't mind. You changed your hair. I like it."

Again charming her with his old world manners, Melissa ducked her head to hide the blush on her cheeks, tucking her hair behind her ear. She'd begun wearing her hair loose instead of her usual ponytail. She'd also had it cut in a more flattering style. "Thanks."

~~O~~

Inside the pentagon, Paul left Melissa at the T-junction where her office was to the left and his to the right. On the way up in the elevator they'd agreed to meet this coming Saturday evening for dinner. Without meaning to, he stood in the hall watching her walk away. He felt someone come to stand next to him and didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"General." Melissa had turned a corner but Paul still stared in that direction.

"Colonel." Jack pointed his chin. "Who's that?"

Paul made a small chuckle of disbelief. "That, sir, is the woman I'm going to marry."

"Didn't know you were seeing someone. When's the big day?"

The Lieutenant Colonel shrugged. "Haven't asked her yet."

Jack shifted his feet, his hands going into his pockets. "Why not?"

"We just met." Paul felt Jack's shock. It mirrored his own. He'd never been the sentimental type, had never believed in love at first sight until he saw a pair of turquoise eyes scowling at her SmartPhone as she waited to board the flight. Fingers snapping in front of his face brought him out of his daydream.

"C'mon, Colonel. We've got a planet to protect."

"Yes, sir."

**Area 52**

**Employee Quarters**

John returned to his room, a cup of coffee and a donut in hand. Not much of a breakfast, but he didn't really feel like eating anything more.

Angel had already gone and a small prick of disappointment poked at him that she hadn't said good-bye. Opening the top drawer of the dresser he found everything but his boxers and socks had been moved. The rest of the drawers were empty as well except for the bottom drawer. Whoever had been in this room before him had left a men's magazine behind. He didn't look at the date though it had to be several months old because the scantily clad girl on the front was wearing a red and white bikini made to resemble Santa's suit only he doubted she was Mrs. Claus.

He'd never seen the point to such publications when there were so many willing _live_ women available, especially since he'd come to Las Vegas. Everywhere you went there was a show and the women in them either wore skimpy outfits or took their clothes off one at a time for the masses. If he had a choice, and he did, he'd rather just find someone willing to do a private show just for him than one who was probably a student working her way through college or a single mom with bills to pay. He closed the drawer without touching the magazine.

Searching the room, he found his clothes hanging in the closet. Even his T-shirts and the workout gear he'd purchased the last time he'd gone into town for one of his GA meetings. He yanked the shirt and pants off the hangers and tossed them on the bed. That's when he noticed that one of his shirts was crumpled in a ball near his pillow. _Angel must have worn it to bed._

Snatching the shirt up he drew back to toss it in the laundry but stopped barely into the swing. Holding it up in front of him, but down about chest height, he used his mind's eye to imagine her standing there wearing it and nothing else. A moment later he mentally kicked himself for being pervert, something he wouldn't have done before meeting her.

Still holding the shirt in both hands, he held it over the basket then after a moment of debate with himself, he brought the black cotton to his nose and inhaled. The scent that invaded his lungs was a combination of vanilla shower gel, perspiration and something he couldn't identify.

_Maybe she and I…no, forget it._

A surge of self-doubt made John drop the shirt in with his other dirty clothes. He went to the desk and booted up his laptop. While he waited, he went into the bathroom and found all the towels except the one next to the sink were dry meaning Angel hadn't showered before leaving though it didn't stop him from picturing her doing so.

With a growl of frustration at himself, he went back to his computer and got to work. A knock at the door a few minutes later disturbed his concentration. At the door was the older lady who did the laundry. As she turned to add his to the others on her cart, he called out, "Wait." He reached in and took out the shirt Angel had worn garnering him a stern look from the woman. "What? I thought I wore it yesterday and remembered I didn't."

The woman just shook her head as he closed the door in her face.

~~O~~

Buttoning his shirt with one hand while pulling out a pair of socks with the other, Evan finished dressing. His orientation meetings were done and he'd been assigned to watch a set of DVDs about the Stargate program. Gathering up his portable DVD player, headphones and the next disc, he headed for the Commissary. He carried his meal to a table in the corner away from everyone else so he could concentrate. The next set had been done by McKay and dealt primarily with the Pegasus galaxy. There had been a short video of a Wraith feeding and it had turned his stomach. He pushed the last of his oatmeal away thinking now might be a good time to become a vegetarian.

He finished his coffee, his third cup and returned to his room where he watched another video. This one was about Athosians, human form replicators who called themselves Asurans, Genii, rogue Asgard and several other intelligent species in the Pegasus galaxy.

By the time it was over, he was ready for a workout. Maybe running would get the vision of that video out of his head long enough for him to have lunch. He changed, grabbed a towel from the bathroom, swung by the Commissary for water and headed to the gym.

**Stargate Command**

**Carter/McKay Quarters**

Both babies were crying as Sam and Rodney walked back and forth rubbing their little ones on the back and murmuring soothing words. They'd been fed and changed but still they cried. When one started the other had to chime in and it didn't matter who went first. The result was the same. No sleep for mom and dad.

At a knock, Rodney, carrying Olivia, opened the door and Jennifer stepped inside. "What's wrong?"

"We don't know! Danny started crying about twenty minutes ago and that got Livie going."

Dark circles under her eyes, Sam walked past Jennifer on another lap of the room. "We've tried everything that Carolyn told us to do. It's a good thing the rooms are soundproof or there'd be a bunch of annoyed soldiers on this base."

"Have you taken them outside yet? Gone for a drive?"

Looking annoyed that he hadn't thought of it, Rodney huffed. "No, we have _not_." He passed Olivia to Jennifer and went to the closet. Grunting and groaning, he dragged out two brand new strollers with the clip-in baby carriers. He helped Sam put Danny in one then helped Jennifer with Olivia.

The three adults went to the elevator and Jennifer pressed the button for the ground level. When the elevator started moving the crying slowed. By the time they reached the teen levels it was down to the occasional whimper.

"The hell…" Rodney and Sam shared a glance then looked at Jennifer.

"When my parents couldn't get me to stop crying they would put me in the car and go for a drive. Apparently the elevator serves the same purpose."

"So we just ride up and down until they go to sleep then _we_ can sleep." Rodney slipped his arm around Sam and she leaned wearily against him.

Smiling at her friends, Jennifer leaned against the wall and thought about John and Evan. They'd said they'd get back at David for what he'd done to her but wouldn't allow her to be involved. _Hell, I'm already involved! This cannot happen to someone else. He has to be stopped!_

"Jen?" Rodney waved a hand in front of her eyes. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Sam snorted. "'Cause you looked like you wanted to bite someone."

The medical doctor shook her head. "It's nothing. There's just this guy and he's been…never mind."

When they reached the surface the little ones were sound asleep. Without a word, Rodney sent the elevator back along the path it had just traversed. Once on the barracks level again, Jennifer pushed one stroller and Rodney pushed the other while Sam made an appearance in the Gate Room for a SitRep.

Back in the room, Rodney offered Jennifer a bottle of water which she accepted gratefully. She moved quietly around the room looking at the items on the walls and tables. Stopping in front of one particular print she thought it odd amongst the photos of their wedding, and military and academic awards. It was of a frog with its head in the mouth of a bird standing in a marsh. Though he's about to be swallowed, the frog had both hands around the birds neck. The caption said, "Never give up."

She took two steps back, turned and went to the door. "See ya!"

The door closed behind her again before Rodney could say a word. He shrugged, kicked off his shoes and lay down with a groan leaving the kids in the strollers next to the bed just in case.

~~O~~

The ding of the elevator signaled Sam's arrival back on the barracks level. She pushed off the back wall but didn't get out when Jennifer rushed in looking like she had a full head of steam. Instead of getting out, she stayed in. Two levels down, Sam stopped the elevator between floors. "Talk to me."

"About, uh, what?"

"About, uh, what's been happening at Area 52."

"How did you…"

A smirk turned up one corner of the General's mouth. "I have ears everywhere." Jennifer gave her a startled glance and Sam relented. "Marie told me."

"John has a plan to stop him but he won't let me help and I so wanna see his face when he gets fired!"

"So?"

"What do you mean 'so'? John told me to leave, that he and Evan would take care of it."

Watching her friend's eyes, Sam could see a spark of something in the brown depths. "Let me just say one thing. You can tell me to go to hell or whatever…what I'm trying to say is: don't let one man keep you away from what you really want. You've worked too hard to let that happen now."

"But…"

Putting on her Soldier Sam face and voice, the leader of the SGC took Jennifer by the upper arms and shook her once. "No buts! If you want to take this guy down, _do it!_ You don't have to be afraid. If you're gonna go out, go out fighting."

Jennifer thought about what Sam was saying. "Never give up."

"Louder!"

"_Never give up!_"

"I can't hear you!"

"NEVER GIVE UP!"

Setting the elevator in motion again, Sam just let Jennifer think about everything. "Bye."

~~O~~

Jennifer stomped into the Gate Room bellowing at the top of her lungs. "Walter!"

"_Shall I dial Atlantis, Dr. Keller?_"

"Hell no! I'm goin' back to Area 52." She stared up at him, her brown eyes glaring a hole in the reinforced windows.

"_Ma'am?_" Walter couldn't keep the confusion out of his voice.

"_Just do it! I've got a flying pig to kick in the backside._"

~~O~~

Arriving in the main lobby, Jennifer swiped her card and pushed through the main security door marching down the hall to bang on David's door like a cop on a drug bust. A few doors down, a dark haired woman came out into the hall.

"Can I help you, Dr. Keller?"

"Yes, Sheila. Where's Magee?" The fire in her eyes dissipated just a little when the older woman just stood there watching her with amusement. "What?"

"Nothing." She pointed her chin at the door they were standing in front of. "He's not in yet. Had a dentist appointment or something."

That deflated nearly all of Jennifer's anger. "Oh. Um, happen to know where Sheppard and Lorne are?"

With a roll of her eyes, Sheila turned back for her office. "Try the gym. I heard something was going down with those two and to tell the truth, I'm surprised it took this long."

With a last glare at David's door, Jennifer let herself into the employee area. She turned the corner, stumbling to a stop when she saw a group of people clumped in the doorway to the gym, the unmistakable sounds of fighting coming from inside. Pushing her way to the front, she gasped when she saw what was going on. The slight whisper of alarm was quickly replaced by irritation and anger. All activity came to a stop when she stepped all the way into the room. "What the HELL is going on here?"

**TBC**


	17. Fighting the Good Fight

**N/A:** Thanks again to ladygris for her assistance with this chapter. She gave me so many great ideas that this one is closer to a collaboration.

**Coffee alert!** For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a warning that drinking or eating while reading this submission may cause spit-takes. It's issued to avoid having readers accidentally spit on their computers.

Enjoy and don't forget to review!

Thanks,

Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 17**

**Fighting the Good Fight**

The room smelled of stale sweat and air freshener as if someone had tried to cover up the natural emissions of the human body when it was being pushed to its limits. Not that sweat was a pleasant smell, but it was an olfactory reminder that people cared enough to take care of themselves through regular exercise. Mixed in with that was the scents of the Commissary. More than one individual had wondered why the food prep area was so close to the gym.

One of those individuals entered, tossed his towel and water bottle in a corner and began his warm-up routine. A few minutes later he was joined by another. They ignored each other for the most part until the first heard his companion grunting in mild pain. He didn't say anything, just watched him out of the corner of his eye while listening to him grunt and groan as he stretched.

Evan ignored the noises coming from John as he turned away to pick up the twelve-pound weights, seated himself on the bench and began his bicep curls. A minute later an annoying thumping interrupted his concentration. John was at the hanging punching bag pummeling the thing with his bare knuckles as if he was beating up someone specific. Probably himself, to go by the look on his face. Every time he hit the bag it swung away then back at him reducing the impact and lessening its effectiveness as a workout tool.

Putting aside his animosity for the moment, Evan moved over to hold the bag still so John's workout would actually be beneficial instead of aggravating. John acknowledged him with a nod and picked up speed, grunting each time he hit the bag.

He kept it up longer than Evan thought he'd be able to until John, panting, stepped back to get a drink and wipe his face. Evan let his grip slacken, his attention taken from his task when Dora called out to him. He waved just as John shot out with a punch that pushed the bag into Evan hitting the shorter man in the chest and stomach earning him a grunt. In retaliation, he shoved it back getting John on the chin and upper chest.

Angered, John returned the favor. Ready for it, Evan caught the bag, his eyes narrowing dangerously. He stepped out from behind the bag walking backward to the middle of the sparring mat making a come-and-get-me gesture. John took him up on it, dropping into a fighting stance that was mirrored by his partner.

They circled each other around the heavily padded mat eyes locked looking for an opening. To get the ball rolling John threw a front jab aimed for Evan's jaw, but Evan deflected the punch, grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a knee to the stomach immediately going all out.

"Ooff!" was all John said as Evan kept hold of his arm and spun him around. But John turned into the spin and flipped Evan onto his back with a forearm strike as he kicked his feet out from under him.

Evan shot to his feet before John could continue to press his advantage and they began warily circling again. Without warning, Evan went on the offensive, using his superior speed and got a hold of John's arm spinning him around. John rolled around his strike and slammed Evan into the padded wall. With a growl, Evan pushed off moving fast. When he got close John made an attempt to make an upward thrust at Evan's nose. It was deflected, turning John to the side. With a snort of triumph, Evan punched John in the kidney. The power in that punch spoke of anger that was now beginning to show on his face.

Using the power behind that punch, John continued to spin coming around with a backhanded forearm strike to the side of Evan's head. As he kept into the turn, he followed it up with a punch to the stomach, his own anger behind it. Fortunately for Evan, unfortunately for John, Evan was in great shape, his abs absorbing most of the shock. When John tried to bring his right fist around, instead of deflecting the punch, Evan grabbed the arm, dropped to one knee and threw John to the mat.

~~O~~

On her tip-toes, Ana stretched trying to reach a box on the top shelf of the supply closet. There should have been a stepstool there but it was MIA. She slipped, knocking a bottle of something off a lower shelf sending it crashing to the floor. A moment later, Derek appeared in the doorway.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Could you get that for me?" Derek reached over Ana and snagged the box she'd been after. "Thanks."

"No problem." His voice was soft and his expression tender. "I've been trying to figure out how to get you alone all day and here you go and do it for me."

"Oh?" Before she could say more, he took her in his arms and kissed her.

~~O~~

The wind had been knocked out of John making him groan. When he opened his eyes, Evan had gotten to his feet and the look in his eyes put John on alert. Though Evan's expression didn't change, John could tell from the tension in his body what he had in mind. He was able to roll away and get to one knee in time to block an overhead strike with both hands crossed at the wrists.

Evan shot out his free hand to get John in the stomach, but John managed to grab the other man's wrist using it to help him stand again and twisting that arm behind Evan's back. Bending Evan forward restricted his movement but it also gave Evan a new target. He reached for John's leg, squeezing the calf that had cramped up on him a few days before. The muscle wasn't sore any longer but Evan's nails digging into him hurt and a moment later, the hand holding his arm behind his back let go.

Spinning to face John, Evan grabbed the front of his T-shirt, stepping around behind to get him in a headlock. In a surprise move, John used his palm to push up on the bent elbow of the arm holding onto the shirt, ducked down and under that same arm straightening it into a wristlock. Stepping back, he bent Evan at the waist pulling him face first onto the mat, his arm behind him and John on one knee facing his feet. Neither man had noticed that they'd drawn a crowd until they heard a familiar voice using a very unfamiliar tone.

"What the HELL is going on here?" Jennifer had returned.

Someone in the crowd said, "Uh-oh. She's using her _doctor_ voice." Within seconds the hallway was clear again.

Both men looked to the side in time to see their audience disappear leaving the three of them alone. Evan was still on his stomach with John holding him in the wristlock that had to be just short of too painful.

"John…"

"Yeah?"

"Let…him…up." She emphasized each word.

"Oh. Yeah." John did as he was told coming immediately to his feet using willpower alone not to show that the room had started spinning. Beside him, Evan also stood, both men panting and covered in sweat. John had a split lip and a bruise on the edge of his jaw. Evan had the beginnings of a black eye, not much, just at the outside edge, and a small trickle of blood came from his nose. Both had bruised knuckles. They said nothing. Just let her look from one to the other waiting for an answer. "_What_ were you fighting about?"

Together they said, "Nothing." Hands on her hips, Jennifer glared at them, John continuing alone. "We were just, uh…"

"…sparring," Evan finished.

"_Sparring?_ The two of you were beating the _crap_ out of each other."

The men glanced at each other then back to Jennifer with John again doing the talking. "We're guys. That's how we show affection…to other guys that is."

Rolling her eyes, she turned and strode quickly out of the gym with the men following her. "I'm going to the Infirmary to check on a patient. Both of you get showered and changed then we're going out to eat so we can work out how to catch you-know-who."

John lengthened his stride to come alongside her. "I told you _we'd_ handle this. Why aren't you in Atlantis?"

"Because I'm helping."

"You shouldn't be here. What if…"

"No, John. He's been doing it to others and I am _not_ gonna watch from the sidelines while the two of you do something I should have done a long time ago." Jennifer lifted her chin rebelliously, her back straightening, sparks coming from her brown eyes. "And there's nothing _you_ can do to stop me. Besides, you need someone to be the bait." That said she kept going straight when they turned into the employee area. She was about to swipe her card when a shout from Evan had her running back the way she'd come.

~~O~~

Evan slowed down letting Sheppard get ahead of him preferring to make the remainder of the journey to his room alone. He didn't know what had come over him but as soon as the bag smacked him, he'd let all his rage and frustration with the role the other man had played in Lee's death come to the surface. He'd managed to get it under some sort of control though he still wanted to pound on Sheppard until it was gone. Not that it would have brought Lee back, but he would have felt as if he'd gotten a small amount of revenge.

Up ahead, Sheppard stopped with his door open just a crack, shook his head as if to clear it then fell to the floor. His water bottle, the cap off, rolled across the carpet leaving a wet trail.

"Jen!" Evan shouted. He ran to the side of his nemesis and was just rolling him onto his back when she returned to his side.

~~O~~

John opened his eyes and once again the light in the ceiling made a halo around Angel's head. The halo disappeared when he blinked as she and Lorne helped him sit up.

"John?"

"Wha' happ'n'?"

"You passed out." She and Evan helped him to his feet but when they steered him toward the Infirmary, he balked.

"Where you takin' me?"

"You passed out, John. We have to find out why." Her tone was reasonable yet firm.

"I'm fi…whoa!" Again a wave of dizziness came over him making him sway, Jennifer and Evan the only things keeping him on his feet. "On the other hand…"

Jennifer grinned at Evan behind John's back. "I knew you'd see it my way."

**A Few Hours Later**

**Café dans le Désert**

"You didn't finish your Ratatouille."

John glared at Jennifer who just grinned back. "That's because I don't _like_ eggplant. Get me Filet Au Poivre, asparagus with Hollandaise and a bottle of Australian Shiraz. I promise to eat every bite."

Jennifer was already shaking her head before he'd finished speaking. "You passed out due to low blood sugar coupled with the fact that you're still not completely healed from the injuries you sustained at the hands of the Wraith. You need something good for you right now." She speared a piece of her Quiche Du Jour avec Salade and ate it.

Though he knew no help would come from that quarter, John looked at Lorne who just smiled calmly chewing a bite of Marinated Portabello Mushroom salad and Grilled Asparagus. Just to tweak his partner, he stuck his pinky in the air as he sipped daintily from his peach-raspberry iced tea.

"Forget it." John pushed the plate away. "What's for dessert?"

"Tarte aux Fruits Rouges. But you're not getting any until you've eaten everything on your plate."

John made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat, pulled the plate back in front of him and began eating. "You know, you'd make a terrific mom." He said it with just a touch of sarcasm meaning it to be an insult and a compliment at the same time but when Jennifer stopped with her fork in the air and her mouth open, he realized how it sounded. _Oh, crap!_ "Uh, you know, because you give orders so well."

Her cheeks turned a bright pink. She dropped her eyes to her plate, laid her fork down and reached for her tea drinking the entire thing without stopping and slamming the glass to the table. She saw a hand out as if reaching for something only then realizing that she'd just finished off _Evan's_ tea.

He gave her what she was coming to know as his patented half-amused, half-shocked expression that he used to express his wry sense of humor. "No problem, doc. I was done with it."

Resting her elbows on the table, her head in her hands, she said just two words. "Oh, crap."

When dessert came, they ate in silence until the server came around with coffee. John took one sip from his cup, placed it carefully back on the saucer and reached into his inside pocket producing a pad and a pen. "I've made a few notes on how to solve the problem of our mutual headache, David Magee."

Glad to be back on firm footing, Jennifer and Evan scooted around where they could see what John had written.

Jennifer covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her laughter.

Evan read and re-read what John had written. "The hell…"

"You like her, don't you?"

"Of course. But…"

John sat back, one hand clicking the pen over and over. "I do too, but she likes _you_ more than _me_ making _you_ the obvious choice."

Rubbing the back of his head, Evan sighed heavily. "Okay. I'll do it but I'm tellin' you, she's gonna know something hinky's going on."

"So? This'll work because she flirts with anything with XY chromosomes _except_ Magee, Woolsey and Sonny. Oh, and that weird guy in the motor pool."

"Alvin or Barney?"

"Ruddy."

"Ugh. Don't blame her there." Jennifer added with her nose wrinkled in disgust.

John nodded in agreement. "You flirt, she flirts and _we_ get the means to remove Magee."

With a long suffering sigh, Evan agreed. "Fine. But don't blame me if it blows up in our faces."

The server came with the check just in time to hear Evan's last words looking startled as she stood between the men waiting to be told who to give the tab to. Evan pointed at John. "_He's_ the brains. Give it to him."

"Hey, I still haven't gotten my first paycheck."

Both men looked at Jennifer as she reached across the table and snatched it from the woman's hand. "I'll take it. This _is_ a business lunch after all."

~~O~~

Standing outside the office, Evan took a deep breath, passed a hand through his hair and lightly fingered the dark blue bruise next to his eye hoping it would at least garner him some sympathy. He also hoped his smile looked genuine as he knocked and received permission to enter.

"Afternoon, Sheila."

The admin smile brightly. "Good to see you again, Special Agent. What happened to your eye?"

He shrugged putting on a brave front. "Oh, it's nothing."

"Huh. Your 'nothing' cost me three bucks." The older woman said it with a smirk so he'd know she wasn't really upset.

"You bet on me to win? Thanks."

Sheila waved away the compliment. "So what can I do for you, Special Agent?"

Moving over to perch on the corner of her desk, one leg swinging, he smiled. "To start with, call me Evan."

She returned his smile. "Evan." Removing the wireless phone headset, she set it aside and leaned forward, her chin resting in her hand. Her dark hair was sprinkled here and there with strands of white. Not being a vain person, she never colored it. Though she was older than Evan by ten years, she wasn't above flirting with the younger man. "So what's up, handsome?"

Evan couldn't help blushing just a little. "Um…" he searched frantically for something to say that didn't sound cliché, trite…creepy. "Did you know the Irish and Gaelic meaning of Sheila is 'blind' but in Hindi it means 'gentle'."

Just to spook him, she winked one blue eye. "So which do you think I am?"

He stood, tucked his thumbs into the waistband of his pants and looked at her. "Well, shucks, ma'am. Ah think yer 'bout the perrtiest little filly Ah've seen in a dog's age." His goofy cowboy accent made her laugh. That laughter increased when he pushed an imaginary cowboy hat back on his head and pretended to spit.

Playing along, she batted her long dark lashes and dropped into an exaggerated southern accent. "Why thank you, kind suh."

They laughed together and when it died, Sheila sat back in her chair, her arms crossed. "Okay, now that _that's_ out of way, what do you _really_ want?"

"I told Sheppard you'd know something was up."

"Uh-huh. Out with it, Evan."

He spent the next few minutes detailing what was needed and what they intended to do with it. To his surprise, she couldn't give him the equipment fast enough.

Standing before him, her short-sleeved silk burgundy top tucked into the waistband of a dark gray pencil skirt that reached just to the top of her knees, and heels allowing her to look him in the eye, she smiled again. "You _sure_ that's all you need? 'Cause I can get my hot little hands on all kinds of goodies, some of which would be incredibly painful when attached to certain areas of the male anatomy."

He nodded with satisfaction. "Absolutely." Setting the boxes on the corner of her desk, he impulsively put his hands on her upper arms and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek, jerking back when a male voice intruded.

"Hey! What're doing?"

Releasing Sheila and spinning around guiltily, Evan looked up…and up into the angry face of a man in dark blue scrubs. His meaty fists were clenched at his sides and he looked ready to fight.

"He was just being _nice._" Sheila stepped around Evan to stand next to the big man. "Sonny, this is Special Agent Evan Lorne. He's Sheppard's new partner. Evan, this is Sonny "Rowdy Nitro" Salgado. Please excuse my brother's rudeness. He used to be a professional wrestler and being an _ass_ is part of the job description."

"Brother?"

Her smile faded just a little. "Hastings is my married name." At his expression, she explained. "My husband passed away."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Evan was relieved. He'd only flirted with her because she didn't have a ring on her left hand. Now he knew why.

She waved away his apology. "It was a while ago. We'd only been married three years when it happened."

"Still… Uh, I'm gonna get out of here. Thanks again." Closing the door, the agent chuckled when he heard the petite Sheila giving the muscle-bound Sonny a good talking to.

**TBC**

**A/N:** I know. Not my usual cliffhanger though I hope the next chapter will make up for it. The boys and Jen are doing a take-down that will have you cheering…hopefully.

~SL


	18. Sound and Fury

**A/N:** For those of you who are following this story, I thank you for your continued patronage. The previous chapters have been the prelude or overture, if you prefer, to what is coming up. John and Evan will now take center stage with the other characters in supporting roles and the occasional guest appearance.

FYI - If you have a favorite team member or OC that you'd like to see, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm happy to accommodate where and when possible.

Special thanks go out to ladygris for her continued encouragement and support as this has the makings of being one of the most daunting storylines I've undertaken.

Namaste,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 18**

**Sound and Fury**

"So it's all set. We'll meet in your office at 2200." John looked at Jennifer waiting for her agreement. He had stopped calling her by the nickname mostly because he only thought of her as Angel now and the slip-up before was sure to bring about a heart-to-heart with his partner. Something he wanted to avoid for the foreseeable future.

Jennifer nodded. "So what should I wear to this clandestine meeting of Operation: Weasel Hunt? All black? Knitted cap to cover my hair? Rubber soled shoes? I can bring latex gloves so we don't leave fingerprints. You'll have to give me some advice 'cause I've never been involved in this sort of, uh, op."

John covered up a grin by scratching the end of his nose and resisted an eye roll when Evan did the same. "Won't be necessary. But there _is_ something you can do. The guy in IT kinda likes you. Think you could get us some tools and help?"

"Let me get this straight. _Evan_ flirts with _Sheila_ and _I_ flirt with _Orval_."

"Yeah." John shrugged as if it was a given.

Jennifer crossed her arms. "I'm just wondering what _your_ role is in this. All you've done so far is give orders."

Relaxing back in his seat, John crossed his arms and grinned. "Lorne said it at lunch. _I'm_ the brains. Giving orders is my _job_."

"Uh-huh. So you _ordered_ Evan to fight with you this morning?"

"Not…exactly." Now John was looking uncomfortable and a bit awkward.

Turning to Evan, she was surprised to see him with the same expression. "Okay, guys. Who started it?"

Without even glancing at each other, both men said at the same time, "_He_ did. What? _I_ didn't start it, _you_ started it!"

Rolling her eyes, the medical doctor stood. "Fine. _Don't_ tell me. I'll get Orval to help us and meet you at ten. _Try_ to behave until then." _Look__ who I'm talking to! Grrr!_

~~O~~

When John left his co-conspirators, he went directly to Woolsey's office rapping on the open door.

"Come in. Have a seat." Once John was seated, Richard turned from his computer. "What can I do for you, Special Agent?"

"I need to know how to get to wherever McKay is."

Richard's smile said "Is _that_ all?" Opening the drawer to his right, he took out a device no larger than a dog tag. "This is a GDO. When you activate it, it sends a signal to whichever ship is in orbit, _Daedalus, Apollo, Odyssey, or Prometheus_. You're beamed aboard then on to your destination." He pushed it across the desk where John just looked at it with mistrust. Finally, he picked it up, turning over to examine it from all sides.

"This little thing will get me…" he pointed at the ceiling, "…onto a spaceship?"

"It will indeed."

After a deep breath, John had only one more thing to say. "Cool. So I just press this and I'm…" he disappeared before he could finish the sentence.

**Aboard the **_**Daedalus**_

"…on a…Whoa!"

"Welcome aboard the _Daedalus_, Special Agent Sheppard." A man with light brown hair and a boyish grin stepped forward, hand extended. "I'm Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Marks, commanding."

John took the other man's hand automatically, his eyes staring around at everything. "Sonofa…" his eyes landed on the viewport. "Is that Earth?"

"It is." Kevin's hands were clasped behind his back as he stood next to John, a proud smile on his face. "Would you like the fifty-cent tour?"

"Uh…not right now. I, uh, gotta go see…" John snapped his fingers.

"Dr. McKay."

"Yeah, him." Pulling his eyes away from the view, he finally looked at his host. "He's at Stargate Command, right?"

"Yes. General Carter just gave birth so he's taken an LOA." Kevin nodded to his helmsman, Lieutenant Reyna Chavez. She touched a few controls and John disappeared.

**Area 52**

**Infirmary**

Now that the only patient had been released the Infirmary was quiet, almost as if there'd never been a patient within its walls. Lights were on and machine noises whispered unknown words to the afternoon sunlight filtering in through the windows. No dust particles danced in the sun's rays as the entire facility was equipped with a state-of-the-art environmental system that kept the air clean and allergen free.

The beds were neatly made with crisp white sheets and light blue blankets folded over the footboards, but the ward was empty as were ICU and the nurse's station.

Jennifer stood in front of the desk tapping her foot. She'd already been to the office but Derek wasn't there and now Ana was MIA. The situation puzzled her because both knew better than to leave the area unattended even if there were no patients.

_Maybe they've gone to the Commissary._

Heading in the direction, Jennifer stopped when a muffled thump reached her ears as she passed the supply closet. She yanked the door open to find her assistant and head nurse engaged in a passionate embrace. Arms still around each other, Derek and Ana looked at Jennifer, their eyes wide at getting caught.

After about ten incredibly uncomfortable seconds, Jennifer pulled the door closed and went to the IT office. She didn't see either of them for the rest of their shift and that was fine with her.

**Stargate Command**

Following the directions to General Carter's quarters given to him by Senior Master Sergeant "call me Walter" Harriman, John got out of the lift on the Barracks level. When he got close, he slowed down, suddenly reluctant to disturb the family though it was necessary as neither he, Lorne nor Angel had the skills needed to perform this part of their plan.

There were also some things you never forgot because they'd been drummed into you for so long they'd become second nature. John smoothed his unruly hair flat as much as possible then checked that his clothes, though casual, were neat and presentable. He tapped the door just hard enough to be heard and hopefully not loud enough to wake the kids. A moment later, Sam's face appeared in the opening.

"Captain Sheppard."

John caught himself before he saluted. "I'm sorry to disturb you, ma'am, but could I speak to Dr. McKay? I won't keep him long."

One corner of her mouth lifted in a half smile, gesturing at a closed door at the other end of the room. "He's communicating with Atlantis at the moment. Something I can do for you?"

"Yes, ma'am, if you would. I need a couple of computer programs created. One-time use only."

With a nod, she stepped back and allowed him to enter. In a darkened corner as far from the door as possible sat two cribs made of honey-colored wood surrounded by matching dressers and changing tables. He must have been staring for a while because he jumped when Sam spoke to him.

"Would you like to see them?"

"Um, sure." John followed her over, leaning down to peer into the gloom. Both little ones were on their backs, propped with softly cushioned wedges of memory foam covered in ultra-soft material to keep them from rolling over onto their stomachs. He remembered hearing something about it preventing crib death. The girl was in pink, covered with a pink crocheted blanket, one little fist pushed into her cheek giving her the appearance of smiling in her sleep. The boy wore blue with a blue blanket identical to his sister's, both arms flung out to the sides. The awe John felt was reflected in his voice. "Wow. Are they…"

"They're both perfectly healthy, Captain." With a nod, she drew him over to the desk area. "What do you need the programs to do?"

It was just the opening John was looking for and he quickly outlined his requirements. Opening her computer, Sam waited for it to come out of power saver mode then worked the device like a concert pianist, her hands flying over the keys faster than he could see. Within a few minutes, she ejected the CD, slipped in another and continued typing. When she was done, she ejected that CD too, inserted them into a plastic case and handed it to him.

"I'll be getting a copy of your report, _right_, Captain Sheppard?"

Her tone indicated that he should agree but a sudden need to be willful came over him. His mouth turned upward in a smile similar to the one Olivia appeared to be bestowing on the world. "On one condition, General." Sam's smile changed to her dangerous one, her blue eyes getting that glint that had made many a seasoned soldier inwardly cringe and had frightened more than a few civilians. "Please stop calling me Captain."

"What _should_ I call you? Special Agent Sheppard is too cumbersome and Captain…"

"No longer applies so just call me John. And I'll call you…" he waited for her to respond with a request to call her by her given name.

"General, General Carter or ma'am." The firmness behind those words didn't escape John's notice.

"Yes, ma'am." John lifted the CD case. "And thank you. I'll get these back to you as soon as this op is completed."

"No need…John. I've inserted commands that will render the programs inert after three days. So whatever you're gonna do, do it quick."

**Area 52**

**Keller's Office**

**2200 Hours**

Jennifer took out the tool kit she'd acquired from Orval. She hadn't even had to flirt with him. All she did was ask and he'd given her all the tools he thought she might need after extracting a promise to return everything in the same pristine condition. Naturally she'd agreed. He then set a pair of laptops in the server room leaving a printout on how to use them in this configuration as well as how to disconnect them. The last item on the list ordered them to just unhook the computers and leave them there for later retrieval.

Their little project still wasn't finished when 0130 arrived and Jennifer was doing her best not to let the men see her yawning. It didn't work and once again John sent her to his room. All she'd been able to do was give advice on the placement of the equipment and hand them tools as they needed them. She was a brilliant surgeon but her mechanical abilities were rudimentary at best.

After protesting more out of habit than because she wanted to stay, she finally went to bed.

And once again John was left with the vision of her sleeping in his bed to distract him from his purpose. Though knowing that Lorne would be watching everything he did kept his mind focused…for the most part. They finally finished around 0300 and took themselves to bed. Evan to his room and John to the Infirmary where Dora welcomed him with a smile and a clean set of scrubs.

**The Next Evening**

**Just Before Sunset**

The next step in their plan was to make sure that Magee knew Jennifer would be alone in her office. John and Evan let it slip within his hearing that they would be at the SGC for a meeting until nearly midnight. They pretended to transport out then went to the server room where they'd already set up monitoring equipment that had been tapped into the video feeds for the entire complex. Now all they had to do was wait for him to pounce in order to commence Operation: Weasel Hunt. And the man didn't disappoint. Within minutes he was lying in wait for Jennifer to come out of her office.

~~O~~

The wireless headset in Jennifer's right ear clicked twice signaling that Magee had taken the bait and was on his way. She pulled it off and stuck it in her pocket leaving it activated so John and Evan could hear what was going on just in case. Taking a drink of water hoping to calm her nerves, she reflected on an incident from high school.

At her father's urging, she'd joined the drama department and six weeks later she was back in the counselor's office begging to switch her elective to Culinary Arts. She didn't do well but at least she didn't have to get up in front of the class and pretend to be someone else.

Standing, she undid the top button of her top almost as if it were an accident, letting just enough cleavage show to get his attention. Pulling the elastic from her hair, she shook it loose letting it frame her face the way it had the day John had first called her Angel. Reaching into the middle drawer of her desk, she pulled out lip gloss and smoothed a thin coat over her lips. One last check in the mirror and she was ready.

~~O~~

Magee sat in his office watching the video feed from outside Jennifer's office. She was carrying that goofy cup she seemed to love so much. Hurrying down the hall, he made it to the break room before she could escape into her office again. "Jennifer."

She whirled around, her eyes wide and a hand to her chest as the air rushed in and out. "Oh, Mr. Magee, you scared me. I thought I was alone."

He moved in close trapping her in the corner of the counter, one hand on either side of her. "As I've mentioned on more than a few occasions, if you're with me you'll never have to be alone." As before, he used one hand to lift a strand of her hair and twirl it around his finger.

"I-I don't really mind it that much. Until I left medical school I'd never been on my own so it's a nice change. My dad still worries though. If he only knew."

Her voice was tremulous as if she was frightened of him and he wanted to do something to alleviate some of that fear, maybe even endear her to him. Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew his iPhone. "Just to show you I'm sincere about only wanting your happiness…" he fiddled with his phone then held it up for her to see, "…that video of you and Sheppard? I'm deleting it."

~~O~~

The second Magee entered the break room Lorne began recording everything through the video cameras hidden strategically in cabinets and light fixtures in order to capture the action from as many different angles as possible.

Though it had been planned as a set-up, John's entire body tensed up and refused to relax as soon as Magee got close to Angel. He hadn't wanted her to be involved though he had no idea how they would have pulled this off without her. Keeping his eyes on the monitors in front of him, he and his partner watched and waited for just the right moment.

"Come on, Angel. You can do it. Let's _get_ the sonofabitch."

~~O~~

Evan kept his eyes and ears focused on what was taking place in the break room though a small part of him was also tuned in to Sheppard. There it was again. Angel. He probably didn't even realized he'd said it out loud.

"Sheppard."

"Yeah?"

"Why do you call Jennifer Angel?"

Sheppard turned an unreadable expression on Evan, staring at him for so long he was about to ask again when the man uncrossed his legs and leaned forward squinting at the screen. He tapped the monitor with a finger. "I don't think the one above the sink is working. Let's hope they stay where we can see them."

That was obviously Sheppard's way of changing the subject so Evan let it drop.

~~O~~

"You're really deleting it?" Jennifer's smile was sincere for the first time since their initial meeting. "Thank you."

Magee shrugged as if it were no big deal. "Now that I've shown you _my_ good intentions, it's time for you to reciprocate."

"Pardon?"

"Let me take you to dinner tonight." His eyes dropped to her chest and stayed there. "Afterward we can go to my place. I have a Jacuzzi and a swimming pool."

"It's kind of you to offer but I don't know how to swim and don't own a bathing suit." His laughter made her want to slap him, her fingers curling with the need feel in the impact of her palm on his disgusting face.

"Not a problem. We can skinny dip and stay in the shallow end."

_No thanks!_ _And you're from the shallow end of the __gene__ pool if you think I'd ever let you see me naked. _"As generous as that offer is, Mr. Magee, I'm going to have to decline."

He finally backed off from her taking the fog of wintergreen with him. "But _why_? You have turned me down every time I've asked you out. Why?"

Jennifer took a step toward him, laying her hand on his shoulder in pretend sympathy. "I'm sorry. It's just that, uh, I'm kind of…interested in somebody else."

"Sheppard!" Magee shrugged her hand away, pacing back and forth in short rapid steps, and muttering under his breath. "He should've been left in the desert for the vultures."

He faced away from her and Jennifer took an angry step forward, just barely managing to keep from hitting him. "_How_ can you _say_ that?"

"I can _say_ that because he is the biggest waste of…"

The medical doctor finally had enough of the man's insults, affronts, slurs and general rudeness. Her temper came to a full boil as she uncurled her fingers and drew back only to be stopped by John wrapping his arms around her from behind.

~~O~~

John and Evan saw it at the same time. Angel had finally had enough of the man and her temper was about to blow. Snapping the first CD out of the case, Evan dropped it into the player in the side of the main workstation while John tapped in the command to execute the program. Thankfully, Carter had made it easy for him to remember. By the time John finished, Evan was already in the hall. His partner didn't wait for him but allowed him to catch up so they arrived at the break room at the same time. Seeing the look in Angel's eyes, he rushed forward to stop her by pinning her arms at her sides, surprised when she began struggling.

"Let go!"

Magee had begun inching toward the doorway, Evan blocking his retreat. "Going somewhere, Magee? Stay. You're gonna love what we have planned next."

When Angel calmed down, John released her, turning to face Magee who looked like a caged animal. _Now you know how it feels!_ "You seem to like videos so we've made one just for you." Pulling an iPad from where he'd shoved it into the back of his pants, John turned the monitor toward Magee. "Just touch there to start it. Go on. It won't bite."

With a loud exhale, Magee did as requested. What he saw there made his face turn white as a sheet. "How…"

Evan opened cabinets and pointed to the ceiling. "We set up cameras here, here, there, over there, in here and, uh, there."

"And they've been broadcasting everything that happened since you came in here. So you see, your days at Area 52 are about to be reduced from years down to, oh, I'd say hours at most." Looking very satisfied, John stood with Angel and Evan awaiting Magee's reaction.

But he didn't say anything, not a word. Just turned and headed for the exit.

"Wait! I have a few things to say before you go." Again Evan moved to block the exit so Angel could have her say. "You know, all this time I've been afraid of you, of what you'd do to me, to my career because you held a position of authority around here _and_ the fact that your family is powerful force in Washington. But you're just a bully, a pathetic parasite feeding off of the fear you build when you beat down women's self-esteem. You threaten not only their jobs but their enjoyment of life and barely qualify as a human being." By the end of her rant she was standing toe to toe with Magee and he didn't like the look in her eyes at all.

Before anyone could move to stop her, assuming they wanted to, she slapped him. "_That's_ for me." Her hand came up and got him again. "_That's_ for Marie, the nurse you chased off though maybe I should thank you because she's one of the best nurses I've ever worked with." Magee started to relax thinking she was done when she slapped him again even harder. "And _that's_ for Melissa because you used her in the _worst_ possible way. To get your jollies." She paused a moment. "And I HATE wintergreen!"

~~O~~

Woolsey sat back when his monitor blinked and changed to a live feed of Magee, Dr. Keller, Sheppard and Lorne in one of the break rooms. Turning the audio up, he listened to what they were saying, his normal light scowl deepening as his level of anger increased. Making a few calls he discovered it was on every monitor in the building including the ones in the Commissary and the gym.

Pushing away from the desk, he headed for the heart of the action just as Sheila stuck her head out. "What's up, boss?"

"That's what I'm going to find out. Inform everyone to stay where they are."

~~O~~

"I never realized what a _b***h_ you could be, Jennifer." Magee's normal condescending expression had returned.

John took a step forward ready to hit the man himself, stopping when Jennifer touched him on the arm.

Crossing his arms, Magee scoffed. "I don't know _why_you're so upset about Melissa, Sheppard. You didn't miss anything by turning her down. She was…"

"Do NOT finish that sentence." John was on the verge of losing control. He really, _really_wanted to hit this guy, but because Angel had made a silent plea, he didn't. However, Magee's next comment overwhelmed her influence and he acted instinctively.

"Or _what?_"

His continued arrogance caused John to lunge at Magee, intent on his face and in the darkening of his hazel eyes only to be stopped when Evan got in front of him, grabbing the taller man and holding on tight. His voice was low enough that Magee couldn't hear.

"Don't. He's not worth it."

John's hands gripped Evan's upper arms, attempting to push him out of the way but the shorter man was much stronger than he looked.

Smirking now, Magee kept talking not comprehending that he was digging himself deeper with every word. "I just don't get it. You know as well as I do that women are just w****s out to take a man for whatever they can get. Shouldn't we be able to do the same without making a federal case?"

John felt the hostility he felt for Magee coming from his partner climb to a nearly unsustainable height even after he'd released him and taken a step back. Though he hadn't changed his facial expression, his eyes had gone so dark with rage they no longer looked blue. He watched his partner take several deep breaths to bring himself under control and turn.

The last thing Magee saw before everything went dark…was Evan's fist.

**TBC**


	19. Victory

**A/N:** A multitude of thanks to ladygris for all her help with this chapter. The title was her idea, just as an example. She also suggested I leave out a few things that would have made this just a jumble of words put together randomly that made only partial sense.

Thanks,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 19**

**Victory**

Evan drew back from the punch, tugged his shirt back into place, ran a hand through his hair and faced John and Jennifer again. Both were looking at him as if he'd grown a second head _and_ a third arm. "What?"

"Uh…" Jennifer didn't know what to say after that.

John, however, did. "You _hit_ him." Evan didn't say anything. "I can't _believe_ you hit him."

"What was I _supposed_ to do? Let him get away with saying…what he said?"

"But _I_wanted to hit him," John grouched.

"Me, too," Jennifer piped up.

"Uhnh…" Magee shook his head to clear it then got to his hands and knees.

Crouching next to him, John said, "I'd stay down if I were you. He might try to hit you again and I'd let him."

Magee sat on the floor working his jaw. "I'll have _all_your jobs for this. None of you will ever…"

"…have to worry about your threats again, David. I am _appalled_ that someone in the employ of the Stargate Program would do something so unspeakable."

Joining his co-conspirators, John motioned for quiet as Woolsey glowered down at the man on the floor.

Magee stared up at Woolsey then climbed to his feet. The younger man took his time smoothing his hair and carefully straightening his clothing, ending with tugging on snow white cuffs that glittered with platinum and onyx cufflinks. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Richard, though it's just as well. I'm ready to move on to something different."

"At least we agree that you're moving on. Your father's friendship with President Gardner is the only reason I haven't requested your resignation. Unless of course you _want_ to resign. You have thirty minutes to clean out your desk and turn in your access card. Either a transfer request or a resignation should be in my Inbox before you leave."

Bending down to pick up his phone, Magee slipped it into his inside breast pocket. "And you'll have it, but only because it suits me to do so. I've been thinking about transferring to DC anyway."

Woolsey shared a significant glance with the others, letting Magee get as far as the door before speaking again. "David, I should mention that there are no openings in DC. There is, however, a posting that's perfect for your particular…skill set. I know you'll love Whitehorse in winter."

Naturally, John could let someone else have the last word. "I hear it gets a little chilly in the Yukon Territories so be sure to take a sweater."

His face red with anger, Magee considered what to say and decided to remain quiet for once. He turned and made a hasty exit while John and Evan grinned and waved good-bye. Jennifer just heaved a relieved sigh and leaned against the counter.

Seconds later Tish entered, watching Magee stalk down the hall. "_Nice_ work, guys. You know, I _never_ liked him. He always tried to look up my skirt, even when I was wearing pants."

John looked around at his companions. "You know, the world is filled not only with genuinely ignorant people, but with people who embrace their ignorance as if it could shield them from things they have no control over…but _he's_ elevated it to an art form."

~~O~~

Woolsey looked from John to Jennifer to Evan. All three looked back unflinchingly. "You understand that this _entire_ operation was a gross misuse of company resources?"

John, Jennifer and Evan didn't even bother to consult each other. They just smiled and nodded, not the least bit repentant.

"As the Director of this facility I'll let you off with a verbal warning…this time. But as a human being, you did great." He went to the exit and when he reached Tish's side he turned back. "And get rid of those cameras before General O'Neill arrives next week."

~~O~~

Vesuvius served Italian food with grace and aplomb at reasonable prices with a casual atmosphere in an area not far from the strip. Close enough for the diners to go out for a few hours of gambling after eating but not so close that the over-abundance of lights and people aggravated. Jennifer chose it specifically because it didn't have any form of gambling devices within its walls. She could see John getting antsy, their triumph over Magee making him want to celebrate by laying a bet. She wanted to do the same though she wouldn't. And while she wasn't his official sponsor with GA there was no way he'd backslide with her around to prevent it.

Jennifer didn't know everything about John's past, not like Rodney did but she knew enough. Deep inside there was a warm and loving man waiting to emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon. It would take some time for that man to come out into the light of day where he could flourish and she was willing to wait. Not that she was in love with him. But she did care about the scared little boy that he had once been and still was in many ways. His reaction to the clothes she'd bought him had shown her that.

What she was surprised to see was the way he conducted himself now that his first "mission" had been completed. The situation with Magee had no doubt bolstered his flagging confidence allowing some of the *real* John Sheppard to emerge. Or at least the John Sheppard he could have been had his life not taken several disastrous wrong turns.

He'd ordered their meals _and_ the wine in Italian, speaking the language with no trace of an accent seemingly at ease with a long hidden part of himself for the first time since she'd met him. In fact, nearly every move he'd made since they'd left Area 52 spoke of someone who'd been brought up with money though she knew he hadn't a dime to his name at the moment and very little before that. He even made a joke-_in Italian!_-that had the server, a distinguished man in his fifties who'd immigrated to the US from Italy just ten years previously, laughing.

When the meal was over, they decided to walk off some of the Pasta e Fagioli, Osso Buco, Spaghetti alla **Vincenzo**, Chicken Portafino and Tiramisu with Kahlua. John on her left and Evan on her right, they maintained a companionable silence just taking in the sights of one of the few areas that didn't have wall to wall casinos.

As they passed a small store that advertised nothing priced over two dollars, Jennifer entered and returned with two of the gaudiest walking canes they'd ever seen. One was bright green with orange dots all over it and the other was yellow with purple stripes. Both had grips shaped like incomplete question marks in fake brass. They had been complete gentlemen, and her strange sense of humor wanted to reward them. She held the gaudy sticks out, but John and Evan just stared at her so she tucked them under her arm and kept walking.

Just as Jennifer had decided to tuck her free hand into the crook of John's elbow, they turned the corner and were confronted by a group of five men, the oldest of which couldn't have been more than twenty-three. A pile of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles against the side of the building told the story of how they'd lain in wait for rich tourists who'd wandered off the beaten path.

"Your money, jewelry, watches and cell phones. Now!" The snick of a switchblade opening followed the snarled order.

~~O~~

Pushing Angel behind them, John and Lorne engaged the young men in a battle that didn't last long as their would-be robbers had absolutely no fighting skills. They'd evidently relied on intimidation, numbers and the knife to get them what they wanted. When the two former military officers were through, four men lay moaning and groaning on the sidewalk.

John dusted his hands off while Lorne pulled out his cell phone, but before he could dial his attention was caught by the clack and crack of wood smacking wood. As one, they swung around to see Angel using one of those ridiculous canes to engage the fifth robber in a sort of sword fight.

Somehow, the last guy had gotten one of Angel's canes and was attempting to hit her with it, but the medical doctor countered every one of his moves and even got in a few licks of her own. The guy let down his guard and Angel's cane whooshed through the air to whack him on the side of his knee. She twirled the cane like a baton as she stayed just out of reach, stepping in to hit him then backing off just as quickly.

Her face a mask of concentration, she switched hands and hit the man on the knuckles of his right hand making him drop his weapon. While he nursed his sore fingers, she used the toe of her shoe to step on the grip of the cane he'd dropped and flip it into the air, catching it in her right hand.

_I better watch my step with her or she could do some damage. Oh, man! I think I'm in loooove! _

Now she twirled both canes waiting for her opponent to make a move. And he did. He tried to bull-rush her but she stepped aside at the last second and smacked him on the backside making him howl with pain and the loss of his dignity.

~~O~~

Evan watched with fascination as Jennifer beat the living daylights out of the last of the robbers. He knew he should intervene but watching her was just so…captivating. She moved with grace and determination, easily countering all the man's moves. At that moment he completely understood Sheppard's attraction for her. He had a small crush on her himself.

Sheppard leaned close to whisper, "Are _you_ thinkin' what _I'm _thinkin'?"

"That Magee got off easy?" His partner nodded. "Yeah." They watched a few seconds longer then Evan started forward but Sheppard stopped him.

"This one's mine." Sheppard slipped around behind the man who'd managed to get hold of one of the canes and was trying to yank it from Jennifer's hands. He tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned, John hit him with a powerful uppercut that knocked him out.

Evan used his cell to call the police and tell them where to pick up a bunch of trash. Knowing that his number was blocked and completely unhackable, he didn't bother to give his name. Thumbing the end key, he tuned in just as Jennifer was taking Sheppard to task.

"How _long_ were you gonna just stand there and _watch_, John? Evan?"

Sheppard had the decency to look contrite. "Sorry, but you seemed to have everything under control."

Jennifer sputtered with indignation, unable to form a coherent word she was so angry. But that anger dissipated when Evan told her, "_That_ was impressive, doc. Where'd you learn it?"

They started walking back toward their vehicle. "Atlantis. Teyla, the leader of the Athosians gave me lessons in Bantos fighting using sticks about so long…" she spread her hands wide still holding the canes, "…with fancy carvings on them. Once you're even mildly proficient, well, you saw. You can use just about anything to fight with. I once used a branch to fend off a Wraith until Rodney could get his Glock unjammed and shoot him."

"Like Jackie Chan." Grinning, Sheppard remarked, "We have _got _to go there one of these days."

She rolled her eyes as she veered off to shove the blood smeared canes into a trash can. "Yes, like Jackie Chan. And you _should_ come for a visit. I'll introduce you to Ronon."

"Ronon?" Evan asked, not certain he'd like the answer.

"He's, uh…I guess you could call him the Pegasus version of Chewbacca, but with a _major_ attitude."

~~O~~

Silence came over the trio and Jennifer got an urge. Again walking in the middle, she lifted her hand and tucked it around John's elbow. He started at the sudden touch then relaxed bending that arm and holding it tight to his side.

After a few steps he gave her a quick glance which she returned with a smile.

~~O~~

Once again John gave Angel his room, knowing that she'd be wearing one of his shirts to bed. If this kept happening, he'd have no T-shirts left because he refused to have them washed. He felt he was being a fool for doing so though no one else knew. It was his little secret that he loved the way his clothes smelled after she'd worn them to sleep in.

Lorne had excused himself and gone into his room leaving John in the hall with Angel.

"Before you go, John, we need to talk." A quick flash of alarm flickered in his eyes and was quickly doused. "About that night."

"I, uh, thought we did that, you know, then."

She led him to her office and closed the door making sure it was locked. Still, she lowered her voice. "What almost happened between us is what Magee was using to get me to…" Her earlier elation and bravado having dissipated, she took a deep breath forcing herself to continue. "What if _Mr. Woolsey_ sees that recording? We'll _both_ be in trouble and getting rid of Magee would have been a waste of time."

"Getting rid of a creep like him is never a waste of time."

"_Don't_ act like an idiot, John. You can't pull it off." Her expression was annoyed. "We almost _slept_ together."

John faced the floor, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "But we didn't." He felt more than saw her come to stand in front of him.

"And there's something else. While it's not expressly forbidden, members of GA are discouraged from beginning any new…intimate relationships. At least not right away." Her voice changed and he knew she was smirking now. "So you're safe for the time being."

He leaned his hips against the door, arms crossed to keep from reaching for her. _Safe is relative. I'll never be safe with you around, Angel._ His awkward and uncomfortable expression was back though he did smile. "You know, I have to talk to Doc Adams about my feelings all the time. Can't I get a break the rest of the time?" The second the words left his mouth, he wanted to take them back. Especially when her features softened and blossoms of pink sprouted on her cheeks. He didn't know why, but that got to him. It just _got_ to him.

"Did you just say you have feelings…for me?"

"Uh…" His eyes wouldn't meet hers because he knew what she would see. She would see that he wanted to take her in his arms and go forward from where they left off the night they'd kissed. But he didn't dare. Somehow he knew that even one time with her would create an instant addiction he'd never be able to overcome. Nor would he want to.

"Relax. You don't have to answer, but I do want you to think about something." Angel held out her hands and after a moment, he placed his much larger ones in them. She gripped tight but didn't pull him close. "If you hold on too tightly to the past, your arms will be too full to embrace the present."

~~O~~

Standing there holding John's hands, Jennifer could feel him pulling away. Not physically but emotionally. At least it wasn't a hasty retreat as it had been before. This time it was a slow drift as if they were on a lazy river in separate boats that were moving away from each other a little bit at a time. Eventually, he released her hands letting his arms hang at his sides.

"I better go."

All Jennifer could do was nod as she watched him leave her again.

~~O~~

John stopped in the doorway, one hand holding the door open, wavering. Did he want to give in to temptation? He let his subconscious lead him and before Angel could do more than widen her eyes, he'd swept her close and kissed her. He'd thought she'd push him away given what they'd been talking about, but she responded very enthusiastically. He let his hands rest on her waist, making her gasp as they slid up her sides to just under her breasts without actually touching them, then moved around to her back.

His mind went blank when she moved against him, stirring the embers that had smoldered between them since the moment they'd met in the morgue over that dead body. Oh, yeah. He'd finally admitted to himself that he'd been drawn to her from the beginning. And from the way she was responding, it was mutual. But he also knew that if they didn't call a halt to this and soon, they'd both be filled with regret in the morning.

Reluctantly, he slowed then stopped their kiss, and stepped back. One last lingering glance at her flushed face, heaving chest and tousled hair and he was gone.

~~O~~

Dora knew Jennifer was on the premises and sought her out for her signature on some requisitions. What she found instead was her boss in a passionate clench with a former patient. Not that she was surprised. She'd seen the way they looked at each other when the other wasn't looking. No. What did surprise her was that it took this long. The petite nurse just grinned and went back to work.

_It's about time!_

~~O~~

Instead of going straight to the Infirmary, John headed for the Commissary to get something cold to drink hoping it would help calm his overheated body and racing heart. But when he reached the doorway, he heard something that did the job better than the coldest shower.

Obviously thinking they were alone, two of the female staff were talking. Or rather gossiping. He stopped out of their sight when he heard his name.

"_Did you __hear__ about the fight between those two new agents, Sheppard and Lorne?_"

The snap-pop of a soda can being opened preceded the response. "_Yeah! That was somethin' else wasn't it? They beat the __snot__ out of each other._"

"_Know what else I heard? Lorne holds Sheppard responsible for killing his __wife__._"

"_No!_"

"_Yeah! Her name was Lisa or Leela or Lena. Something like that. And she was pregnant with their baby at the time. Though how Lorne could let her deploy to Afghanistan if she was expectin' a __baby__ I've no idea._"

"_Unless he didn't know. I wonder if he needs a sympathetic shoulder to cry on._" The tone of the woman's voice indicated that she'd be happy to provide said shoulder, and a lot more, if given the chance.

But John didn't hang around to hear any more. The contents of the conversation had sent his rampaging libido into hiding where it now lay whimpering in a dark corner afraid to come out again.

_I don't blame Lorne for hating me__. His wife and child are dead and it's __my__ fault!_

Not bothering to change into his workout clothes, he went to the gym and began running on the treadmill. He ran and ran and ran until he was so exhausted he could barely walk. Instead of stopping at the nurse's desk for scrubs, he went straight to the bed he'd been sleeping in, kicked off his shoes and fell instantly asleep.

**The Next Day**

Evan ran into Jennifer in the Commissary at breakfast. They shared a table as they talked about anything and everything _except_ Sheppard. And that was fine with him.

Mostly, she regaled him with stories, good and bad, about events in Pegasus. He was laughing one minute and sad the next, especially after the story of the crystal entity that had killed the staff psychologist and three soldiers and had nearly killed McKay before it was stopped.

He told her about his tour in Afghanistan, though he didn't mention Lee or the reason for the tension between Sheppard and himself, seguing into how he'd been chosen as a member of the mounted patrol in Golden Gate Park. She giggled when he told her he'd only been an Inspector for one day before joining Area 52.

It was during this time of sharing he realized that, though he found Jennifer quite attractive and even had a bit of a crush on her, they weren't meant to be more than friends, and he could live with that. And he'd support any decision she made regarding Sheppard as long as the other man didn't break her heart. Then all bets were off.

A lull fell between them as he sipped his second cup of coffee and she ate the last bite of her scrambled egg whites and whole wheat toast with strawberry preserves.

Pushing his fork around on the table, he waited for her to finish before moving the conversation forward with a new subject. Jennifer wiped her mouth, wadded the napkin in a ball and placed it in her plate.

"Jen, why does Sheppard call you Angel?"

Looking away from him, she twisted her water glass back and forth. "I, uh, have no idea." She cleared her throat nervously. "Wh-why do you ask?"

"Well, every time he calls you Angel…" her cheeks turned pink, "…you blush."

"Oh, i-i-it's just a, uh, private, you know, joke."

She tried to laugh it off but it came out strained making him feel like a heel for asking. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business what goes on between the two of you."

"There's _nothing_ going on between us. Can we talk about something else?" Now she was shredding an unused napkin into tiny pieces. She realized what she was doing and forced herself to stop. "I heard you have nephews. Tell me about them."

Evan glanced at the clock on the wall. "No time. I have a session with Doc Adams in about ninety seconds. See ya!" He tossed his trash in the can by the door and jogged down the hall out of sight skidding to a stop in front of Tish's door just in time for the door to be opened from the inside.

"Special Agent Lorne. Please come in." Tish stood aside so he could enter and closed them both inside.

~~O~~

John finally dragged himself out of bed just before one in the afternoon. He'd fallen asleep in his dirty, sweaty clothes. At some point during the night someone had covered him with a blanket. Though he'd hoped it was Angel he knew it could only have been Dora playing the mother hen again.

Though it was more than likely, Angel was gone from his room but still he knocked before swiping his card and entering. He'd left one of the T-shirts she'd already worn on the bed and found it on the bathroom counter. Instead of placing it in the drawer with the others, he left it lay.

Shaking his head to dispel the memories, he stripped off his clothes, got into his workout gear and went to the gym to run again. Running cleared his head, helped him to focus on what was important. Helped him see solutions to dilemmas or problems that seemed insurmountable.

Sometime during last night's run, he'd come to the conclusion that, no matter how long or how far he ran, the only thing he'd never be able to outrun was himself. And that thought had kept him running long after he was tired. It had worked too. He was so tired he'd fallen asleep and for once didn't have the dream.

About twenty minutes later, Lorne came in, did his warm up and went to lift weights. John ignored him as best he could, but just knowing he was there gave him the urge to apologize for what he'd done. He felt the beginning of a cramp in in his left calf and stopped the treadmill before it became a full blown Charlie horse, walking around the room to cool down. His towel and water were on the bench near Lorne. He retrieved them, drank half the bottle then wiped his face with the towel. Facing away from his partner, John finally spoke. "Lorne?"

"Yeah?"

John didn't know how to proceed with what he needed to say. "I, uh…" But he couldn't do it. "I've got an appointment so I'm gonna get a shower."

~~O~~

_And how does that concern me?_ Evan thought as he watched Sheppard striding down the hall, his head down and eyes averted from anyone he saw coming his way. _What the hell was __that__ all about?_

With a shrug, Evan moved over to the treadmill and began running.

~~O~~

After showering, changing and checking out the Dodge Ram four-door, John drove around and somehow ended up at the place where the Wraith disguised as a human had met a dishonorable end.

Not one thing remained to tell the casual observer what had happened in this place though John saw it all as if it were happening now. The area of his chest just below his collarbone ached reminding him that he'd taken a hit there. There was just the smallest bit of rough skin left as a physical reminder.

He reached down at his feet, wrapping his fingers around a large rock, cocked his arm, his years playing football in high school and college coming back to him as he threw a Hail Mary, losing sight of the rock in the sun.

In the distance he could see buzzards circling something that had died wondering what it would be like to have his bones picked clean then bleached white by the harsh Nevada sun. Hands shoved into his pockets, his right foot reached out and kicked a small tumbleweed. With a heavy sigh he got in the truck, headed back toward town and his old stomping grounds in the back room at Mikey's casino. He didn't have any cash on him, but Mikey knew he was good for it.

**TBC**

**A/N:** This came from dwparsnip: (Pursuant to page 53, Paragraph 2 [Subsection 7.2] of the Fanfic Writers Rulebook which states: a fan may request something if he or she has you on the Favorite Author list. I officially request Shepp kicks this guy's behind.)

**To dwparsnip:** Was Magee's behind kicked to your satisfaction? Stay tuned, _mon frère_. Major behind kicking yet to come, and not just for Magee.

~SL


	20. Only One Candle to Burn

**A/N:** This is where I thank ladygris for her assistance with Beta work and more than one very long IM session that lasted late into the night.

Many thanks to LoneRanger1 for help with the Spanish.

_Grazie_,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 20**

**Only One Candle to Burn**

Though it was still daylight, the front of the casino was lit up, the sign advertising a Johnny Cash cover band called, appropriately, The Men in Black. John tossed his keys to the valet, slipped into his jacket, adjusted his clothing and brushed at his hair. He didn't know why he bothered. Mickey didn't care as long as he ponied up his losses eventually, including interest of course.

John ignored the hundreds of one-armed bandits, roulette wheels, craps and blackjack tables, and made his way to the back of the room. He ran into someone, helped her pick up her winnings then stopped at the entrance of the night club to listen to the band. All four men were dressed as the group's namesake down to the pompadour hairstyle. At the moment they were doing a fair rendition of _Hurt._

Going to the nearly invisible private entrance, he rang the bell and waited for the bouncer, Joey Frigata, to admit him.

~~O~~

Michael "Mikey" Moretti sat at his desk watching the live feeds on the bank of television screens along one wall with only passing interest until something he saw made him sit up and take notice. Using the remote, he transferred the image to the giant plasma screen on a second wall. "Well, I'll be…look who decided to show his ugly mug."

On the screen, Sheppard was making his way through the main floor. He bumped into an older lady causing her to drop her bucket of quarters. Mikey's jaw dropped to his chest when Sheppard stopped to help the woman pick up her winnings, giving her a smile and saying something that made her smile back. She shook her head, gave his arm a squeeze and went on her way. He'd never seen the man do that before. Usually he just bumped and ran.

Activating the radio, he spoke to Joey. "Sheppard's back. I'll be right down. Wait three minutes and let him in."

~~O~~

Joey opened the door and John stepped into the short hallway that led to the longer one where he'd chased the Wraith up to the roof. Through hidden speakers he could hear the band playing the tail end of _Hey Porter_ just as he reached the private room where he'd sat in on numerous poker games as one of the privileged.

In return for a high line of credit, he'd managed to keep other cops from looking into some of Mikey's less-than-respectable yet very lucrative business deals. He had no idea how he would take the fact that John could no longer continue that arrangement. Not if he wanted to keep his current job instead of going to jail for a really, really long time.

"_Come va,_ Sheppard_?_" Mikey didn't offer his hand.

"_Bene grazie_, Mikey."

"Where you been hidin'?"

John, still standing in the hall, shrugged one shoulder. "Around." He tried to peer into the room, but Joey blocked his view. "Was hoping I could get in on a few hands."

"I dunno. You go missin' for weeks and suddenly show up one day wantin' I should let you play just like that," Mikey snapped his fingers. "You should know that one o' your pals from the precinct was in here trying to take over your little side business."

"I don't _have_ any pals at Metro and going underground was not _my_ idea." John's eyes flicked from Mikey to Joey and back.

Mikey made a side to side motion with his head as he thought it over then nodded to Joey. The big Italian stepped out of the way and John could see that the room was filled with smoke and the usual suspects. The smell of liquor, the shuffling of the cards and the chink of chips pulled at him drawing him a step closer. "Come on in. Your balance is now zero so your credit's exceptional."

"What? I mean great. I…" Just as he was about to take Mikey up on his invitation he tuned in to the band playing _Solitary Man_.

_Don't know that I will but until I can find me, _

_The girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me_

_I'll be what I am, a solitary man…_

He realized that he no longer _was_ a solitary man. It made him think of the people who were becoming his friends and support system: McKay, Woolsey, Lorne, Dora, Ana, Slater, Dr. Adams. But at the top of that list was Angel and how disappointed _she'd_ be if she knew he was here. Just seeing her face in his mind made him feel thoughtless and foolish for risking everything he'd gained since his encounter with the Wraith. He doubted he'd be able to withstand the full force of her distress live. "Thanks, Mikey, but I've changed my mind. Think I'll pass." 

If Mikey were surprised at John's turn down, he didn't show it, though he did grin. "You got a little bit of fluff waitin' at home, don't ya?"

Grasping at the straw handed him, John shrugged. "What can I say?"

"Never woulda thought you of all people would go soft over a woman." The casino owner chuckled. "_La vita è come un albero di natale, c'è sempre qualcuno che rompe le palle._"

Shrugging and giving him a sheepish grin, he responded, "_Quel che non ammazza, ingrassa._"

~~O~~

Out on the main floor, John slipped into a chair just inside the night club entrance. He ordered iced tea and sat back to listen to the band. The server refused his payment telling him that Mikey had ordered that anything John wanted was on the house. _That'll stop as soon as I tell him our arrangement is over._

Just before the break, the band played _Ring of Fire._ He thought it very prophetic because getting involved with Angel as anything but a friend would be like stepping into a ring of fire. _Do I want to risk getting burned? Yeah, I think I do._

His smile changed to deep thought as Mikey's words came back to him. _Your balance is now zero so your credit's exceptional._

_Woolsey paid Mikey off!_ That led him to remember one of the "deal-breakers" in his contract. _I wonder what he __really__ wants._

By the time the song ended and the band had left the stage, he hadn't come to a conclusion as to Woolsey's possible motives. Knocking back the rest of his tea, he took out his SmartPhone, accessed the Internet and did a search. He found what he wanted easily enough and tapped several keys in succession to send the information to the GPS in the truck. Taking the last couple of bills from his wallet, he tossed them on the table dialing his phone as he went. "Hey. It's Sheppard. Can we meet? I…we need to talk."

**Area 52**

**After Sunset**

Night fell and shifts ended leaving the building nearly deserted due to the upcoming holiday. There were parades and barbeques planned, friends and family getting together for fun, games and remembrances of those who'd given their lives in the defense of their country.

Though it wasn't known by most, it was also a day to remember those who'd perished in the defense of their _world_, of Earth, and many other planets.

Evan's father was in the first group, having died in a mortar attack on the base he was stationed at in Beirut. Evan had been out with friends when his mother and sister got the news from a somber-faced Army Colonel. When he'd returned home just after sunset, the house had been dark though the car was in the drive. His mother and younger sister were asleep on top of the covers on his parents' bed and dinner hadn't been made.

When Mom told him what had happened, he'd gone into a sort of shock. There were no tears, then or since, for his father. And in that shock, he'd taken control of his emotions with a firm hand. A control that would continue throughout his life, giving him a reputation for being cool and unruffled in all but the most extreme situations.

He'd gone to the kitchen, picked up the phone and ordered their usual from the Chinese place up the street. When it arrived, he'd called Courtney and Mom to the table where they'd eaten in silence.

A week later, they'd watched his father's coffin being lowered into the ground accompanied by the haunting strains of _Taps_. As befitted a war hero, a folded American flag had been presented to Army Colonel Richard Lorne's widow, Susan. On that day, Evan had made the decision to enlist in the military as soon as he as old enough to carry on the legacy of serving his country.

_On behalf of the President of the United States and the people of a grateful nation, may I present this flag as a token of appreciation for the honorable and faithful service your loved one rendered this nation._

The memories of his father's funeral morphed into the one for Lee, seeing again the Naval officer kneeling in front of her mother and father with the folded flag.

Movement in the corner of his eye turned his attention to the present. His partner had finally returned from his mysterious appointment that had taken all afternoon and part of the evening. He reserved opinion on where Sheppard might have gone until he had more information though he did have suspicions.

"Sheppard."

The taller man seated himself at Evan's table without invitation, opening his tub of Jell-O and taking a bite. "What's up?"

"Woolsey wants to see us ASAP."

Slurping another spoonful of Jell-O, Sheppard shrugged. "Any idea why?"

"No." Evan glanced at the clock and pushed away from the table. Sheppard did the same, tossing the remains of his snack in the trash on the way out.

Watching his partner, Evan noticed that he didn't seem as tense as he had earlier in the day. In fact, he was more relaxed then he'd ever seen him, almost but not quite content. Most people wouldn't notice the change. But to a trained observer like himself, or Doc Adams, the difference was perplexing. He pushed those thoughts away to knock on Woolsey's door.

~~O~~

After the briefing, John and Evan went to their rooms to pack. They'd been told to be at the largest of the bases hangars no later than 2115.

"So what d'you think? Private jet?" John asked as they crossed the tarmac in full dark, duffle bags slung over their shoulders. The only spots of light visible came from the runways and sides of the buildings.

"_Why_ would they have a private jet just to ferry us around the country when we're perfectly capable of flying commercial, driving or even getting a lift from one of the spaceships?" Lorne's tone was reasonable, not at all like the one he'd been using that had an underlying layer of contempt.

John didn't have an answer for that, choosing to remain silent for the rest of their walk.

When they arrived, the hangar was empty of all but one small plane that was obviously under repair. There they were met by a burly Marine Lieutenant. "This way, sirs."

John and Evan followed him through the hangar and out the other side. "Please get on board and stow your gear. Take-off is at 2230 on the nose."

After the Lieutenant had gone back inside, the partners just stared at their mode of transportation. Before them, the cargo hatch open while soldiers loaded supplies onto it, sat a Lockheed C-130 Hercules. Evan and John exchanged a sardonic glance as they carefully avoided the tons of supplies already on board and found seats near the cockpit.

Once in the air, it was too noisy to communicate verbally so Evan held up his SmartPhone and indicated John should activate the IM capability on his own. They used it to plan how to handle their first mission as partners.

**Palm Bay, NC**

**Midtown Motel**

Tossing his bag on the bed, John went to the window and looked out onto the pool area in back of the hotel he and Lorne had checked into. Letting the curtain drop back into place, he kicked off his shoes and lay down on the bed. Thumbing the speed dial, he waited for his party to pick up.

"It's Sheppard. We're here…Yeah, we went over the details of the assignment…We're gonna need a few things…If it'd been up to me, I'd've picked up the supplies using the company credit cards you gave us and dealt with the consequences when you got the bill. However, my partner insisted we call, as a courtesy…Just off the top of our heads, we need clothes, a car, first-class quarters, cash. Lots of cash. I'll send an email if we think of anything else…Got it." He hung up and dialed a local number from memory.

"_Como estas, mi__ q__uerida? Estoy bien. Que? Oh, North Carolina. Si, vacaciones.__"_ John waited while his friend expressed her surprise. He hadn't taken a vacation since they'd known each other. "Julietta, I need your car contact in Wilmington. Could you give him a call? _Gracias, querida_…No. I trust your judgment and you know what I like. Can it be delivered _mañana_? _Perfecta._ Room 302." He provided the name of the motel and the address. "One last thing, _por favor_. I'm looking for a weapons broker…No. These weapons are a bit…unusual…"

**North Side of Town**

**The Next Morning**

Three men sat around the kitchen table eating leftover pizza and drinking coffee. All were about the same age, but looked older. It was a testament to the lives they'd led since their teenage years and continuing to this day. Each had done at least one stretch in prison but had been lucky enough not to have to worry about the three-strike rule. At least not yet.

Boxes were stacked in the back room, filled with new weapons. It hadn't taken long to find more buyers than they knew what to do with. However, one stood out among the rest. Kenny "Parker" Talbot, the defacto leader of the group, had gotten word via a circuitous route that the two men were already in town. All that need be done now was make contact and seal the deal. Parker, Dak and Fischer had agreed that this would be their last job together. The amount of money to be made from the sale of the weapons would set all of them up for life on some sweet, unspoiled island with no extradition treaty with the US.

"What time?" Dak asked for the tenth time since rolling out of bed that morning. He was a thuggish, tattooed and worn-out version of Jaleel White without the charm or appeal. His brown eyes stared at his plate and seldom met those of the people around him whether friend or foe. The trait went unremarked upon due to his habit of always wearing dark glasses even at night. Not that he feared locking eyes with anyone. He just didn't want to.

Fischer snorted in exasperation, his words coming clipped and angry. "We already_ told_ you. We meet the buyers at the cabin this evening and tomorrow we're on a plane out of the country."

"I was just _askin'_. Stop bein' such an f***ing whiner. You act like I'm stupid or somethin'."

"Then _stop_ askin' stupid questions you've asked a hundred times."

"Would the two of you just _chill_?" Parker snapped at his cohorts. "You sound like an old married couple." He pushed away from the table. "I'm getting in the shower. When I get out, I suggest the two of you do the same. Shave, dress up a little, and see to it you conduct yourselves like civilized human beings for a change."

Dak and Fischer stared at Parker as if he'd gone insane, Dak asking, "What's that mean?"

Rolling his eyes, their leader, the only one of them with a college education, elaborated. "A little less talk and a lot more shut the f*** up.

"These guys come with impeccable references from unimpeachable sources. They have the means to make us rich beyond our wildest dreams or take us out without compunction." Knowing they would obey, Parker headed down the hall to the master bedroom where he took out the clothes he would wear for the meeting and laid them on the bed. Reaching into the bottom of the closet, he took out a shoe box and removed a pair of black Tony Lamas, checked them for scuff marks and set them at the end of the bed.

He wanted to get to the meeting place in plenty of time to check it out before the buyers arrived. Stripping down, he went into the bathroom.

**Palm Bay Resort and Spa**

It was a car that was noticed everywhere it went, just as the driver and passenger wanted. The rumble of the side dual exhausts caught the attention of every person, employee, guest or visitor, standing in front of the Palm Bay Resort. Screeching to a stop, the men didn't wait for the doors to be opened by the awed bell staff.

Both men acted as if they expected the best of everything, clothing, cars, food, lodging, whatever, and were prepared to pay for it.

John and Evan got out of the black 1967 Chevy Stingray convertible, John handed the keys to the bell captain and entered the lobby just behind his partner. Evan was already at the desk checking them in. John joined him just as he handed his black American Express Centurion Card to the desk clerk. They were assigned suites on the highest floor possible facing the Atlantic Ocean and escorted up.

~~O~~

John knocked on Lorne's door and was admitted. Both suites had similar floor plans but with different color schemes.

Gesturing at the plush surroundings, Evan sat in the armchair while John took over the sofa, "Why the fancy rooms? It's not like we're inviting them to spend the night."

"That's what being undercover is all about, the show, playing a part. If they have us followed and see us staying in a cheap motel it blows our cover. We're supposed to have more than enough cash on hand to buy their entire stock of these what did you call them?"

"Zat'ni'katel. They're usually referred to as zats and there're two types." Evan took a pad and pencil from the end table, making a quick sketch of the before and after of the original version. While John looked at the drawings, Evan sketched the palm-sized zats he, Anthony and Weir had used during the peace conference. "This one fits in the palm of your hand. It's easier to conceal but not as powerful though it still does damage."

John wrinkled his nose at both drawings. "The first one looks like a snake and the other looks like the _head_ of a snake. I hate snakes almost as much as I hate _clowns_."

Evan drew his eyebrows together. "What have you got against…never mind." He got up and went to the small wet bar in the corner, returning with a bottle of beer for each of them. "One shot stuns, a second kills, the third disintegrates."

Still staring at the well-done renderings of the zats, John thought about what he'd overheard about First Lieutenant Lee Womack and her relationship to Lorne. Again, a wave of guilt made him want to apologize but he clamped down on it. Now was not the time for sentimentality.

They went over everything again, even working out signals for when things weren't going according to plan, preparing for every possible contingency.

John left, headed downstairs and off on a personal mission of his own. Evan decided a nap would be just the thing so he went to the lavishly appointed bedroom, kicked off his shoes and lay down with a groan. He'd never been undercover before, not counting the peace conference, and the stress, which he knew was only just beginning, was already wearing on him. Sleep came quickly.

~~O~~

As he crossed the lobby to the elevators, John saw his partner sitting on the sofa facing the window that looked out onto the beach. Going to his side, he waited to be acknowledged. "Lorne?"

Lorne shook his head as if coming out of a trance. "Yeah?" He looked around, confused, as if he had no idea how he got there. He took a deep breath. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I'm gonna go get ready for the meeting."

Pushing off the sofa, Lorne followed him.

~~O~~

John parked in front of the beachfront cabin, shut the engine off and pulled his Glock from the shoulder holster knowing without looking that Lorne was doing the same. He ejected the magazine, checked it was full and reinserted it. He returned it to its hiding place, got out and waited for Lorne to join him. The show was officially _on_.

The door of cabin seven opened within seconds of their knock and they were ushered in by an African-American man wearing dark glasses, a tattoo of a skull and crossbones showing below the edge of his short sleeved cotton club shirt. His cotton slacks were neatly pressed and his shoes shined.

Before either man could even remove their sunglasses, the man stepped in front of them. "Gotta search ya."

John grinned, unbuttoning his jacket to show the grip of his weapon strapped securely in its holster. Dak still gave him a quick pat down then did the same to Lorne with the same result. Nodding, he indicated they should enter.

Totally at ease, John made himself comfortable on the sofa while Dak knocked on the bedroom door then opened it just a crack. "One piece each. Glocks."

Snorting, John kicked back, one arm flung over the back of the sofa, one ankle resting on the knee of his other leg. "Yeah. More than one would be showing off." His genial attitude changed abruptly when a voice from the past spoke to him just as he heard a .44 Magnum round being chambered.

"Never expected to see _you_ again."

Still with a show of casualness he no longer felt, John looked above the Magnum to a face he hadn't seen in years. He got to his feet and the men gave each other a quick once-over before the gun was put away. "Likewise, Kenny."

Wariness came from both men as John resumed his seat and Kenny took the armchair. "Fischer." Kenny pointed at the blonde man standing behind his chair. He shifted in response but didn't speak. "Dak." The other man was leaning against the front door though it seemed more like he was guarding it. "John Sheppard."

Without changing expression, John nodded at his partner. "Lorne."

"Boys, John here…" he paused, deliberately letting the tension build, "…is a _cop_."

Several things happened in quick succession. Dak and Fischer suddenly had weapons in their hands and Lorne had stiffened in place near the television, his right hand twitching slightly toward his own weapon. John and Kenny, however, never moved, their eyes still watching each other.

"Not anymore." In his head, John snickered because it was the truth.

"Since when?" Kenny demanded, waving his hand in what was obviously a signal. His cohorts again tucked their weapons out of sight.

"A while ago." While vague, it too was the truth.

John's old acquaintance sucked on the inside of his cheek. "What happened?"

Both shoulders lifted in a shrug as John rubbed his nose. "Didn't work out."

"Those are some fancy wheels you rolled up in. What _did_ work out?"

"This." Before anyone could move, John's Glock was in his hand. A blast filled the room, a thump, and Lorne lay on the off white carpeting bleeding from a gaping wound in his chest. He groaned, his breathing becoming labored, a combined look of surprise and shock on his normally stoic features. A trickle of blood oozed out the side of his mouth.

Now Kenny, Dak and Fischer had weapons out pointed at John. For his part, John ignored them, flicked the safety on and calmly returned his weapon to its place of concealment. "_He_ was the cop. You're welcome, by the way."

Now Kenny was angry though he did put his weapon away followed by the others. "Why'd you have to shoot him _here?_"

John didn't answer, just got off the sofa and went to the environmental controls turning the temperature down as far as it would go. "Leave the air on, lock the doors, put the Do Not Disturb sign out, and pay up for a week. By the time they find the body, we'll be out of the country." The three men stared at him. "Despite what it looks like, I am _not_ the head man in this operation and it wasn't my idea to be partnered with him. He was always watching me, reporting back to the boss. I can't stand a snitch. A cop who snitches is even worse."

Moving over to Lorne, he crouched next to him, the man's eyes pleading, his mouth trying to form words. Careful to avoid the spreading blood pool, he pressed two fingers under Lorne's jaw. Reaching inside his jacket, he took the Glock the man on the floor never had a chance to use even once. "Not dead yet but will be soon." He stood, shoving the second weapon into his waistband. "Get your crap and let's split. We'll go to my hotel for now. You can stay in his room."

Without looking back and with no remorse on his handsome face, John left the cabin, slipped his aviators back on and took a deep breath of the tangy salt air. When the others joined him, he got behind the wheel of the 'Ray, gunned the engine once, shifted into first and headed into the setting sun.

Inside the cabin, Evan Lorne pulled in one last breath, shuddered and was still.

**TBC**

**A/N:** Before you ask, here are the Italian phrases:

_La vita è come un albero di natale, c'è sempre qualcuno che rompe le palle._

Literal translation: "Life is like a Christmas tree, there's always someone who breaks the balls."

_Quel che non ammazza, ingrassa._

Literal translation: "What won't kill you, will feed you."

Idiomatic translation: "That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."


	21. Chimera

**A/N:** As always, mucho thanks to ladygris for her help with this chapter. It's greatly appreciated as is her friendship.

I know this is a little early as I usually post on Tuesday and Saturday, but I wanted to get it out now so I can take the next couple of days to myself. Hope you don't mind.

Namaste,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 21**

**Chimera**

John smacked the steering wheel. _Dammit!_ Killing Lorne hadn't been part of the plan. At least not yet. The _plan_ had been to trick one of Kenny's guys into doing it. Not _this_. But there was nothing left to do now except go forward.

He'd arranged to meet the others at the hotel, each of them taking a different route from the cabin just in case. Crossing a bridge, he stopped in the middle just before the drawbridge and got out. Standing there watching the water, he contemplated many scenarios and finally found one he could live with. Pulling his weapon out, he ejected the magazine and dropped both into the water. The height of the bridge made the sound of the objects hitting the water sound small, as if they were just rocks, not evidence in a homicide. Pulling Lorne's weapon from his waistband, he shoved it into the holster and snapped the safety strap over it.

Back behind the wheel, his stomach growled reminding him it was long past dinner time. His appetite was gone though he would eat just to keep up his front as a cold-blooded killer willing to do anything for money and to protect himself. He took out his phone, his thumb poised over a specific speed dial key, organizing his thoughts.

"It's Sheppard. I'm gonna need your help. Things didn't go as planned…Lorne's dead…Yes, I _know_, but it couldn't be helped." He held the phone away from his ear as the other party yelled. "His body won't be found for a while so don't expect to hear about it on the news any time soon. But now they know I'm not the top dog. I expect they'll wanna meet the person in charge before the deal will go through…Let's get into recriminations _later_…I'll keep you in the loop." Hitting the end key with a jab of his thumb, he tossed the device in the passenger seat, trying not to think about how it had all gone wrong…again and it was _his_ fault…again.

**Washington, D.C.**

**The Home of Lt. Col. Paul Davis**

The back yard was well-kept though not interestingly laid out. Flowers bloomed in the corners, along the back of the house and around a large shade tree in the exact middle. Underneath the tree sat an old fashioned swing just big enough for three adults. Tonight, it was occupied by two, the swing moving lazily back and forth.

Paul had his arm around Melissa, her head on his shoulder as they watched the stars come out. They'd been sitting just like this since after dinner, over an hour, without speaking, just being quiet together. He'd cooked for her, something no other man had ever done, unless you counted picking up Chinese take-away and going to his place, which she didn't.

"Paul?"

"Hmm?" His hand slid down her bare arm below the sleeve of her top and back up again.

"You won't freak out if I tell you something, will you?" She felt a small chuckle where they touched.

"I work for the SGC. Not much freaks me out."

"Good." She shifted in her seat. "That day on the plane, I'd seen you before we boarded and hoped we'd sit close enough to at least be able to talk. It was just my good fortune that we ended up sitting next to each other." Her hand came down to rest on his thigh. He stayed silent so long she thought he wasn't going to respond.

"Promise _you_ won't…freak out?"

"No." She let her tone tell him she was joking.

"Luck had _nothing_ to do with it. I used my high level government ID to get the person sitting next to you to trade seats with me."

"Paul!"

"I had to do _something_. You were the most beautiful woman I'd seen in a long time and I just had to meet you. I thought if it seemed like an accident, you wouldn't Red Light me before I could work my considerable charm on you."

Melissa turned within the circle of his arm, one hand on his chest. "Very smooth, Colonel Davis. You understand that your confession means you're getting lucky tonight, right?"

Taking her hand from his chest, he kissed her fingers. "That wasn't my intention, but if you insist…"

"I do." She reached up to give him a sweet kiss then snuggled closer, her head back on his shoulder. "But later. Let's just sit here a while longer."

**Palm Bay, NC**

**Seaside**** Bar and Grill**

"…and then John here says, 'Kenny, you _idiot_! _How_ could you steal the _dean's_ car?' and I shrug and say, 'He left the keys in the ignition.' It was like the man was saying 'Here, Kenny. Take it for a spin.' So I did."

Dak, Fischer and Kenny laughed as if it were the funniest thing ever. John had tried to get into the spirit of the old days, had even managed a chuckle or two. The truth was he felt anything but camaraderie for his former friend. In his mind it was Kenny who'd been on the floor bleeding out earlier, not Lorne.

He and Kenny had known each other since they were kids. Their parents were good friends, running in the same circles as all the other disgustingly wealthy families in Huntington Beach. However, wealth didn't keep kids like Kenny from making bad choices. At any other time in his life, John might have laughed with him, but not today. The story brought all the memories of that day back with a clarity that startled him.

He'd been home for Spring Break from Stanford and had just had a big fight with his dad over his grades. Sure, they weren't the best, passing-barely, but that wasn't good enough. Not for the son of Patrick Sheppard, owner, president and CEO of Sheppard Industries. Dad had been grooming him to take over the family business never once asking his eldest son what _he_ wanted. And John had gone along with it, for a while, except for the fact that his dad had wanted him to go to Harvard instead of Stanford.

He saw his younger self taking the keys away from Kenny, climb into the driver's seat and head back toward the private school they'd both attended while in high school. He hadn't gone more than a mile when the police pulled him over. They'd searched the car and found nothing incriminating except the fact that John had been driving a vehicle that didn't belong to him.

It didn't matter that he was headed back toward the school to return it to its rightful owner. All anyone had cared about was that John didn't have permission to be behind the wheel and only _his_ fingerprints had been on the car. That's when he realized that Kenny had been wearing gloves while driving the Chevy Corvette. It wasn't until much later that he'd found out that his "friend" had gotten involved in a car theft ring and the dean's Corvette was a hot commodity on the black market.

His father had refused to send a lawyer or allow anyone to bail him out. Joe, the gardener, and his wife, Inez, had come to see him and he'd been glad to see his friends, but absolutely refused to let them jeopardize their positions on the staff by going again his father's wishes. So in jail he'd stayed until his court date.

Beside him had been a bored public defender who didn't believe him when he said he was innocent, just like his father and Dave. The man had wanted him to plead guilty and throw himself on the mercy of the court. Instead, he'd convinced the guy to ask the judge to commute his sentence to time served if he agreed to join the military in lieu of prison time. He'd never been so relieved when his plea bargain had been accepted.

And that's when his life went completely to hell. Not that it hadn't been headed that way until now. This just completed the trip.

~~O~~

After dinner, just as John had predicted, Kenny insisted on meeting John's "boss", the head man in the organization. They would meet downstairs just before sunset giving John plenty of time to make all the arrangements.

Kenny, Dak and Fischer went into their room, Lorne's room, and spent the next couple of hours ordering room service and getting drunk. They also bought clothes and the company of three semi-attractive young ladies they'd met at the bar before moving the party to the room.

Rolling his eyes at the noise from next door, John was glad he'd had all of Lorne's stuff packed and moved. Going downstairs, he grabbed a beer at the Seaside Bar and wondered out onto the beach as far from everyone else as possible. More than one scantily dressed female had tried to get his attention. And though he had been tempted, he'd politely brushed them all off. He'd even started talking to one but when her face transformed into Angel's, he'd sent her on her way saying he had a conference call he had to get to. Which was _not_ a lie.

John hooked the Bluetooth over his left ear and dialed. "It's Sheppard…" he rolled his eyes though the person on the other end couldn't see. "We've been _over_ that…_Yes_, you'll get the details in my official report…They still want to meet you…Yeah…Well, here's what I was thinking…"

**Colorado Springs, CO**

**The Carter-McKay Home**

The only illumination in the nursery came from a pair of lamps in the shapes of spaceships, one on each of the matching changing dressers, gifts from their Godfathers. Livie was in her crib sleeping off her last bottle and diaper change. Danny, on the other hand, fussed and fidgeted while Rodney took off his soiled T-shirt. When he removed the diaper, he started making that funny sound that meant he was gearing up for a major screaming fit if he didn't get his way.

Rodney had been doing his best to take care of the twins without waking Sam. She'd been so exhausted when he'd returned from an emergency trip to Atlantis that he'd insisted she take leave. After some considerable arguing back and forth, she'd finally agreed. Their home wasn't far from the base and they could get there in just a few minutes if an emergency came up. Less if one of the ships was in orbit.

His left hand on Danny's stomach to keep him in place while he kicked his legs and cried Rodney searched for the baby powder, finally locating it too far away to reach without letting go of his son. "Crap," he muttered under his breath. Glancing over his shoulder at the door he decided it was worth the risk.

Staring at the container, he concentrated. It lifted jerkily into the air and floated toward him. His grin of triumph was wiped away and the container fell spilling talc all over floor when he heard his wife's voice say accusingly, "Rodney!" Sam picked up the container and shook it at her husband. "You promised!"

"Sorry. But I couldn't reach it and didn't want him to wake you."

Sam took in Rodney's repentant expression and relented. She finished the diapering, picked up Danny and carried him around the room humming softly to him. He was asleep within a couple of minutes. "I know. Just be careful _how_ and _when_ you use it. _Especially _when the kids get older."

He moved quietly around the room cleaning up the mess and disposing of the diapers. "Have _they_ done anything?" Rodney didn't have to say who _they_were. When he used that tone, it was always about the kids.

She shrugged. "Not since before they were born. At least, not that I've seen. We'll just have to deal with the telekinesis _if_ or _when_the time comes."

Rodney stood over his daughter's crib, carefully drawing one fingertip down her smooth cheek. Sam came to stand next to him, Danny now asleep in her arms. "Our little miracles."

**Palm Bay Executive Airport**

The four men watched the Lear taxi down the runway and come to a stop. The door opened and a uniformed man in his thirties stepped out. The name tag over his right breast pocket said "B. Miller." Nodding, he said, "He wants to see you." The man stood at the bottom of the steps, hands clasped in front of him staring straight ahead.

John went inside and a few minutes later he emerged, followed by a distinguished man in his late fifties. "Kenny, Dak, Fischer. This is…Woolsey."

Kenny laughed and the other two snickered. "Is that a first or last name?"

Woolsey, in an expensive suit and subtle burgundy striped tie, didn't change his severe expression. Just flicked his eyes to the side. "Just Woolsey." He didn't offer to shake hands, his right one in his pants pocket.

With a shake of his head, John indicated Kenny should shut up and for once he did.

"Sheppard has carte blanche to negotiate for the…merchandise. I'd advise you not to take advantage of my generosity. But if all goes well, perhaps we can do business again one day."

The three weapons brokers kept their eyes on Woolsey, not once looking at John. "Of course."

After a significant look at John, Woolsey returned to the Lear, the steps retracted and the door closed. It taxied to the runway and took off. Time on the ground: less than fifteen minutes.

~~O~~

The four men had dinner together spending the time discussing the terms of their business proposition. It hadn't been easy, but eventually they arrived at a deal that worked to everyone's satisfaction. John excused himself, leaving the others to close down the bar.

"Oh, man! This is such a sweet deal. We are gonna be set for _life_!" Fischer knocked back another glass of imported beer, something he only indulged in when there was cause for celebration. And tonight was definitely one of those nights.

"Don't get too full of yourself just yet." Kenny leaned closer, lowering his voice. "I received a call from Woolsey. Seems he's figured out _Sheppard's _the one that killed Lorne and wants us to remedy the situation."

Dak snorted derisively. "Why would he do that? Lorne was…"

"…his _son_." Kenny waited for the shock to begin to wear off before speaking again. "Yeah. He's a cold sonofa****. Wants revenge _real_ bad and willing to pay top dollar. We do this right and we're in on the biggest thing since cell phones and laptops. What do you say?"

Fischer and Dak didn't even consult each other. "We're in."

Nodding, Kenny lifted his glass of 10 Year Old Laphroaig Scotch and took a sip. He may have been the scum of the earth, but he still remembered what it had been like to steal the good stuff from his dad's liquor cabinet. _Gotta get me a better class of friends when this is over._ He snickered to himself when he thought of the look on Sheppard's face when he took him out. The man deserved to die slowly but being as he'd been such a good sport about taking the rap all those years ago, he'd make it quick…maybe.

~~O~~

Standing on the balcony, John looked out over the beach watching the palm tree branches sway lazily in the light breeze off the Atlantic. Though it was night, he could see people on the shore, singles, couples and groups. One hand came out of his pocket, snagging his phone from the railing. He dragged a finger over the screen until he came to the voice recordings. There was only one, he touched the play icon and listened to Kenny's voice saying once more that it had been him, not John who'd stolen the car. He shut it off with satisfaction then accessed the stored photos. Scrolling through, he finally located the one he wanted. It was a candid shot of Angel sitting in the Commissary with Lorne. Using his thumb and forefinger on the touch screen, he zoomed in until she was all he could see.

Her brown eyes sparkled with laughter and her skin glowed. _This_ was the Angel he wanted. More than that, he wanted _her_ to want _him_ in return. And though he'd made the decision to take the risk, he still wasn't certain _he_ was the best thing for her. She was sweet and kind with an air of innocence about her that made him want to protect her from all the bad things in the universe, even if one of those bad things was himself. He wasn't any of the things _she_ was. No one had ever accused him of being sweet _or_ kind and he hadn't been innocent in so long he hardly remembered being anything but what he was now. Or rather what he'd been before something called a Wraith had shown up on his turf and began killing people.

Getting out of his clothes, he showered and lay down on the bed with just a towel around his waist. The cold water hadn't helped much so he threw the towel in the tub and pulled on a pair of boxers and a T-shirt. It wasn't until he was about to drift off that he realized he was wearing one of the shirts Angel had slept in and now her scent surrounded him. _Freudian slip? Oh, what the hell._ With a sigh of contentment, he fell asleep.

**Early Afternoon**

**The Warehouse District**

Not for the first time did John wish he had back-up. Woolsey had wanted to send a squad of Marines to follow at a discrete distance in case he got into trouble, but John insisted he'd be able to handle Kenny. Once he did that, the others were sure to fall in with the party line. Now he'd changed his mind and it was too late.

He followed the mint condition Dodge Daytona custom painted with Color-Shift Crystal Pearl in green, gold and burgundy down streets filled with cars parked along both sides. Dumpsters and loading docks were all that showed with the offices deep inside where you had to get past a bunch of burly dockworkers and crazed forklift drivers to reach them. That is until they reached the end of the dead end street.

The building looked like it hadn't been used in a couple of years, all but one of the doors and retractable gates heavily padlocked. And that's when he became nervous, his ears picking up every little sound wondering if he was about to be jumped by a band of thugs who'd kill him for the price of a Happy Meal.

"Sheppard? Come on." Kenny stood near a stack of crates that looked just like any other stack of crates with a few smaller boxes scattered here and there. He tossed a crow bar to Fischer and another to Dak. "Open that one."

The men got to work, the sound of nails giving way from the wood echoing in the enormous room. Digging down into the packing material, Kenny brought out an S-shaped device. John had never seen one in person and more than ever they looked like snakes. He suppressed a shudder as the device was passed to him. Recalling the video on how to activate it, he said, "Once stuns, twice kills, three times disintegrates."

"Yeah." Now Kenny was getting suspicious. "How'd you know that?"

Thinking fast, John said, "We like to know what we're getting before we even consider meeting the sellers. For all you told us, we could have been buying kids toys. And that's _not_ what we're looking for."

Waving around at the room in general, Kenny snorted. "So try it out."

Shrugging, John looked for a target and located an old generator that had seen better days around the time John had graduated to the big boy potty. His finger found the trigger, the Zat practically jumping from his hand as it extended upward, whining through the power-up. Squeezing the trigger three times in rapid succession shot bolts of electricity at the generator. It sparked, the snap crackle making the hairs on John's neck stand up, then the generator was gone.

Trying not to show that he was overly impressed, the undercover agent brought his hand down to his side, starting to turn. "We'll take…" His words locked in his throat when a single arc of electricity hit him in the chest. His last thought before his consciousness winked out was, "Oh, _crap!_"

~~O~~

John came to slowly to find himself sitting on the cold, hard floor, his hands tied to a large pipe that ran along the length of the wall just above him. The enormous gauge covered in dust had a large red area meaning this thing had gotten very hot at one time. Hopefully it never would again. _At least not while __I'm__ here._ Shaking his head cleared away the rest of the cobwebs that had infested his brain while he'd been out.

Standing in front of him, grinning, Kenny, backed-up by his cohorts, held one of the Zats as if he'd been doing it all his life. "Welcome back, Sheppard."

"Wish I could say it was nice to be here, but I wouldn't wanna lie." In spite of the circumstances, John grinned sardonically. "How about you turn me loose so we can get back to our little business transaction?"

"About that…" Kenny came over to crouch next to John, "…I think it's time to cut out the middle man-that's you, by the way-and do business directly with the head honcho. See, what you don't know is me and Woolsey have been talking since that little meet and greet yesterday. We made a little agreement. He knows you killed his son and asked me to handle your…disposal. In return, I move into your place and up a couple of tax brackets. Well, I would _if_ I was paying taxes." He seemed to think that was hilarious until the sound of a door slamming startled all of them. "Go check it out. And stay together."

The other men nodded, pulled ordinary Magnums from the back of their waistbands and disappeared into the dull light filtering in through the windows near the ceiling three stories above, the only ones not boarded up.

"Where were we? Oh, yeah. I was about to thank you for taking the rap for me all those years ago. If you hadn't, I'd have been on my third strike by now and contemplating life in prison."

With a smile that held no real humor, John remarked, "Glad I could help. Though joining the military in lieu of prison wasn't exactly the fun 'n games I thought it'd be."

"Heard about that. Your dad's army of lawyers tried to keep it quiet, but word gets around. And here I thought _I_ was a bad guy for killing _eleven_ people for one reason or another. You did me one better."

_It was an accident!_ _I was trying to __save__ them! _John screamed in his head. _How can you __joke__ about ending people's lives as if it were nothing? They had families, friends, people who cared about them._ Instead of saying those things, he settled for, "I've always been an over-achiever." That was apparently the wrong thing to say because Kenny's eyes darkened with anger.

"Well, Mr. Over-Achiever, I bet you didn't know it was _me_ that called the cops on you after you drove off in the dean's cherry Corvette. It was either that or take a beating from the man who hired me to steal it. I'd already messed up once. With him there _were_ no third chances." Kenny got to his feet, walking backward until he could easily see John's eyes.

"You've already been hit with this once. One more and you're a dead man. Then me and the boys are taking our merchandise and heading to the airstrip to wait for Woolsey. _He's_ the one that wanted you dead. Me? I'd have settled for you going to jail, being paralyzed or living as a vegetable for the rest of your life." He aimed at John's head, his hand not wavering. "Say hello to your dad for me. Oh, I forgot. You and he aren't gonna end up in the same place. Pity."

"'Fraid I can't let you do that."

Though the voice was unfamiliar to Kenny, his aim stayed rock steady as he tossed a quick glance over his shoulder, eyes widening as if he'd seen a ghost. "But you're…"

"That's what we _wanted_ you to think." The figure came closer passing into a small pool of light and stopping, a Zat in one hand pointed at Kenny. "You okay, Sheppard?"

John shrugged as if they were friends meeting on the street. "A little hungry. Didn't have lunch yet."

"How about that little place up the street from the hotel?"

"The one with the pirate theme?"

"Yeah." The man grinned.

"I'm there. You're buyin', right?"

The newcomer took another step forward, stopping when Kenny tensed again. "Put the Zat down, Kenny, untie Sheppard and this thing'll end without bloodshed."

Kenny finally found his voice again. "Who the hell _are_ you?"

Fishing in the breast pocket of his jacket, the man pulled out a leather ID cover and flipped it open. "Special Agent Evan Lorne. And that's my _partner_ you're about to shoot."

**TBC**

A/N: CHIMERA

1: _a_ (capitalized) **:** a fire-breathing she-monster in Greek mythology having a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail _b_ **:** an imaginary monster compounded of incongruous parts

2**:** an illusion or fabrication of the mind; _especially_ **:** an unrealizable dream a fancy, a _chimera_ in my brain, troubles me in my prayer — John Donne

3**:** an individual, organ, or part consisting of tissues of diverse genetic constitution


	22. Variations on a Theme

**A/N:** Many thanks to ladygris again for her help. I got stuck in a few places and she helped me figure them out. That's why this is such an awesome, angst-filled chapter.

Also, I haven't been feeling well the last few days so don't be surprised if I miss posting a couple of days. I'll try to make up for it when I feel better.

Thanks,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 22**

**Variations on a Theme**

Suddenly it was all too much for Kenny. He wasn't a stupid man. He'd just made a multitude of bad choices in his life. Choices that had brought him to this place and time, but none of that mattered. A man he'd seen die was alive. And that meant that everything from the moment he'd picked up the weapons and offered them for sale had been a sham, a fake, a deception. His new position was gone along with his increase in pay. His face reddened with rage and his right arm that had sagged until the weapon was aimed at the floor came up pointed at John.

But before Kenny could press the trigger, Evan shot him. Not once. Not twice. But three times. He watched Kenny's body vaporize into nothing with that calm, stoic expression, only his eyes showing what he was feeling just like when he hit Magee. John was beginning to understand that his partner hid his emotions, holding them in reserve to be taken out and examined at a later time. At this exact moment, John envied his partner's ability to compartmentalize and hoped some of it would rub off, but he'd never tell him. And yes, he had a great poker face, but it was unlikely he'd ever be in a position to need it again.

Gasps came from behind Evan. He spun around, Zat at the ready, prepared to defend both of them, if need be. But it wasn't necessary. Dak and Fischer were held in place by two things: Shock at seeing the weapon being used in that way on a human for the first time and by the squads of soldiers now swarming over the area, taking the men into custody and arranging for the stolen Zats to be returned to a more secure storage facility in Colorado better known as the SGC.

Evan deactivated his weapon and handed it to the Marine Captain in charge, moving over to crouch next to John. "I'd say this was a successful mission. The bad guy was the only one who got hurt and we got back all the stolen goods."

With a sardonic grin, John indicated his hands still tied around the pipe. "Still one loose end left to wind up."

"Oh?"

"Untie me…_please_."

Returning the grin, Evan did as requested then helped John to his feet. After a moment, Evan said, "You know, a thank you would be nice, Sheppard."

They turned for the exit, John rubbing his sore wrists. "For what?"

"Saving your life."

Shrugging, his partner pushed a hand through his hair. "I knew I wasn't gonna die."

"How'd you figure that?"

"Because only the good die young, Lorne. And I haven't been good in a _very_ long time."

Evan thought about that for a moment but didn't confirm or deny his thoughts on the subject. "So what does that say about me?"

John paused for dramatic effect. "Start making funeral arrangements."

The shorter man chuckled. "You know, you didn't even _hesitate_ when you shot me, and it has me a little worried."

"Just playing the part."

Outwardly Evan nodded, but to himself he said, _Wish __I__ believed that._

~~O~~

Woolsey walked into Sheila's office and waited patiently for his executive assistant to conclude her phone call. "Sheila, Morticia and I have set our wedding date for two weeks after the conference in DC."

"That's great, boss. Where's it gonna be?"

"We'll have a small ceremony at The Little White Church."

His assistant smiled. "I've been by there. It's very nice. Recently renovated but still has that small town charm and best of all, not an Elvis impersonator within three miles."

"And therein lays the reason it was chosen. I need you to do me a favor, if you would."

"Anything."

For the first time since she'd known him, her boss seemed at a loss for words. "I don't have any siblings. You are the closest thing I have to a best friend and I would be honored if you would stand with me on my wedding day."

"Me? Your best man? Wow! Um…Sure, boss."

"And as my best man, would you also run a few errands for me?" Reaching into his side pocket, Woolsey withdrew two business cards. "Pick up the invitations at the printers. They're pre-printed with the names and addresses so I'd appreciate it if you'd also mail them. And please call the rental agency to confirm our order for tables and chairs."

"Of course."

"Thank you." He started for the door then turned back. "Morticia and I will be leaving early tonight to meet with the caterer. Would you send an email to these persons, please?" He handed her a sheet of paper. Sheppard and Lorne's names were at the top. "They're additions to the list of attendees for the conference in DC next month."

"Wait! _My_ name is on this list. I've never been to one before."

"Well, you're going this year."

Sheila started sputtering incoherently finally getting her words back. "But that place'll be filled with Generals and diplomats and heads of state. Compared to them, I'm nobody."

Woolsey lifted one eyebrow at her little rant then turned for the door. "Consider it an order, best man. You're going if I have to come and get you myself."

"But…" The door closed before she could complete whatever she'd been about to say. "Okay, _fine_. But now I gotta get a date 'cause I am not going alone and I'm _not_ going with my brother. And a dress. I need a dress."

**Palm Bay, NC**

**Abandoned Warehouse**

Evan and John conferred with the soldier in charge, the agents exited the warehouse headed for the 'Ray and something to eat. Evan hissed in pain as he rubbed the spot where he'd been "shot." "That damn blast pack hurt like _hell_."

Touching his own injury involuntarily, John said, "I was shot in the same place a few weeks ago. Still hurts sometimes." He pulled away from the curb, made a U-turn through the parking lot and roared down the street. "How'd you end up at Area 52?"

"Why?"

"Curious."

"Stopped a nest of Goa'uld from infiltrating the world's power structure. You?"

"Killed a Wraith. Saved the entire _planet._" John's pride oozed out of him.

Evan, relaxed in the passenger seat, his seatbelt snugged across his chest and lap, said, "Is everything we do gonna be a contest?"

John shrugged. "Probably."

"Good. Wouldn't want it to get boring," Evan stated with supreme satisfaction. "So bring it on…partner."

~~O~~

Evan didn't know what made him issue the challenge to Sheppard. He didn't like the man and Lee's death still rankled, but he was starting to get the feeling that even the military court didn't know the entire story about the crash. What's more, Sheppard probably hadn't told it to anyone, military _or_ civilian.

And he burned with the knowledge that there was much more to the story than just a pilot disobeying orders with the result being the deaths of twelve people. A _lot_ more. And the only way to get that information was to stick close to the one person who could give it to him. Not that he'd do so willingly, but if he stuck around long enough, saved the man's life a few more times, maybe he'd be able to convince Sheppard to give it up a little at a time.

His thoughts came to an abrupt halt when a young man jumped out in front of the car.

~~O~~

Out of the corner of his eye, John watched Lorne stare into space wondering what he was thinking. He didn't strike him as the type to be able to just kill someone and not feel it even if the guy was scum.

"Stop! Please stop!"

John slammed on the brakes, barely missing the man who'd jumped out in front of them. His hands came to rest on the hood and he looked scared to death.

"Please help us! My wife's having a baby, the car won't start and I'm not getting cell service."

Lorne was out of the car before the engine had been turned off. "Where is she?" Both men followed the young father to a mid-sized hybrid sedan. A young blonde woman was in the back seat panting, both hands rubbing her enormous belly. The ex-cop took his jacket off, tossed it aside and opened the back door.

"What the hell are you _doing_, Lorne?" Though John couldn't see it, he knew Lorne was grinning.

"Surely you've done this before, Sheppard." He placed one knee on the seat, his voice low and soothing. "We're sort of cops, ma'am. We'll take care of you."

Groaning, she lifted her head and glared at Evan. "How can you _sort of _be police?"

"We work for the ISA, the International Security Agency." _At least that's what is says on our IDs._ "Um, I need to take a look, okay?" The young woman nodded, panting and looking scared. Over his shoulder, he said, "Sheppard, give, uh…"

"Jeff…Chandler. That's my wife, Ashley."

"Give Jeff your phone so he can call the paramedics then go around the other side and help Ashley." Lorne peeked under Ashley's dress again not surprised to see the baby's head showing. "This baby is ready _now_." To John he said, "Open the overnight bag there and see if there's a blanket, something to wrap the baby in."

"But…"

"Just _do_ it!" John opened the bag and took out a hand-made light blue blanket. He passed it to Lorne then got behind Ashley kneeling on the seat and holding her shoulders elevated as he'd seen in the movies.

Ashley, her face coated with perspiration, tried to smile. "I made it myself."

"It's beautiful. Now, Ashley, when the next contraction comes, I need you to push. Okay?"

She nodded. "Okay. Oh! Here it comes! Aaaahh!" Her face scrunched in concentration, she grunted.

John watched as Lorne calmly took control of the situation, giving the scared parents-to-be orders that sounded like suggestions. "Get ready. This next one is gonna be the big one. Push, Ashley! Push!"

~~O~~

The EMT climbed inside the ambulance, John closed the door then slapped the back. The flashing lights came on and the vehicle pulled out into traffic. Evan came to stand next to him, arms crossed and looking very full of himself. Instead of engaging in their usual banter, John said, "What d'you think it would take to get Woolsey or Carter to get us each one of those Zats? You know, as a back-up weapon."

Uncrossing his arms, Evan reached into the side pockets of his jacket and pulled out two of the palm sized weapons, tossing one to his partner. Not another word was exchanged as the men got into the car to go back to their hotel.

~~O~~

Back in his room at the hotel, Evan showered, pulled on the boxers he wore as pj's and went to the wet bar. At first he'd complained about the cost of renting the overpriced suites, but at the moment he was glad for Sheppard's foresight. Opening the refrigerator, he started to take out a bottle of his favorite root beer, changed his mind and put it back. Standing behind the bar leaning on the edge, he just let himself drift for a few heartbeats. With a muttered oath he took down a glass, opened the freezer, tossed in a few cubes and stood there looking over the liquor selection.

Normally he drank lite beer, stopping after just one. He'd never been drunk before and didn't want to turn into an alcoholic like his uncle. The man had died a mean, lonely drunk about five years before. It was a good thing though because if he'd gone on as he had, his liver would have exploded from the cirrhosis that had been in the first stages. His wife and kids hadn't had anything to do with him for the ten years prior to that and Evan hadn't seen them much after they moved to a small town in New York.

Finally choosing a fine old bottle of scotch, he poured two fingers of the amber liquid. Cautiously taking a sip, he wondered over to the balcony doors, pushed them open and went to lean on the railing. Watching the moonless night sky over the water he thought about everything that had happened today.

He'd taken a man's life today. Not that he hadn't in the past. But this time it was for a different reason than because he was protecting the lives of his squad or a group of innocent civilians.

Nope. Today he'd had the chance to get revenge for Lee and the life she could have had, the family she might have created to carry on her legacy of patriotism and self-sacrifice for the sake of freedom. Today he'd had the chance to watch Sheppard die for the pain he'd caused her family and friends. All he would've had to do is stand still and let Kenny hit him with the Zat a second time.

And he'd almost done it. But in the end, he didn't. Couldn't. He couldn't let his one chance of finding out the truth get away.

So he'd killed Kenny instead. Without a second thought he'd hit the guy with three bolts from the Zat and watched with something akin to pleasure as he was vaporized. With Sheppard watching, he hadn't been able to react to what he'd done so he'd taken refuge in that place of stillness he'd created the day he'd heard his dad had died. He kept his cool, giving the appearance of detachment and apathy, waiting until he was alone to pull out his emotions and examine them.

He thought about punching a wall or even kicking a chair, had even started to do so but stopped with his foot drawn back thinking about the events that occurred almost immediately afterwards. And that changed his scowl into a smile.

A baby. He'd brought a new life into the world, a baby boy who would inherit the planet…planets being explored now. A fitting heritage for anyone and he was there at the beginning.

Doors opening to his right jerked him out of his reflections. Glancing to the side he saw Sheppard come out onto his own balcony and flop into a lounge chair, his legs crossed at the ankles. The dark head turned in his direction. He lifted his bottle of imported beer in a salute. Evan mirrored the gesture then he too took a seat in a matching chair and there they'd stayed just watching the world pass by knowing it would be left in good hands.

**The Next Afternoon**

**Mercy Hospital**** Maternity Ward**

**Room 10C**

Jeff opened the door, his face lighting up when he saw John and Evan standing holding an enormous stuffed animal and a powder blue bag respectively. They were ushered in and the door closed again.

The room was bright and cheery. The shades open to let in the afternoon light. "Ash, look who's here." Jeff went to the opposite side of the bed and sat down next to his wife.

The new mother's face smiled hugely. "Hey! Come on in."

Handing Ashley the gifts, Evan and John stood in the middle of the room uncertain what to do next.

"We were hopin' to see you again, to thank you for all you did." Ashley looked happy and excited. And well she should be.

Evan looked embarrassed. "You're very welcome."

"Would you like to see him?" The men nodded and Ashley pointed at a clear-sided bassinet beside the bed, a tiny figure wrapped in a white and blue hospital blanket asleep inside, a blue knit cap on his head. One little fist was pushed against a cheek and the other on his chest. "Um, we hope you don't mind but…" the young mother blushed, "…we named him after the two of you."

Evan and John huddled over the baby, careful not to bump the bassinet, peering at the sleeping child. His voice soft, John whispered, "Hey there, John Evan."

His voice just as quiet, Evan said, "_John_ Evan? It could be _Evan_ John, y'know."

Waving a hand, his partner huffed gently so he wouldn't wake the child. "Nahhh. It's not. It's John Evan."

"Um, we're a little confused. Your first names are John and Evan?" Jeff's voice held a note of awkwardness mixed with embarrassment.

The agents looked at each other then at the parents, John saying, "Yeah. Why?"

"Um…we only heard you call each other Lorne and Sheppard so…" 

Evan's eyes narrowed as he realized why Jeff and Ashley were giving them dazed looks. "So the boy's name is…"

Together, Ashley and Jeff told them, "Lorne Sheppard Chandler."

~~O~~

Evan and John left the hospital, got in their car and pulled out into traffic. At the light, John looked over at his partner who sat there with a smug and very self-satisfied grin. "Say it."

"I think that boy's gonna go places. With the Lorne name, how can he go wrong?"

"He's also part _Sheppard_, you know. And he'll probably go by his middle name."

Shaking his head, Evan hid a grin. "He won't."

**Area 52**

"Hi, guys." Angel's cheery voice reached them before she did. "How was the first _official_ mission?"

"Great. And only one fatality." Evan told her with pride. "Turns out the ringleader was an old acquaintance of Sheppard's."

John snorted. "Yeah. Kenny is, at this very moment, being greeted at the gates of hell by none other than the devil himself. I wouldn't be surprised if he was made second-in-command." He didn't mention the recordings of Kenny admitting that he'd let John take the rap for the theft of the dean's car and that he'd killed a total of eleven people. _That_ he would take to Woolsey as soon as he talked to Angel.

"Good work, John."

"Wasn't me though I'd thought about it a time or two over the last couple of decades. Lorne did it."

She gave Evan an impressed smile.

To cover his embarrassment over the praise, Evan said, "Well, he was about to shoot Sheppard. I'd have let him, but the paperwork is such a pain in the…backside."

John watched Angel try to hide a startled look and he wished Evan had kept quiet about him nearly getting killed. "It was no big deal." The look on Angel's face turned into one that told him they'd be talking about it later. But for now, he had the perfect distraction. "_And_ we delivered a baby."

"Really?"

Both men puffed their chests out. "The parents named him after us."

Angel started walking and they followed. "John Evan or Evan John?"

After exchanging an eye roll and a small glare with John, Evan explained. "Neither. They named the kid Lorne Sheppard Chandler."

"Oh, no." She covered her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

When they reached the Infirmary door, John thought it was now or never. "An-Jennifer, can we talk?"

Angel glanced at Evan who jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "I'm gonna get a shower and a nap. Later."

Now that they were alone, John's courage had taken a hike. But he wanted this and had to find out if she wanted it too so he reached out and grabbed his courage by the scruff of its neck. "I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner."

"Oh, sorry. I just had lunch. We can meet in the Commissary later if you like."

"No, I mean go _out_ to dinner. Saturday night. You and me."

Angel's eyes widened in comprehension, her heart suddenly began beating wildly in her chest. _He's asking me on a __date__!_ "Um, I'd love to. Really but I have to get back to Atlantis."

Though he was disappointed, John tried to keep his face unreadable the way his partner did. "When you get back then."

"Sure." She swiped her card and opened the Infirmary door. Turning back, John saw a bright smile liberally laced with the look that said she had an idea. "Why don't you and Evan come with me? Just for a few days."

He didn't even think about it. "Count me in."

"Great. We leave for the SGC at 1300 tomorrow. Both of you be there…" she poked him in the chest, "…or be square."

~~O~~

Jennifer hurried down the hall to her office, her eyes wide and trying not to blush. She'd asked John well, sort of on a date and he'd accepted. Maybe in Atlantis he'd loosen up a little and they could get to know each other better as a man and woman, not just as doctor and patient. But not to have sex. Well, yeah, to have sex. Just not yet. He still had some issues to work through with Caitlin and the chopper crash that killed her before he would be ready to have any kind of LTR. LTR was Amanda's shorthand for long-term relationship.

That thought led her to another and she rolled her eyes at herself. Now that David was gone as was the stress of him always being around watching her, she put some pieces together that had been floating around inside her head, finally seeing the big picture.

The night she and John had first kissed she'd written a report. But that wasn't all she'd done. With that report she'd removed herself as John's doctor turning his day-to-day care, should he need it, over to Derek and his staff. At the time they'd almost slept together, technically she was no longer his doctor and completely within her right to do so if she wanted to, if_ he_ wanted to.

Jennifer wasn't actually the CMO of Area 52 but she was tasked with overseeing its staff, at least for now. But this running back and forth from Pegasus to the Milky Way was wearing on her physically and mentally. And not just because of the travelling.

She tried to push away the memory of the whispered rumors that said the OAB was contemplating recalling the Atlantis expedition but they jumped around waving their arms to get her attention. Not knowing if she should believe them, she hadn't asked Sam or Mr. Woolsey though that seemed a little childish. _If I don't ask, it won't be true…even if it's true._

Rolling her eyes, she was about to sit down at her desk when alarms went off and that could only mean one thing. Running down the hall, she encountered Derek and Ana heading for the door that opened out toward the airfield.

Hurrying to the jeep that screeched to a stop just inside the covered area adjacent to the Infirmary, she saw a man dressed in camouflage and covered in blood. All her fears and worries for the fate of Atlantis faded away as the soldiers carried their injured comrade into the triage area. The three men stood back out of the way while the medical personnel worked to save the life of their friend.

~~O~~

Evan turned off the shower, grabbed a towel from the rack, dried his hair then slung the damp cloth around his waist, tucking the end in over his left side. It hung low on his hips leaving the expanse of his chest bare down to below his navel. Rubbing a hand through the dampness of the sparse hair on his chest, he touched the purple bruise above his left nipple, wincing because it was still sore. If he didn't know better, he'd have thought Sheppard had made the pack too strong on purpose.

He stood at the sink to brush and floss his teeth. That done, he went out to the dresser to get something to sleep in. But before he could do so there was a loud banging on his door that had him flinging it open ready to respond to whatever emergency awaited him, totally forgetting he was wearing nothing but the towel. Sheppard stood there, a look of excitement in his eyes Evan had never seen.

"Get packed, Lorne. We're going to Atlantis."

**TBC**


	23. A Nice Place to Visit

**A/N:** Copious thanks to ladygris, dwparsnip and Shadows-of-Realm for all their help with this chapter. All three provided Beta services, opinions and comments that made this a much more interesting chapter than I thought it would be.

_Merci_,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 23**

**A Nice Place to Visit**

"Don't just _stand_ there. Get _packing_." Totally forgetting about staying calm and in control, John's enthusiasm poured out of him. This new adventure had him feeling like a kid again. Or rather, like the kid he'd been before his mother had passed away.

"_What_ are you talking about?"

Huffing, John took a deep breath. "Atlantis." He let that thought sink in for a few seconds. "In or out?"

"In."

Both men turned when they heard the familiar voice of the shrink. "Hello, boys."

~~O~~

"Doc," Evan said while Sheppard just nodded.

Tish stopped in front of them, her mouth turned up in a smirk as her violet eyes glanced downward.

That's when Evan realized his towel had loosened, gaping open in the front. He grabbed the edges and wrapped them around him again holding the side with one hand, blushing mildly. That blush deepened when, with a twinkle in her eyes and the lift of one eyebrow, Tish said, "You have _nothing_ to be embarrassed about, Agent Lorne." She winked and continued on her way.

Under his breath, John muttered something about having nightmares.

Finally seeing the humor in the situation, Evan said, "What's wrong, Shepp? Afraid you don't measure up?"

"Oh, I can _unquestionably_ measure up. It's unexpected peeks at…" he shuddered and followed Tish. "Hey, doc. Got a minute?"

Tish ignored the byplay behind her and kept walking though she did slow down to let John catch up. Evan couldn't tear his eyes away from how the material of her slacks tightened over her firm backside as it shifted side to side with each step. That is until she said, "Eyes back in your head, Evan" a millisecond before he groaned and his door slammed shut.

**The Next Morning**

**Tish's Office**

The office looked the same, smelled the same and even felt the same. However, something was different but John couldn't quite put his finger on it. He took a drink of water waiting for Tish to begin their session.

She sat down and crossed her legs. "I know you're going on a trip today so we'll get right to it. Tell me about…"

"If you don't mind, doc, could I choose the subject?"

She folded her hands together where her knees crossed. "Please."

"Thanks." Taking one more drink as a stalling technique, he tried to organize his thoughts. "I, uh, went to a casino the other day to…play poker." Tish's expression didn't change as she waited for him to continue. "I was just about to go in when something stopped me."

"What stopped you?"

"_I_ stopped me. I realized what might happen if…uh, I just…didn't want to…there've been so many…failures in my life. I didn't want _this_ to be another." The admission didn't come easy for him and he knew she could see it. The change in her eyes was subtle but it was there. As his shrink, she was proud of him and that made him feel…cared for. "On my way out I called my sponsor. We had coffee and talked."

"Good job, John." She paused watching him with those eyes that saw more than most. "What else is on your mind today?"

"Kenny Talbot. We grew up together, our families were good friends and we went to the same schools up until college. My sophomore year at Stanford, I was home for spring break…"

**Woolsey's Office**

**1230 Hours**

"Boss, Agent Sheppard wants to see you. I'm sending him in." Sheila's voice interrupted Woolsey's train of thought. Not that he was thinking about work. At the moment he was using his personal SmartPhone to plan a honeymoon cruise to the Caribbean. He'd booked a balcony suite and several land excursions as well as shipboard functions.

A moment later, Sheppard entered and took the chair in front of the desk. "What can I do for you, Agent Sheppard?"

"I've already forwarded you the recording where Kenny Talbot admitted to killing those people, but there's something I didn't put in the report because it's, uh, personal." Sheppard laid his phone on the desk. "He also admitted to committing a crime that I was convicted of." He touched the key to activate the recording already cued up. The sound of Kenny's voice filled the room telling how he'd stolen the car and made certain that Sheppard would be blamed for it.

Woolsey listened to Kenny's confession without expression, hands resting on the desk in front of him. When the recording finished, he sat back, not showing what he was thinking. "That puts a somewhat different spin on the situation. Forward that to me and I'll see what I can do."

Sheppard nodded, touched a few keys and a moment later Woolsey's computer beeped signaling receipt of the recording.

With a nod, Woolsey dismissed his visitor. When he was gone, he put on his headset and called his contact in California. "Arthur? Richard. I need your assistance with getting a friend's record corrected…Yes. The episode needs to be purged from his file as if it never happened. Plus the record of the true perpetrator should reflect the incident…That will be fine. Thank you. I'll send the particulars to your office immediately. And please give my regards to your family…of _course_ you and Paula are invited to the wedding. Your invitation is already in the mail. Yes, old fashioned but then so am I." He pushed out of his chair and went into Sheila's office. "Please call the printer and have one additional invitation printed and sent to Arthur and Paula Chen _today_. The address can be found online."

"You got it. Wait. Isn't Arthur Chen the _governor_ of California?"

"He is."

"Oh. Okay."

Woolsey turned at the door. "By the way, David Magee's replacement will be here tomorrow. His name is Tobias Ritter, a former Marine. I'll forward his information."

"Yes, boss."

~~O~~

As John packed for his trip to Atlantis he went over his session with Doc Adams. Something had been different when he'd entered her office and now he knew what it was. Him. _He_ was different. Not much but enough that she'd noticed. It was almost as if the change had happened over night though he knew it hadn't. The change started the day he met McKay and had been shown a world that he never knew existed.

_Nothing is what you think it is._

And McKay had _not_ been exaggerating. In his mind, he'd known there was a possibility that there could be life somewhere other than on Earth and that one day humans would travel out among the stars to find them. And now he knew it had been going on for, well, since 1928. His mind had finally wrapped itself around the concept and accepted it as fact. Now all he had to do was go forward.

In a few minutes he'd be not only on another planet but in another _galaxy_. His excitement rose with each passing moment along with his fear of the unknown. And this was a _huge_ unknown. Though how difficult could it be to get used to all this extra knowledge that he couldn't even share with his family, if he'd had one?

Family…

There'd been a time when he and Dave had told each other everything. Now it had been so long since he'd spoken to him he wasn't certain he'd recognize his voice. He'd only spoken to his wife Annie once and had only seen photos of their kids in magazine photos.

He pictured his brother's face the last time he'd seen him. Sad but bravely holding it all together. That had been at his father's funeral though Dave hadn't seen him. The last time he'd come onto the property before that day the butler had called the cops as he'd been instructed by his dad. John had left before they could arrive and arrest him for trespassing. He didn't want a repeat so he'd just watched the wake from a hill on old Mr. Morrison's property using a set of binoculars. The elderly man was in his nineties, attended by nurses and doctors around the clock and never went farther from the house than the back patio. Though he'd been a ruthless businessman, he'd always been kind to John. Partly to tweak Patrick Sheppard and partly because he thought the man's treatment of his eldest son was unreasonable.

When the party moved to the family crypt for the interment, he'd followed at a discrete distance, again watching through the binoculars. They were one of the few gifts he'd gotten from his dad that he'd taken with him when he left. They were gone now, destroyed with his car. Every time he got near a pawn shop he was tempted to see if they had anything similar but didn't and now wished he had.

Out of habit he grabbed his cell phone though he wouldn't need it in Pegasus. He was about to drop it into the bedside table. He stared at the dark screen. Turning it on, his thumb poised over the keys, he dialed a number from memory before he could change his mind.

It was answered on the first ring. "Sheppard." Dave. He sounded just the same. "Is someone there?"

With an angry jab he hung up, shut it off and dropped it in the drawer next to the Celtic cross. He roughly zipped up the duffle bag, shouldered it and left to join Angel and Lorne in the Infirmary.

**Stargate Command**

**1300 Hours**

The wormhole kawooshed from the center of the Stargate startling both men as neither one had seen a dialing in person before. The blue water illusion rippled like the surface of a pond in a breeze.

Jennifer hitched her bag on her shoulder and stepped onto the ramp. Evan and John followed stopping just before they reached the event horizon.

Pointing, John said, "So we step through that and we'll be three million light years from here?"

One side of Jennifer's mouth lifted in a smile. "Not scared, are ya?"

"Of course not. Except for my tour in Afghanistan, I've never been out of the country, and this is _way_ more than just a three-day trip to Mexico or Vancouver."

Evan didn't say anything, just watched the Stargate taking everything in. He stepped to the side and peered around the back. It looked pretty much the same as the front except that he could see Sheppard and Jennifer through the illusion of the event horizon, their figures distorted and surreal like a funhouse mirror. Taking a deep breath, he stood up straight. "Okay, I'm ready…I think."

Looking from one to the other, Jennifer's face scrunched in annoyance. "You are two of the biggest _babies_ I've ever seen. It won't _hurt_ you." Still they hesitated so she got between them taking their hands. "On three. One…two…" Before they could object, she stepped into the wormhole. Caught off guard, they stumbled forward, inexorably drawn into the wormhole.

**Atlantis**

**Gate Room**

"…three."

Their arrival in the lost city left John and Evan speechless. Well, sort of. Evan groaned leaning over to press his hands to his knees, gagging. "Ooohh I'm gonna be sick."

John felt the same way, but refused to let it show, especially in front of the experienced travelers staring at them from around the room.

They looked up when a deep voice echoed slightly in the vast room. Hands leaning on the railing, a balding man in uniform glowered down at them. "First time through the 'gate, gentlemen?"

Out of the side of his mouth, John asked, "Who's that?"

Equally quietly, she responded, "Colonel Steven Caldwell, the new expedition commander."

"I see you and your guests have arrived safely, Dr. Keller."

"Yes, Colonel. And thank you for approving their visit on such short notice."

"Not at all. While they're here, they will be _your_ responsibility." His tone left no room for argument.

Doing her best not to growl in annoyance, Jennifer smiled. "Of course." To her companions she said, "Come on, guys. We'll get you settled in your rooms then after your physicals, I'll take you on a tour."

"Physicals?" Evan asked. "But I feel fine now." _Liar!_

"You didn't say anything about _physicals_. I've been poked a prodded enough to last a lifetime."

Jennifer started walking and they followed. "Sorry. Regulations." She dropped her voice down to barely a whisper. "And Caldwell's a stickler."

"I would've used a different word, but we can go with that." John was slightly distracted as was Evan. A couple of female soldiers passed by dressed in workout gear and they stopped to watch until Jennifer snapped her fingers in their faces.

"I'm over _here_, guys."

The trio entered a small enclosure similar to an elevator. It had controls and what looked like a "you are here" map. Jennifer touched a random place on the screen, the doors closed and suddenly they were somewhere else.

~~O~~

John couldn't help staring at, well, everything. _This is __so__ much better than Disneyland! _He'd watched the videos but nothing quite compared to seeing it live and in person. Angel showed Lorne to his room then led him around the corner to his.

She waved a hand over the biosensor and the door opened. "Dr. Zelenka will enter your biosignatures into the system so you can roam around freely. Sort of. There are a few places that Caldwell doesn't want visitors to have access to."

"Don't blame him. This place could be a death trap to someone who doesn't know squat about the tech. Like me."

"And Evan." She followed him inside but stayed near the door so it wouldn't close. Atlantis operated like a small town. Everyone knew everything about everybody. And she didn't want to be the subject of gossip that was sure to follow if she was seen disappearing behind closed doors with him.

"Right."

"So what do you think so far?"

John tossed his bag on the bed, turning in a circle to survey the room. He'd been given a room that had a window, stained glass that turned the sunshine streaming through it red, blue green and yellow. There was a desk but it was in the corner so he had an unobstructed view of the city's east pier. Evenly spaced scorch marks showed that something very big landed there on a regular basis.

"It's great. What d'you think the chances are of getting in a little surfing?"

Jennifer thought for a moment. "I know just the place. PC5-559. The weather's warm and constant breezes make waves perfect for surfing." She really sounded like she knew what she was talking about and couldn't help grinning. The first time she'd tried surfing she hadn't been able to let go of the board because she was petrified having never told her instructor that she didn't know how to swim.

Amanda Cole hadn't laughed like others had. They'd spent the next couple of weeks with her friend patiently teaching her the fundamentals of swimming so that their next time out at the beach would be her first real surfing lesson. "I can arrange for us to go one day, if you like."

"Cool." He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "So what's next?

"The Infirmary."

~~O~~

After their physicals and stopping in the lab to see Zelenka, John walked beside Angel through the halls of Atlantis, Lorne on her other side, doing his best not to stare at the unusual architecture. The stonewashed earth tones seemed to fit somehow, the high tech devices blending in flawlessly.

The doors to the Mess Hall opened bringing his attention to the people inside. They were a mixture of military and civilian in a variety of uniforms, some even in causal or workout gear, except for a man with long dreadlocks and a very pretty auburn-haired woman. Both were dressed in natural fabrics.

The woman stood, barely reaching John's shoulders. "I am Teyla Emmagan, daughter of Tagaan and Torren and leader of the Athosian people."

"John Sheppard, son of Caroline and Patrick."

"Evan Lorne, uh, son of Susan and Richard."

Her smile was warm and genuine. "Welcome to New Lantea." She placed her hands on John's shoulders, bending her head forward. He looked at Jennifer and she nodded. Tilting his head down, he let it touch hers briefly. She moved over to Evan and performed the same ritual. "I'm teaching a Bantos fighting class this afternoon. Would either of you care come?"

John saw that though she was talking to both of them, she was looking at Lorne, and chuckled to himself because Lorne was looking back.

~~O~~

Evan touched his forehead to Teyla's, her small hands on his shoulders and felt a slight tremor, a shiver of awareness traveling along his nerve endings. He stepped back before it reached some of his more sensitive areas that would react in predicable fashion. One glance into her dark brown eyes told him she'd felt it too. She ducked her head, invited them to her class then hurried from the room.

Exerting all his willpower, he tore his gaze from her lithe, catlike walk and turned his attention to the man with the hair before someone, like Sheppard, made a comment.

~~O~~

"Sounds like fun." John said and Evan agreed, Jennifer rolling her eyes at their assessment.

"We shall see," Teyla said enigmatically, gathered up her dishes and left.

Jennifer indicated the man. "This is Ronon Dex. He's from Sateda."

"John Sheppard." When John stuck out his hand, Ronon stood, towering over everyone, even John's six plus feet presenting an imposing figure with his long wild hair, beard and dark, penetrating eyes. "Now I know why she calls you Chewy."

"What?"

His deep voice sounded dangerous and John got the idea it would sound that way even if he were reading the Wal-Mart ads. "Never mind. Uh, you spar too?"

Ronon snorted. "Yeah. Why?"

"No reason. Maybe after I've had a couple lessons we can…"

"John!" Angel's hand on his arm and the warning tone of her voice stopped him midsentence. "Sorry, Ronon. He's gonna be too busy while he's here."

"But I was just…" Now she had him by the hand dragging him out of the Mess Hall, Evan close behind.

When they were out in the hall Angel stopped walking. "One piece of advice for _both_ of you. Do _not_ get into a sparring match with Ronon."

"Why not?" John wanted to know.

She opened and closed her mouth working out the best way to say what she had to say. "He's the last of his people. There _are_ no others that we've been able to find. When the Wraith destroyed his planet he was culled and turned into a Runner. Runners are humans hunted by the Wraith for sport and training. A tracking device is inserted between the shoulder blades next to the spine. When we found him he'd been on the run for _seven_ _years_. The need to avoid populated planets forced him to live on his own. When he first came to Atlantis he wasn't used to being in one place for more than a day at most. The first week he put five of our biggest and strongest soldiers, _and_ Caldwell, in the infirmary."

"So he's got a lot of anger to work out. Don't we all?"

"No, John. Not like that." She turned away from both men as they were looking at her with identical stubbornness and disbelief. "Fine. _Do_ what you want. The Infirmary is always open." Reaching into her pocket, she handed each man a wireless headset. "I have to get to work. Call if you need anything. One tap turns it on and a second one turns it off. _Don't_ touch anything and _don't_ get into trouble."

~~O~~

John and Evan watched Jennifer walk quickly away and around a corner.

Scoffing, John said, "Don't get into trouble? Does she _know_ who she's talking to?"

Evan let out a rare chuckle. "Yeah. _That's_ why she said it."

"I'm gonna do some exploring," John told him, ignoring his comment. He wanted to be alone to process everything he'd seen and experienced so far.

"Yeah. Me too. Don't forget that class tonight."

John snorted. "I'll be there."

~~O~~

Somehow, John found himself outside the open doors of the Jumper Bay. The voices inside spoke with a variety of accents and were made up of scientists and a few military. He eased into the enormous room taking in the cylindrical ships berthed at different levels around the walls up to what looked like a hatch that would allow them to leave the city. And they looked just the right size to fly through the 'gate. Another hatch in the side wall was probably how they got to the Gate Room.

"Can I help you?"

John turned in the direction of the voice. A young Marine stood there, his eyes pinched in suspicion and annoyance. He had no doubt that this…boy could and would take him out in a heartbeat if he thought there was a need. "Special Agent John Sheppard, Area 52. I'm sort of a friend of Dr. Keller's."

Now the Marine grinned and extended his hand. "Sergeant Tommy Stackhouse, sir. Welcome to Atlantis."

"Thanks. Uh, what _are_ those?"

"Jumpers." Tommy gestured for John to follow him. "They have the capability of flight through space, a planetary atmosphere _and_ underwater."

"Jumpers?"

"Yeah. Colonel Sumner said they were like the small Earth aircraft called puddle jumpers and the name stuck." Leading him around the room, Tommy's expression changed, his smile disappearing. "The Colonel was our original military head. He was killed the first week. Fed on by a Wraith."

Trying not to cringe, John nodded. "Saw the video. Not a pleasant way to go."

"No kidding. One of the docs could explain it better, but the thing is they inject you with something that strengthens your systems all across the board so you don't die immediately when the feeding starts."

"So they make you stronger to take longer to kill you?"

"Pretty much."

John's silence gave his opinion of that aspect of the Wraith.

Both men turned when an accented voice called out. "Sergeant Stackhouse, I need your assistance please."

Following Tommy into the nearest Jumper, John watched as the young Marine performed tests the scientist requested using the control console to the left in the front of the Jumper. He missed flying. The entire situation fascinated him. The ship, the controls, the HUD, everything, his palms itching to get at the controls.

"Agent Sheppard, please sit down. The inertial dampeners are offline and I'm going to lift off."

"Sure." John took the seat to Tommy's right, stifling a gasp when the rear hatch closed and they began to rise into the air. The ship hovered in place just a few meters off the floor of the bay until the scientist told him to land again.

"Sorry to startle you, sir."

"No harm done. So how do you fly one of these things?" After a short internal debate, John explained, "I was a chopper pilot in Afghanistan."

Tommy smiled understanding. Once a pilot, always a pilot. "You need to have the ATA gene to be able to access its systems. It sort of reads your mind but also obeys your commands." He took his hands from the console and all the controls went dark, the engines shutting down. "All you have to do is touch the controls…" he did so and they came on again, "…and think what you want it to do." A moment later the HUD came back up. Tommy shifted his gaze to John. "Do _you_ have the gene, sir?"

John shrugged as if he didn't care. "No idea."

"Sergeant, come here for a moment."

"Excuse me. And please, _don't_ touch anything."

John nodded and Tommy went into the rear compartment to confer with the man. They hadn't been introduced but the patch on his sleeve indicated he was from a country in South America.

While the two men were talking, John got up and went over to look more closely at the flight controls. He glanced over his shoulder but the men were faced away from him. Taking that a sign, he seated himself in the pilot's chair, resting one hand on the edge and leaning forward so he could see all of the controls. The second he touched it, everything came to life again. The engines came on and the ship lifted into the air…and kept going.

**TBC**


	24. Glimpses of the Big Picture

**A/N:** As always, ladygris must be thanked for her Beta services, suggestions, comments, as so forth. Shadows-of-Realm gave me a line for Carson to say and dwparsnip also assisted by demanding the next chapter when he reached the cliffhanger ending. I'm grateful for their help and friendships.

I'm not sure if I need to issue a warning of some type for this chapter due to an incident towards the end. But be careful just in case.

Namaste,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 24**

**Glimpses of the Big Picture**

A thrill rushed through John and a low buzzing started inside his head, the ship talking to him, welcoming him as if he were a prodigal son finally coming home. He watched the side of the bay and berthed Jumpers slip toward the bottom of the window as the one he was in slowly rose toward the ceiling. In an instant Tommy was at his side.

"How do I _stop_ it?" To his surprise, the ship came to an abrupt halt within ten meters of the bay doors which had started to open automatically when it sensed one of the ships approaching. "Oh."

His voice calm, but with an edge of aggravation, Tommy said, "Think _down_, sir."

Without closing his eyes, he concentrated and the ship slowly settled back into place with a small thump. "_That_ was _cool!_"

"No, sir, it _wasn't_." The back hatch opened and Tommy gestured John toward the exit then followed him out. "Come with me."

John didn't miss how that last sentence had the feel of an order. "Okay, but if we're going for a beer you should know I left my wallet on Earth." John waited but the Marine didn't respond to his attempt at humor. _Tough room._

Tommy tapped his headset. "Stackhouse to Colonel Caldwell."

"_Caldwell._"

"Sir, there's been an incident in the Jumper Bay with one of the visitors." He slanted his eyes accusingly at John.

"_The alarms told us that. Bring him to my office."_

"Uh, Colonel, I believe this meeting should held somewhere other than your office." The young Marine put a small amount of emphasis on his words trying to tell his commander what was going on without saying anything.

There was a pause. "_Take him to the Infirmary._"

"Yes, sir." Tapping his headset, he stopped John from leaving with a strong grip on his arm. "This way, sir." Another order.

_So much for sneaking out._

When they reached a transporter, John went in first and Tommy joined him. Without a word, the Sergeant tapped the screen while in his head John was saying _Oh, crap!_

**Area 52**

**Woolsey's Office**

Woolsey looked up at the firm knock on his open office door. A man with his brown hair cut military short and looking very uncomfortable in a suit and tie stood there awaiting an invitation to enter. Gesturing the man in, the Director stood, extending his hand. "Welcome to Area 52, Major Ritter."

"Glad to be here, sir." Both hands went behind his back, nearly a lifetime in the military in every line of his body. "I would like to thank you for accepting my application for a position at Area 52, Mr. Woolsey, though I'd like to know why you requested me specifically."

"Please sit down." Woolsey waited while Ritter did so then seated himself. "I asked for the records of all civilian contractors with my personal qualifications for this position. After making an exhaustive study, I chose you quite simply because of your military background and that you have spent the last four years in an office environment consisting of civilians and military, and excelled in your handling of both. Having spoken to several of your superiors, I know that you will give maximum effort in whatever assignments you're given whether it's seeing to the repainting of the exterior of the building or organizing an evacuation in the event of a Foothold situation."

"Thank you, sir. I'll do my best to justify your faith in me." Ritter shifted in his seat relaxing just a little. "With whom will I share an office?"

The corners of Woolsey's mouth tilted upward. "Did you read the job description?"

"Yes, though some of it seemed rather vague, if you don't mind me saying so, sir."

"That was deliberate on my part. I wanted someone who would care more about getting the job done than the perks surrounding the position." Woolsey touched the intercom. "Sheila, please come to my office."

"_Yes, boss._" Moments later, Woolsey's assistant appeared the doorway, Woolsey hiding a grin when she stared open-mouthed at Ritter who had come immediately to his feet. These days, not many men performed that courtesy to women.

"Sheila, this is Major Tobias Ritter."

Ritter nodded politely, waiting for Sheila to offer her hand. When she did, he took it gently in his larger one, shaking it twice. "A pleasure, ma'am."

"Likewise."

"Major Ritter is the new Assistant Director of Operations replacing David Magee."

Sheila gave him a winning smile. "Welcome to Area 52, Toby." To Woolsey she said, "I'll show him to his office, get him set up with access and give him the nickel tour."

"Please do."

Ritter stood in the middle of the room, a slightly stunned expression on his handsome face. "Assistant _Director_, sir?"

Now Woolsey's face had fallen into an expression of irritability, his tone a reprimand. "You don't have a problem with being my second-in-command, do you, Major?"

Straightening his back, Ritter's eyes looked over Woolsey's shoulder. "No, sir."

"Then get to work. If you have any questions, speak to Sheila. She knows more about what goes on around this facility than _I_ do."

**Atlantis**

**Infirmary**

"…you honestly expect me to believe you didn't know you had the gene?" Caldwell stood in front of John sitting on an exam bed, arms crossed and scowling.

"No, Colonel. I did _not_. I just…sat down." John resisted returning the scowl with a glare. "I used to be a pilot and was…curious."

"The medical equipment on Earth is fully capable of recognizing the gene in someone's DNA." Carson was more than a little upset with Caldwell in general and specifically because he'd taken Elizabeth's place. "Why it wouldn't have…"

"Um…" Jennifer drew the attention of the three men, her face showing embarrassment. "He didn't know because I didn't tell him."

Now John did glare though not hard. "You _knew_ I had this…mutant gene?"

The medical doctor sighed. "I'm sorry."

Accepting that explanation, Caldwell finally relaxed his stiff stance. "There won't be a formal reprimand on your record, Doctor. Just don't do it again."

Suitably chastised, Jennifer nodded. "Yes, Colonel."

"I want a full report of the incident on my desk within the hour." Caldwell aimed this last order at all three, made a perfect about face and left the Infirmary with Stackhouse right behind him.

~~O~~

When Caldwell had gone, John jumped off the table. "Report? That's like…paperwork, right?" He said the word with derision as he watched Angel bite her lip nervously then stop when she saw he was looking at her.

"'Fraid so."

"And by on his desk he means in his Inbox."

"Right again. You can use my computer."

Inside the glass walls of her office, John was careful not to do anything that would cause gossip among the staff, treating her as if she were just a friend. But with the door closed so no one could hear, he continued to use the nickname he'd given her. "Sorry I got you into trouble, Angel."

Her head came up sharply, eyes darting around as if she thought they'd be overheard. "It's my fault. I should have told you from the beginning."

Shrugging, John seated himself at her desk while she booted up the system and opened the application he needed for the report. "Don't worry about it. I kinda like surprises. And as surprises go, this one is in my top ten."

"Oh? How far up the list?" Now she was smiling again. He liked it when she smiled and she knew it.

Trying to appear unconcerned, he tapped a few keys getting the feel of her workstation. "Top three."

"Really? So what comes in one and two? I'd like a chance to improve my standing in the ratings."

Waving his hand vaguely and keeping his eyes on the screen so she couldn't see them, he said, "Actually, finding out I have this gene and can use it to fly some really cool aircraft is number two. Number one, well, that's a secret. For now."

~~O~~

Jennifer had been drawn to John from the moment his eyes met hers and glanced away, glad for the mask that hid much of her reaction until she could prepare. Meeting over a dead body was not an auspicious start to a relationship though it didn't seem to have done them any harm.

She hoped one day, whether they ended up together or not, that he'd be whole again, a person who could sleep without having bad dreams. For his sake, she was glad the rooms on the barracks level were soundproof. He didn't need the embarrassment of having security called in the middle of the night while he was here.

"All done. Wanna read it?"

While she'd been staring into space, John had finished his report. She leaned over, instructing him on how to send it to Caldwell. "I'm sure its fine. And I'm sorry to have to ask you to leave, but I have work that needs my attention."

"No problem. It's time for that fighting class in a few anyway." He turned back at the door. "Dinner later? Just you and me?"

"Sure. Um, 1900 in the Mess Hall?"

John nodded. "See you then."

~~O~~

Teyla walked the periphery of the room watching her newest group of students run through the Bantos routine she'd taught them, adjusting a stance here and a grip there, and dispensing advice as needed. But no matter how hard she tried, her gaze kept straying to Evan.

His movements, at first awkward when using the unfamiliar weapon, were slowly becoming natural and flowing, his face showing a concentration that spoke of years of discipline and self-control.

Blue eyes weren't as common among her people as they were with the Earth humans, but none she'd seen before had sparkled with humor and intelligence as well as great kindheartedness in the way that his did. Sometimes, when she caught him looking at her, she could see a spark of something in the depths of those eyes. Something she'd only seen on rare occasions.

Passion.

This man had a wellspring of passion within him that he tried to keep hidden under a blasé mask. His enthusiasm and zest for life rivaled her own desire to see and experience all that the universe could show her. And with that came a hunger, a craving for love that would last forever.

The times she spent with Kanaan paled in comparison to what this man had made her feel with just the barest brush of his fingers on hers as he took the Bantos rods from her hand. Yes, she did love Kanaan, had always loved him in some fashion, and it made her sad that she wasn't able to have those same feelings with a man she'd known all her life and had only just begun seeing as something other than a friend.

~~O~~

Out of the corner of his eye, Evan watched Teyla circle the room, her dark brown eyes missing nothing except the fact that he found her incredibly…desirable. The instant chemistry he'd felt when they first met had only increased in the hours since that time.

Blinking away the sensations she induced in him, he took his place with the others as far from Sheppard as possible and with an effort, turned his attention to his real reason for being here.

~~O~~

"Jen, love, what's troublin' ya?"

Jennifer started at Carson's question, realizing that she'd been peering into the eyepiece of the microscope without really seeing what was there. She sighed and leaned back in her chair, rubbing the back of her neck where it had stiffened up from her hunched position. "I don't think I'm right for this job."

"Pardon?"

"Chief Medical Officer. Dr. Weir should have chosen someone else to take over when you…"

"When I was killed in the explosion?" She nodded unhappily. "That's all in the past, love. And I think Elizabeth made the perfect choice. You've done a wonderful job."

"But you're back now. _You_ should be in charge." Carson came around the table to her side, gathering her into his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder, her arms around his chest squeezing tight.

"But I'm not really Carson Beckett. I'm his clone, an imperfect copy of the original. According to regulations, I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the Infirmary much less seein' patients."

"I know. I'm just glad you're here and that the SGC made an exception." She moved away from him. He handed her a tissue, she wiped tears from her cheeks and blew her nose.

"Now let's get back to work, young lady." His tone was mock stern as he returned to his side of the table. "So tell me about Agent Sheppard. Are you and he…"

"What? No, o-of course not." But her eyes wouldn't meet his and her cheeks pinked adorably.

Making a tsk-tsk sound, he adjusted his microscope. "Don't try that with me, love. You're a terrible liar. But I'll let ya off the hook for now."

They worked in silence for a while then Jennifer called a time out to get a drink. Carson opened a bottle for each of them, handing one to her. A moment later, she was chuckling. "Why is it that men don't seem to understand that the words 'don't touch anything' mean '_don't touch __anything_'?"

His grin mirroring hers, Carson sat on the end of the sofa, stretching his legs out in the seat effectively taking up all the room so Jennifer had to sit in the visitor's chair. "Oh, is _that_ what it means? I always thought it meant 'sit in an Ancient Control Chair. Nothing's gonna happen, RIGHT?'"

Jennifer gave him a droll laugh. "In _this_ case, it meant 'sit here and let's see if you have the gene.'"

~~O~~

Using a fork to move his food around the plate, John scowled and not for the first time since he'd come into the Mess Hall. It was way past 1900 and Angel had yet to arrive for their date though he understood that her patients came first and always would. He also understood that she wouldn't always be able to call to let him know what was going on. It was just aggravating that it had to happen on their first official date. He shoved his plate away and finished off his iced tea.

Across the room, he spotted Lorne sitting with Teyla. They seemed to be involved in a deep and thought-provoking conversation. Shrugging, he took his tray to the pass-through and went for a walk. And if his subconscious led him to the Jumper Bay again, well, so be it.

~~O~~

Evan carried his tray from the serving line, scanning the Mess Hall for an open seat. Sheppard was on the other side of the room alone glaring at the table. _Nope. Not there._

Choosing a seat near the exit, he sat down. Shaking out his napkin, he spread it across his lap and started eating. He suddenly felt himself being watched and looked up to see Teyla standing before him, tray in hand and a smile on her beautiful face.

"May I join you, Mr. Lorne?"

"Of course." Getting quickly to his feet, he came around the table and held her chair then resumed his seat. "Actually, it's Special Agent Lorne, but please, call me Evan."

She didn't need to turn her head to know at whom he was avoiding looking. It was obvious from his body language that he had antagonistic feelings toward someone. "Evan, I hope you do not mind that I mention this, but I have noticed you do not care much for John Sheppard."

One side of Evan's mouth lifted in a humorless smile. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only to me. And to him, I imagine. Would you care to talk about it? I'm a very good listener."

Weighing the pros and cons of telling the story to someone he barely knew, he decided to risk it. "Her name was Lee, a soldier, and he was responsible for her death."

"You cared very deeply for Lee." His eyes came up to meet hers and after a moment he nodded.

"Yes, I did. Still do."

Teyla chewed and swallowed before continuing. "And staying close to him is how you intend to acquire the full story of Lee's death."

"Uh…yeah."

Now his head was bowed, only the top of it visible, the brown hairs spiked as if he'd been running his hands through it. She didn't need to see his eyes to know that it had affected him greatly. The sadness coming from him flowed around her. "I can appreciate that you have a need to know the truth, but only a fool stores his past in the future. And you are _not_ a foolish man."

He looked at her again, his expression flat, showing no emotion though his eyes revealed everything. "You don't pull punches, do you?"

She was confused by his words. "Pull punches? I do not understand."

"It's an expression. Means you're not afraid to say something that needs to be said."

Teyla took a deep breath. "I have been a leader since my father died when I was but twenty-two summers of age. Pulling punches is not my way and will not keep my people safe from the Wraith or any other dangers that exist."

"Then that makes you an exceptional leader."

When he smiled, she felt a small flutter in her stomach and it nearly caused her to choke on the mouthful of water she'd just swallowed though she managed to turn it into a tiny clearing of her throat. "How can you know? We've only just met."

He shrugged and smiled again. "Just a feeling."

"Have these feelings ever been wrong?"

Unconsciously, his eyes found Sheppard as he got up and left through the patio door. "Now and then."

**Whitehorse**

**Yukon Territories**

**Canada**

David Magee zipped up his jacket and pulled a knitted cap over his head. The heat was up as far as it would go and he was still cold. He'd been in Whitehorse for weeks now and it had never come anywhere close to the freezing mark much less above it.

He'd contacted his father before traveling to his new position in this Godforsaken land but he'd been very busy and hadn't had time to return his call. _Calls._ He'd phoned Dad's office at least twice a week since his banishment.

His mind alternated placement of the blame for his current circumstances. Woolsey, Sheppard, Lorne, Melissa, Jennifer, Sheila. Anyone but himself.

Taking a seat in his Berkline leather recliner in front of the television, he opened his journal and began writing. Most of what was there had to do with the various scenarios he envisioned as he exacted revenge upon those who'd wronged him. Some involved doing physical harm, others dealt with public humiliation. All ended with him triumphant earning him praise from his father and a place at his side in the family corporation. As David was putting the finishing touches on his latest missive, the phone rang.

"Magee."

"_Is this David Arthur Magee, the son of Thomas Reginald Magee, CEO and President of Magee Industries?_"

"Yes, it is. Who is this?"

"_My name is Charles Johansson, your father's attorney. Before I tell you the reason for my call, I must verify your identity._"

Suddenly suspicious, David hesitated. "How do I know _you're_ who you say you are?"

"_Thomas created a security phrase for just such a case as this. I am to say 'I've eaten dinner, but haven't flossed yet today._'"

Rolling his eyes, David gave him the approved response. "You should do it after every meal or the dentist will be angry." He'd thought it was ridiculous but Dad worried that the media would attempt to get inside information on the company, its business practices, possible mergers, contract negations, and so forth.

"_Thank you, David. You have been fully verified as I assume I have been_." There was a long pause and David thought they'd been cut off. He was about to hang up when the man spoke. "_I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your father passed away this morning_."

**Atlantis**

**Early Evening**

Evan let himself into the main workout room relieved that it was unoccupied. He opened the lockers until he found the Bantos rods. Selecting a set, he removed his shoes and socks before moving out onto the mat, taking several deep cleansing breaths to clear his mind. His feet shoulder width apart he crossed his arms into the ready stance, drawing his left arm out to salute his invisible opponent. Taking one last breath, he began the routine.

So intense was his concentration that he didn't hear someone enter until he swung around, his rod whooshing through the air and barely missing Teyla's head.

"Whoa! Sorry!" Her smile made his heart skip several quick beats, his eyes dropping to the floor and back to her face. She was wearing a sleeveless midriff top that laced up the front and a skirt with alternating panels of some diaphanous material in greens and browns that swirled around her calves. But the most beguiling feature and this surprised him, was her bare feet. He'd never been one to be attracted to women's feet, but there was just something about hers that got to him. They were small, the bones showing through the skin and perfectly shaped. Her nails were manicured though unpolished, the toes curling as if in response to his thoughts.

"Your apology is unnecessary as I am the one who is intruding." She turned to go, stopping at the door to face him again. "Would you care for a partner for your workout?"

Bowing slightly, Evan let his mouth stretch into a smile. "I would indeed. But go easy on me. I'm new at this."

Teyla responded by pursing her lips and lifting one eyebrow. "Your people have a saying. _Not_ going to happen."

"We also have another saying." His eyes glowed with humor, both eyebrows lifting in a challenge. "Bring it on, sister!"

~~O~~

Teyla watched Evan run through the moves he'd learned the day before, his actions graceful, almost elegant, without being effeminate. She noted that he'd made alterations to the routine showing an instinctive feel for weapons he'd not used until coming to Atlantis. This knowledge touched not only her warrior's heart but her woman's heart as well, the part of her that found him appealing as more than just a sparring partner, creating warmth deep inside where none had touched her before today.

She challenged him and he accepted. After the salute, she held both rods in one hand down at her side. She circled to the left as he did the same waiting for her to make the first move. But she was patient and was soon rewarded for it when he swung the rod in his right hand in a circle as he stepped forward hoping to catch her off guard.

With little effort, she blocked his strike, stepping past and around behind him. She thought briefly of swatting him on the backside, but chose not to as they faced each other once again. Switching one of the rods to her left hand, she twirled them as if daring him to attack. And he did.

Both swung their arms, left, right, up, down, around, separate and together, countering every strike, moving so fast the rods were a blur. With each successful defense against her offense, the blue of his eyes darkened as if the two of them were engaged in a more…intimate form of interaction that had nothing to do with fighting and everything to do with being close to one another.

Allowing him a minor victory to build his confidence, she dropped her guard for a fraction of a second and he wasted no time in taking advantage. Before she knew it, he had her up against the wall, the rod in his right hand across her throat, the darkness of her skin contrasting with the fairness of his. His left forearm was pressed to her stomach and his knees on the outsides of her thighs though not touching holding her in place. Her hands still clutching her rods had somehow become trapped between them leaving her completely at his mercy.

**TBC**


	25. The Fool's Dance

**N/A:** This is where I usually thank ladygris for her help. I do very much appreciate everything she's done to help make this a better story by not letting me fall into clichés too often. However, I'm going to do something just a little different here.

This chapter of _Not a Hero_ is dedicated to my sweet little baby-cat, Miss Kitty. She passed away at the age of 19 from several causes, not the least of which was old age. She'd had a stroke a few weeks ago and another during the night. When I awoke on Sunday morning, she was paralyzed in her hindquarters. The doctor's diagnosis was stroke, high blood pressure, paralysis due to the stroke, and possibly cancer, a tumor or a blood clot. He could have made her live just a few months longer but I told him no. I would not force Miss Kitty to live beyond her natural lifespan just to make ME feel better or because I didn't want to let her go.

And so, at 8:45am CST, the morning of June 19, 2011 , Miss Kitty went to be with God.

I _do_ believe that there is a place in heaven for cats, dogs and other animals. If you have doubts, that is your prerogative and I would not presume to convince you otherwise. All I ask is that you read Matthew 11:28-30. He cares for the sparrows so why not the other animals too?

Rest in peace, Miss Kitty. You deserve it.

Love,

"Mom"

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 25**

**The Fool's Dance**

Teyla kept her eyes locked with Evan's, pupils dilated, nostrils flared and the rhythm of their breathing harmonized. Except for their hands and forearms, no other part of their bodies touched though with the insides of his feet grazing the outsides of hers it felt as if he'd embraced her. Not the usual sensations she received from a workout.

No words were spoken between them. None were necessary as he stepped back with a shrug of apology. She nodded acceptance and took up the ready stance again with him following her lead.

~~O~~

Evan mentally kicked himself. In the excitement of the moment, he'd nearly kissed Teyla while he had her trapped against the wall and he could tell from the look in her eyes that she'd not only have let him, she would have made her own demands. Not one to take liberties with women, he'd chosen not to press that advantage. Though from the way he felt at this moment, he knew he'd found the one who would do away with the tiny crush he had on Jennifer. Had already done so.

Now they were circling around the room again, watching and waiting for the moment when the other would make a mistake, provide an opening upon which to pounce.

Teyla brought both hands together, spinning to the right as he spun in the opposite direction, heir rods crashing against each other over and over. There was a sheen of perspiration on their exposed skin and they were both breathing hard when they came together, stopping not more than six inches apart.

Feeling a pull in her direction, he nearly gave in to the urge he had earlier, the longing to touch his lips to hers. But before his over stimulated body could override his reasoning brain, someone entered the room.

~~O~~

His footsteps echoed in the empty halls surrounding the workout rooms. He could have mitigated the sound but he wasn't in the forest with a hunting party to catch the evening meal. No, tonight he was hunting something else. Or rather some_one_ else.

Kanaan and Teyla had planned a visit to New Athos to celebrate the betrothal of their friends Aylanna and Janak. And now they would be late for the exchange of tokens. Normally, such a thing is done in private between two who have chosen to be joined. However, the people from Earth had brought their traditions with them, some of which the Athosians had chosen to adopt. Tonight's ceremony was known on Earth as an engagement party.

This was also the night he'd planned on bestowing Teyla with a token of his own though in the time honored tradition. His hand went into his pocket pulling out the necklace he'd had made for her. The blue-green stone half the length of his thumb was peppered with golden flecks and had a spot in brilliant red slightly off center that glowed when warmed by the skin. They'd found it while in the forest outside their village when they were children. The leather strip the stone was attached to had been the lacing from the shirt he'd worn the when he and Teyla had gone through the Rite of Ondine together. It is a rite of passage that Athosian children undergo at the age of fourteen summers which sets them on the path to adulthood. He'd loved her even then.

As he approached the workout room Teyla preferred, he heard the familiar sounds of Bantos fighting and wondered who she was with that would have made her forget the time. He stepped inside just as Teyla and a man he'd never seen before traded a barrage of blows. They stopped in the middle of the room, their Bantos rods locked between them. The man's eyes moved over Teyla's face, and Kanaan recognized the hunger in them. He felt it all too often himself when looking at Teyla.

"Am I interrupting?"

Startled, Teyla turned to him, her brown eyes dark with the fire of passion. Her chest rose and fell in time to her quick breathing, and she lowered her eyes, dousing the heat that made her exposed skin glow. Jealousy surged within him. Not once had she ever looked at him in that way, not even during the first night they'd become one.

~~O~~

Stepping back from Teyla, Evan saw a dark-haired man standing just inside the door glaring at him, at both of them. Ducking his head in embarrassment, he went to the bench where his towel and water bottle rested. He thought briefly of escaping through the other door but that would have been unforgivably rude. Swiping the cloth over his face, neck and upper chest, he waited for one of them to speak.

~~O~~

Teyla claimed her own towel and water then went to stand beside the taller man. "Kanaan, this is Special Agent Evan Lorne. He is a friend of Dr. Keller's from Earth visiting for a few days."

Kanaan barely spared Evan a glance. "It is well past the time we were to meet, Teyla."

"I am sorry. Please give me a few minutes to shower and change then we will go."

Casting a quick glance over her shoulder, she gave Evan a small smile of apology for Kanaan's rudeness.

~~O~~

When the couple had gone, and Evan had no doubt that they _were_ a couple, he popped the top on his water bottle and drank down the entire contents hoping to cool a body heated not only by the intense workout, but by what he and Teyla had generated together. Never in his life had he experienced such a powerful and instant attraction to a woman. He watched her walk away, shaking his head. "Wow! _What_ a woman!" he muttered under his breath.

A sound drew his attention to the fact that while he'd been otherwise occupied, Ronon had entered through the other door and had heard what he'd said.

Not commenting, Ronon twirled his quarterstaff, showing off yet not. "Wanna go?"

"Uh…" Evan remembered in time what Jennifer had said about Ronon, "…maybe another time." He stayed long enough to watch the big man performing the start of a complicated routine and hurried away with a shudder.

~~O~~

Kicking himself for thinking a woman like Teyla would be single he went to his quarters to shower and change.

_You are not a foolish man._

Her words rang in his head. Well, she was wrong. He'd just made a fool of himself in front of her…what? Boyfriend? Husband? Shaking his head, Evan switched on the cold water and tried to forget a certain sparring session.

~~O~~

John had seen Teyla and a tall man leave the gym together then a few minutes later Lorne came out of the same room and got into the transporter. All three appeared to be upset and he wondered what had happened. With a shrug, he continued on his way to the Jumper Bay.

He'd managed to convince one of the scientists who also had the gene to give him flying lessons. They'd gone out three times over the last day on the pretense of doing test flights to check repairs. Once out of the planet's atmosphere, they switched places and John took over, the thrill he'd gotten from flying choppers returning tenfold while at the controls of the Jumper. He felt…free, as if he'd finally found a place in the universe he truly belonged.

His feet stopped moving when the sound of music reached his ears. He followed it to Atlantis' version of a bar. A group of about ten men and women were in the middle of an informal jam session. He watched from the doorway until the song ended then made his presence known.

"Hey. Come on in." The leader was a tall man with dark blonde hair, a friendly grin on his face and one hand extended for a handshake. "Sergeant Chuck Campbell, RCAF."

"John Sheppard. I'm a friend of Dr. Keller's." He nodded at the Taylor acoustic guitar. "Do you mind?"

"No, of course not." Chuck let John get a feel for the instrument while he introduced the others. Like Atlantis, it was a mixture of military and civilians.

"I haven't played in a while." He thought a moment and began playing the opening to one of his favorite Johnny Cash tunes, _Can't Help But Wonder Where I'm Bound._ It wasn't as well-known as _Folsom Prison Blues_ or _The Man in Black_ but he liked that the lyrics really spoke to where he was at right now with his life…and with Angel.

The group enjoyed it so he played another, _Ring of Fire_. Chuck picked up his Gibson Les Paul electric guitar, switched it on and played along. One by one, the rest joined in until all were playing and singing along. When this one ended, he pondered on the fact that he'd not had this much fun without a stack of poker chips in front of him in a very long time. And he _liked_ it!

~~O~~

After his shower, Evan dressed and left his room, headed…well, he didn't know where. His appetite, normally gnawing a hole in his backbone after a workout, was only marginally active at the moment. He tried not to think about what had happened but his libido kept begging for attention.

When he reached the corner, he heard a male voice shouting in anger, and a female voice sounding calm and reasonable. A moment later, Kanaan stormed past without seeing him. He stopped beside the incinerator, taking something from his pocket. Evan couldn't see it clearly but it looked like a necklace. Kanaan stared at it for a long time, reached for the incinerator door, pulling back at the last second. He shoved the object back into his pocket and strode quickly away.

It seemed that he'd just seen the tail end of a breakup and felt responsible. When Kanaan had arrived, he and Teyla had been about to…

_Face it, Lorne, that workout wasn't __about__ fighting. It was __foreplay__. And if her ex-whatever hadn't come in, you and she would be going at it hot and heavy right now without bothering to get a room though hopefully I'd have had the presence of mind to at least lock the door and disable the security cams._

His libido and what was left of his appetite shriveled up to nothing but his thirst was still great so he headed for the Mess Hall. Jennifer was there with some of her staff. One was a petite Asian woman named Marie. She had the most amazing head of black hair he'd ever seen, aside from Doc Adams. It reached just below her shoulders, curling up on the ends. And a honey blonde doctor with a perpetual smile. Cole. He didn't know her first name.

He was invited to join them and he accepted, eventually laughing and joking with them, even telling them how he'd ended up with the SGC. Not only did they laugh at his stories, the women laughed at him too whenever he didn't get one of their inside jokes about life in Pegasus. He didn't mind. If you couldn't laugh at yourself, why bother to find humor in others?

Cole and Marie eventually left Evan and Jennifer alone sharing a companionable silence, but he knew she could tell he had something on his mind.

"What's eating you so bad you're not eating, Evan?"

He stopped with his glass halfway to his mouth and returned it to the table. "Not much escapes your notice, does it?" She crossed her arms and waited for him to answer. "I witnessed something today and was hoping you'd explain. If it's not a taboo subject."

"Shoot."

Evan described the scene in the hallway with Kanaan and before he'd even finished, her expression had changed to sadness.

"From what you're saying, it looks as if Kanaan had planned on giving Teyla a token." His expression begged for a more detailed explanation. "Many of the cultures in Pegasus have a tradition where you bestow a token upon the one you love and wish to create a family with. They're usually given in private and should be something that can be worn most if not at all times." She sighed. "Once the token has been exchanged and accepted, that person is now spoken for and that fact can be readily seen by all."

_It's worse than I thought. They were gonna get married._

"Evan? You okay?"

"Maybe." Settling his features into his customary composed expression, he pushed away from the table. "Think I'll take a walk. Um, where would you suggest?"

"Outside. The pier is beautiful at night. As long as the _Daedalus_ isn't landing."

~~O~~

Teyla sat cross-legged on the floor of her room. Only the glow of a few candles and just a bit of silvery moonlight illuminated the darkness as she meditated. Beside her was a knife that had once belonged to her father. It was the token she'd planned on bestowing upon Kanaan to seal their relationship. Now it was a reminder of what would never be.

The walk back to her quarters with Kanaan had been silent, neither of them speaking until the door had closed isolating them in a cocoon of solitude. What had started out as a discussion of their plans for the evening had turned into an argument. He accused her of wanting to have a relationship with Evan other than platonic, going so far as to inquire if there had been others previously. By the time all was said and done, Kanaan had ended their romance _and_ their lifelong friendship.

She was upset with the outcome but not nearly as much as she thought she should be and meditation removed any lingering anger and resentment. Something Kanaan had never been able to do. Oh, he could clear his mind enough to be able to speak without shouting, but no more than that. He clung to hurts and affronts, keeping them close as if he'd be thought of as weak by letting them go.

Teyla could not live that way. Some hurts were meant to be kept but most were not worth troubling your mind with them. She let the hurt and anger go though she had yet to forgive Kanaan…or herself.

Unwillingly, her mind returned to Evan and their sparring match. She'd been overcome with something deeper than anything she felt for Kanaan. Even now she swayed at the tug of attraction pulling her. Somehow she just knew if she left her room and started walking, she'd end up wherever Evan was.

But she stayed, sitting in the middle of the floor, hands resting on her knees, eyes closed and hoping Evan's face wouldn't appear in her dreams. She'd just about achieved her goal when the intercom beeped.

"_Teldy to Teyla._"

"Go ahead."

"_Vega's been injured and I need a replacement for an offworld mission. You up for it?_"

Now a different form of excitement made its way through her and she welcomed it. "I am indeed."

"_Gate Room. Ten minutes. Full tactical gear_."

~~O~~

John watched Lorne stalk off before approaching Angel's table. He turned a chair around and straddled it setting his glass on the table and resting his arms on the back. "What's with Lorne?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"He looks like someone stole his bike."

"You're imagining things, John." She knew what was going on but wouldn't gossip about her friend with his partner. "Still hanging out in the Jumper Bay hoping someone will let you fly?"

Rubbing the back of his neck with one hand to hide the guilt, he reached for his glass with the other. "No. Ran into a guy named Chuck and his merry band of men and women. He let me use his guitar and I sat in on a few songs. What?" The last was in response to the odd look on her face.

"Be careful around Chuck."

"He's harmless. Plays a mean guitar though." John made air guitar motions with both hands.

"Oh, yeah. Chuck's the _best_. There isn't anyone on the base who doesn't like him. Well, except Kavanagh, but then he's…never mind."

Reaching over to swipe one of the cookies on Angel's plate, he took a bite. "Then why should I avoid him?"

Crossing her arms, Angel leaned back in her chair. "I'm not saying forever. Just…for now. He, uh, well, he's sort of the expedition bookie. If there's something going on that people are willing to place a bet on, you can be sure he's at the center of it. Everyone knows about it but they leave him alone because it keeps up moral. So just watch yourself."

Tossing a glance over his shoulder, he saw that they were nearly alone in the big room. The others were involved in eating, reading, or talking. Standing, he circled the table to sit next to her, one hand on the back of her chair. He lifted a lock of her hair rubbing it between his fingers. "I'd rather watch _you_."

~~O~~

An hour later Jennifer let herself into her room, the fingers of her right hand pressed to her tingling lips. John had held her hand as they walked through the arboretum. Something she was certain he'd never done before. The path they'd walked made a sharp turn so that you came suddenly on fountains that bubbled and gurgled happily. On Earth, there might have been a koi pond but here in the lost city a series of fountains were set around the edge of the clearing, the sprays squirting in time to a tune known only to the Ancients who'd built it.

John led her to a bench where they had the perfect view, slipped his arm around her and together they just sat there watching the water. Eventually, she put her head on his shoulder, his arm tightening around her in response.

Not a word had been said the entire time they were there and he never once indicated he wanted to kiss her though she knew he did. And that he didn't when he had the perfect opportunity to illustrated that he was learning to control his impulses. As long as he continued to attend the GA meetings and stay away from casinos, things could and would get better between them.

And tonight was a good start.

The sun was already down when they went in and they spent part of the time just looking up at the stars as they came out. One of the moons had just started to peek over the edge of the glass ceiling when he nudged her off his shoulder, took her hand again and led her to her room. A good thing too, because she'd been about to fall asleep. He kissed her at the door, just a sweet touch of his lips to hers with his hands holding her shoulders, a quick "good night" and he was gone.

They talked all the time but tonight proved they could be quiet together too.

Turning on the bathroom light, Jennifer saw her face in the mirror. She wore a goofy grin and her cheeks were stained pink as if she'd been working out or…

No! She refused to say it. _If I don't say it, it won't be true._

Passing her hand over the sensor, she filled the sink with cool water. Scooping up a double handful, she splashed it on her face over and over. Feeling around for the towel, her hand finally gripped the terrycloth and used it to dry her face.

Feeling a little better, she glanced at herself in the mirror again. Except that the hairs around her face were now wet, she looked just as she had before…like a woman in love.

**The Next Day**

**In The Gym**

Though they hadn't planned it, Evan and John ended up in the workout room at the same time. With a shrug, they took Bantos rods from the equipment locker and began sparring.

Because John wasn't as adept at it as he, Evan held back a little. Okay, not at all. Before long they were both sweating and panting. John called a water break and they sat on the bench without speaking.

Just as they'd returned to the mat and began again, Ronon walked in as if he owned the place. He stood off to one side leaning on the wall and laughing at them. When John had enough he called another time out. "What so funny, _Chewy?_"

The Satedan shrugged his massive shoulders. "Nothing."

Evan was more than a little annoyed as well. "Then show us what _you_ got."

Ronon pushed off the wall, picked up his Bantos rods and stepped onto the mat, John and Evan again taking seats on the bench. They watched with fascination as Ronon put himself through a much more complicated routine than they'd been taught. It included rolling on the floor and jumping into the air. They could easily picture him killing Wraith.

When finished, he wiped his face with a towel and waited for them to comment.

John stood up, tossed his towel on the bench and glared up at the big man. "Impressive. But how are you at taking on _live_ opponents?"

Evan came to stand next to his partner in a show of solidarity. Two against one.

With a nod, Ronon returned to the mat. Evan and John joined him, all three in the ready stance. However, Ronon didn't bother with the salute. He burst into action, immediately going all out.

**TBC**


	26. Storm and Tempest

**A/N:** Thanks so much to Shadows-of-Realm for his assistance with this chapter. Normally, ladygris is my Beta but she's been busy with RL issues that take precedence over my needs/wants. We all deserve time to ourselves now and then.

So, with that said, here's the next chapter of _Not a Hero_.

Namaste,

Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 26**

**Storm and Tempest**

Ronon drew attention at the best of the times, mostly due to his tall stature, dreadlocks and formidable expression. Today, he was being stared at for another reason. He exited the transporter, turning immediately in the direction of the main Infirmary. That wasn't an unusual sight. He often ended up there after an intense workout in which his sparring partner got in a lucky shot.

No, this time it wasn't himself that was in need of medical attention. The big man had Lorne slung over one shoulder and was dragging Sheppard by the back of his shirt. Both were unconscious.

Before the medical personnel could move to assist, he dropped Sheppard, laid Lorne on a bed then picked Sheppard up and laid him on the one next to it.

"What happened?" Jennifer's voice rang through the emergency care area stopping Ronon before he could leave. She made quick assessments of both men to ascertain that they were at least breathing, gestured for additional assistance then stalked over to Ronon, standing toe to toe with him. "Ronon! _What_ did you _do_ to them?"

"What they wanted." He turned to leave, but Jennifer's hand on his arm stopped him again.

"I find it hard to believe they _wanted_ to be beaten unconscious."

He shrugged and smirked. "They went down too easy. Lorne dislocated his shoulder. I put it back. Sheppard hit the wall. Might have a broken rib." His weight shifted as he waited for her to digest the information, but all she did was glare, turn and stalk away to tend to her patients.

~~O~~

When John finally regained consciousness, he opened his eyes, immediately shutting them again to block out the brightness of the Infirmary lights. His head felt like, well, like someone had pummeled him into unconsciousness. Reaching up to rub the ache just inside his hairline, he encountered the unmistakable feel of stitches. The surrounding area felt tender and was probably bruised as well.

Trying again to open his eyes, he managed to achieve his objective though it hurt to do so. Looking down the length of his body, he saw his right foot wrapped in an elastic bandage and elevated on a pillow. A groan burst out of him when he tried to sit up because his ribs hurt like hell. "Oh, crap. What happened?"

Angel hurried to his side. "_Ronon_ happened."

With an effort, John was able to focus on his surroundings though his head still hurt, beating in time with the beeps from the VS monitor.

"I _did_ warn you."

Using the controls to raise the head of the bed, John watched Angel for some sign that she had compassion for his condition. He did _not_ like the glare. If there was a photo next to "looks that kill" in the dictionary, that would be it. "What? No sympathy?" His throat felt as if he needed to gargle, a side effect from the pain meds.

From the neighboring bed, just as groggy and for the same reason, Evan said, "Don't bother. She's overdrawn at the sympathy bank."

Angel scoffed. "It's not that I don't have _concern_ for your injuries. Doctors are foremost supposed to do no harm, but that you went up against Ronon when I advised you not to, which was for your own good by the way, well, you deserve everything you got."

"Isn't that a little harsh, Angel?" John automatically used her nickname forgetting for the moment that they weren't alone.

"Maybe you should have sympathy for _me_, Sheppard." Evan was scowling at him. "This is my second run-through of the I-told-you-so lecture."

Rolling her eyes, Jennifer left them alone.

Looking closer at his partner, John saw his left arm in a sling and a purple bruise shining brightly on his left cheek, the shape suspiciously similar to the end of a Bantos rod. "What happened to you?"

"Dislocated shoulder, wrenched back, bumps, bruises. You?"

"Head, ribs, ankle. Oh, and pride."

"Yeah. That too."

After a long moment of silence, John said, "We should've listened."

"I know." There was another long pause. "While we were waiting for you to come out of it, she told me I have that gene too."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Now we can both use the Ancient tech."

Crossing his arms, John huffed in annoyance. _Great! Every time I come out on top, he comes back at me with something new. Wonder whose is stronger. And why __he__ woke up first._

**Area 52**

Tobias Ritter settled quickly into his position at Area 52 though maybe _unsettled_ was a better word.

He spent the first couple of days deleting files from the computer in the office that had once been Magee's. Most of them were a compilation of errors that Magee felt had been committed by Richard Woolsey and the staff. He read some of it gritting his teeth at the venom with which he'd written the reports. Magee particularly hadn't liked someone named Sheppard for some reason. Nor did he care for his partner, a man named Lorne, but the dislike he had for him wasn't as fervent as that for Sheppard.

Thinking hard, the name Sheppard rang a bell but it was distant and barely registered. Shrugging, he made a mental note to have IT go in and completely remove the files he'd deleted, especially the ones on some of the female staff.

Tobias had been raised to respect women no matter what. The only proviso was if they were trying to do harm to him or someone else. In that case, he'd attempt to subdue them and if that didn't work, only then would he use any means necessary to protect the greatest number of people possible.

A knock on the open door preceded Sheila entering. He started to stand but she motioned for him to remain seated. She held several objects in both hands which she laid on his desk. One was the size of an iPhone and the second had a curved earpiece with a very thin wire that ended in a small microphone. The third and fourth were a shoulder holster, a .44 Remington Magnum and several magazines of ammo. "Mornin', Toby. Here's your company phone. This headset can be used at any SGC facility. I got you new ones so you wouldn't have to use Magee's old ones. Who _knows_ where they might have been. And of course, your company-issue weapon. Sorry it took so long to get everything."

"Not a problem. And thank you, ma'am."

Stopping in the doorway, Sheila turned back. "Do me a favor, Toby?"

"Of course."

"_Please_ stop calling me _ma'am_." She said it with a small smile.

Tobias returned the smile. "As you wish…Sheila. Um…" he glanced at her feeling a little awkward. "May I ask a favor of _you_?"

"You don't like it when I call you Toby?"

"It's not that. It's just that no one has called me by that nickname since Great-Grandmother Cecilia on Father's side passed away. After that, I was called Tobias at Mother's insistence."

Sheila clasped her hands in front of her. "And which do _you_ prefer?"

Thinking about his great-grandmother had made him nostalgic. "I'd be pleased to have you call me Toby."

"As you wish." She repeated his words back to him and he grinned in reply. "Mr. Woolsey wants to see you at 1400 to go over the personnel files of prospective new staff members. His office."

"I'll be there."

**Atlantis**

**Infirmary**

**Nighttime**

Unable to sleep because of his sore ribs and his refusal to take any more pain meds, John sat up reading, the curtain drawn between the beds for privacy and so he wouldn't disturb his neighbors. The rustle of bedclothes reached his ears but he didn't think much about it because Lorne had been restless all night. John was reaching for his water glass when the curtain parted and his partner came to stand next to his bed, his eyes wide and unfocused.

"Lorne? You okay?"

"Mom? Courtney? Why're the lights out?"

The tone and inflection in Lorne's voice were that of someone much younger. "Lorne?" His partner walked away without responding. John tossed back the covers, grabbed the cane he used in place of crutches and followed.

Female voices up ahead drew Lorne in their direction. He stopped, turned his head side to side as if searching for something then headed for Angel's office. Inside, Angel and Dr. Cole were talking. They fell silent when Lorne came to stand in the doorway, the hand of his uninjured arm holding the doorjamb.

"Mom? Sis?"

The smiles that had graced the faces of both women disappeared telling John they knew what was happening just as he figured it out. Lorne was sleepwalking.

John reached out to lay a hand on Lorne's shoulder but drew back when Angel shook her head. She came around the desk to stand close to Lorne without touching him.

"Agent Lorne?" Cole deliberately kept her voice soft. His head turned toward her, a deep frown creasing his features.

"I ordered Panda Dragon, Mom. Come downstairs and eat." He paused as if listening. "But you need to eat something. Court and I need you, and starving yourself won't bring dad back."

With a smile, Cole said, "Sure, honey. I'll be right down."

To John, Angel mouthed, "Go back to bed. We'll take care of it."

"But…"

"C'mon, sis. I got you that gross bok choy and shitake mushrooms with lobster sauce you like so much." His tone was coaxing.

Angel took Lorne by his good arm and turned him around, leading him in the direction of his bed. "Thanks, big brother. Let's eat before it gets cold." Cole followed and a moment later, so did John. He'd never seen someone walk in their sleep before and it freaked him out a little. It also gave him a little more insight into his partner's past.

Once Lorne was back in bed and truly asleep once again, Angel raised the safety rails then came to John's side. "I know you see this as an opportunity to razz Evan. But John, I'm asking you as a favor to me, do _not_ mention it to him. Not _ever_."

He nodded and got back into bed. After Angel left, he turned out the light but lay awake for a long time before falling asleep.

~~O~~

Back in the office again, Amanda Cole mock glared at her friend. "How come _you_ were the sister and _I_ had to be the mother?"

Jennifer shrugged. "Maybe even asleep he realizes that our relationship is more like brother and sister than anything romantic. You were 'mom' just because you were with the 'sister'." Bringing the computer out of power save, she went back to work. Or rather tried to. "Where were we?"

Amanda sighed, flopping onto the sofa along the front window. "You were just about to tell me all about that hunky John Sheppard."

"Was not."

"Was too." Scooting around to get comfortable, Amanda crossed her knees, laced her fingers and hooked them around the top knee, a smirk twisting her lips. "Answer _one_ question for me."

Throwing down her pen, Jennifer knew they weren't going to get any work done until Amanda's curiosity was satisfied. "Fine. But just one."

"We both know what they say about the size of a man's feet and how it relates to the size of his..."

Jennifer rushed to interrupt. "That's a _myth_ and you know it!"

That was just the opening Amanda needed. The smirk turned into a grin. "You peeked!"

Her friend's mouth opened and closed, pink flowing across her face, down her neck, stopping only when it reached the collar of her uniform shirt. "No. But I've seen enough of men's…business to know it's not always true."

"But you were his _doctor_. Surely you sneaked a look at least once." A look of indignation was aimed at Amanda but it only made her grin harder.

With all the indignation she could muster, Jennifer said, "I'll have you know I _never_ peek…unless it's in the line of duty."

"So?" Amanda waited but Jennifer didn't respond, keeping her eyes determinedly on her computer. "Throw me a _bone_ here, Jen. I haven't been on a date since…well, it's been a while. Please?" She stuck her lower lip out and pouted, her hazel eyes big and round and pleading like a puppy's. Jennifer had never been able to resist that particular expression from her friend and she knew it.

A long drawn out sigh of submission ended on a growl. "If you _must_ know…" she jumped up, closed and locked her office door then sat next to Amanda, "…I _did_ peek…once. In the line of duty, you understand."

"And?" Amanda said eagerly.

The flush deepened, her eyes meeting those of her friend with a smile. "It's _true_. At least for him."

"I _knew_ it! And what about that other slice of hotness, Evan? Is it true for him too?"

Jennifer's eyes widened, her mouth dropping open. "What? NO! Ewww! That'd be like peeking at my _brother_. It'd just be…ewww!"

Amanda did her best to keep it together but she lost the battle, laughter spilling out of her to fill the room. Jennifer made an attempt at a glare but she too began to laugh.

~~O~~

Evan made his way carefully down the three steps to the Gate Room floor. He'd been waiting all morning for Sheppard to make some smartass comment about the sleepwalking episode Jennifer told him about but he'd been suspiciously quiet. The cause of his nighttime stroll was known and with a little coaxing he'd told Jennifer the story without going into great detail.

His back still ached as did his shoulder and various other areas that he didn't want to think about. A medic had tried to get him to ride in a wheelchair and he'd almost given in until Sheppard had refused to be pushed.

Beside him, Jennifer stayed at Sheppard's side as he limped along with the use of a cane. Both men carried their duffle bags, the ends of a set of Bantos rods sticking out the zipper of each, gifts from Ronon. The Satedan had come to the Infirmary the preceding evening and, without a word, had thrown them on the foot of the beds, waited for them to be acknowledged and left. It hadn't taken long for the partners to be told that the rods were _not_ an apology.

On Sateda, a weapon given in this manner, in public, from one warrior to another, the victor to the fallen, they were a challenge. By accepting the gift, they'd accepted the unspoken challenge for a rematch the next time they crossed paths though they hadn't known it at the time. After the dents Ronon had put in their egos and their bodies, had they known the consequences, they still would have accepted.

Jennifer wasn't happy about it, Evan could tell, but she didn't say anything. Just shook her head as she ordered medics to accompany them to their rooms and help them pack if necessary. Both men declined…loudly.

Now here they were the next day about to return to the planet of their birth and Evan had already said his good-byes. All but one.

On three separate occasions he'd started to call Teyla but stopped before activating his headset. Her room was close to his and the thought briefly crossed his mind that he should knock on her door and say it in person. But that didn't seem like such a good idea considering their previous encounter and the aftermath.

"Chuck, please dial Earth."

"Yes, Dr. Keller."

Out the corner of his eye, Evan saw Sheppard hobbling toward the event horizon, stopping for one last look. Evan did the same, letting his eyes scan the enormous room and the faces of the friends he'd made while here. However, one particular face stood out from all the rest.

There on the catwalk above, Teyla was watching, both hands gripping the rail. When their eyes met, he felt again the flare of awareness though they were separated by more than just the width of the Gate Room. She nodded once and he returned the gesture just as he felt a sharp pain in his left shoulder. It had been dislocated during the abortive sparring session and was still very sore. Jennifer had offered pain meds but he refused them because they made his mind fuzzy and he wanted to remember everything, even the pain. Especially the pain. "Ow! The hell'd you do _that_ for?"

Sheppard leaned on his cane, nodding at the Stargate. "Stop mooning over that incredibly beautiful and sexy woman and come _on_."

"Mooning?" Evan's forehead creased in annoyance that his partner could read him so well. He followed Sheppard into the wormhole and exited on Earth. But Sheppard wasn't done with this particular form of harassment.

~~O~~

Teyla watched as Evan swept the room, his blue eyes taking in everything, committing it all to memory just in case he wasn't able to return. She'd heard rumors that the expedition might be closed down, its personnel reassigned, and often thought about what would happen to her and her people if that were to happen. She didn't know if he'd heard the same rumors but there was no sense in worrying until something definite had been decided.

A small intake of breath caught in her throat when Evan's eyes met hers. Just before he turned away, she felt the same flare of desire and suddenly she realized that an opportunity she might never have again was slipping through her fingers. To keep from calling out to him, she gripped the rail even tighter.

~~O~~

"You. Teyla." John continued to speak as they came out the other side of the Stargate.

"No idea what you're talking about." Evan huffed, ignoring the looks they were getting from the techs in the Control Room at their condition. "What's with you and Jennifer?"

"Excuse me?"

"You. Jennifer."

"Nothing's _with_ us." John's response had started in the Gate Room and was completed on the bridge of the _Daedalus_.

The technician nodded a greeting while she entered the co-ordinates for their next destination. As they arrived in the main waiting room of Area 52, Evan faked a sneeze. "Denial! Sorry. Must be something in the air."

Fumbling his access card from his pocket, John refused to respond to the statement. The cane slipped from his hand just as he was swiping the card through the reader. Holding onto the door with one hand and balancing on his good foot, he reached for the cane only to find that Evan had already retrieved it, holding it out to him. He snatched it from him, holding the door until Evan was in a position to do so himself and together they made their way slowly down the hall toward the employee wing.

"Think I'll get something to eat," Evan said when his stomach grumbled.

John glanced sideways at his partner. "Me too. As long as we don't go anywhere _near_ the gym."

**Several Weeks Later**

**San Francisco**

**The Downing Home**

"Evan! Why didn't you call? The boys are with Randy's parents for the weekend."

"Sorry, Court. It was last minute." Evan hugged his sister in the doorway of her home then followed her to the kitchen as she bustled around getting them a drink. He'd have helped but Courtney had told him more than once to stay out of the way so he just took a seat at the island counter. She set two glasses out and poured strawberry lemonade. He took a sip of the tart drink and set it in exactly the same spot covering the condensation ring already formed.

"I'm glad you're here. The kids made you something." She produced a shoe box with a slit in the top, painted and decorated with pictures of the family on the top and three of the sides. On the fourth side, in glittery paint, the boys had written "We love you, Uncle Evan."

Evan was touched that his nephews had taken the time to make him this…whatever it was. He set it beside him and took another drink.

"So what brings you all the way from that super-secret job of yours?" Courtney was a few inches shorter than he with the same brown hair and bright blue eyes but where he was controlled and calm, she was open and free with her emotions.

"I wanted to ask you…well, it's about…" he trailed off, watching a drop of condensation make its way down the side of his glass. "I met a woman and…"

"Wait! You met a woman? When? Where? Tell me about her!"

He'd seldom talked about the women he dated nor had he ever brought one home and laughed at her eagerness to hear about this one. "We met at work…sort of. She's about your height, dark hair and eyes, very athletic. We, uh…she and I…what I mean is…"

She stopped him by taking his hand. "That's enough. I love you, but talking with your _brother_ about…you know, that kind of stuff is just…"

"Icky?" With a grin he used one of her favorite words from when they were kids.

"_Very _icky."

"You're right. Sorry I brought it up. So what's going on with you? Seeing anyone yet?" Before Courtney could answer, his phone beeped. He checked the caller ID and frowned. "Hold that thought." His thumb pressed a key. "Lorne…Okay. Give me two minutes." Evan downed the last of his drink, put the glass in the sink and headed for the front door. "Sorry, sis. Gotta go. Love you. Give my love to the boys and Randy's folks." They hugged and he kissed her cheek before hurrying out.

Belatedly, she realized he'd forgotten his gift from the boys and rushed out to catch him. She looked up and down the street but only saw the usual cars, trucks, minivans and SUVs. It had only been a few seconds and he was already gone. Back inside, she placed the box on the foyer table. "People come and go so quickly here."

**Lake Okeechobee****, Florida**

Evan had never been to Lake Okeechobee or any part of Florida. Like San Francisco, it was warm and humid this time of year. And he didn't know how Sheppard had done it but somehow he'd managed to have the Dodge Ram four-door pick-up transported with them for this mission.

They'd been sent to check out a report of aliens living in a remote area not far from the lake. After a short investigation they'd located the "aliens", a family of circus performers, a trapeze act. The family had left the travelling circus to settle down, to try to be normal for a while.

Sheppard and Evan apologized for bothering them and wished them well.

Now, at Sheppard's insistence, they were taking a long drive up the coast. Evan had to admit that, while traveling via transporter or wormhole was incredibly cool, taking a long, leisurely drive had its upside as well. He was glad he hadn't missed the incredible scenery along the gulf coast. At least until the sky started turning an ugly gray, the wind picked up considerably and the waves began increasing in size causing whitecaps to form.

**St. Petersburg,**** Florida**

**Verde Point Hotel**

Switching from channel to channel, John finally located a weather report. He hadn't paid attention to what was going on around them until it started looking like it was going to rain. It was still hurricane season and one was headed for their area. Instead of having themselves transported back to Area 52, they decided to find somewhere to wait out the storm. When they reached Fort Myers, John turned the driving over to Lorne and promptly fell asleep in the passenger seat.

~~O~~

The cab of the truck was quiet, the radio having been turned off. Not long after Sheppard had fallen asleep, Evan was startled by his partner calling out. Many of the words were incoherent though a few came through clearly enough for Evan to figure out that he was having a milder version of the nightmare that had awakened everyone in the employee overnight area the first night he'd been at Area 52. And the words he was able to discern caused little threads of doubt to unwind in his brain. Doubt about Sheppard's culpability in the chopper crash.

Evan knew for a fact that Sheppard had been flying the chopper, but now he mistrusted the court's ruling that he'd disobeyed orders to do so. That Sheppard hadn't even defended himself on that issue had seemed to prove his guilt. He'd simply said he was sorry and refused to say more.

Grief at the loss of Lee had kept Evan from questioning it at the time. It was the action of a man who believed himself guilty but there was more to it than he'd originally thought. He hoped that soon Sheppard would trust him enough to tell him the entire story.

Rain began to fall hard and fast with the wind picking up speed as well. As soon as he turned the radio back on, he heard the warning of an approaching storm. The eye would make landfall north of their location but that didn't mean there wasn't a danger.

The lights of an old hotel beckoned so he pulled into the nearly empty parking lot screeching to a stop. The jolt woke Sheppard. "Whas goin' on?"

Reaching into the back seat, Evan handed over his duffle bag then reached for his own. "We gotta get under cover. Hurricane Neville is making landfall in the next couple of hours."

Peering out into the driving rain, visibility almost nil, Sheppard stared at the front of the faded green hotel. "Did you have to pick the Bates Motel as a refuge?"

Huffing, Evan faced front in his seat. "We're lucky to have found this one. All the rest were boarded up and deserted."

Putting on a false happy face, Sheppard grabbed the door handle. "It's perfect. On three…one…"

"…two…"

"…three!"

Both men jumped out, slammed the truck doors and ran as fast as they could to the front of the hotel. Just as they arrived, the doors were opened from the inside then slammed shut behind them. They dropped their bags on the mat and accepted towels. After drying their hair and faces, they wiped as much of the water from their clothes as possible. Once the wet towels were taken from them, they took a look at their surroundings.

~~O~~

A group of people were seated around the lobby watching them with open curiosity. One by one they scanned the faces of the occupants. A man in his mid-forties stood behind the desk, obviously the manager or owner. The woman who'd given them the towels was the same age and the teenaged boy sitting on the bottom step of the staircase bouncing a basketball between his feet had to be their son because he was a younger version of the man with hair the same color as the woman's. Two women in their twenties kept flipping through their magazines as if bored with the whole situation. Every few minutes they would take out their cell phones, check for service, scowl and replace them in the pockets of their cutoffs. Two older men sat on the sofa while a third, a little younger than the others, lounged against the far wall, a bottle of beer in one hand.

All were strangers to John…except one.

The man leaning on the wall had the stature and bearing of recently retired career military and was very well known to the former Air Force pilot. He'd been John's commander during his tour in Afghanistan. It was his testimony at the trial that had sealed John's fate, sending him on a downward spiral.

**TBC**


	27. Some Things Just Happen

**A/N:** If you would like to see the hotel this one is sort of based on, Google "Vinoy Park Hotel" on Wikipedia. Before it was renovated a few years back, it had sat empty and rundown for a very long time. My brother and his buddies were once arrested for trespassing on the property when he was about 16. They were released on their own recognizance and told not to do it again or the cops would call mom. I wasn't able to find photos from that time though.

Many thanks to ladygris for giving this a read-through and commenting on various aspects. I'm especially thankful to have her as a Grammar Nazi. Being one myself, I'm glad to know I have company. And she always has great ideas…especially the sleep-bomb.

Thanks also go out to Skye Graham. One particular aspect of this story was her idea. Actually, I did have the idea a while ago but didn't remember it. Thanks for helping jog my aging memory and for that left ear, Skye!

FYI - This chapter is a crossover with NCIS.

Namaste,

Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 27**

**Some Things Just Happen**

The wallpaper in the lobby was so faded that the original color had been lost. To the right of the door stood a grouping of sofas, armchairs, end tables, coffee tables and lamps. The furnishings were covered in tropical prints with shades of green as the dominant color, and were a bit threadbare in places but clean. Area rugs, also in a tropical design, covered strategic places on the hard wood floors, all worn by thousands of feet walking on them. To the left, the front desk stood out in the same light wood as the flooring. Behind it were the old fashioned cubbyholes with actual keys instead of electronic cards.

Straight ahead, a curved staircase led to the upper floors with a set of elevators to their right. If one continued past the elevators one would eventually encounter the dining room and bar. Or so the signs said. A hallway to the right of the front desk led to the first floor rooms, a vending area, the employee area and maybe even the pool. Again, according to the signs.

Snatching up his bag, John headed for the front desk, ignoring for now the blast from the past. "We need two rooms please."

"What're you fellas doing out in this weather?"

Lorne had joined John, his bag hitched over his shoulder. "Just passing through. Uh, rooms?"

"Oh, yeah." The brown haired man handed them each a card to fill out while he chose keys from behind him. He glanced at their names as he slid the keys across the desk. "Mr. Sheppard, you'll be in 402, and Mr. Lorne, 417. Normally we have a live band on the veranda but they canceled on us. Not that I blame them. Afraid the best we can do for entertainment is television, magazines, books, radios and some board games. TV and radios will only last as long as the generator holds out. Likewise the food situation. You boys can help yourself to whatever you want in the bar and kitchen. On the house."

With a smile, Lorne put the man's mind at ease. "Thanks. Gonna wait out the storm then be on our way."

"Good luck with that. My name's Waligorski. Me 'n the wife and our son live onsite. You need anything, just dial zero."

John turned for the stairs, his way blocked by one of the older men. Thankfully, not his former commander. This man was much older. He wore faded slacks with suspenders, a button down shirt that had seen better days but was clean and a fishing vest. "Come to fish, boys?"

Quelling the urge to just push the man out of his way as he once would have done, John mentally counted to ten, allowing his expression to turn amenable. "Sorry, old timer. We were headed north when the storm caught us off guard."

Grinning, the old man winked and tapped the side of his nose. "Oh, you're fishin' alright. But it ain't for tarpon, snook or redfish like me 'n my pals."

"What do _you_ think we're here for, sir?" Lorne asked.

Leaning forward slightly, he made a show of sniffing the air. "You're _cops_. Federal, if I don't miss m' guess."

Exchanging a glance with Lorne, John made an imperceptible shrug. "What makes you think we're cops?"

"Huh! I can smell a fed from a country mile. _Against_ the wind."

~~O~~

Jackson Gibbs had made the two young men at the door as soon as it closed and decided to have some fun. When they headed for the elevators, he got in front of them and just said the first thing that came to mind, pretending to be off his rocker and a little senile.

And they bought it. As soon as he'd accused them of being federal police they'd bolted for the stairs without waiting for the elevator. That meant he'd struck a chord they didn't like the sound of. Chuckling to himself, he rejoined Arthur and Sawyer.

"Must you to do that, Jack? Leave those boys alone," the second of the older men admonished his friend.

"Now Arthur, I'm just having a little fun. What else is there to do until the storm passes?"

Arthur, the pastor of a non-denominational church in their hometown of Stillwater, Pennsylvania, huffed. "Watch television, read. There're books in the lounge."

"Reading puts me to sleep and I'm not ready for bed yet."

The cleric addressed the third man still leaning on the wall. "Help me out here, Sawyer."

The man, whose hair was still dark but with a streak of white in the front, downed the rest of his beer and pushed off the wall. "You're on your own, Artie. I'm going for a walk."

Peering at his friend, Jack could see something was wrong. He'd seen it the moment the taller of the newcomers had seen Sawyer. "This has something to do with those new guests, doesn't it?"

Making his face a blank mask, Sawyer set the empty bottle on the end table. "No idea what you're talking about."

~~O~~

The fourth floor, like the others and presumably the entire hotel, hadn't been renovated in at least twenty years. Tables in the hallways had silk flowers that had seen better days. Yet here, as in the lobby, everything was clean and cared for.

John opened the door, tossed his bag on the bed and went to stare out the window, thinking about the last time he'd seen Colonel Sawyer Hartley. John had been at the defendant's table and Hartley on the witness stand where he'd promised to tell the truth about his part in the events leading up to the chopper crash. And then he'd lied.

It had taken months for the evidence to be gathered and John had spent that time behind bars. At least he hadn't had to share with someone else. Or maybe he'd been given a private cell so he wouldn't be able to tell his side of the story to someone who'd believe him. Even his attorney hadn't, so why would anyone else? It had been the word of a Colonel against a Captain and the military court had chosen to believe the one with the impeccable reputation over that of a screw-up with several reprimands for insubordination on his record. He never did figure out how he'd managed _not_ to spend the rest of his life in Leavenworth.

The crash of a tree breaking off in the high winds startled John back to the present, the sun having gone down while he'd been staring into space. His stomach growled and though he didn't feel like eating, he thought he should at least get something to drink. A beer maybe. Or not. Drinking wasn't the best course of action when you're feeling sorry for yourself. With the help of Doc Adams, Gamblers Anonymous and Angel he was learning to regulate the impulses that had controlled him in the past. And it was a good feeling. At least until today.

Using the stairs, he returned to the first floor. The two young women had gone as had Colonel Hartley, but the two older men, Jack and the other one, were playing cards.

John walked the dimly lit hallway that led to the restaurant coming first to the bar. It was empty as was the dining room. No bartender, no cashier and no servers. He went behind the counter, opened one of the coolers and took out a bottle of ginger ale. Twisting the top off, he took a long drink as he passed between the tables into the kitchen. It too was empty just as Waligorski had said.

Flipping the lights on, he opened the walk-in, took out sliced lunchmeat, tomato, lettuce, onion and spicy mustard. He carried everything to a silver table with a cutting board set against one wall. Above it, stuck to a magnetic holder, hung a selection of knives. He chose one and used it to slice the tomato and onion. That done, he hunted for and located bread. When his sandwich was made, he went to stand at the back door watching the storm while he ate. This part of the hotel faced away from the shore providing the rear with a small amount of protection.

Just as he'd taken the last bite he heard a noise behind him. Whipping around, right hand reaching for his weapon, he found Jack standing there holding a cup of coffee and munching on a cookie.

"Maybe I should reintroduce myself, son. Jackson Gibbs. I run the general store in Stillwater, Pennsylvania." He set the coffee mug down, brushing the crumbs from his fingers.

While they shook hands, John noticed the irrational glint that had been in his eyes was gone, replaced by wisdom, curiosity and humor. "Special Agent John Sheppard."

"Sorry about before, John. Pegged you and your partner as federal agents as soon as you walked in the door and thought I'd have some fun." He waited for John's response leaning on the counter, a cane hooked over the edge.

One side of John's mouth lifted in a smile. "And you were right. ISA."

"You and your partner here to investigate the strange goings on?"

The way Jack phrased the question as well as his tone and the look in his eyes put John on alert. "Could be. Why don't you tell me your side of…" A strange squeaking sound reached them over the clamor of the storm. John cocked his head trying to locate it, turning to the back door when it came again. Jack put his hand on the doorknob while John's reached under the back of his shirt where his Glock was stuck in the waistband of his pants. He nodded and the door was flung open. Both relaxed in relief at the sight of a small water-logged cat sitting there. When it saw John, it lifted a paw, curling the claws into the screen of the outer door and crying louder.

Opening drawers, Jack found a towel and gripped it in both hands watching John expectantly. Belatedly John rushed to open the door and the cat stepped daintily into the warm dry kitchen. Wrapping the towel around the cat while it continued to cry, Jack picked it up and set it in the empty sink. He rubbed its body and head until the fur spiked then did the tail and each foot. John handed him a second towel when that one got too wet and a third when he finally finished.

"What're you gonna do with it?"

Jack cuddled the shivering animal in both arms. It worked one still damp paw free and reached in John's direction. "_It_ is a _she_, maybe six months old, and she's chosen _you_."

"_Me?_" John stumbled backward when the bundle of towel and cat was shoved into his arms. "I've never had a pet before. What am I gonna do with a _cat?_"

"Start by getting her something to eat and drink. Warm up some milk."

"But…"

Taking his cane to lean on, Jack went to the walk-in and came back with a bowl of milk which he stuck in the microwave. It dinged and he tested the temperature before setting it on the counter. John put the cat beside it, she sniffed the contents then began lapping it up. While she did that, he cut up some of the lunchmeat and piled it on a small plate, setting it alongside the bowl. When the milk was gone, she scarfed the meat down growling in pleasure.

Now that she was mostly dry, John could see that her fur was black everywhere but her ears which were bright orange, resembling two glowing coals in a dying campfire. He bent down even with her face watching her lick one paw and passed it repeatedly over her face and ears, taking special care of her very long while whiskers. Her left ear was a little tattered as if she'd been in a fight that she had managed to win despite her small size. Standing up straight, he asked Jack. "So now what?"

"Take her to your room, shred some newspaper in a box for her to do her business in, and when you leave, she goes with you. And make sure she has a bowl of water at all times."

"But…" His voice cut off when he felt damp fur rubbing against his arm. Using his forefinger to scratch her forehead he didn't know what to say when her big green eyes closed and she began to purr. "Okay. Just until the storm's over and we can find you a real home." She seemed to like that idea and purred even louder. Scooping her up, towel and all, he carried her out to the front desk. Waligorski wasn't around so he took an empty copy paper box, set the cat in it, went to the elevator and rode up to the fourth floor. Just as he was getting out, Evan was coming from the other direction. "There's stuff for sandwiches already out in the kitchen. Be sure to clean up when you're done."

The door closed leaving Evan in the hall wondering what the hell his partner was doing with an empty box.

~~O~~

Sawyer Hartley paced from one side of his room to the other, rubbing the back of his head and neck. A rundown hotel in St. Petersburg, Florida was the last place he ever thought he'd run into John Sheppard. He was almost as surprised at seeing him in the company of Evan Lorne whom he remembered as one of the people calling for Sheppard's blood at the trial, albeit in a more restrained manner than the other family members. Or was Lorne keeping close to Sheppard in order to find out more about the crash?

He pulled the chair out from the small desk in the corner and sat down, hands folded together in front of him. Glancing down, he looked at the bare ring finger of his left hand. His wife had divorced him several years ago and he still missed her. They'd never had any kids and all his family was gone. Except for Jack and Arthur, he was all alone, just as he deserved to be.

Reaching into the duffle bag on the floor, he took out a black Netbook and powered it up, spending the next few minutes organizing his thoughts. The cancer that had invaded his body was too far advanced for surgery. Chemo had extended his life by a few months, but that was all. Before he died, he needed to scrub his conscience clean. Or at least tidy it up a little.

Opening a new document, he did a quick save-as, giving it a name that would be certain to pique the curiosity of anyone who found it after his death, and began to type.

He typed long into the night, leaving out nothing.

Eventually his strength, no longer what it had once been, gave out. He saved the document, got undressed. Fatigued, he fell asleep quickly.

~~O~~

Evan let the water out of the sink, rinsed it out and dried his hands on a towel he found in a drawer. Hanging it over the faucet to dry, he checked there was no trace of the mess his partner had left, switched out the light and carefully weaved between the tables and chairs to the hall that led to the front of the hotel. Just as he reached the entrance to the bar, also in darkness, he heard voices speaking softly. The deep echoing quality, as well as their tone, told him they were Goa'uld. He ducked back around the corner when they came his way, trying to see who the hosts were but they were gone before he could make them out.

When the coast was clear, he hurried to the fourth floor, jogged to Sheppard's door at the end of the hall and knocked. It opened on his shirtless partner drying his face with a hand towel.

"You bring your Zat?"

"Yeah. Why?" Sheppard had started with an annoyed expression but switched to alarmed when Evan explained the reason for his late visit.

"Goa'uld. At least two. Couldn't see the hosts' faces."

"Why would they be _here?_"

"No idea, but it can't be good." Evan glanced at his watch. "Not much we can do about it tonight. Almost everyone's in their rooms or asleep. Even the Goa'uld."

Sheppard nodded. "We should call Woolsey."

His cell phone already out, Evan held it up. "Did that on the way up. Said he'd send reinforcements if we need 'em. I…" He stopped speaking when a demanding yowl came from inside. "Um…"

"It's a _cat_. Found it-_her_ at the kitchen door nearly drowned. I fed her and now she won't leave me alone."

Evan grinned. "A girl in every port, huh?" The yowl came again, louder. "Better not keep her waiting, Sheppard." A moment later, he chuckled when the door slammed in his face.

~~O~~

Stripping down to his boxers, John watched the cat playing with a piece of paper she'd taken from the trash can under the desk after dumping it over and spreading the contents across the floor. Every time he put it back, she dumped it out again so he just left it. Before that, she'd investigated the dresser, desk, armoire where the television and radio were hidden, his duffle bag, the closet and the bathroom. She batted the paper under the bed then chased it, rolling around on the floor and growling, using her hind claws to disembowel it. When it had been beaten into submission and shredded all over the floor, she lost interest, coming to stare up at him.

"Now what?" She meowed, yawned and scratched her torn ear, arching her whiskers forward. "If you're saying its bedtime, I agree." He took a towel from the bathroom, laid it in the bottom of the paper box and lifted her into it. The top had been put in the bathroom with shredded newspaper. "You can sleep here the next couple of nights. We'll find you a home after the storm's over, okay?"

She stared up at him for a few seconds, stretched, turned in a circle and lay down, seeming to go right to sleep.

John climbed into bed covered himself with just the sheet, switched out the light and lay on his back. Just as he was about to drop off, he heard a small thump and a moment later, the cat had jumped onto the foot of the bed. She walked up the side, greeting him with a purr. He reached out to run a hand down the soft fur feeling her back arch in response. She purred even louder then curled up against John's side under his arm, and in less than five minutes, cat and human had gone to sleep.

~~O~~

Morning came and the storm had calmed though no one ventured farther than the end of the veranda as they knew it was the eye and not the end. At 0801 Evan knocked on John's door carrying a tray with two covered plates, a carafe of coffee, two cups, toast and a small bowl of fruit. It was opened by his partner dressed in nothing but a pair of boxers and yawning as if he'd just gotten out of bed. "What?"

"You just wake up?"

Rubbing his eyes, John yawned again, looked at his watch not hiding his surprise at the time. "Yeah. Best night's sleep I've had in a long time." Standing out of the way, John let Evan in then went to his bag, pulling out clean clothes.

"The cat sleep with you?"

Nodding, John headed for the bathroom.

"She's a sleep-bomb." At John's blank expression, he explained. "A sleep-bomb is a purring cat that sleeps with you. Better than drugs any day of the week." He set the tray on the desk. "We can discuss how to handle the situation while we eat."

Evan poured himself a cup of coffee. As he took a sip, an imperious meow came from the direction of his feet. He let the cat sniff his fingers and when she'd determined he was acceptable, she cried again. "I bet you're hungry." Uncovering one of the plates, he removed the toast from the small plate and broke up a few pieces of sausage then set the plate on the floor. It had barely touched down when she dived into it, finishing the offering in record time. Pouring some of the milk into the same plate, he watched her lap it up missing the cat he'd had as a kid.

While the cat performed her post-breakfast ablutions, he went to the window. Pulling the curtain aside, he watched emergency vehicles making their way slowly down Gulf Boulevard maneuvering carefully around the debris in the street. The skies were still filled with dark clouds and the wind was beginning to pick up again signaling the approach of the other side of hurricane Neville.

Hurricanes were rare on the west coast so Evan's experience with them was minimal. John too, both of them having grown up in California. They had basic knowledge but that was it.

The shower shut off and a few minutes later John came out of the bathroom, his hair once again defying gravity. Evan rolled his eyes wondering if the man ever combed it after toweling it dry. Dismissing it as unimportant, he poured coffee and handed it to John followed by the second plate of food.

~~O~~

John used a foot to turn the desk chair so he could sit while he ate and still talk to Evan who was leaning against the wall next to the window holding his own plate and munching on a sausage link. Glancing around, he didn't see the cat expecting her to be at his feet demanding breakfast. "Where is she?"

"I fed her then she got up on the bed and went to sleep."

John ate a few bites, avoiding his partner's gaze. "Sparky."

"Sparky?"

"That's her name. Well, the one I gave her." John waved his free hand at the sides of his head. "The ears. They kinda look like…never mind." He bit into a piece of toast without butter or jam then followed it with a bite of scrambled eggs. "This is pretty good. Did the cook make it in or did Mrs. Waligorski do the cooking?"

"Neither. I made enough for everyone." Just as he said it, the lights flickered and went out. "Guess that's it for the generator."

"Should make it easier to find the snake-heads. The eyes and the voices."

"Provided the Goa'uld's in command at the time."

They spent the next few minutes working out a basic plan, but without knowing whom the Goa'uld had taken as hosts, they'd have to wing most of it.

When he'd finished eating, John put on his socks and shoes, checked that Sparky was still sleeping, shoved his Glock into the back waistband of his pants and the Zat into a pocket then met Evan at the door. They took the stairs down to the first floor. If the owner wasn't around, they planned on going through the guest list to see if anything leapt out at them that would point to which of the guests or staff might be Goa'uld.

Just as they reached the last flight of stairs, Evan stopped John with a raised fist and signaling for quiet. He peeked around the corner and pulled back, pointing to his eyes. Both men put their hands on their Zats, counted to three and made a leisurely descent to the lobby.

The host, a young woman in black pants and a uniform top, saw them, turned and ran. The men chased her down the hall leading to the pool area. Knowing there was nowhere to go, John and Evan was certain they'd catch her quickly. But it was not to be. She ducked into the stairwell, her footsteps echoing.

The men hit the door seconds behind her, sharing a grin because she'd gone up, the same mistake made in every horror slashfest in the last forty years.

When they reached the top floor, the door was just closing. Exiting, they found the Goa'uld going through the roof access. Evan reached the door first, almost falling when John ran into him as they entered the darkened boiler room. Across from the door between one huge boiler and another smaller one, a window stood open. John leaned out but he didn't see anyone.

He motioned Evan one way while he went the other around the huge device. Once their eyes adjusted, they could see a little better. A maintenance area filled the far end of the room with tools, tables, parts and lots of dust. There were few places to hide and she was nowhere in sight.

The sound of breaking glass swung them around as the host emerged from her hiding place behind the smaller of the boilers. When they reached the open area in front of the door, the Goa'uld had one foot out the window, her hands holding the sides. Where she was going they had no idea unless she planned on using the fire escape.

She brought that foot back inside and turned to face them, seeming unafraid for someone who'd been running for her life just moments before. In fact, she even smiled, Evan immediately recognizing the arrogant smirk of a Goa'uld as opposed to the benevolent smile of a Tok'ra.

Just like her brethren, she wasted no time on small talk. "You will allow me to leave."

To Evan, John whispered, "It's really creepy seeing and hearing it in person."

"No kidding."

"I am Nabirye and you will speak only to _me_. _Not_ to each other!"

The anger and superiority ticked John off, not to mention that smile he was already beginning to despise. "Take out your weapon and toss it over here."

"I have no weapon."

"Well _we_ are armed to the teeth and have you trapped so you've got things a little backward about who's in charge here."

"That is where you are wrong. Did you think that I would be so stupid as to leave myself totally unprotected?"

Evan didn't like the sound of that according to the small quick intake of breath and that put John's already heightened senses on full alert. "It's two to one. How had you planned on getting away?" Nabirye just smiled, glancing over their shoulders and allowing Evan to think it through. "Uh-oh."

"What's uh-oh?"

"We forgot about someone."

The door opened and from behind them came the order, "Drop your weapons."

To keep Nabirye and the newcomers in sight, John and Evan stood back to back, John keeping an eye on Nabirye while Evan kept watch on the other two. Over his shoulder, John whispered, "Who?"

"The cell phone junkies from the lobby."

With a heartfelt groan and without taking his eyes off Nabirye, John said, "_Oh_, crap!"

~~O~~

Resigning himself to yet another day of no fishing and being confined to the hotel, Jack Gibbs combed his hair, checked his teeth and adjusted his suspenders. Satisfied that he looked the best he could under the circumstances, he grabbed his cane and headed down for breakfast thinking it'd probably be cold now that the generator had gone out.

He'd just closed his door when he heard people talking at the end of the hall near the roof access. Some of the voices sounded odd, reverberating as if through an alteration program like the ones his son's co-workers used in their work.

The door stood ajar and from within he could now discern John's voice and that of his partner as well as three others. He pushed the door open bumping someone who'd been standing behind it. Two loud booms came in quick succession, the unmistakable sounds of a shotgun being fired not once but twice. The weapon clattered as it hit the cement floor and barely a second later two young women shoved him out of the way. He stumbled against the wall nearly falling.

John followed, stopping long enough to give him a terse order. "Lorne's been injured. Call an ambulance and stay with him. And whatever you do, _don't_ go near the woman." He squeezed his shoulder to make sure he had the older man's attention. "I _mean_ it." And then he was gone, ducking into the stairwell across the hall.

As his eye adjusted, Jack could see Lorne on the floor, gasping at the amount of blood as he knelt beside him. "I'll call the paramedics." He whipped out his cell phone but couldn't get a signal. Not that he expected to though he had to try. As he turned around, he saw movement on the floor. Flipping his cane so he was holding the straight end, he swung at what looked like a snake crawling toward Lorne, gasping when it leapt into the air.

~~O~~

The wind and rain again battered the old building, strong gusts slamming the water against the outside so hard Evan thought the windows might break. In the dim lighting coming from the hall and the window, he could see the two young women who'd been in the lobby when he and John had arrived. The blonde held a Magnum and the brunette, guarding the door, a short-barrelled shotgun. Both weapons could inflict considerable damage, especially within the confines of the boiler room not only to the individuals present, but the machinery as well. Neither would be good.

The blonde came forward, the Magnum held in a rock steady grip, her empty hand extended, fully expecting Evan and John to just hand over their weapons. What she didn't know, but would soon find out, was that these two men were no ordinary cops.

Glancing over his shoulder at John, he was surprised to see his partner looking back. They nodded, each seeming to know what the other was thinking. But before they could put action to their thoughts, the brunette stumbled forward, accidentally pulling the trigger twice, the blasts nearly deafening in the confined space.

Evan felt incredible pain just below his sternum, the impact spinning him around as his body crashed to the floor with a thud. The fingers of his right hand went lax, the Zat rolling a few inches away. On his side, he could see that the second blast had hit Nabirye in the chest, creating a huge hole in the front and a gaping hole in her back for the exit wound. His view of the storm was now obscured by the blood, tissue and flecks of bone spattered over the window panes and surrounding walls.

Aside from the death of an innocent woman, how it came about didn't matter because somehow the symbiote had survived and was crawling toward him.

Unable to move, Evan's breathing became labored, he forced his head to move and saw a pool of blood forming in front of him coming from the wound in his chest. It spread so fast he knew he wouldn't be making it out of this alive. His only regret was not knowing the full story of Lee's death though now he believed that Sheppard was not as guilty as the military court had convinced him he was. And now he'd never get a chance to tell him.

Evan's eyes widened, terror like he'd never know before slashed through him as he tried desperately to force his dying body to move away from the symbiote as it crawled across the dirty cement floor. Except for his right hand twitching, it refused his instructions rendering him powerless to defend himself when the Goa'uld leapt into the air, landing on his neck.

It crawled around to the back of his head and a second later the pain in his stomach paled in comparison to that inflicted by the intrusion of the symbiote as it entered through the back of his neck. He could feel it wrapping itself around his spine, control of his mind and body slipping away as tendrils wound their way into his brain. He tried to call out, make some sort of sound. Jack wouldn't be able to help him but he made the attempt anyway. A moan that came from deep in his throat barely made it to his lips.

Evan didn't know how long he lay there as the pain in his head and stomach gradually became less and less. He'd been dying and now wished it were true because he'd rather depart from this life than become a host to a Goa'uld. But he wasn't given the option. The thing now inside him dominated, suppressing almost without effort all those bits and pieces that made up Evan Lorne has he'd been less than fifteen minutes ago. It healed his body, damaged beyond human technology's ability to repair it. But turning over control of everything that made him who was, well the price was just too great.

Inside his mind, he screamed in rage and frustration as his body stood, feeling the wound in his stomach healing the longer the creature was inside him. His hands and arms flexed as if the symbiote were testing the new reflexes as he retrieved the Zat.

The female symbiote now in full command of "their" body ignored Jack Gibbs and the corpse of her former host as she moved out into the hall, gaining physical strength with every step until she broke into an easy jog.

~~O~~

Nabirye smiled as she chased the other human male who'd gone after her companions, ignoring for now the older human who'd tried to stop her.

Oh, yes, she liked the new host better than the last one though it was the first time she'd ever been in a male. The woman had consumed too much food with very little exercise aside from work to offset it making her about thirty pounds overweight. At least in the beginning. Once the symbiote had taken over, she'd made changes to the body's wants and needs, forcing her to eat healthier and exercise more until she was closer to her ideal weight at the time of her death.

But this body was in much better shape, stronger and faster than any other host she'd ever been in. She'd be able to keep this one a very long time.

She slowed as she neared the first floor coming to a stop on the landing just before the carpeted stairs curved around and down. Inside, Evan was trying to take back what he considered his without success. She pushed back, reasserting her power.

Pulling the Zat from her pocket, she made her way down to the empty lobby. Listening carefully, she heard the voices of her companions and the other one, coming from the hallway past the elevators, Evan's mind supplying the name. Extending the arm holding the Zat, she turned the corner, aiming at the back of the dark head.

"It is time for you to die, John Sheppard."

**TBC**


	28. Broken Dreams

**A/N:** Thanks go out, as always, to ladygris. Her insights into the characters helped make this a better chapter. She is patient and tolerant of someone who can be a pest at the best of times. We won't go into what can happen at the worst of times. ;-) If you want that information, just talk to my younger siblings. I'm sure they'll go into great detail about what it's like to have me as a sister.

Dwparsnip was a big help as well, advising and critiquing when time permitted in his busy schedule.

Shadows-of-Realm was just a big meanie.

Enjoy,

Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 28**

**Broken Dreams**

John stumbled forward, slammed in the back when the shotgun blast struck Evan, a shot from his Zat going wild and damaging the boiler. In front of him, Nabirye jerked backward as well, landing half on the steps leading to the outside. If he'd had the time, he'd have gagged at the sight of gore splattered across the walls, windows and floor of the boiler room, but he didn't.

A grunt and a groan turned him to the door. Jack was leaning against the doorjamb, the sound of running telling John that the two remaining hosts had taken off now that their leader was dead. He knelt down next to Evan, shoving the Zat into his back pocket. "Lorne!" His hands hovered over the wound without touching it, not certain what, if anything, he should do. He started to take off his shirt in order to staunch the flow of blood, but Lorne's grip on his wrist stopped him.

"Not as bad as it looks. Go!" Evan's voice was strained and John was still reluctant to leave his partner. "Dammit, Sheppard! GO!"

With a quick nod, John surged to his feet, the Zat already back in his hand. He stopped long enough to speak to Jack. "Lorne's been injured. Call an ambulance and _stay_ with him. And whatever you do, _don't_ go near the woman." He squeezed his shoulder to make sure he had the older man's attention. "I _mean_ it."

The stairwell door slammed behind him as he pounded down the stairs, jumping over the last few steps of each flight thankful for the gripping tread of the sneakers he'd started wearing in place of the boots he'd favored before.

Though he tried to keep his mind focused on the chase, a part of him had already begun mourning the loss of his partner. He didn't need a doctor to tell him that a gut shot at close range would more than likely be fatal. Lorne had been hit with a shotgun blast at less than three meters and that spelled dead in John's experience. John had already killed the man's wife and child. It wasn't fair that _Lorne_ had to die too.

John's mind returned to the Goa'uld he was chasing as he reached the first floor. Using the post at the bottom of the stairs for leverage, he rounded the corner at a full run, skidding to a stop as he came face to face with the hosts, the blonde still holding the Magnum now pointed at his chest. He knew that, by leaving his brain intact, she'd be able to use him for a host.

_Not__ gonna happen!_

Another plan formed in John's mind. A life-altering somebody's-gonna-die-and-I-hope-it's-not-me-but-it-probably-will-be kind of plan. If there seemed no way to avoid being implanted, he'd shoot them _and_ himself in the head before allowing it to take place. At least then he'd maybe make some sort of amends.

"Going somewhere, ladies?" They smiled at him and he didn't like the looks of it. He didn't like any of this but he had a job to do and he'd be damned if he'd let the fact that he was outnumbered be a deterrent.

"We ran in the hopes that you _would_ chase us leaving Nabirye to join with the younger human male. If that is not possible, she will take the older human. With her influence, he will be in better health than he has ever been and will live a much longer life than he would have as an unjoined human."

Aiming his Zat at them, John grinned as if he held all the cards in this game, bluffing like he'd never bluffed before. He repeated his earlier thoughts out loud. "_Not_ gonna happen. You know, I just had a thought. I can't keep referring to you as ladies because we know you're not and 'snakeheads' is too…I just don't like it. How about Thing One and Thing Two?" He knew it was the wrong thing to say before he'd even opened his mouth, but he didn't really care at this point in their little standoff. He was _pissed!_

The brunette took a step toward him, her companion stopping her with a commanding gesture. "That will not be necessary. I am Pili and this is Mosi. You will address us by our names."

Adjusting his stance, John shook his head. "You'll always be Thing One and Thing Two to me. Think of them as terms of offense rather than endearment." His tone was sarcastic but Pili and Mosi didn't seem to catch on. Not that it mattered. This would all be over soon, one way or another.

He was about to continue with more semi-friendly banter in hopes of distracting them further when the scuff of a shoe drew his attention. A moment later, he was desperately trying to maintain his mental equilibrium. Through the influence of a symbiote, he heard the voice of his partner.

"It is time for you to die, John Sheppard."

~~O~~

*No!* Evan shouted inside his mind, now shared with a creature from another world.

**But you have much animosity for this human. On many occasions you have wished for him to…**

*I won't let you kill him.* He felt her contempt and scornful laughter.

**And _how_ will you stop me?**

He concentrated and found that he had a very small measure of influence though it was countermanded by the symbiote almost immediately. But it gave him hope when he thought all had been lost. *You're not as strong as you thought.*

Nabirye became confused as she felt her grip on Evan's mind slip even more. **What-what is happening? I-I feel…odd. There is a strange sensation…**

Focusing all his energy on pushing back, Evan was able to move his right arm so the Zat was no longer aimed at John's head. It dropped down so it now pointed at John's mid-back and slowly lowered until it came to his side. His fingers opened and the Zat clattered to the floor. *Look who's in charge now!*

In a move of desperation, Nabirye's determination rushed to the fore and she forced Evan to attack his partner. John turned only just able to get his arms up in time to brace himself for the impact, his Zat flying away. The men grappled, Nabirye managing to land a few blows to John's torso. The fist aimed at his face was blocked almost too late, glancing off the side of his jaw.

Instead of trying to stop what Nabirye was doing, Evan focused his attention on the weirdness creeping into their combined consciousness using it to mitigate the strength of the attack. Something was causing her influence over him to slip and he used it to his benefit.

**You cannot win! I am Goa'uld! A _god!_ The superiority of our race has been proven!**

*Not to _me_ it hasn't.* The internal and external struggles continued until Nabirye weakened enough for Evan to end the fighting. *You're just a _parasite_. What 'superiority' do you have without me?*

**My-my mind is becoming…unclear. _Stop_ what you are doing!**

*Why? You'll die?* Evan heard the affirmative even though she never answered. *Hmm. Let me think about that for a bit.* As the seconds ticked by, he started taking back control of his body. And within that control, it was becoming less difficult to override the influence Nabirye had exerted over him since the implantation. *Nope. You're gonna die. Thanks for healing me, by the way.*

**Uhnh…it is in your blood. It contains a genetic anomaly. I have heard tales of humans who were immune to the blending, but have always thought it a myth.** A groan gurgled out of her throat, out of _Evan's_ throat. **I-I must leave your body or…or…"

One last powerful mental push and only the smallest spark of life remained within the symbiote. Like someone who'd been rendered brain-dead though their body refused to stop working, she lived on inside him but she no longer controlled him, would never control him again. And if the tradeoff was having her body in his brain, Evan would take it. At least until they could figure out how to get her out. _If_ they could get her out.

~~O~~

Moving slowly so he wouldn't startle Thing One and Thing Two, John glanced over his shoulder at Evan. The face that seldom showed anything more than mild emotion was grinning in triumph. He did his best not to take a step back when the blue eyes flashed. They flashed again and again, the grin changing to one of confusion then to determination. Small movements, twitches, turned into spasms seeming to indicate an internal struggle just before Evan attacked him.

He protected himself as much as possible while at the same time trying not to reinjure his partner's body. They got into a clinch, the front of John's shirt becoming wet with blood from where Evan had been shot. The massive wound had been healed by the symbiote so his life was no longer in danger. But the price he'd paid, being dominated by Nabirye, just wouldn't do in John's accounting of checks and balances. His side of the ledger was already filled with debts he had yet to atone for and would not be added to, if he could help it.

Suddenly, Evan stopped grappling with him, stepping back, his arms dropping to his sides. One corner of his mouth turned up revealing to John that his partner was once again himself. He'd worry about the _how_ later. They exchanged a nod, turning quickly when grunts of surprise and the sounds of fighting came from the others.

~~O~~

Snarled cries of anger in two different voices came a mere second before Pili and Mosi were attacked. They fought back as if their lives depended on it.

Pili hung onto the Magnum as long as possible but her attacker was much stronger than her host, overpowering them in short order. The weapon was wrenched from her hand, breaking several of the fingers. She suppressed the pain impulses as she struggled futilely until a shouted order came from Nabirye in the male human. Another clipped order chased the first but this one confused her as it was intended for someone else.

"Let her go!"

The release came so abruptly she stumbled. A moment later, a bolt from the Zat in Nabirye's hand rendered her unconscious.

~~O~~

Mosi cried out when a body slightly heavier and much taller than hers grabbed her from behind. Though she fought back with everything she had, her attacker had obviously had some training in hand-to-hand as she was unable to secure an advantage.

Luck came her way just for an instant and she pounced on it, turning to face her opponent. Her left hand shot out but wasn't allowed to hit its target. Instead, her wrist was captured and she was turned to face Nabirye. Surprise showed on her face briefly as her left arm was wrapped around her own throat and the left arm of her attacker slipped underneath, the hand settling on the back of her head pushing her forward, cutting off her air. Spots appeared in front of her eyes. Consciousness stuttered then closed down completely. She didn't feel it when her body sank to the floor next to Pili's.

~~O~~

Minor chaos ensued as everyone and everything was sorted out. The random elements to the equation waited for John and Evan to say something.

"That was perfect timing, Mr. Waligorski. You and your son couldn't have done it better if it had been planned."

The hotel owner gave John an awkward and slightly shy smile while the boy crossed his arms and looked smug. "You gotta do what you gotta do, Mr. Sheppard. The Verde Point Hotel prides itself on providing exceptional customer service. Allowing one guest to shoot another, well, we just couldn't let it happen. And call me Max." A small hand slipped into the one not holding the Magnum. "This is my wife Clara and that tall drink of water over there is our son Benny."

Clara gasped at the blood on John. "Sorry, ma'am. Cut myself shaving." He pulled his shirt off leaving on the slightly soiled T-shirt. "Um, Benny, where did you learn that sleeper hold?"

The teenager grinned and shrugged, a little embarrassed. "YouTube."

They all laughed at that matter-of-fact statement from the boy until movement behind them announced the arrival of Jack and his friends.

~~O~~

Arthur saw Evan's very bloody clothes though they'd yet to be noticed by the Waligorski family. He and Sawyer had been briefed on what had been happening. And though they'd both taken it with a bit of skepticism at first, Jack had been proven right on all accounts.

Slipping off his shirt, he handed it to Evan who nodded and put it on, quickly buttoning up the front while Jack made introductions.

"Boys, this is Arthur Mayfield. He's the pastor for the non-denominational church in Pealertown. A little long-winded at times, but a good friend. And of course you both know Sawyer Hartley."

~~O~~

Sheppard didn't say a word, barely even acknowledged Sawyer's presence. Not that he'd expected John to react any differently. No good reason existed for him to want to speak to the man who'd destroyed his life, but he _had_ to find a way to get Sheppard alone, to let him know that he'd taken steps to clear his name. It wouldn't change the past but it might make his future brighter though he seemed to have begun the process on his own, if what Jack had told him about aliens that could take over your mind was true. He had no reason not to believe his lifelong friend. Jack was old, not senile and definitely not given to flights of fancy.

Still, he had to do something to compensate his former junior officer for the suffering he'd had to endure since his trial.

"Sheppard?"

John turned from speaking to the hotel owner and his family, his back stiffening though his eyes were unreadable. "What?"

These were the first words they'd exchanged since just after the crash. They'd never spoken during the trial and for good reason. "John…" he trailed off.

The brunette was getting to her knees, her outraged eyes flashed, startling Sawyer. He'd never completely believed Jack's story. But now he did. He also believed that the woman, alien, whatever, had malicious intentions. That belief was confirmed when she rammed her shoulder into Max's stomach sending him tumbling into Clara and pushing them both up against the wall, his arms around his wife to keep her from falling, and taking her gently to the floor to hopefully present a smaller target. In doing so, he loosened his hold on the Magnum. She twisted it from his grip, thumbed the hammer back and pointed it at Jack.

"You will allow us to leave or the old one will die."

No one moved though Sawyer felt the tension surge in all of them, particularly John. By the way John's eyes looked from the woman holding the weapon to Jack, he knew the hot-headed young chopper pilot was still inside and he was about to do something stupid. Moving just his forefinger, he touched the back of John's hand, making the smallest shake of his head when their eyes met. Without responding, John indicated acceptance.

"Nabirye?" Mosi inquired, needing confirmation that her companion was indeed joined to the male.

A collective gasp came from the Waligorskis, Arthur, and to a lesser extent, John when Evan's eyes flashed, his voice deepening. "Yes. Give me the weapon, Pili."

Mosi's expression hardened, her chin lifting, the Magnum now pointed at John. "Nabirye would know Pili resides within that host." She nodded at the blonde still huddled on the floor. "Perhaps I should kill your friend instead."

Several things happened at once.

Mosi pulled the trigger.

John was shoved to the side where he fell onto a small round table. It collapsed and the vase of silk flowers smashed against the wall sending shards of glass in all directions.

A black Glock appeared in Evan's right hand, his left one coming up to steady it as he fired three quick shots into Mosi's host's head, her body slumping again to the floor. Condensation on the inside of the window next to her mixed with the blood splatters, drops of red chasing each other down the glass.

Benny dropped to his knees, his arms encircling his parents as if he could protect them.

Jack and Arthur stared at Sawyer as one hand came up to the blossom of bright red on his chest. His knees buckled dropping him to the floor next to John.

John rolled to his knees next to his former commanding officer as together he and Evan turned him onto his back. Blood trickled out the side of his mouth leaving a thin trail along his jaw, a smaller form of the puddle now soaking into the cracks between the slats of wood and the edges of the carpet.

Sawyer reached a trembling hand toward John who took it in his. Coughing made the blood flow faster. His voice barely above a whisper, he said, "Sorry…John…"

No one had noticed that the storm had ended.

~~O~~

The hand holding John's went limp as Sawyer breathed his last.

"Sorry? What's _he_ sorry for?" Evan, again himself, asked.

Not answering, John bowed his head. To the others it probably looked like he was saying a prayer for Sawyer. But that was far from the truth. The one person who could have cleared him was _dead_. Another dream broken.

"Sheppard?"

John laid the hand he was still holding on the bloody chest, reached over and brought the other one up to rest on top of the first. He took a deep breath and stood. "Is everyone alright?" After receiving affirmative replies from all but Pili and Mosi, he turned in a circle until he found the exit to the veranda. He tossed his Glock to Evan and hit the door.

Outside, he stepped over and around the debris and overturned deck chairs, tables and trashcans. He didn't bother with the short flight of stairs down to the beach, just vaulted over the railing landing firmly in the sand. He walked quickly toward the beach where people were already milling around telling their tales of survival, taking off his shoes, socks, T-shirt and pants as he went, removing anything that would hold him back.

Breaking into a run, he headed for the water veering to the right at the last second. His speed increased until he was running so fast that everyone and everything was a blur.

~~O~~

Evan chased after his partner, concern in his blue eyes. He watched from the veranda as John shed his clothes and took off running, disappearing into the distance. Feeling someone come to stand next to him, he wasn't surprised to see Jack beside him.

"Leave him be, son. He'll come back when he's ready. Come inside. Mrs. W is making dinner while we menfolk clean up the mess." Evan looked surprised making Jack laugh. "We know this whole thing'll be covered up by your bosses, son, so don't be coy."

Nodding, Evan stepped onto the sand. "Be right there." He gathered up his partner's clothes, shook as much of the sand off as possible, went back inside and straight to his room. After a quick shower and change of clothes, he returned to the first floor.

~~O~~

Setting his plate on the desk, Evan took out his cell phone. He stared at it working out how he would explain to Woolsey, the SGC and, by extension, the OAB the events that had just transpired. With Sheppard AWOL, it was up to him to at least get the ball rolling. This was the sort of report one gave in person but he wouldn't be able to transport without setting off alarms and causing a lockdown due to the security measures set up to keep Goa'uld and any number of other nasties out of Earth's super-secret facilities.

And now he _was_ one. Sort of. The symbiote within him was not dead. It was in what would be called a coma in a human. The brain still functioned on a minimal level. He had access to the memories from the previous hosts, but not hers, not the genetic memory of the entire Goa'uld race. That was a good thing as he did _not_ want to be used a guinea pig, or worse. She had no influence over him and never would again. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Checking the time, he hit Woolsey's speed dial. His boss answered on the first ring and Evan swore under his breath having momentarily entertained the idea that he could leave a quick message with Sheila for a later call-back.

"Lorne, sir. Since my last check-in, the situation has been resolved…There were a total of three fatalities so we'll need a clean-up crew and possible intervention with the media…One hotel employee and two guests…We have positive IDs on all three. You should know that the male deceased was a retired Air Force officer. Colonel Sawyer Hartley…yes, sir. He was killed by one of the Goa'uld…I'd be happy to come to Area 52, sir, but there's a complication…No, Sheppard is fine. He's stepped outside to check the perimeter now that the storm is over, but should be back soon…It would probably be best to explain the complication within the context of the report, sir."

He waited while Woolsey started the official recording. Evan gave the date and location of the incident, listed the names of the agents involved and began, pausing when he came to the conflict in the boiler room. "Sheppard and I confronted the suspected Goa'uld host, a hotel employee by the name of Beth Redfoot, in the boiler room. At the time, we had knowledge of at least two hosts. The symbiote, Nabirye, refused to surrender peacefully…"

~~O~~

Arthur stood at the window, hands in his pockets, watching John sit on the steps wearing just his boxers, tossing pebbles, seashells, twigs, whatever he could reach. When he stopped, that same hand rubbed through his hair and down to the back of his neck. If ever there was a troubled soul, it was his. Going to the door, he let himself out, making no effort to hide his approach.

John looked up and Arthur took that as an invitation to join him. He seated himself next to the younger man with a groan, letting his eyes roam over the landscape. "You know, even with the damage from the storm, the beach is a beautiful place. One of our Lord's greatest creations, in my humble opinion." Not even a grunt came from his companion. He knew he had his attention though.

"In my younger days, my buddies and I would drive down to Ditch Plains or Gilgo Beach and spend the weekend surfing. Haven't done that since just after college. Been too busy to enjoy some of life's simpler pleasures." John still didn't respond, had barely moved, so Arthur kept talking. "One day, just past my sixteenth birthday, the waves were _crankin'_ and I'd just dropped in through the backdoor of a major beach break. I was preparing for a cutback when I wiped out.

"My head hit the board and while I was unconscious, an angel came to me. She told me to trust in the Lord and everything would be fine. In the bible, when angels are mentioned, they're usually referred to as 'he', but to this _day_ I believe the one that came to me was female. She had long white-blonde hair, the prettiest smile I've ever seen, aside from my departed Rosemary's, and eyes that sparkled as if a piece of the sun had been captured inside." He let the memory flow over him again. "Until then I'd never been much for going to church. Fell asleep during the message more than a few times.

"But in that single moment, I saw…everything. Everything I'd been, everything I was…and everything I was meant to be. From that moment on, I lived my life, and no pun intended, son, as a shepherd for the Lord.

"Now I know what you think this is about, John, that this shepherd is trying to turn you into one of his flock. But that isn't so. God wants you to come to him willingly. Not do it to please someone else or because you were guilted into it. It has to be _your_ decision and yours alone.

"Just remember, you may not believe in Him…but He believes in _you,_ and someday I hope you'll see that as the truth." Slanting his eyes to the side, he found John looking at him, his eyes narrowed in thought though he still hadn't responded.

Slapping his thighs, Arthur stood and stretched. "Guess I'll go back inside. If you're hungry, dinner's been made. That Clara is a miracle worker in the kitchen considering there's still no electricity." He'd only gone a few steps when John finally spoke.

"Sir, do you think normal everyday people hear God? Even people like me?"

Returning to lean on the railing, the pastor gazed into the distance as if gathering his thoughts. "We _all_ hear God, son. It's just that most of us don't listen to what He's saying."

~~O~~

The meal Mrs. Waligorski prepared sat uneaten while Evan stared out the window. The sun was finally coming out now that the power had been restored, and people were venturing into the streets. Tow trucks were being utilized to drag downed trees off the roads while city crews and what looked like ragtag groups of volunteers removed the smaller items. A group of adults were righting picnic tables and trashcans from the public beach next door while kids and pre-teens picked up trash and branches.

Turning away from the scene below, he glanced at the clock. Woolsey, a medical team and a cleanup crew were on their way. Normally, they'd just transport who and what they needed but this wasn't a normal situation. They would come from MacDill AFB in Tampa and Evan already knew from the news reports on the radio that getting over the Howard Franklin Bridge would take some time. A freighter had broken loose from its moorings and narrowly missed hitting the main bridge supports on one side. Until it could be removed, the opposite side had been turned into a two-way. Police from both sides of Tampa Bay were monitoring to keep traffic moving smoothly.

He'd confined himself to his room, avoiding the staff and other guests just in case he wasn't as free of Nabirye as he thought. Not that it would keep him from getting out if he really wanted to, but it made him feel better to be away from the others.

While he waited, he thought over the events, particularly the time where he was controlled by the symbiote. He'd spent a lifetime suppressing, holding everything in reserve for later scrutiny. He didn't want to examine the things he'd experienced, but knew he needed to. Later, he'd speak to Doc Adams about it, but for now he just needed to get it all straight in his head.

The main emotion was one of revulsion. He'd been violated in the worst possible way, feeling as if he'd been raped. In the end, Nabirye had been brought down by something that had its beginnings within his genetic structure only God knew how long ago. If he hadn't had the anomaly that made him immune to the joining, she'd have used his mind and body to kill and destroy and he wouldn't have been able to stop her.

Pacing around the room to work off his disgust and impatience of waiting, another emotion joined the other two: rage. It made him _furious_ that the beings called Goa'uld thought of themselves as gods so far superior to humans that the wants and needs of their hosts meant less than nothing to them. As he'd said to Nabirye, the Goa'uld were nothing but parasites feeding off of others as easily as he would eat the food on his plate and with just as little thought.

Evan caught sight of his face in the mirror above the dresser. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. His eyes flashed just as they had when he'd impersonated Nabirye and a sense of power coursed through him as if he'd gotten a sudden jolt of adrenaline. With a growl, his fist shot out and smashed the mirror. The pain in his knuckles dissipated most of the anger as he watched the blood drip onto the top of the dresser.

In the bathroom, he hissed as the cool water stung the cuts and washed away the blood, helping to numb the area. He shut off the water, yanked a small hand towel from the bar next to the sink, and wrapped it around his hand.

Again catching his face in the mirror, he saw himself as others might at this moment. Though he didn't like the picture he presented, he laughed. "Lorne, you are _definitely_ you. Now you gotta prove it."

Sitting at the desk, he took the cover off his food, picked up the fork and began to eat. He'd just taken the last bite and was reaching for the bottle of water when someone knocked. It was too early for Woolsey so he stuck his eye to the peephole. John, and thankfully fully dressed again. He briefly entertained the idea of not answering though he knew his partner wouldn't buy it.

"_Lorne?_"

"Yeah."

"_Wanna open the door?_" He heard John shuffle his feet. "_Lorne?_"

After some thought, Evan twisted the lock, removed the chain, and turned the knob, the door creaking as it swung inward. "What's up?"

"That's what _I_ wanna know." He looked down and saw the towel wrapped around his partner's hand, little spots of blood seeping through. "What the hell happened?"

Lifting the injured appendage as if he'd forgotten about it, Evan snorted, repeating John's earlier untrue statement. "Cut myself shaving. What do you _want_, Sheppard? I was about to take a nap."

"Woolsey called. They'll be here soon."

"Thanks for the update." He started to close the door, John's hand coming up to stop it.

"Sure you're okay?"

"Why _wouldn't_ I be?" John didn't believe him but he didn't really care. He just wanted to be alone.

The door closed and he went back to the desk. Taking the water to the window, he watched as several trucks labeled Chicken Chester's Parties and More pulled into the parking lot confusing him until he saw that one of the "drivers" was Woolsey.

Though he knew it wouldn't matter to his boss or the medical team, he brushed his teeth then sat down to wait for another knock on the door.

~~O~~

Jack and Arthur stood as Evan and John stepped out of the elevator. In addition to his duffle bag, John was carrying a paper box from which issued an irritated series of meows.

John rolled his eyes and showed the bandage on his arm. "I tried to leave her with the Waligorskis but she dug her claws in and wouldn't let go."

Grinning, Jack lifted the top off and reached inside to pet Sparky. "Like or not, son, you belong to her now. I know you'll take good care of each other."

"Just make sure I have your number in case I need to ask questions." Setting the box on the sofa, John took out his phone and handed it to Jack. By the time it was returned, Sparky had tried to get out of the box three times, only staying in if John rubbed her ears. For his obedience to her demands, he was rewarded with a loud purr.

Addressing Evan, Jack asked, "So you'll continue to do that thing with your eyes and voice?"

A shrug of one shoulder, Evan nodded, adding a sheepish grin. "So the doc tells me. I'll get used to it soon enough, I suppose."

"Mr. Woolsey needn't have asked us to sign the non-disclosure agreements. Jack and I wouldn't tell anyone what happened." Arthur didn't appear to be as annoyed as his words indicated. "No one would believe us and the church board would have me dismissed."

Returning his attention to the younger men, Jack's eyes examined Evan closely. "How about doing it once more before you go?"

Evan exchanged a glance with John who just shrugged as he once again put Sparky back in her box. Nodding, Evan stared at John as he took deep breaths, his eyes widening until they flashed. "It was interesting meeting you though I would have liked the circumstances to have been different." He shook hands with the two older men waiting while John did the same.

"Maybe we'll join your fishing trip next year."

"Be glad to have you. Now you boys take care."

The younger men exchanged an amused glance then looked back at Jack and Arthur. "No promises."

~~O~~

With Evan driving, John was able to devote all his time to keeping Sparky entertained. Not that that had been his intention, but she refused to stay in the box and when they left her out she tried to climb all over the truck's interior even getting under Evan's feet while he was driving. Eventually, she went to sleep on John's lap and stayed that way until they stopped for gas and to stretch their legs. She began crying and wouldn't stop even when John rubbed the sweet spot between her eyes. "What d'you think's wrong with her?"

Evan glanced over at his partner then back to the road. The sun was nearly down turning the clouds and horizon an orangey-pink mixed with shades of purple. "When did you feed her last?"

"Three hours ago, maybe. She probably needs water and to do her, you know, business too, I guess."

Spotting a pet store, they pulled in and, with Sparky in his arms, John went to the cat food aisle in the back, however, there were so many different kinds of food, he had no idea what to get her. Whipping out his phone, he located the contact marked "Cat Info" and dialed. A voice too young to be Jack's answered.

"_Autopsy_."

John only just kept himself from hanging up thinking he'd dialed the wrong number. "Who am I speaking to?"

"_Jimmy Palmer, Dr. Mallard's assistant. Would you like to speak to him?_"

Handing Sparky to Evan, John held the phone so both could hear. "Sure."

Jimmy called for out for Dr. Mallard who John assumed was a veterinarian. If that were true, what was he doing in a morgue? A cultured British voice came on the line. "_Dr. Mallard._"

"My name's John Sheppard. I was given this number by Jack Gibbs. Are you a veterinarian?"

A soft chuckle came over the line. "_Oh, my, no. I'm a pathologist working for the Naval Criminal Investigative Services out of Norfolk, Virginia. Jack Gibbs is the __pater familias__ of our fearless leader, one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I suspect that Jack was simply having a bit of fun at your expense._"

"Oh." John didn't know what else to say.

"_What seems to be the problem? I am quite well versed on many subjects not within the realm of my work for Jethro and the United States government._"

Again Evan shrugged when John gave him a questioning look. "I, uh, just got this cat and have no idea what to feed her. Any help would be appreciated, Dr. Mallard."

"_My dear boy __that__ is an easy puzzle to solve. And call me Ducky._" The pathologist questioned John extensively on the age, gender, weight and breed of cat before making recommendations.

Relieved, John started to thank Ducky but he continued to talk, seemingly without taking a breath.

"_Did you know, John, that the __history of our modern-day cat, __Felis silvestris catus__, begins with her descent from one of five separate wild cats: the Sardinian wildcat, the European wildcat, the Central Asian wildcat, the sub-Saharan African wildcat, and the Chinese desert cat?" _

He didn't give John a chance to answer, continuing as if he were lecturing a class.

"_Each of these species is a distinctive subspecies of __Felis silvestris__. __Genetic analysis__ suggests that all domestic cats derive from at least five founder cats from the Fertile Crescent region, from whence they, or rather their descendants, were transported around the world._

"_T__he oldest archaeological evidence for domesticated cats was found…are you still there, John? Good. Now where was I? Ah, yes. __T__he oldest archaeological evidence for domesticated cats was found on the Greek island of Cyprus, where several animal species, including cats, were introduced by 7500 BC. Further, at the Neolithic site of Shillourokambos, a purposeful cat burial was found next to a human burial, dated between 9500-9200 years before the present…Jimmy? Hand me that bone saw, please. As I was saying…"_

**TBC**

**A/N:** The info on how to do the sleeper hold came from a video found on About dot com.

Included in this chapter were lines quoted from the movie _Daniel's Lot_ (2010) starring Gary Burghoff, Dominick Shaw and Lindsey McCabe.

The history of cat info was taken almost word for word from "Cats History and Domestication: The History of the Domestic Cat" on About dot com.


	29. A Walking Shadow

**A/N:** I would like to thank ladygris for all her help with this chapter. One particular…incident was for her benefit. She knows which one I mean. ;-)

I think dwparsnip helped too but don't remember.

Haven't heard from Shadows-of-Realm for a while.

Gracias,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 29**

**A Walking Shadow**

**NCIS**

**Autopsy Room**

Gibbs stepped out of the elevator, his pace fast but not rushed. He'd get there when he got there. The automatic doors to the autopsy room hissed open, the smell of chemicals as easy to ignore as the cool temperature. Two men were standing over a dead body, the skin and muscles of the chest peeled back to reveal the internal organs. The older man cradled a reddish-brown organ in both hands as he slipped it onto the scale.

"What've you got for me, Ducky?"

"Ah, Jethro, you're just in time. I just received the strangest phone call. Someone named John Sheppard is apparently acquainted with your father, though why Gibbs Senior would give him _this_ number and not his own I wasn't able to discover. It seems this young man recently acquired a _cat_ and had no idea how to care for her. So naturally I…"

Gibbs interrupted, his blue eyes squinting slightly in annoyance. "I meant the _case_, Duck."

"Oh. Yes, of course. Well, sorry to disappoint you, Jethro, but this perfect human specimen of the few and the proud died of natural causes."

"You're sure?"

"Indeed I am." Gesturing Gibbs closer, he pointed to the organ on the scale. "It's his liver. Look at the _ligamentum venosum_ and you'll see what I'm talking about…"

**Somewhere Along the Gulf Coast**

"What's wrong with her, doc? Why's her stomach all bloated? She looks like she swallowed a tennis ball." John watched Sparky being examined by the veterinarian. He'd already taken her temperature and weight. Now he had a stethoscope pressed to her chest.

The man removed the stethoscope and set it aside then lifted the small cat's head so he could check her teeth. She didn't like that and said so. "Just how much have you been feeding her, Mr. Sheppard?"

John shrugged. "Not sure. She's hungry _all _the time."

Now the vet was examining her tattered left ear and chuckling. "She's a _cat_. No matter how much you feed them, most cats think they're on the edge of starvation. It's up to you to control when and how much they eat."

"I can _do _that?"

"Can and _should_. And make sure she gets plenty of water and exercise. Though at her age, that won't be a problem." Sparky seemed to be fascinated by the vet's beard and long hair. While he gave John explicit instructions as to food and water intake as well as exercise, he carefully untangled her needle-sharp claws from the front of his lab coat. He sent the two of them away with samples of food, cat treats, flea meds, a temporary carrier, and a congratulations-on-your-new-pet kit.

Lorne was in the waiting room. He helped John carry the supplies and carrier to the truck and put them in the back seat.

"What'd he say?"

His hand out for the keys, John looked annoyed. "She's eating too much." He started the truck and pulled into traffic, coming to a stop at the light.

Not bothering to hide his smirk, Lorne glanced into the back seat where Sparky had decided to accept her fate…for now. "Told you so."

~~O~~

For such a small cat, Sparky had a loud voice, the high pitch making John and Evan cringe. It wasn't that anything was wrong with her aside from being in the carrier. It was more that she didn't like their music preferences. John liked Country and Evan liked Classic Rock with a little Contemporary Christian thrown in now and then. Sparky preferred Jazz so at the moment they were listening to Peggy Lee belt out "Fever" and the cat was "singing" along.

Suddenly, John yanked the wheel hard to the right. Pulling into the parking lot of a music store, he screeched into the first spot he came to. He jumped out leaving the engine running and ignoring Lorne's questions, returning a short time later with a CD. He shoved it into the player, the radio cut out and the first track began to play. The velvety smooth voice of Nat King Cole performing "Stardust" came on and a few minutes later, to the relief of both men, the cat was asleep.

At John's nod, Evan took out a remote, hit the emergency transport key and they arrived, truck and all, in the 302 Bay of the _Daedalus_. An Air Force tech approached as John buzzed the window down.

"Agents," the tech greeted them. "Something wrong?"

"Area 52 outside the motor pool and hurry!"

"What's the rush?"

Pointing into the back seat at the sleeping cat, John asked, "Do _you_ wanna be here when she wakes up?"

The tech didn't respond, just tapped his headset. "Area 52. Go!"

The materialization had barely completed when Sparky began hissing and yowling. John and Evan jumped out and opened both back doors. The sound drew the attention of the maintenance crew, Alvin, Barney and Ruddy, who watched with amusement. When Evan reached for the carrier, it began shaking as she whirled and clawed at the inside causing the other men to laugh.

Backing away from the vehicle, Evan said, "It's all you, Sheppard."

John carefully pulled out the carrier and set it on the ground. He'd replaced the cardboard one with a firm-sided carrier so she wouldn't be crowded. Unhooking the latch he eased it open. But before he could reach inside, Sparky shot through the opening as if from a cannon growling and screeching threats to all who could hear.

She ignored everyone, including John, bolted into the hangar that served as the motor pool maintenance area and promptly disappeared. He chased after her, peering under vehicles and into corners. Trouble was, she was small and the hangar was very large. It was a scary place for a human, much less a cat. He tried calling her offering belly rubs and copious amounts of treats if she'd come out but it didn't work.

The maintenance men tried to go back to work but John refused to allow them to enter until he'd found Sparky and just to keep the peace with his partner, Lorne helped him.

~~O~~

It had been dark for a couple of hours now and still John sat on the hard floor outside the motor pool office waiting for Sparky to come out. Evan had lasted about an hour. Ruddy, Alvin and Barney even less. He'd opened a can of her food and put out a bowl of water hoping that would entice her.

Dora brought him a sandwich, chips and water. He'd thanked her absently setting it all aside. He didn't see her stop at the door giving him one last sad glance before closing it behind her.

Eventually his hunger got the best of him. He reached for the sandwich. Tuna. Not his favorite but he was too tired and worried to care at the moment. The wrapping crinkled as he ripped it open and extracted one half. He'd only taken one bite when he heard the plaintive meow coming from his left. "Sparky?"

Her answer was another meow, this one more inquiring as she cautiously made her way over to him. Prying the bread apart, he scooped out some of the tuna and laid it on floor so she could lap it up. When she finished that, he gave her more and kept repeating until she'd eaten the filling from both halves.

After a quick face and whisker cleaning, she sat next to him, her tail curled around her paws. Scooping her up in one hand, he stood, cuddling her close to his chest as he let them into the building and carried her to his…their room.

Someone, John guessed it was Dora, had set up Sparky's box in the bathroom. He put her down and she rushed to utilize it while he changed his clothes. She emerged from the bathroom and stood in the middle of the room sniffing the air of this strange place then jumped up beside him on the bed.

The past few nights she'd curled up against his side to sleep but tonight she lay on the pillow, her head on his shoulder, closed her eyes and went right to sleep purring softly. Before long, John had followed her.

**In the Morning**

John's attention was taken from watching the new addition to the shrink's office, a pair of goldfish swimming in circles, when Tish crossed her legs. Today she was wearing slacks and a sleeveless top. She clicked the pen in her hand and held it poised over the pad resting on her knee. "You've made wonderful progress in the months you've been here, John. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, doc. It's easy to talk to you. Almost as if you know what I need to talk about."

"That's flattering. But let's see if you still feel that way at the end of this session."

John didn't like the tone of her voice though it hadn't really changed. "Why?"

"Because today…" her eyes met his, "…we're going to talk about Field Medic Caitlin O'Connor."

**Atlantis**

**Caldwell's Office**

Caldwell looked up at the knock on his office door. Radek stood there, his glasses sliding down his nose and a tablet cradled in the crook of one arm. He gestured the nervous man in. "What can I do for you, Dr. Zelenka?"

"I have come to speak to you about the next phase in the interface project. We will need someone with a very strong naturally occurring ATA gene in order for the work to continue."

"Dr. Beckett's your man."

Pushing his glasses back up, Radek shifted his feet. "Dr. Beckett's is indeed the strongest on the base, at this time. However, I am told that there are others with stronger genes that are able to use the Ancient technology instinctively."

"If you're talking about Special Agent Sheppard…"

"Maybe at a later time. I would like to have the services of Special Agent Lorne, if you can arrange it."

Sitting back in his chair, Caldwell stared at Radek so long he began to fidget. "How soon would you need him and for how long?"

Excitement showed in the Czech's face. "If he can arrive in the next forty-eight hours and remain here at least three days that would be sufficient for now."

**Area 52**

**Employee Overnight Area**

**Room 2B**

After his session with Tish, John had planned on going into town to rent a tux for the conference, but now he didn't feel like doing anything. He went to his room, kicked off his shoes and lay down on the bed staring up at the ceiling not really seeing it. Scratching in the bathroom indicated that Sparky was up and around.

Having her with him was still odd. In all his life he'd never had a pet unless you counted the horses his family kept and sometimes raced. They had grooms to take care of them so no, the horses didn't count.

The urge to get into a poker game swelled within him but he couldn't summon the strength to get up and go. Sparky got on the bed but he ignored her.

~~O~~

Sparky heard him come into the room from her napping spot in the middle of the mat in the bathroom. Though she was excited that he was home early, she reined it in so he wouldn't get too full of himself. He'd tried to teach her the name he had for himself not knowing that she'd already given him one that was special between them and not to be shared with another.

Taking her time in the sandbox, she eventually sauntered out and jumped onto the bed waiting patiently for him to rub her ears and neck just as he always did. When he didn't, she reached out one fuzzy paw to touch the back of his hand where it lay on his stomach because sometimes he pretended he didn't know she was there. It was a game they played. But he still hadn't reacted which meant something was wrong so she tried another way to get his attention.

She made a small leap, landing on his chest. He yelped when she accidentally dug her back claws in and the next thing she knew he'd come to sitting position, both hands wrapped around her belly.

"Get the hell away from me, cat!" And without so much as a word of apology, he dropped her off the side of the bed.

The situation required additional thought so Sparky jumped first in the chair then onto the desk. Nosing aside the blinds, she got on the window sill and stared out at the desert. Her ears flicked backward as she heard him moving around on the bed getting comfortable again.

From the moment she'd seen him at the door during the horrible rain that seemed as it would never stop, she knew that _he_ was the one whom she was destined to spend the rest of her days watching over, protecting and providing comfort. It was something she'd learned from her mother before being sent out into the world so long ago. She'd been the last of her siblings to leave, wanting to stay with her mother as long as possible, to learn from her.

And now it was time to put those teachings into practice. Making a tight turn in the confined space between the glass and the shade, she stepped daintily onto the desk, walking around the few items placed haphazardly on its surface. Stopping long enough to sniff the flat cold rectangular object that warmed when he was using it, she wondered what the fascination was. She'd watched him touch the little squares and designs flow across the top part but was none the wiser.

Twitching her tail, she looked at the bed where he was now on his side facing away from her, the sheet pulled up to his neck. He needed consoling and reassurance, and lots of it. She could sense it the moment he'd come into the room.

Jumping lightly to the floor, she went back to the bed, leapt onto the nearest corner and walked up to the pillow. She draped her upper body on his neck, feeling the tension in his body just from that small sample. Laying her head between her paws, she purred like there was no tomorrow and eventually he began to relax, his breathing slowing.

Sleep had almost claimed her when his hand reached up to rub her ears. Sighing, she knew she'd done her mother proud, and that made her feel good.

~~O~~

Evan tossed two sets of Bantos rods on the bench with his towel and water then moved to the mat for his warm-up stopping when his friend, a Marine Sergeant, entered carrying a pair of quarterstaffs.

"Cooper."

"Lorne. Ready for a butt-whoopin'?"

He grinned, watching as she twirled her long chestnut-colored hair into a bun. "Only if you are. So which first? Bantos or quarterstaff?"

"Bantos. I think I'm gettin' the hang of it."

Passing her a set, the ones he'd borrowed from Sheppard, he swung his around in circles showing off just a little. "I've only been doing this a short time so I'm probably not the best one to be teaching it."

"Well, until that little Pegasus firecracker makes a trip here, you're all I've got. Let's get to it."

He rolled his eyes at her apt description of Teyla and moved into the ready stance. They saluted and the fighting began.

Cooper was close in height to Evan and nearly as strong. Tough, opinionated, funny and a closet romantic who cried at sad movies. She was also supermodel beautiful with naturally tanned skin a few shades darker than Evan's, light brown eyes, and an incredible insight into what made him tick. In short, she was exactly the sort of woman he'd be interested in if he hadn't met Teyla.

Not that they'd been headed in that direction before he'd gone to Atlantis. She was a go-with-the-flow kind of girl, uh, Marine, one who wasn't looking for a long-term relationship beyond the platonic.

And they were both fine with that.

~~O~~

Even with Sparky's purring to relax him, John still felt like a walking shadow, without substance, transient, gone with the setting of the sun. He'd told Tish things he'd never even verbalized to himself in the years since the crash.

She'd only asked about Caitlin, nothing else. In fact, she'd purposely steered him to things like her physical description, likes, dislikes, favorite color, high school, college, enlistment in the military, pets she'd had as a child. In short, anything that would tell her not only what sort of person _Cait_ had been, but how well he knew her. And that, apparently, told her how he felt about the woman he'd purportedly disobeyed orders to rescue.

Nudging the cat from his neck, he kicked the sheet off and sat up, rubbing his face with both hands. Slipping his shoes on again, he reached into the bedside table for his cell and wallet. No, he wouldn't get into a card game, but a beer sounded really good.

~~O~~

Cooper used a towel to blot the sweat from her face and neck. It had been a good workout and they'd both learned a few lessons today. Lorne wasn't a natural at the quarterstaff, but with practice he'd get better.

They'd become good friends since he'd come to work at Area 52 going to the occasional movie together. She enjoyed their workouts and knew he did too. After he'd gone to Atlantis, he'd come back…different. No doubt caused by the woman he'd met there. It had taken some doing but he finally admitted to the attraction. But she knew there was more to it than that.

And then there was the fact that he now had a comatose symbiote inside his head. The day after his and Sheppard's return from Florida, she and Lorne had been sparring with quarterstaffs. She'd gotten in a lucky shot rapping him on the knuckles. His eyes had flashed startling her just for a moment. He'd made an embarrassed apology in that Goa'uld voice then it was back to business.

Now she had another item she wanted to speak to him about. "Hey, Lorne. I hear tell you need a date for the big shindig in DC."

He took a drink of water then wiped his mouth on the corner of his towel. "Yeah, so?"

"I'll go with ya. Just as a friend." She stretched her triceps, first the left, then the right.

He turned his head to the side watching her. "You won't beat the crap out of me if I say no, will you?"

"Course not. But remember what they say about a woman scorned." She grinned and he returned it.

Shrugging, he nodded. "We're going up the night before. That okay with you?"

"Yeah. Ya know, maybe we should call each other by our first names for this thing."

"Sounds like a plan…Roberta."

Cooper growled. "_No one_ calls me Roberta. Not even my folks."

Evan's hands came up in surrender. "So what _should_ I call you?"

"Bobbie. And I'll call you Evan." Cooper stood up to stretch her hamstrings. "Just so you know, I don't get down and dirty on the first date."

"This isn't exactly a first date." She looked at him from between her knees as she touched her toes, one eyebrow lifted when she saw the glint of humor in his blue eyes and it made him grin. "But I'll leave the fuzzy handcuffs at home just the same."

With a very overplayed expression of shock, she said, "Fuzzy? You were a _cop_, Lorne. Why didn't you use the real things?"

Evan balled up his sweaty towel and threw it at her eliciting a squeal of disgust. She used it to snap him on the backside resulting in a playful shoving match on the way to the locker room.

~~O~~

Tish made notes on her ever-present writing pad while Evan talked about joining with the symbiote. He still had some issues with it, namely controlling the flashes when his emotions were strong. She gave him a CD of music, a DVD on meditation and the name of a Yoga instructor.

"Evan, have you spoken to John about Lee, told him the true nature of your relationship?"

He dropped his eyes to the floor, rubbing his hands together. "No. I've heard the rumors and have been waiting for a good time to tell him. I thought we'd have a chance while stuck in that hotel but…" he shrugged. "If you have advice, I'd like to hear it."

She nodded. "Any relationship, even that of partners on the job will benefit from keeping the lines of communication open. Just pick a time when the two of you are alone together, in the gym, driving into town, traveling to a mission, and in a calm and rational tone of voice, lay it all out for him."

"I will." At her dubious look, he sighed. "Soon."

~~O~~

Woolsey had approved the request that appeared on his workstation with a very high priority then sent a message to Sheila to have the concerned party notified. Not long after, he heard her door open and close, her soft footsteps whispering on the hall carpeting and smiled. She was outspoken, laidback and had a wicked sense of humor. She was also the best assistant he'd ever had. He was pleased with himself for asking her to be his best "man" at his upcoming wedding.

Checking the time, he got up and went to meet his fiancée for lunch.

~~O~~

Sheila knew where Evan would be this time of day. He always worked out between ten and eleven in the morning when not on a mission after which, he showered, responded to emails then went to lunch in the Commissary. And sure enough, there he was with Cooper, Withers and Bagwell. They were laughing at something and from the look on his face it probably had something to do with John.

"Evan, Dr. Zelenka has requested your presence on Atlantis. He'd like you there as soon as possible."

"Zelenka? Why me?"

"No idea. He made the request and the boss approved it. Don't _blame_ the messenger." Her left eyebrow was lifted cheekily.

He gave in gracefully. "Okay." He took his leave and followed her out. "So, Sheila, I heard a rumor."

"Which one?"

Clasping his hands behind his back, he tried to keep a serious mien but she wasn't buying it because he was a poor salesman. "You and the new assistant director. Something going on there you wanna tell me about?" To Evan's surprise she actually blushed.

"Well, um, we've had lunch together a few times and dinner once." Her hands began twisting together so she shoved them in the pockets of her slacks to stop them. "He's been a perfect gentleman, if that's what you were thinking."

"I wasn't, but thanks for the info. What I wanted to say now that you've confirmed the rumor is good luck."

They came to a stop at the junction between where he was headed and the locked hallway back to her office. "Thanks. Same to you."

"Excuse me?"

Sheila didn't answer, just grinned at him. "Bye."

**Atlantis**

Trying to remember the way to Radek's lab, Evan walked slower than normal. If he remembered right, he took the next left then a right at the end of the corridor, up the stairs and around the first corner.

"Evan."

He turned at the sound of his name knowing who it would be. Letting his features fall into their accustomed blasé mask but with a small smile of welcome, he turned to face her. "Teyla." His eyes dropped down and back to her face. Today she was wearing the expedition uniform, gray slacks, gray shirt and jacket with colored insets, her feet tucked into boots. And like himself she kept her expression neutral, but whether from her years of being a leader or because she didn't want him to know what she was thinking, he couldn't tell. Not that it mattered. "You're looking well." _Oh, great, Lorne! Why don't you tell her she has nice table manners too?_

"As are you. Jennifer told me you would be visiting again and I hoped we'd have a chance to speak." Her eyes darted over his face coming back to his eyes. "I looked for you to see if you would care to have dinner with me tonight in my quarters?"

Remembering the scene he'd witnessed the last time he was here, and though he wanted to, Evan shook his head, shifting his feet. "I…that wouldn't be a good idea."

"Because…"

_She's gonna make me say it. _"Because you belong to someone else."

Clasping her hands together in front of her, she glanced down, allowing him a moment of reprieve from her all-knowing stare. "Kanaan and I are no longer together. He has ended our relationship, and has returned to live with our people on New Athos."

"I'm sorry to hear that." And he was, strange as it may seem.

"Of course." Teyla inclined her head in acceptance of his regret. "That is your way."

Evan resisted a shrug, waiting for her to say more. When she didn't, he thought again of their workout and the things he'd wanted, knowing it wouldn't be right to give in. "Then you know more about me than I know about myself." He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "I, uh, need to get to the lab. Dr. Zelenka's expecting me."

Her eyes darkened with irritation. "Do not change the subject, Evan."

"I'm not. Not really. I _do_ have to go." In his mind he knew he should already be gone, but his body wouldn't obey his commands. "Look, I'm sorry if I caused trouble between you and Kanaan. You should try to work things out with him." He didn't know if she knew that her former boyfriend had been about to pop the question and didn't mention it. "I'm sure everything will be fine if you can just talk."

The irritation slowly vanished, replaced by another emotion that he couldn't decipher. "Perhaps you are right." Placing her hands on his shoulders, she tilted her head down and they touched their foreheads together. "May the Ancestors watch over you and the ones you love, Evan, son of Susan and Richard."

"And you as well, Teyla, daughter of Tagan and Torren."

Evan lifted his head, their eyes meeting once again, her hands still on his shoulders. His hands wrapped around her upper arms, intent on moving her away from him but instead, he drew her close, slowly in case this wasn't something she wanted. He did as he'd wanted to do since the moment they met.

He knew when his eyes flashed from a ripple of something inside that he couldn't put a name to. They did it when he was under emotional stress and this more than qualified. And with the flash always came the voice so he didn't speak as he lowered his head toward hers.

~~O~~

The bottom dropped out of Teyla's stomach when Evan told her she should speak to Kanaan about getting back together.

When she heard Evan was coming, she'd made the decision to travel that road not taken. She wanted to tell him that she'd been with Kanaan because he represented safety. He loved her and she him, but his presence did not inspire her to take chances, risk her heart. There was no…fire. Kanaan was safe whereas Evan, just by entering her world, had changed everything. He made her want with an urgency that frightened her.

Now, as his head moved slowly toward hers, she tilted her face up, offering her lips. When the light flashed in his eyes, she nearly pushed him away, having heard of the Goa'uld and their quest for domination in the Milky Way. But it had been explained to her how he'd come to be joined and she couldn't bring herself to leave him.

He accepted her offer, tentatively at first. Her eyes fluttered closed and she sighed, as did he. One of his hands touched her cheek, a gentle stroke that made her sigh again.

~~O~~

Teyla's long drawn out sigh as their lips touched was Evan's undoing. Suddenly, she was in his arms, her small hands wrapped around his neck and her slender body pressed to his, this time with no Bantos rods to separate them. His hands slid up and down her back trying to find some purchase in a world that had begun to spin out of control. He felt them beginning to fall and turned them, one hand slapping the wall to keep them upright and to keep his weight off of her. A voice repeatedly called his name, but it came from far away as if he were imagining it and was easily ignored.

When his lungs demanded oxygen, only then did he pull back from their kiss. Her eyes opened, the long dark lashes dropping for just a moment before boldly meeting his. In them he saw not regret, but desire. And not _just_ desire. It was an appeal, a plea for him to continue. Instead, he released her, took a step back, one hand rubbing his face, his eyes wide as if unable to believe what he'd just done. Suddenly, the voice he'd been hearing achieved clarity. Radek had been calling him to the lab. "Oh, _crap!_"

He ignored Teyla's startled look at the sound of his Goa'uld voice. Turning away from her, he jogged down the hall to the corner. Getting himself under control with an effort, he tapped his headset, relieved that his voice was normal again. "This is Lorne. On my way."

~~O~~

After spending all day in the lab with Radek and his team, Evan was drained, physically and mentally. Until a few weeks ago he hadn't known about the ATA gene and now he was being used as a guinea pig to create an interface so that those without the gene could use the technology as well. Yawning, he entered the transport on the science level and got out just a few doors from his room. Someone called his name before he'd gone more than a few steps.

"Evan Lorne."

Though he didn't recognize the voice, the tone was familiar. This person was spoiling for a fight and Evan was _not_ in the mood. He turned and was confronted with Teyla's ex, Kanaan. His dark eyes were narrowed dangerously, fists clenched at his sides. Taller even than Sheppard, he presented an imposing figure. Or he might have at any other time, but he wasn't dealing with just any Earth human.

"I would speak with you about Teyla. Now!"

**TBC**


	30. Unplanned Moments

**A/N:** I would like to thank ladygris for all her assistance with this chapter. She had great ideas and helps me turn my "meh" ideas into great ones as well. God Bless!

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 30**

**Unplanned Moments**

Employing meditation techniques from the DVD he'd gotten from Tish, Evan was just barely able to keep the Goa'uld eye-flash from occurring as he turned to face the man who'd given up a lifetime with an amazing woman. He hadn't planned on ever speaking to the man and now here he was being forced to do so. "Help you with something?"

"I am Kanaan. Teyla and I were to be joined until you came to Atlantis."

Evan attempted an apology. "I'm sorry. I never…"

"What are your intentions?"

"Excuse me?"

"She has no family aside from what remains of our people. It is in place of her family that I ask what plans you have for the future with Teyla." Kanaan had not relaxed his stance and Evan followed his lead.

"Teyla and I barely know each other. And as far as my intentions toward her are concerned, they are none of your business." Evan turned to go, stopping when Kanaan grabbed his arm and spun him around.

"You _will_ tell me!"

Looking pointedly at Kanaan's grip on his arm, Evan, with the utmost calm, peeled the other man's fingers away. "I'm not telling you _squat_ except that you should take this up with _her_. She's an adult and more than capable of speaking on her own behalf. In fact, I think she'd prefer it."

Some of the stiffness went out of Kanaan's spine, his hand dropping to his side. "She and I have already spoken. After my anger at what I perceived as infidelity was spent, I returned prepared to present her with a token."

"And?"

Casting his eyes downward, Kanaan shrugged-an Earth gesture he'd no doubt learned from the Atlantis personnel. "I believe your people would say she…kicked me to the curb."

"I'm sorry," Evan told him sincerely.

"I believe you. But that does not answer my question. What are your intentions?"

"As I told you before, my _intentions_ are none of your business. Now if you don't mind, I need a shower, food and sleep, in that order." Turning to go, Evan was again stopped by Kanaan but this time the hand that spun him around was followed by a strong uppercut. Evan stumbled back, falling onto one of the benches that lined the halls of the city.

The anger he'd managed to suppress until now rushed through him as if it were a flood headed for a rope bridge and just as dangerous. His eyes flashed as he launched himself at Kanaan catching the taller man in a body slam he'd perfected playing high school and college football. The impact of their combined weight hitting the wall produced a grunt from Kanaan and a growl from Evan.

Though the men were both warriors, their emotions took over and the conflict turned into an old fashioned barroom brawl.

Kanaan's fists came down on Evan's shoulders forcing him to pull back. He was pursued out into the open area at the three-way junction, the other man's eyes narrowing dangerously as he drew back his right arm in preparation for a roundhouse that was meant to knock Evan unconscious. What he got instead was a forearm block with the left and a punch to the solar plexus from the right.

Doubling over, Kanaan was in the perfect position to slam his shoulder into Evan's chest, but Evan sidestepped and Kanaan hit the wall with a thud. Spinning around, the Athosian pushed off the wall, dropping into a boxing posture, again probably learned from someone in the expedition. Copying him, Evan did the same, body turned to present his strong right, feet shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent. They circled each other, dancing forward to strike then retreating again, pummeling each other.

Both had split lips. Kanaan's cheek had been scratched by his face-first impact with the wall and Evan had the beginnings of a black eye. And neither of them noticed that they had drawn a crowd.

Chuck moved through them taking bets, entering them into a handheld device of Ancient design half the size of an iPad. Conversations came and went as people changed allegiances from Evan to Kanaan and back over and over.

Activity came to a stunned halt, the sudden silence almost deafening, when a deep and commanding voice shouted, "Stop!"

All faces turned toward Caldwell, a squad of armed Marines behind him. The military personnel came to attention while the scientists merely looked chagrined at getting caught wagering on a fist fight. The expedition commander didn't say anything for a long time, his eyes scanning the crowd taking note of who was there committing the names and faces to memory. "Captain Garcia, see to it that these two gentlemen are taken to the Infirmary. Once their injuries have been attended to, Kanaan is to return to New Athos and Special Agent Lorne is to be taken to his quarters. For the remainder of his stay, he is to be escorted to Dr. Zelenka's lab, the Mess Hall and the Gym. Nowhere else. Am I clear?"

"Crystal, sir."

"Sergeant Campbell. Front and center." The crowd parted and Chuck came to attention. "There will be no more book-making while I'm in command."

"Yes, sir," came the sheepish reply. It was followed by a muted groan from the assembled group.

Caldwell made an about face and disappeared from sight leaving the dark-headed Marine Captain, backed up by his squad, in charge. He gestured Evan and Kanaan toward the left hallway. "You heard the Colonel. Let's go." The subdued and disappointed crowd parted, closing ranks behind them and watching in dismay as Chuck deleted their bets one at a time.

~~O~~

Teyla hadn't been present during the fight between Kanaan and Evan though many had made it their business to be sure she heard the story, and in great detail. When the most recent person came to her, a member of the science department under Rodney, she shut the man down, sending him scurrying for the exit.

Radek had just passed her without even looking up from his tablet and she was in the Gym, so that left only one place Evan could be. Shoving her Bantos rods into her gym bag, she headed for the Mess Hall.

As she approached Evan sitting with several of the scientists, she also noted that a guard discretely stood watch, his eyes seeming to look into the distance though she knew better.

"Evan, may we speak?"

He glanced at his companions then over his shoulder at his guard. "Sure." Pushing away from the table, he followed her out onto the patio. The guard automatically fell in behind them but when he tried to leave the Mess Hall, Teyla stopped him.

"We wish to have a _private_ conversation, Sergeant."

"But…" the young man gulped when she hit him with a glare. "Yes, ma'am."

It was a rare cloudy night signaling that rain would fall before morning. Teyla could smell it in the breeze that flowed over her skin, rippling her hair and the panels of her skirt. A slight glow high in the sky came from one of the moons though not strong enough to create shadows.

"Tell me what happened between you and Kanaan." She could see he was trying to keep his features in a neutral aspect, but she knew him, had known him since the moment they met. "It is not in your nature to pick a fight."

Fingering his black eye, the same one that had been blackened in his fight with Sheppard, he glanced at her. "I know. And I'm sorry." She watched several emotions flit through his blue eyes, never settling on one. "But _he_ started it."

~~O~~

Though he'd meant it tongue-in-cheek, Evan knew it was the wrong thing to say by the way her feet moved. The toes flexed, a small indication that the rest of her had stiffened in anger. How had he gotten to know her so well after only a few encounters? His eyes came back to hers, seeing that they'd become even darker with the strength of her emotions.

"You are a strong man, Evan. To blame your actions on another is a sign of weakness, and I did not believe you capable of such a thing. It lacks honor and self-control. Both of which I know you to possess in abundance. Please do not insult us both by blaming Kanaan."

He didn't respond to her criticism because he knew she was right. Closing his eyes, he prayed for guidance to say the words that would diminish her irritation with him _and_ Kanaan but nothing came to him. When he opened his eyes again, she was gone.

**Area 52**

Despite the presence of Sparky and her efforts to cheer him up, John still felt…disconnected, out of touch with those around him. He thought again of going into town for a beer. It was becoming a habit he'd have to stop or risk becoming an alcoholic.

After checking on the cat, he picked up his wallet and phone on the way to the door, almost jumping when he saw Angel standing there, one hand upraised to knock.

"Hey. Heard you had an addition to the family. Thought I'd stop in and meet her."

At seeing her smile, his stomach did a little flip and he immediately felt better than he had in days. He stood back to let her in, drawing her over to the bed where Sparky was sleeping in the exact center, her tattered ear held aloft as if it were a flag of honor. His voice low, he said, "Found her at the hotel. And you know what's weird?"

"What?" Angel leaned down to look closer at the bright orange ear with the uneven edges long healed.

"I've been feeding her and stuff, but I get the idea that _she's_ taking care of _me_, not the other way around."

Shrugging, Angel faced him. "Never had a pet." Watching his face as he looked at the cat she could see that he had found something to care about besides himself. Taking on the care of a pet was a long-term commitment, and the fact that he'd done so willingly was a major step forward from the man she'd first met over a dead body. "I hope the two of you will be very happy together."

One side of his mouth turned upward. "Strange as it may seem, I think we are."

"So where you headed?"

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, John gestured for Angel to go ahead of him and softly closed the door behind him. "To rent a tux for the DC conference. You?"

"Stopped to see if you wanted to go to dinner. Just you and me." She bit her lip nervously. "Alone."

The thought of spending time with her caused another small thrill to tickle his stomach. "If that's your way of asking me on a date…I accept." He guided her toward the motor pool with a hand on the small of her back.

~~O~~

Doing her best to keep her breathing even, Jennifer waited while John checked out her favorite H3. She knew both he and Evan favored the pick-up, and it gave her a thrill that he chose the one he knew she preferred.

Waving to the guards, they pulled onto the Interstate. Once in town, they went to one of the many tuxedo rental shops where Jennifer watched him try on several different styles of tuxes wrinkling her nose at each one until, in self-defense, he finally tried on one in the classic style. When he came out of the changing room, she inhaled and forgot to exhale again he looked so handsome and…sexy. Like a movie star on Oscar night. As if he was meant to wear such clothing on a regular basis.

She'd finally read his full profile and found that he was the eldest son of Patrick Sheppard, the founder and CEO of Sheppard Industries, a multi-national research and development firm that had strong ties to the government. His brother ran the company now that their father had passed away. David Sheppard had taken his father's Fortune 500 Company and turned it into one of the world's most influential corporations. She was as certain as she could be that John had no idea how far entrenched in the Stargate program SI had become. With the demise of Devlin Medical Technologies, they not only made the components for most of the program's technology, but the medical supplies and equipment as well.

His industrialist father had disowned him just before he joined the Air Force and, to her knowledge, he hadn't seen his brother since. Had not even attended his father's funeral. It made her sad for him when she thought about never seeing her dad again. She sighed and put on a happy face she hoped he wouldn't see through knowing he wouldn't want her to pity him. And she didn't. But that didn't stop the sadness.

When the sales associate had completed fitting the tux, John and Jennifer walked back to the  
H3 where they debated the merits of a couple of restaurants, settling on a small bar and grill on the outskirts of town. It was situated far from the maddening crowd of gamblers and entertainers. A jukebox sat in the corner to one side of a stage for live entertainment, empty at the moment, and a small wooden floor encouraged couples to get up and dance.

~~O~~

"…I can't _believe_ you conned flying lessons from Dr. Rojas. _What_ were you thinking?" Jennifer let a small amount of disapproval seep into her voice. If Caldwell found out, they'd both be in trouble. Her for bringing him to Atlantis, and him just because the Colonel didn't like him.

He took a drink of his beer and set it aside, getting a faraway look in his eyes, and she knew he was once again back in Pegasus flying through space, the moons of New Lantea falling away and nothing but stars in front of him. "I was thinking that the moment I sat in the pilot's seat it was…it was like I'd finally found a place where I belonged, like the missing piece I'd been searching for all my life…had just found _me_."

Jennifer couldn't help being just a little resentful and mentally rolled her eyes at herself. She was jealous of a _machine_ that seemed to have taken her place in John's life. "So now you feel complete? Like all the pieces are in place?"

"I'm workin' on it."

He said it with his characteristic smirk, making her smile. Choosing to accept it as truth, she smiled, taking his hand in hers. His fingers twitched, as if he'd started to pull away then changed his mind. She watched the dancers, legs crossed and her foot swinging to the beat of Don McLean's "American Pie." When it ended, the lights dimmed and the couples moved into each other's arms as the soothing strains of Bill Withers' "Ain't No Sunshine" began.

~~O~~

Angel's eyes closed, a dreamy expression coming over features, and John knew, in that instant, that what he'd felt for Caitlin paled in comparison to the way he felt at this moment. Without letting go of her hand, he stood and led her to the dance floor. Gathering Angel into his arms, he brought her against his chest, their clasped hands tucked between them. Wisps of her hair brushed the side of his face as they swayed to the music.

He almost gasped out loud when her fingers touched the back of his neck, grazing the short hairs at the nape. Warm breath stroked his ear as she let her head rest on his shoulder. His palm on her upper back made a slow trek down her spine to her waist where he resisted letting it go any farther.

When the song ended he turned his head to whisper, "Let's get out of here." His idling arousal climbed higher when she softly said one word.

"Okay."

~~O~~

On a dark and secluded dirt road, far from the lights of the city, a black H3 was parked where it couldn't be seen from the road. Facing toward the ridges and mountains in the distance with a crescent moon above, the occupants were heedless of the beauty of the desert at night. Their focus was on each other rather than the outside world.

John sat in the front passenger seat pushed all the way back, Angel astride his lap. His arms held her tight to his chest, caressing her through her clothes, her hands in his hair as their lips and tongues battled. She gasped, just a short quick indrawn breath when his questing fingers slipped under the edge of her top to touch the smooth skin of her back. "Mmm. Angel."

Kissing along her jaw to the sensitive area below her ear produced another sound at once the same yet different from those she'd been making. When his teeth lightly nipped her earlobe, she said something that sounded like "promise me."

His eyes flew open and just for a second, Angel's face was replaced by another, one with light auburn hair and blue eyes. The vision was gone as quickly as it came, but that momentary peek into the past and the memory it carried with it had destroyed the mood. At least for him. He forced himself to remove Angel's hands from around his neck compelling her to lean back, the firm cheeks of her backside resting on the tops of his thighs.

"Is something wrong?" Her voice was concerned, more for him than for herself. He could feel it in her touch.

"No. I hadn't planned for this to happen. We should slow down before we lose control." His eyes wouldn't meet hers.

Her face, flushed with the insistent demands of her body, now showed confusion as well. "I don't understand. I thought you _wanted_ to…"

Equally exhilarated, he tried to calm his breathing. "I _do_. It's just…you deserve so much more than…" one hand waved at their surroundings, "…this."

Angel opened the door, the brightness of the dome light making them both blink as she climbed down to stand in the wedge of light cast in the darkness beside the SUV, one hand on the open door and the other on her hip. "So what _do_ I deserve?"

"To start with, more than a…tumble in the back seat of a car."

Her mouth turned up in a wry smile. "This isn't a car and we weren't in the back seat."

"Fair enough."

Crossing her arms, she leaned against the side. "What else you got, Sheppard?"

Stepping out to stand in front of her, he took her wrists and tugged until he could hold both hands. "You deserve a man who isn't haunted by a past that has left him scarred and afraid to give his heart away because the last time he did, she died without knowing how he much he cared.

"You deserve romance and flowers and music and champagne and dancing.

"You deserve strolls in the moonlight followed by long nights of making love.

"You deserve a man who would give you the moon if he could."

~~O~~

Jennifer's mouth had dropped open when he began his speech and the more he talked, the more she wanted him to say he would be the one to fulfill all of her wants and desires. But from the look in his eyes, that wasn't going to happen. Not tonight.

"John…"

"I'm sorry I can't be that man. Not yet. Maybe not ever. There are so many… unresolved issues I still have to work through before that can happen."

"But John, I…"

Moving out of her way, he helped her into the passenger seat, closed the door and got behind the wheel. They made the drive back to Area 52 in silence, not even the radio on, leaving Jennifer with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company. And they were lousy company. She'd almost told John she loved him and now she was glad she hadn't. He had enough to think about without having a lovesick female around further upsetting his mental apple cart.

He parked the H3 in its assigned space outside the motor pool then escorted her inside. She shook her head when he offered the use of his room just as he always did. Instead, she transported up to the _Daedalus_ where its commander, Kevin Marks, was more than happy to accommodate her request for a place to sleep, though sleep was the farthest thing from her mind.

The next day, she returned to Atlantis, burying herself so deep in research she didn't have time for worry and anxiety…and the possibility of heart-breaking disappointment.

**The Next Evening**

The night was like most nights in Nevada. Hot at first then cooling off once the sun had been down for a while. Still, John drove with the windows up and the a/c going. His left hand steered the pick-up, his cell gripped in his right hand. His thumb rubbed over the call log key, scrolling down to the number he'd tried a few weeks before and had just that morning added to his contact list, pressing just hard enough to dial. Bringing the phone to his ear, he waited, no idea what he would say if…

"_Sheppard._" Again his brother's voice caused the breath in his lungs to thicken and a prickling to start behind his eyes. "_John?_"

He almost dropped the phone. How could Dave know it was him?

"_I know it's you, John. Say something._"

He opened his mouth to say…what? _What should I say? "How you been?" _"_I miss you._""_Can I come home?_"

"_John?_"

He lost his nerve and again ended the call without speaking but before he could toss the phone into the passenger seat, it rang. A quick glance at the caller ID almost made him slam on the brakes.

_**Dave**_

How had his brother gotten his private, super-secure, government-issued cell number? He watched it blink, the name seeming to taunt him with the things he wanted and didn't think he deserved.

~~O~~

It was almost midnight, the Commissary nearly deserted, just a few people minding their own business for a change. Evan grabbed an apple and joined Cooper and her cohorts for a late snack. He'd just bit into the Granny Smith when his cell rang.

"Lorne…Yeah, that's me…Excuse _me?_" Evan's voice raised in pitch on the last word. "I'll be there as soon as possible…No! Do NOT let him leave." He hit the end key with more force than necessary. "What're you guys doing for the next hour or so?"

Withers, the stocky African-American man on Evan's left shifted in his seat. "Nothin' much. Why?"

"You up for a quick road trip?"

**TB****C**

**A/N:** "American Pie" is a folk rock song by American singer-songwriter Don McLean released in 1971.

"Ain't No Sunshine" is a song written and performed by Bill Withers from his 1971 album _Just as I Am__._


	31. A Matter of Trust

**A/N:** Thanks go out to ladygris and dwparsnip for their Beta assistance for this chapter. They are very much appreciated, especially as friends.

FYI - This story will conclude in six or seven chapters. If you have a request for a favorite OC or canon character to make an appearance, please PM me and I'll do my best to accommodate.

Thanks,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 31**

**A Matter of Trust**

Experience is a great teacher and Evan knew from past encounters that Marines were always looking for a good time, a challenge or both and was sorry he couldn't provide them with either tonight. All he really needed was a lift into town. The three of them, Cooper, Withers and Bagwell, a lean Caucasian man who looked like an accountant instead of the sniper he was, were more than a little disappointed when he sent them on their way after dropping him at a barn-like structure. The red paint was faded in some places and peeling in others, neon glaring from every window. It was called The Fancy Nickel.

_Yeah, right._

Once inside, Evan winced at the loud country music coming from the jukebox in the far corner. The room was less than a third full, mostly regulars from the looks of them. Many in cowboy hats and boots with a few that were trying to recapture their youth and doing a poor job of it.

Pool tables sat unused in the back while a TV screen flickered and blinked from its position above the bar. The dance floor only had three couples dancing. Everyone else was drinking and smoking. Some talking, some not.

He went to the bar and waited to be noticed by the bartender, a woman in her forties wearing a short skirt and low-cut blouse, but without the body to pull it off. Before she made it to his end of the bar, he was approached by a very attractive woman. The detective in him made a quick assessment, noticing the wedding ring on her left hand. As much as he disliked his partner, he never thought he'd take up with a married woman. _Something else must be going on._

Her brown eyes were enhanced by glasses with stylish rectangular lenses. A few freckles sprinkled along both cheekbones made her look younger than his estimate of early thirties. But the most amazing thing about her was her hair. It reached to the just below her hips and was a combination of auburn, brown and blonde with lighter streaks, probably from spending time in the sun. Waves drew the eye down to where the ends curled slightly. The heels she was wearing brought the top of her head even with Evan's so she didn't have to tilt her head to look him in the eye. He estimated her height at about five-five without shoes. She was wearing a knee-length black tiered skirt. The plain white cotton short-sleeved top would have looked ordinary on someone else. On her it looked classy especially when paired with the simple chain sporting a cross pendant, a tiny diamond in the center.

"Mr. Lorne? I'm Rae."

He nodded, extending his right hand, nearly engulfing her smaller one. Her fingers were long and slender. The hands of a musician. "Nice to meet you."

She looked him up and down, her mouth turning up in an ironic smile. "So you're the partner of the deceased. Hope you brought a body bag."

Not able to help a long-suffering sigh, he asked, "Where is he?"

She grinned, pointing to a spot in the back of the room near the jukebox. "He was already pretty far gone when I got the call." As they walked, she handed him a cell phone identical to his own except for the scratches on the edges where it had been recently dropped, and a set of keys.

He followed her to where John was sitting with the ankle of one leg resting on the knee of the other, his arms crossed and chin on his chest. "Why'd you call _me_?"

Rae hitched her purse up on her left shoulder. "I tried the first number in his speed dial, someone called Angel. It went to voice mail."

Evan gave her a half-smile. "She's outside the calling area at the moment."

"Oh. Well, your number was next up so you got the call."

"Lucky me." His tone indicated he thought he was anything but. She either didn't catch on, didn't care or chose to ignore it. He decided it was the latter.

"I'm going to leave him in your capable hands." She gestured at the exit. "I have to go. Hope gets up early." She turned and walked out of the bar without looking back or responding to any of the not-so-subtle come-ons from the men.

Evan stared down at John snoring softly then went to the bar. "Excuse me."

The bartender didn't smile when she finally acknowledged him. In fact, she sounded bored and very much put upon. "Yeah?"

Aiming a thumb over his shoulder, Evan asked, "He pay his tab?"

"Yeah. Didn't gimme no tip though. Cheap sonofa…" Her eyes brightened as she snatched the twenty he tossed on the bar and shoved it into her miniscule cleavage. "Thanks."

Back at John's side, he put a hand on his shoulder and shook him. "C'mon, Sheppard. Time to go. You've worn out your welcome here."

**Atlantis**

**Mess Hall**

A raging storm lashed the spires and towers of Atlantis. It had been going on for three days, fraying nerves and wearing out even the most unshakable of tempers. More than a few arguments had broken out and over minor differences of opinion on one thing or another. Only three people didn't seem to be affected: Caldwell, Chuck and Teyla.

Caldwell sat alone, drinking coffee and reading reports on the iPad in his left hand. His presence virtually assured that there'd be a tense sort of peace, at least for a while.

A crash came from the kitchen followed by angry voices as the cook and his assistant called each other names and traded insults, mostly having to do with the other's alleged parentage. After one unconcerned glance in that direction, Caldwell ignored what was going on and soon it was over. It always was with those two.

On the other side of the room, Teyla sat alone, poking at her food until it was cold and unpalatable. Pushing it away, she picked up her cup of herbal tea, sipping it and thinking. She was one of the few who hadn't engaged in a verbal sparring match with anyone. But she also hadn't talked to many in the last few days. She wasn't depressed or unhappy, exactly. Just in one of those moods that struck now and then leaving her feeling indifferent to the world around her and not all of it had to do with the fight or her break-up with Kanaan.

"Excuse me. Do you mind?"

The Athosian looked up to see the smiling face of Chuck watching her inquiringly. "Not at all. How are you tonight, Sergeant?"

"Doin' great. And call me Chuck." He sat down, shook out his napkin and draped it over his lap before picking up his fork and knife, using them to cut his meatloaf into bite-sized pieces. Setting the knife aside, he stabbed a corner of the meatloaf, dragged it through the mashed potatoes and gravy and ate it. As he chewed he watched Teyla stare at the tabletop and sip tea. "'Some Like it Hot' is playing in the Rec Room tonight. Would you like to go?"

"I'm sorry, Chuck, but I do not believe I'm ready to…"

"Oh! You think I'm asking you on a _date_." His eyes were filled with humor. "That's not what this is about. I was gonna go alone and thought if _you_ were gonna go alone too then maybe we could go alone together. As friends."

Her eyebrows climbed up her forehead as she tried to puzzle out what the Canadian was saying. A smile turned up the corners of her mouth for the first time in several days. "Then as a friend, I accept."

"Great." He set his plate between them, plucking the fork from her discarded tray. After wiping it on his napkin, he passed it to her. "My eyes were bigger than my stomach. Wanna share?"

His sincere smile and the easy-going way he approached life dispelled the melancholy mood she'd been in. "It seems that I am hungry after all. Thank you."

They spent the rest of the meal talking and laughing and eating, heedless of the fact that the storm had finally stopped.

~~O~~

Chuck watched Teyla sitting alone playing with her food instead of eating. If anyone needed cheering up, it was her. And if there was one thing he was good at, besides computers and blowing stuff up, it was making people smile. He didn't see any reason why they couldn't spend some time together as friends while his girl was offworld. She wasn't prone to jealousy. She was confident in him and his feelings for her, their feelings for each other.

He walked over and stood in front of her waiting to be noticed.

**The Fancy Nickel**

**Bar and Grill**

His eyes bleary and unfocused, John looked up at his partner. "What th' hell _you_doin' here? Thought you hated me."

Grabbing his right arm and wrapping it over his shoulder, Evan reached around John's waist to grab hold of his belt for leverage, practically dragging the taller man toward the door, not one of the other patrons offering to help. "I _do_ and after this stunt, it's only gonna get worse."

"Oh." He willingly went where Evan led him, not that he had much choice. "Min' droppin' me at Ang'l's?

Evan snorted. "I do that, and we're_ both_ out of a job." They'd made it out the door to the gravel parking lot. He turned his head as much as possible and finally located the truck.

"Why?"

"Two reasons. One, she's…out of the country." At the SGC, they had a code for talking about work in public. "The island" meant Atlantis and "out of the country" meant offworld in general, Atlantis or TDY on one of the ships, and "the mountain" was the Cheyenne Mountain Complex in Colorado Springs.

John thought that over. "Oh. Yeah. Whass the other one?"

"You're _drunk._"

"True." They reached the truck, stumbling against the chrome front. "Know what else I am?" His words were slurred, the last two sounding like "Yi yam."

Evan couldn't resist. "A cross-dresser?"

Shaking a finger in Evan's general direction, he said, "Nope. But that's very, _very_ close." Evan propped him against the rear passenger door while he dug the keys out of his pocket and he nearly fell over. "_I_…am a gamblin' addict. It's true. But I been goin' to GA like a good boy."

Shaking his head, Evan got the door open and reached inside to let seat all the way back. "You've _never_ been a good boy."

Now John looked comically shocked. "Who tol' ya that?"

"You did. Now get in the truck."

Grabbing the sides of the door, John attempted to put his left foot inside. "And I was _right_." He grunted as Evan boosted him in. "Y'know, I really need t' get a girlfrien' or married or somethin'."

"_Why_ would you want to do that to an innocent woman?"

"So's I don't have t' tell _you_ all m' secrets."

"Trust me…" he put John's other leg in then straightened him in his seat, "…I don't _want_ to know your secrets."

"Why not? I got some that'll curl your hair." John tried to wink but couldn't make his eyes work independent of each other.

"My hair's fine the way it is."

John leaned close. "Then why'd ya dye it that weird color?"

"It's not _dyed_, Sheppard." But John was now staring at his hands as if he'd never seen them before. "Oh, forget it."

His eyebrows drawn together in confusion, John asked, "Why?"

"Cause you're drunk and won't remember this in the morning anyway."

"Oh. Say, Lorne, do you have _any_ idea how long it's been since I had sex? Not by m'self I mean. With a woman."

"_No!_ And please do us _both_ a favor and _don't_tell me because it's already too much information."

John tried to buckle his seatbelt but wasn't doing a very good job of it. Evan snatched the buckle from him and clicked it home, adjusting the lap and shoulder straps. "It's been…uh…" John's face screwed up in thought as Evan went around to the driver's side and got in, "…a long time. An' ya know how many woman I've turned down since I caught that friggin' Wraith?"

Buckling his own seatbelt, Evan pulled the seat forward and inserted the key in the ignition. "I don't…"

Counting on the fingers of both hands, John said, "Two. An' I'm _not_ tellin' ya their names cuz I never kiss 'n tell."

_Thank God!_ As he pulled out of the parking lot, Evan wondered if he could use his government ID to get him out of a speeding ticket.

**Atlantis**

**Rec Room**

At first, Teyla didn't know what to make of the movie. Just the thought of two men disguising themselves as women for any reason was amusing, but Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis had taken it to a level seldom seen since.

Chuck had gotten there early to save them the coveted love seat that was in the perfect viewing spot, not too close and not too far from the screen. He'd also gotten them each a drink and a tub of popcorn to share.

Not five minutes into the movie, people behind him complained that they couldn't see over his head so he moved down to the floor, leaning his back against the front of the sofa. When she wanted popcorn, she would tap him on the shoulder and he'd hold the tub up so she could get a handful. Occasionally, she would lean down to ask question about some aspect of the plot. He'd whisper the answer as quietly as possible and go back to the movie.

When it was over, Teyla had not laughed so hard in a very long time. Her sides ached as she and Chuck returned to the barracks level with him doing his imitation of Tony Curtis in his guise as the rich playboy in love with Marilyn Monroe's Sugar. He left her at her door with the rest of the popcorn and a promise to sit together at the next movie if they were both on their own again.

Just as he reached his door, Dusty Mehra approached from the opposite direction. She'd been offworld since before the storm began missing the entire thing. Barefoot, dressed in shorts and a tank top, her hair still damp from the shower, she watched him with those dark eyes that seemed to see into his soul.

"Welcome back."

"Thanks." She blew a bubble and let it pop. "You gonna invite me in?"

"Of course." Once inside, he offered her a chair but she preferred to perch on the side of his bed. She was a woman of few words so she said nothing as he gathered his pajamas from under his pillow and went to take a shower.

He emerged a few minutes later and she was under the covers reading one of the comic books from his bedside table. She put it aside when he slipped under next to her, rolling onto her side to be gathered against his chest. A long sigh of contentment whispered over Chuck's face but it was her sleepily muttered "Chuck-o-my-heart" that made him sigh as well.

**Area 52**

**Employee Overnight Quarters**

Propping John up against the wall next to his door, Evan took a fortifying breath and hoped no one would come around the corner while he did what he might have to do next and prayed he wouldn't have to do it. "Sheppard."

"Yo."

"Where's your access card?"

"In m' wallet." John reached back and managed to pull the worn leather from his right rear pocket, handing it to Evan. "Iz in there somewhere."

"But I don't…Okay. Fine." He flipped it open, looking in the most obvious places for the card, and finding it tucked behind his company issued credit card. Sliding the keycard through the reader, the door unlocked. While replacing it, a small piece of paper fluttered to the floor. He picked it up and was about to put it back when he recognized part of the JAG office logo.

The paper was old and faded, the edges bent and worn as if he'd had it a long time. Curiosity got the better of him and he carefully unfolded the page, his eyes widening in disbelief as he read the names of the twelve who'd died in the chopper crash. The words "and baby" had been written next to Lee's name, added much later, within the last few weeks if Evan had to guess.

But that wasn't the worst of it. At the top of the page written in block letters and underlined were just three words: You Owe God.

John stirred and before he was seen snooping, he stuck the scrap of paper back in the wallet and tossed it on the dresser. "Come on, Sheppard. End of the line."

"Where ya takin' me?"

Grunting because John seemed to have gained about fifty pounds while leaning against the wall, Evan said, "Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory."

One side of John's mouth lifted. "Coo'."

"Here you go. Home sweet home." Evan dragged John to the bed, almost dropping him, and checked that Sparky was nowhere in sight before letting him down.

"Don' have a home. Got a brother though. Haven't seen 'im in a long time. Started to call 'im t'night but chickened out. Name's Dave. Big shot businessman. David Thurston Sheppard. Hehe! His middle name's worse 'n mine. Wanna know what it is?"

"No."

John puffed out his chest. "Thaddeus. John Thaddeus Sheppard. It was m' grampa's name on dad's side. Ya know, I didn' ev'n go t' m' dad's fun'ral 'cause I'd been disinvert…distahar…um, kicked outta the family." He managed to pull off his shoes almost falling off the bed in the process. "Whoops."

"You okay to do this part alone?" Hoping he'd say yes, Evan went to the door.

With wavering dignity, John told him, "I'm a big boy. I c'n undress m'self." And to prove it, he got to his feet and started undoing the front of his pants.

"Fine." Evan left before he saw something he'd rather not see. Just before the door closed, he heard a loud _thump._

"Oops. Meant t' do dat."

Shaking his head, Evan went across the hall. While getting ready for bed, he thought about what he'd read. The words on the page shone brightly in his mind. _You Owe God._ John he owed God for the lives of the twelve who'd perished in the crash and it had obviously weighed heavily on his mind since that day.

_Well, this is why you took the job, Lorne. To get close enough to Sheppard to find out what really happened. Looks like you're about to reach that goal. __And__ you keep finding things to like about him. That was __not__ in the plan. The plan was…what? What're you going to do when you do get the full story? Kill him? Cripple him for life? Shoot him a dirty look? Why __are__ you here? And don't say it's for the really cool job 'cause that's just a perk._

The answers to his questions wouldn't show themselves. He'd found out John wasn't who he'd thought he was. Yes, he could be selfish, arrogant and narcissistic, but then most people were at one time or another. But he also had a streak of morality and ethics, principles and personal codes that he stood by. Yet Evan had seen that he could also set them aside if the situation warranted, such as with Magee and his lack of same.

Evan had been surprised and amazed at the way he treated the women he came into contact with each day considering his rep. He was respectful and courteous unless the woman had shown herself unworthy, as in the case of the female Goa'uld they'd crossed paths with at the hotel.

And his treatment of Jennifer was the biggest surprise of all. Evan could see that there was something between them that was much more than a patient and doctor falling for each other. It may not have had a promising start, but he could see Jennifer and John together for the long-term. She was good for him. Just in the weeks since they'd been partners, he could see a change. He just wondered if _John_ could see it.

His reaction to Colonel Hartley's final words told him that so much more had gone on in Afghanistan than anyone could have guessed. He had a few ideas about that too, but with Hartley gone, he had no way to get the answers he sought except from John. And _he_ wasn't talking.

Pushing his lingering questions away, he used meditation to help him get to sleep.

~~O~~

John awoke the next morning face down on the floor next to his bed, tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, and Sparky sleep-bombing him from her position curled up in the middle of his back. Reaching around, he gently nudged her awake. She jumped to the floor, walking around in front of him where she did her morning stretch that involved the use of every muscle in her small body, including her tail, and ending with a jaw-popping yawn. Then she sat down, her tail twitching in a way he didn't like, and could swear he saw disapproval.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm human and we make mistakes." Pushing to his feet, John realized his pants were undone in the front but still mostly on. Sparky sat looking up at him with that you're-a-putz-but-I-still-like-you expression she did so well. He rubbed her ears, fed her, gave her fresh water then stripped and got a shower.

Feeling marginally better but not enough for his usual trip to the gym, he dressed for the workout anyway, heading instead to the Infirmary. Ana and Derek were in the nurse's station acting more like a couple than doctor and nurse. He silently wished them well while ignoring the fact that he'd caught them kissing.

"Agent Sheppard."

Derek took one look at him and went to the locked drug closet, returning almost immediately with two ibuprofen. He dropped them into John's outstretched palm while Ana handed him a bottle of blue sports drink. With a nod of thanks, he used the drink to wash down the pain meds.

"Eggs, bananas and fruit juice."

~~O~~

The sounds of fighting echoed in the hall outside the gym again drawing a crowd. And as before, Jennifer pushed her way to the front watching John and Evan once again pound on each other. She wondered fleetingly what had caused this fight, but decided it didn't matter. From now on, she would just look the other way.

The crowd shifted and Tish came to stand beside her. "Aren't you going to stop them?"

"No. You know, I don't have any brothers or sisters but with them it seems like a strange sort of sibling rivalry going on most of the time."

Shrugging, Tish leaned against the doorway. "Can't say."

Jennifer gave her an understanding smile and returned to watching the fight, gasping when John punched Evan so hard he stumbled backward and fell at their feet. The women bent down to help him up, Tish telling him, "I said _calmly_ and _rationally_."

Evan panted hard a couple of times, using the heels of his hands to wipe the sweat from his eyes. No blood had been drawn yet. "For him, this IS calm and rational." A moment later he launched himself at John, tackling him as if he were the quarterback of the opposing team and they both fell against the hanging punching bag.

Not wanting to watch any more, Jennifer just turned and walked away.

~~O~~

Teeth clenched, John twisted away and got Evan in a headlock, dragging him around the floor and out to the middle of the mat, holding tighter when he tried to get away. "I'm sorry."

"For what? Beating the _crap_ out of me again?"

"No. For killing your wife and baby."

Moving quickly, Evan grabbed John around the waist with the arm trapped behind, slipped the other one under his left thigh, lifted and flipped him onto his back in an impressive takedown. Dropping to one knee beside him, he whispered harshly, "Lee _wasn't_ my _wife!_ She was my _cousin_."

John swung his right leg around knocking Evan to the mat beside him, hearing a loud grunt at the impact. "But I heard…"

"…_wrong_. I didn't even know about the baby until the funeral."

As suddenly as it started, the fight was over showing no clear winner, both men lying on the floor, panting, and the crowd moaning in disappointment again.

Rolling over onto his stomach, John pushed to his hands and knees then to his feet and stood.

Evan got as far as his knees, one foot flat on the floor, when John's hand came into view. He took the offered assist and was pulled up next to his partner. They walked painfully to the bench and sat down, still panting.

Grabbing the sport drink bottle, his second so far the day, John took a long swallow then used a towel to wipe his face. Turning his head to the side, he saw Evan sitting, elbows on his knees, a bottle of water held in one hand. He took a sip and went back to staring at the floor.

"She was your cousin?"

~~O~~

Evan resisted looking at John, choosing to just nod. "Yeah. We were really close though, more like brother and sister."

"What about…"

"She was seeing someone but didn't tell me his name, rank, outfit, nothing. My aunt said the pathologist told her the birth control Lee'd been taking failed. She was only a couple weeks along when…" he trailed off again and took another drink.

"I'm…"

"If you say you're sorry again, I'm taking you to the mat. Do you _really_ wanna go there?"

His face unreadable, John shared a look with Evan. "No." When he stood, Evan did as well. "I'm taking a long hot shower then I'm gonna eat."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Lorne."

"Yeah."

"Did you call me a cross-dresser?"

**TBC**

**A/N:** The title of this chapter comes from one of the author's favorite songs, Billy Joel's "Matter of Trust", (1986.) You are encouraged to go to YouTube and listen.


	32. In a Flash

**A/N:** Many thanks to ladygris for all her help with this chapter. One particular scene was just for her…and me of course. Then there's the bits for dwparsnip. He knows which ones I mean. And we mustn't forget Shadows-of-Realm. One scene is there just for him.

Remember, if you have an OC or canon character you want to see again, let me know.

Thanks,

Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 32**

**In a Flash**

**Washington, DC**

**Hotel Mayfair**

**A Few Days Later**

The team from Area 52 had been transported to the hotel with all the personal belongings they'd need to get by for the conference. Check in went smoothly as did the first three days. It was the last night and the formal dance to end the conference was about to start.

John, Toby, Evan and Woolsey stood together talking and watching the door waiting for their dates to arrive. Glasses in hand, crystal champagne flutes filled with the sparkling beverage, each man wore a classic black tux. John and Evan both wore traditional black cummerbunds and bowties, Woolsey in a vest and tie the same color as the champagne. Toby looked more than a little uncomfortable in his tux appointed with ivory due to the fact that this was his first formal event since he'd retired from the military.

The room was filled almost to capacity with men in every style of tuxedo and women in formal gowns in every color, and some that weren't possible in nature. Mixed in with the civilians were the military in their dress blues. Everyone was talking, laughing, dancing, eating and drinking.

What the men from Area 52 hadn't noticed was David Magee off to the side, seldom talking to anyone, and glaring holes in the back of their heads. He'd taken great pains to _not_ be seen by them the last three days while plotting the revenge he would heap upon all of them, including the man who'd taken his place, Tobias Ritter.

Downing the last of his champagne, David exchanged it for another as a server passed by. Soon it would all be over.

~~O~~

Resisting checking the time, Woolsey sipped his champagne slowly, pausing to greet dignitaries, VIPs and celebrities as the crowd swirled and eddied around him and his colleagues. Unlike the peace conference he'd been unable to attend, this one was strictly for those in the know about the Stargate program.

A server offered him an assortment from her tray filled with tempting hors d'oeuvres but he declined with a smile. He'd wait for his fiancée before indulging.

Behind him, Sheppard, Lorne and Ritter were talking however, the subject escaped him. At the limits of his hearing, someone, he didn't know who, made a comment about being in evening attire while it was still daylight. He ignored the remark as he was more interested in the fact that Morticia had just come into the room with Sheila, Dr. Keller and Sergeant Cooper, all looking very much like themselves yet not.

"Gentlemen, I do believe our dates have arrived." The conversation came to a stunned halt though just for the men from Area 52. No one else noticed the ladies arrival and from the looks on their faces, that was just fine by them.

Morticia, no matter what she wore, would always stand out in a crowd. It was just how she was made. Her dress could have been crafted of burlap and he still would want to hold her in his arms.

The black dress, made of a slinky material, fit her curves as if it had been created just for her. A V-neckline barely touched the chain-like strand that wound its way down the front of the gown. The thigh-high side slit and train that barely touched the floor drew attention to her long legs. Her hair was loose around her shoulders with the sides swept back to show off her neck.

Woolsey handed his glass to the server and went to greet his fiancée.

~~O~~

A man of few words, the sight of Sheila made the already taciturn Toby speechless. He'd thought her attractive in her everyday clothes but now, well he'd never seen anything to compare with how she looked at this instant.

She wore a gown the color of emeralds that flowed from an empire waist. It swept the floor as she moved and the sparkling belt accentuated the plunging neckline. Her short hair had somehow been put into a sophisticated up-do and enormous hoops graced her ears.

Gathering a handful of the material in her left hand, she approached him with a smile of greeting. And at that moment, between one breath and the next, he fell just a little in love with her.

~~O~~

Evan had just plucked something on a cracker from the tray held by one of the servers, stopping with it halfway to his mouth at the sight of his Marine pal. He never noticed the cracker slip from his fingers. Another server came by with a tray of glasses, catching it before it could hit the floor without missing a beat.

The black material made her look tall and stately, the thigh slit merely hinting at what might be underneath. A cut-out angled across the chest, while the one-shoulder look led him to believe it had no back and if she moved in just the right way, it would end up on the floor. It made him think of Teyla and… He shook his head to dispel the image.

The quiver that preceded the eye-flash triggered a rush to employ his meditation techniques to keep it from happening. Everyone present would understand. He just didn't want Bobbie to get the wrong idea. He kept his eyes on hers though his male mind demanded he examine that slit in greater detail. _She's your friend, idiot. Eyes on her face. _A pep talk with himself was all well and good, but he was still a man. Finally, he felt his mind and body relax enough that he could step forward to take her hand…until John whispered in his ear.

"Now _that_ dress means _business_." His partner slapped him on the back. "Good Luck."

His smirk made Evan want to punch him. Instead, he pointed with his chin, a smirk of his own coming over his face. "And what does Jennifer's dress say?"

~~O~~

Jennifer stepped in through the door and stopped. And so did John's heart. Just for a moment. Then just a suddenly, it sped up. He didn't even notice when Evan took the glass of champagne from him before it could fall. And it was a good thing he couldn't see the look on his partner's face or they'd have been fighting again.

The woman he called Angel looked more angelic than ever. Her hair was up with wispy little curls around her face not quite touching her bare shoulders. He knew if he placed his hand there, they would tickle the back and he wasn't sure he'd survive the sensation.

The dress she'd chosen to wear embraced her body the way _he_ wanted to, the way a sports car hugged the PCH or the roads of Monaco. The jeweled neckline emphasized her breasts as did the high waist. The front wrapped around at the hips angling down from right to left and was held in place by a matching jewel at the bottom of her left hip.

She turned to greet someone who'd come up next her, giving him a glimpse of her back. The jewels that graced the front came up over her shoulders and crisscrossed her shoulder blades, leaving her back bare down to her waist. A modest train dragged behind her.

And the color, an ice blue he'd only seen during the three months he was stationed near the Tasman Glacier on New Zealand's South Island just before he shipped out to Afghanistan, made him feel hot and cold at the same time as he tugged at his suddenly too tight collar.

Her smile brightened upon seeing him and he knew he was smiling back though he'd stopped being able to feel anything above the waist since the moment she'd come in. As she neared him, he extended his hand and she put her smaller one in it. Some of the feeling returned as something grazed his skin, almost like a tiny electric shock, and when he looked down her bracelet was brushing the backs of his fingers. Inside his head he heard a voice, _his_ voice, saying, "_You're a dead man, John!_"

~~O~~

Rodney came out of the bathroom just in time to see his wife buttoning the jacket to her dress blues. Sam stood in front of the mirror checking that everything was in the right place and arrow straight. He slipped his hands around her waist, kissing her on the neck.

Turning her head to the side, she stepped out of his embrace. "How do I look?"

"Fine. Why aren't you wearing something sexy and slinky, like that dress you wore on our honeymoon? What color was it?"

"Eggshell." Handing the keycard to Rodney, she checked her hair one last time. "I'm a General, Rodney. I have to appear in uniform at all formal functions." Her reflection gave him a wicked smile. "I do have something non-reg on under it."

Brightening, Rodney opened the door then followed her out. "The blue or the red?"

She wiggled her eyebrows. "Something new."

As they arrived at the elevator, he moaned. "And now you expect me to go out in _public?_"

"Just keep your jacket buttoned, stay seated or stand behind a table."

He took her hand and kissed the back of it. "As long as it's the buffet table."

~~O~~

Melissa got out of the cab, paid her fare plus a tip, and lifted the hem of her dress as she entered the front of the hotel. The uniformed attendant smiled and held the door, giving her a look of appreciation as she walked by. In the past, she might have ducked her head shyly and scurried from the area like a frightened rabbit. But these months with Paul had given her confidence. Not only in her appearance, but in her professional life as well. One translated to the other and Director Gordon had noticed, allowing her to take on more and more responsibility. Tonight, she would give her boss every reason to be proud of her new protégé.

Paul was in charge of security for the conference and hadn't been able to pick her up. Not that it bothered her to arrive alone. The important thing was they'd be together when it counted. Every time he introduced her to one of his friends or colleagues, she felt his affection, heard the pride in his voice. Though they hadn't made a formal commitment, they did have an understanding.

And tonight…

Tonight, if the right moment presented itself, she'd make sure he knew how she felt about him. Even if he didn't return the sentiment, at least he'd know how much these last few months with him had meant to her. She was almost certain that he shared her feelings though he hadn't said anything. Not out loud. But it was there in the way he looked at her, the way he held her in his arms, night or day, and in the way their hands just seem to…fit.

Gathering the folds of her dress, she lifted it as she descended the stairs to the lower level ballroom. The understated grace of her strapless column gown in teal brought out the color of her eyes, made them look vibrant and dazzling as if she were lit from within. Parted on the side and allowed to hang loose, her light brown hair shone.

And suddenly, there in front of her stood the man she'd fallen in love with on that momentous plane ride. Lieutenant Colonel Paul Davis. He looked as handsome in his dress blues tonight as he had the first time.

He extended his elbow and she tucked her hand into its crook. As they moved through the crowd of civilians and military, he leaned close to whisper, "You look stunning."

Doing her best not to blush as his assessment, she responded, "So do you."

~~O~~

Swaying to the slow music, Bobbie and Evan talked about her impending visit with her family. He told her about his sister, just now beginning to date again, and she expressed sympathy at the loss of his brother-in-law who'd been stationed in Iraq. And for the first time ever, he talked about the death of his father with someone other than Tish.

Not liking the somber mood they'd introduced, Bobbie quieted letting herself enjoy being in a man's arms for a while, even if he was just a friend. She loved the feel of his warm hand on her bare back, but there were no romantic sparks in the touch. No feeling that there might be more if they let it happen.

Though it had started out between her shoulder blades, bit by bit, his hand slid along her spine until it was resting on the upper curve of her hip. The song changed, another slow dance, and his palm slithered down to her backside. With a grin, she reached around and pulled it back up to her waist.

"Hands where I can see 'em, Lorne."

He returned her grin without remorse. "Sorry. It was an accident."

"Bull!" she scoffed. "If you didn't have that Pegasus babe waiting for you I'd think you were serious."

The grin widened, his blue eyes twinkling. "I'm a _guy_, Cooper. It's _instinctive_. Just don't hurt me if it happens again."

She heaved an exaggerated sigh of acceptance. "Fine. But that's as far as it goes. I won't be poaching in someone else's territory tonight _or_ any other night." He didn't make one of his deadpan remarks and saw that he was no longer paying attention. Instead, he was looking over her shoulder but at what she couldn't tell. Whatever it was, he didn't like it. "What's up, Evan?"

"Nothing. Sorry. Mind if we cut this short? I need to hit the latrine."

"Course not. Just save the last dance for me."

Evan, though still distracted, gave her a one-sided grin. "Will do."

And with that, he was gone. She watched him weave through the crowd to Sheppard's side. They spoke urgently for a few seconds then Sheppard thanked his dancing partner, Dr. Adams, and the two men disappeared from sight. Bobbie was about to follow, her soldier's instincts rising when a man stepped into her path though not deliberately. She could tell he was just trying to get her attention.

"Excuse me. I see that you've been abandoned by your partner. May I have this dance?"

He was over six feet, of Indian descent, and _not_ in the military, the last being a big plus due to the non-frat rules. His smile was warm and engaging.

Bobbie's mind was still puzzling out Evan's quick departure but the man in front of her was…_hot_, so she stayed. "Okay." He took her in his arms and knew the exact way to hold her to keep her from feeling anxious about being close to someone she just met. "Marine Sergeant Bobbie Cooper."

"Dr. Jhadav, PhD Computer Science." He turned them quickly making her head spin at the sudden movement. "Rohan. A pleasure to meet you, Bobbie."

"Likewise, Rohan."

~~O~~

"What the hell is _he_ doing here?" Evan asked as they made their way cautiously through the crowd until they reached the side wall. But the person they were looking for was gone. He could have seen them and bolted though that was unlikely.

"Don't know. Don't care. But he better stay away from…Jennifer."

Evan snorted. "Stopped calling her Angel, have you?"

Glancing at his partner then away, John ignored his remark. "He's gotta be here. I'll take the right…"

"…and I'll take the left…"

"…and we'll meet at the…"

"…open bar."

~~O~~

Setting her small silver evening bag on the counter in front of the mirror, Melissa removed her silk chiffon wrap. Her reflection told her that her make-up and hair were still flawless after hours of dancing and mingling with the other conference attendees. Until she'd come into the ladies room, Paul hadn't left her side except for security checks. When she left him, he was talking with General Carter and her husband.

Dr. McKay had been going on and on about their newborns, as she'd expected him to, with General Carter smiling proudly as he told of the incredible intelligence already being displayed by the fraternal twins. An exaggeration, she knew, but perfectly understandable. Just as she'd excused herself, she heard Paul say, "So, Dr. McKay, did you bring a photo?"

She heard a familiar snort of derision. "You have no _idea_ who you're talking to, do you?" And knowing the good doctor, he'd probably produced an iPad filled with photos and videos of the kids. She'd wanted to stay and see them but the glass of champagne she'd drunk had other ideas.

Melissa attended to business, washed her hands and moved to the small sitting area to make room in case someone else came in though she was alone at the moment. Taking her lipstick from her purse, she applied fresh color, pursed her lips then checked for stray smears. Snapping the closure on the purse, she reached for her wrap but the slippery material slid off the edge of counter to the floor. She was just reaching for it when a hand grabbed the material in a fist and held it out. Panic set in because the hand was male.

Her eyes tracked up the sleeve of the tuxedo jacket, dreading what she would see. And it was as bad as she thought. Worse. David Magee.

"Hello, Melissa."

~~O~~

"You're sure he was headed this way?" John and Evan were hurrying toward the nearest set of bathrooms.

Nodding, Evan went into the men's room, John just a step behind, but Magee wasn't in there and the current occupants weren't happy about being disturbed.

Back out in the open area between the bathrooms, they both stared at the ladies room door. Voices could be heard arguing. Two male and one female. Taking a deep breath, Evan closed his eyes and reached for the door only to nearly fall when John shoved it open. Inside, they found David Magee confronting Lieutenant Colonel Paul Davis, his arms around Melissa.

David's face was red with fury. "…and just who the hell are _you?_" This was directed at Paul.

Paul pulled Melissa tighter into his embrace smiling fondly at her. "I'm the future father of her children, if she'll have me."

"Of course I will, Paul." Her eyes narrowed dangerously at David. "Things have changed in the last few months, David. For me at least. I'm not the same person I was at Area 52 though _you_ don't seem to have changed at all."

Before David could respond, John tapped him on the shoulder. "Hello, Magee. Long time, no see."

Evan stood beside him. "Not long enough. What're you doing here?"

"_Trying_ to talk to Melissa, but this Neanderthal won't let me."

Melissa made a sound in her throat. "Paul has nothing to do with this. I don't _want_ to talk to you, David. Please _leave_."

"You're being way too polite, Melissa," John told her. He stepped forward to take David's arm in order to show him the way out. "Let's go, Magee. Leave the lovebirds alone."

As soon as John touched him, David grabbed the lapels of his jacket, swinging him around and into Paul and Melissa. Evan moved to try to catch the three of them and in the confusion, David took off. There was a scream out in the hall, not of distress but of frustration and anger.

~~O~~

Looking nervously over his shoulder, David quickly exited out the front of the hotel and down to the street. An older woman was about to pull into the street from the hotel's driveway. He opened the door, pulled her from the car and roared off down the street with her calling him names and yelling for the police. Ignoring her, he kept driving, his mind whirling with the events of the last few months trying to figure out how it had all gone so wrong. His career. His life.

All he'd wanted to do was talk to Melissa, just for a few minutes, but then Super Soldier had come in and ruined it. _Where the hell did she meet him anyway?_ Then he'd run into Jennifer. He hadn't even said anything and she'd tried to kick him.

He ran the light just as it turned red, the bright flash of the traffic enforcement camera telling him the owner of the vehicle he'd taken would soon be receiving a ticket in the mail.

~~O~~

Recognizing Angel's voice, the partners rushed out into the hall finding her on the floor scowling with indignation.

John helped her up and over to a bench, taking a seat next to and holding her hand. "Are you alright?"

"Fine. Argh! Some people just don't learn from their mistakes." She touched her wrist. "Where's my bracelet? It was my mother's."

Evan searched the floor locating it a few feet away. John took it from him and slipped it into his pocket. "If you're okay, we're gonna go after Magee."

"He went that way…hey! Wait for me!" Before she'd finished speaking John and Evan were bounding up the steps to the ground floor. She chased after them but was hampered by her footwear. "Damn! Never did learn to run in heels." Hopping on first one foot then the other, she pulled off her shoes and ran up the stairs to the front entrance, but they were nowhere in sight.

Several security personnel came running up behind her. "Is there a problem, ma'am?"

Jennifer smiled, holding onto the edge of the concierge desk while she put her shoes back on. "No. My friends are just taking out some trash. They'll be back in a few minutes." _I hope._

~~O~~

John reached the main entrance a half step ahead of Evan, both seeing a car burn rubber down the street and blow through the light. The driveway was crowded with vehicles coming and going in carefully choreographed chaos.

Evan turned side to side looking for a way to follow and John slapped him on the arm pointing to a white Mitsubishi Eclipse GT just pulling up to the light. He nodded and the partners took off. Just as the light was changing, John rapped on the window. It was cracked about two inches but no more. "We're government agents and we need to borrow your car." Reaching into his breast pocket he realized he'd he must have dropped his ID in the ladies room so he resorted to using a threatening tone. "Outta the car, buddy!"

The guy snorted in disbelief. "Screw you, pal. I wouldn't let James friggin' _Bond_ take my wheels. My _wife_ would _kill_ me."

Evan produced his badge and in a near-perfect imitation of the fictional secret agent, said, "Sorry, old chap, but we need transportation and yours will do the trick rather nicely. Do you mind?"

"No, he _doesn't_. Now get _out!_" The man, about thirty-five, gulped as John opened the door and dragged him out while Evan got into the passenger seat.

As they drove away, Evan waved to the man who was so stunned he just waved back. When the car could no longer be seen, he pulled out his phone and hit speed dial. "Honey, you'll never guess who just jacked the car…James Bond…What do you mean _which_ James Bond? Yes, I know your favorite is Sean Connery, but this is the _real_ James Bond…No, he's not as tall as he is in the movies…Oh, uh, five-nine, brown hair, tux, oh, and this one has a chauffeur…What does _he_ look like? Um, six feet, messy hair, rude…No, let's see what happens before we call the insurance company…I'm in front of the Mayfair Hotel…I'm telling you this because I need you to come and get me…Because I was _carjacked_…The police? But…Okay, I'll _call_ them." He hung up, using his thumb to dial 911. "Women! Why can't they get their priorities straight?"

~~O~~

Hearing the sound of a high-performance engine coming up behind him, David hit the gas even harder. The hotel was in an area about five miles from the center of DC and he'd chosen the quickest route out of town hoping they'd think he would try to get lost in the heavy downtown traffic but his luck didn't carry him that far.

Up ahead was a sharp curve. He let off the gas but that allowed his pursuers to get closer than he liked. Panicking, his foot hit the gas causing the car to fishtail on the asphalt and swerve into the oncoming lane. Almost too late he saw the other vehicle. Yanking hard on the wheel, he barely avoided hitting a small SUV. The wheels on the passenger side hit the curb spinning him around until the car came to a stop with the driver's door smashed against a tree.

The SUV wasn't as lucky. In trying to avoid a collision, the driver hit the guardrail, bounced off, skidded sideways across all lanes of traffic, jumped the curb and angled down into a small depression. It flipped onto its passenger side and continued its slide toward an enormous wooden playground, its front end digging furrows in the sand as it finally came to a stop.

~~O~~

The Eclipse had barely come to a stop when John and Evan jumped out shedding their tux jackets as they headed for the smoking SUV.

Evan peered in through the windshield tapping on the glass. A man and woman were slumped to the side, held in place by their seatbelts, the white cushions of the airbags already beginning to deflate. "Hey! You okay in there?" He breathed a sigh of relief when both moved their arms and heads. The man touched his head, his eyes blinking open. He coughed and turned to check on the woman.

John climbed up onto the vehicle and wrestled the back door open. Peering through the smoke, he could see three children strapped in, all conscious and crying. "Lorne!" Seconds later, Evan was below him. John carefully lowered himself into the passenger area first unbuckling the car seat and setting it on the open rear door, the little girl screaming but uninjured. Levering himself out again, he passed her down to Evan who quickly carried her a safe distance away setting her behind a pair of trees in a huge sandbox just in case.

By the time he returned, John was standing on top again, a boy and a girl beside him also crying. He passed first one then the other down, watching as Evan carried them over to the baby and told them to stay put. They both had a few bruises and cuts but were scared more than anything.

He trotted back again and found his partner just standing there looking into the air. Then he heard it too. Peering into the darkening sky, he saw the red and white lights of a traffic helicopter headed in their direction. Pulling himself up beside John, he gripped his arm. "Sheppard? Come _on_. We gotta get them out!"

"What?" John shook his head to clear it. Just for a moment, he'd been back in Afghanistan in the burning chopper that had taken fire just before it crashed into an American convoy at dusk. Just like now.

Together they pried the door open, Evan saying a prayer of thanks that it wasn't badly jammed. Balancing on the roof and lower doorjambs, they reached down and each took one of the man's hands while Evan used his pocket knife to cut the seatbelt. With a heave they brought him up beside them. He was able to let himself down and with a shambling gait, headed for the kids. Over the sounds of the chopper and the distant wailing of emergency vehicles, Evan heard the kids calling out to their dad and asking about mom. He calmed them with hugs and soothing words.

The woman had already unhooked her seatbelt and had her arms up. She was facing John, a trickle of blood from a head wound creating a trail down her right cheek. Repeating what they'd done with the man, they hoisted her up then Evan jumped to the ground while John took both of her hands and lowered her into his arms. As soon as her feet touched the ground, she took off.

Flames shot from the engine and dashboard filling the front compartment with a bright orange glow. The smoke became thicker, obscuring John's vision while the chopper just kept circling the area. Again, he heard the cries of children only this time they were mixed with the whimpers and moans of adults. Looking at his hands, he found them covered with blood that was not his own.

"Sheppard! Let's go!" John jumped to the ground, running beside Evan, both throwing themselves into the sand next to the family they'd rescued just as the SUV exploded with a rumble and earsplitting BOOM! The blast jostled everyone except the baby who was still safely strapped into the car seat.

John lifted his head as a ball of bright orange flames mixed with black smoke leapt into the sky. Debris rained down over the area and the rescuers huddled protectively over the family.

The head of a doll landed next to John and he stared at it, his eyes wide and unfocused. He got slowly to his knees, one hand reaching for it, drawing back without touching it. Standing, he took first one then another step in the direction of the still burning SUV.

"Sheppard?" Evan's partner didn't respond, just kept watching the smoke and flames swaying forward and back, his breathing shallow and very fast. He saw the intent in John's eyes a millisecond before he took off running. "Stop!"

"Caitlin!"

Evan chased John, catching up with him and stopping his forward motion by throwing both arms around him and digging in his heels. John twisted out of his arms and was off and running again. Returning to his days as a running back Evan tackled him. John fought him but he held on, throwing them both to the ground as another explosion sent a wave of heat and more debris their way.

When Evan lifted his head, his chest heaving from the massive amounts of adrenaline coursing through his body, he was relieved to see the first responders come screeching onto the scene.

"Let's get out of the way, Sheppard." John didn't respond and a sound that was almost like weeping came from him. "Sheppard?" John was muttering, his words incomprehensible, muffled as they were by his head buried in his arms. With a hand on his shoulder, Evan urged John onto his side and was startled to see tears creating wet tracks through the dirt, sand, soot and smears of blood on his face.

"I…I tried to save them." his words were anguished and nearly inaudible.

"Save _who_?" His heart clenching at the thoughts churning through his head, Evan laid a hand gently on his partner's shoulder, his voice just a whisper. "John, _who_ did you try to save? John?"

"The children, their parents, Caitlin, Justice. Too many. Tried to save them all, b-but I killed them instead."

**TBC**


	33. The Redemption of John Sheppard

**A/N:** I can't believe I almost forgot to do this part.

Many thanks go out to ladygris for her wonderful and insightful Beta services. I know she's busy with RL issues, as are we all. That she took the time to look this chapter over and thereby stop me from making a minor _faux pas_, I am extremely grateful.

I'm also grateful for Lithane who caught a MAJOR mistake. Thank you!

Namaste,

Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 33**

**The ****Redemption of John Sheppard**

Jennifer went back to the party thinking furiously about how she'd explain John and Evan's absence. Pasting on a smile that felt stiff and disingenuous, she joined the rest of the group from Area 52. "Who are we talking about?"

Before Woolsey could speak up, Tish grinned. "Sergeant Cooper and her new beau."

"Pardon?" The taller woman nodded to where Bobbie was again dancing with Rohan. "Oh. She and Evan are just friends. I'm sure he won't mind."

Woolsey waved his glass. "What happened to Sheppard and Lorne?"

"They, um…went for a beer."

Tish crossed her arms. "Oh, you'll _have_ to do better than that. We saw how they lit out of here like their backsides were on fire."

"I meant they went for a…drive." That at least was partly the truth.

"They're not fighting again, are they?"

Laughing nervously, Jennifer touched her wrist where he mother's bracelet had been. "No, of course not." She turned to Sheila. "Since my date is MIA, would you mind if I danced with yours?"

Sheila gestured. "I don't if he doesn't."

Toby extended his elbow. "I'd be honored, Dr. Keller."

~~O~~

John sat in the open doors of one of the ambulances while an EMT looked him over, his face covered with an oxygen mask to combat the smoke inhalation. When Lorne had urged him to get up and move, he'd finally returned to the present, but in the back of his mind still lingered the memories from Afghanistan mixed with the discomfiture of his flashback. He didn't remember much of what he'd said, just that, for a few minutes, he'd returned to the scene of the crash. At one point he thought his hands had been covered with blood, but now all he saw was dirt and soot. No blood. It too had been a memory from when he'd tried to revive one of the children. It hadn't worked.

The EMT handed him some wipes to clean his hands and face and a cup of electrolyte-enriched liquid. Beside him lay his tux jacket having survived without a stitch out of place though it did get dirty. Next to it lay Evan's in the same condition.

Sipping the drink, which tasted awful, he waited for his partner to come back, a smirk on his face at witnessing his partner's ultimate weakness. He could see Evan talking with the police Lieutenant in charge of the accident scene. They shook hands and Evan headed his way.

_Here it comes. The questions. The demands for answers. _

He didn't want to deal with it tonight. He just wanted to get back to the hotel, crawl into bed and pull the covers up over his head. It would take a while to process what had happened, and Doc Adams would insist on talking about it. But he didn't want to. Not yet.

John heard his partner's footsteps rustling through the grass but kept his eyes on the ground sipping the drink. "How's Magee?"

"Alive. Barely."

"Pity."

"Broke his neck. Gonna be paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of his life."

"Good. He can spend the time thinking about what an _asshole_ he's been." _Just like me._

Evan leaned his shoulder on the open door of the ambulance watching as the one carrying Magee turned on its lights and pulled away from the scene. "You're nothing like him, you know."

Startled to hear those words from Evan, John did his best to cover his reaction with a snort. "Says who?"

~~O~~

"Jennifer, Woolsey, McKay, Doc Adams, if she didn't have to worry about doctor-patient confidentiality, Dora, Ana, Slater, Barb, the cleaning lady…" Evan waited for John to look at him so he'd see the sincerity in his eyes, "…me. Shall I go on?"

"Please _don't_."

Evan hadn't liked the tone of John's statement concerning Magee's prognosis. Maybe because he'd been thinking the same thing and felt ashamed for doing so.

Without looking up, John handed him his jacket and he put it on, picking off stray bits of grass and brushing at the sand that refused to be dislodged.

"Come on. We have to get back to the hotel. I promised my date the last dance."

Draining the last of the drink, John crushed the cup, dropped it on the floor of the ambulance, and got to his feet, slipping his jacket on as they walked to the cruiser farthest from the scene. Still saying nothing, John got into the back seat, slamming the door and automatically hooking his seatbelt while Evan did the same. The cop got in and they headed back toward town.

Finally, Evan could bear the strained silence no longer. "You okay?"

John inhaled and exhaled, coughing a few times not turning from his contemplation of the passing scenery. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You inhaled a lot more smoke than I did."

Shrugging, John stayed turned to the window and Evan left him alone for the rest of the ride.

**Stillwater, Pennsylvania**

**The Gibbs Home**

Jack grunted as he pushed himself out of his chair to answer the door. An attractive middle-aged woman stood there, a Netbook clasped to her chest, an expression of uneasiness causing the lines on her face to deepen.

"Beth." Jack greeted Sawyer Hartley's ex-wife with a smile. He opened the screen door so she could enter. "It's good to see you. Come inside and have a seat."

"I can't stay. And I'm sorry to come so late, Jack, but I found something." She shifted her feet. "There's a document that Leroy should see."

"What sort of document?" Jack took the computer when she held it out. "And why Leroy?"

She bit her lip, her eyes dropping to the floor. "At first I thought it was a journal about the time he spent as part of the team hunting bin Laden."

"It's not?"

"No." Her head came up again. "It's a, uh, confession concerning gross misconduct while he was stationed in Afghanistan. _His_ misconduct. I can see you don't believe me. Just read it and if you come to the same conclusions I did, take it to Leroy." She went back out into the night, the sound of a car starting up and pulling away signaling her departure.

Jack carried the computer to his chair and sat down, setting it on the table beside him not bothering to turn it on. If Beth thought it was important enough for his son to see it, then he'd take it to him. He picked up the phone. "Leroy? Dad. Put clean sheets on the guest room bed. I'm coming for a visit. Just a suggestion, but you might want to actually answer your phone now and then instead of pretending you forgot it or turning it off."

**Washington, DC**

**Hotel Mayfair**

This night was _not_ turning out the way Jennifer had planned. The ride up in the elevator had been quiet with John leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets and staring at the floor indicator as if it were the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen.

He hadn't said much since he and Evan had returned from their little errand. When questioned by their colleagues, Evan shrugged, danced a few times with Bobbie then escorted her upstairs. John danced with her, evading all her questions so she never did find out what had happened to Magee.

Her door was almost directly across from his, each of them taking out a keycard as they approached. She was about to slide hers into the slot when he stopped her by taking her hand and turning her to face him.

Something felt different in that touch, but she didn't know what. There was also a faraway look in his eyes even when he looked at her, as if he'd seen or done something that would haunt him…or had been reminded of an incident that already did. Knowing his past, she didn't have to go far to figure it out. She smiled and waited for him to say something.

"Wanna watch a movie? I promise it won't be porn."

Rolling her eyes, Jennifer pushed a few stray hairs off her face. "No thanks. It's been a long night."

"Okay. How about a night cap? We can raid the mini-bar."

When he spoke, his fingers tightened bit by bit until it was almost painful. And that's when she knew. Whatever had happened tonight, he didn't want to be alone. He probably didn't want to talk about it either. Just wanted, needed reassurance. Giving in, she let him lead her into his room and shut the door. "If there's root beer, you've got a deal. And the movie or just some TV."

~~O~~

John watched Angel remove her shoes as he took two brown bottles from the mini-fridge and twisted off the tops. Handing her one, he joined her on the end of the bed. They sat in silence for a while, and he appreciated the time to gather his thoughts. Elbows resting on his knees, the bottle held in his right hand, he told her about the chase, the accident and about Magee but not about his trip into the twilight zone. When he finished, he felt her slender arm slip around his neck as she leaned against him.

"You saved that family. That makes you a hero."

"I'm _not_ a hero. Lorne was there too."

Angel nuzzled his neck. He knew she didn't mean to, but that got him thinking of things he shouldn't be thinking about right now.

"Then that makes both of you heroes."

Her words were soft, sweet and sincere, and he wanted to believe her, turn into her warmth and use it to chase away the memories. But he wouldn't do that to her. Would never do that to her. Urging her off his shoulder, he stood, setting the bottle on the dresser. "I'm gonna get a shower. You're welcome to stay, if you want." John heard the pleading in his voice and the sound of neediness, inwardly cringing. He took boxers and a T-shirt from the dresser drawer, went into the bathroom and shut the door.

When he emerged, his hair and body still damp from the shower, Angel was sitting propped up in the bed with pillows, wearing one of his T-shirts and flipping through the channels. She too had gotten a shower because her hair was down and damp. The television stopped on TV World, a channel that featured classic sitcoms. A campy sixties iconic superhero show was on. Without a word, he propped the other pillow next to hers and they settled down to watch.

Nearly an hour later, Angel was a sleep lying flat on the bed, one fist curled under her cheek, making her look even younger. Watching her, he gave into the urge to brush the hair away from her face. He shut off the television but before he could lay down himself, his cell vibrated, scooting across the bedside table.

"Sheppard."

"_Mr. Sheppard, this is Frank at the front desk. Could you come downstairs please? I'll explain when you get here._"

John recognized the voice as that of the third shift front office supervisor. "Sure."

~~O~~

When John reached the lobby, he saw a small crowd watching something and occasionally cheering lightly. Curious, he moved around the pillars and potted plants until he saw that the object of their attention was his partner. Evan was alone playing an imaginary game of basketball, obviously walking in his sleep again. Frank came up alongside him. "I assume _this_ is what you wanted me to see."

"Yes. He came down about fifteen minutes ago looking for someone named Brian Summers. We didn't have anyone listed by that name and I finally figured out he was sleepwalking. My sister did it as a child."

"I'll take him to his room. Can we keep this between us?"

Frank shrugged and grinned. "I won't say anything if _they_ don't." He jerked his head in the direction of the onlookers.

"Thanks. Can I get a key?" Frank was ready. He passed the keycard over, listening while John gave him a way to spare Evan embarrassment.

Frank agreed and asked the crowd to disperse thanking them for watching while local talent from an improv group worked on a new routine.

~~O~~

As Evan was lining up for a free-throw, John made his presence known. "Hey, Evan. What's the score?"

Evan turned and smiled. "Brian. About time you got here. Thought I was gonna have to play all by myself again."

John could see that his partner's actions and demeanor were that of a much younger person. Maybe ten years old, no more than that. "Sorry. Can't stay and neither can you. Your, uh, mom wants you to get to bed."

"Okay." He willingly followed John to the elevator and up to his floor. John opened the door and ushered him in. Evan stood there looking around in confusion. "This don't look like my bedroom."

"It's not. You and your mom are here on vacation. How about I stay with you until you fall asleep?"

"Cool. Thanks, Bri."

After Evan had gone back to bed and was truly asleep again, John left the keycard on the dresser and went to his own room one floor up. Angel was still asleep only now she was on her side under the covers facing the side of the bed. He crouched in front of her, brushing the hair back and planting a soft kiss on her cheek. She stirred but didn't awaken.

Circling the bed, he lay down, slipping under the covers next to the woman who'd become one of the most important elements in his life. Switching out the light, he watched the shadows flit across the ceiling. The bed shifted and Angel rolled over to cuddle against his left side. He let his arm curve over her back, pulling her close, his hand resting on her ribs thinking he'd never get to sleep now.

He was wrong. And so was Evan. Yes, having a purring cat sleep with you made sleeping pills unnecessary. But having a warm body, especially that of someone who cares for you and that you care for in return, _that_ was the ultimate sleep-bomb.

**NCIS**

**Autopsy Room**

The body on the table was burned almost beyond recognition making it impossible to tell if it had been male or female without an internal exam. Such an exam was being performed now by two men. One elderly and slightly stooped. The other much younger and dark-haired with a perpetually eager expression.

Adjusting the microphone out of his way, the older man stripped off his gloves, washed his hands and sat down at the desk. Glancing at the clock, he mentally counted and when he got to ten, Gibbs entered right on cue.

"What've you got for me, Ducky?"

Sighing, Ducky stood again, picking up a clipboard. "This poor unfortunate young man was still alive when he was set on fire."

"What…"

The door opened again and McGee joined them, his face carefully neutral. "Boss, you have a visitor."

With little patience in his tone, Gibbs didn't even turn around. "Tell 'em to _wait_, McGee. We've got a homicide to solve."

"I think you're gonna want to see this one."

"Why?" McGee walked over to peer into the empty chest cavity of the deceased, grimacing in disgust. "McGee!"

"Oh. Uh, it's your dad."

~~O~~

"You're certain?" Gibbs knew the answer, that's why he asked the question.

"Absolutely. The document you gave me to analyze was written by Colonel Sawyer Hartley and no one else. It has not been altered or tampered with in any way," McGee told his boss without reservation. "It was accessed and read on two occasions though."

"Did you track down Sheppard's current whereabouts?"

"It wasn't easy. Seems he's working for some super-secret department attached to Homeworld Security."

An accented voice intruded into the conversation. "Do you not mean Home_land_ Security?"

"No, Ziva. I do _not_. Home_world _Security is tasked with…"

"Protecting Earth from alien invasions." Their boss made this statement without changing expression. Only his eyes told the story. Gibbs paused to take a sip from his ever-present cup of coffee then set it aside. That same hand picked up the receiver of the landline on the desk, the forefinger dialing from memory. "Jack? Jethro. I need a meet…Yes, with _you_…I suggest you include one of your agents, John Sheppard, and whoever his boss is…Woolsey? Really? The sooner the better." Gibbs stood up, buttoned the front of his sport jacket and took the stairs two at a time, ending up in front of Director Vance's office. Cynthia wasn't at her desk but she wouldn't have been able to stop him anyway. He knocked on the door and entered without awaiting permission.

**Area 52**

**Employee Overnight Area**

**Room 2A**

A towel wrapped around his waist and drying his hair with another, Evan sat at the desk. Tossing the towel over the back of the chair, he powered up his computer. Accessing Area 52's personnel files, he typed in "Sheppard, John T.", his finger poised over the enter key. With a grunt of irritation he shoved the computer away and stood, going to the dresser and closet to take out clean clothes. He'd just pulled on his boxers when his cell rang. Glancing at the caller ID, his eyebrows drew together in puzzlement. "Unknown number?" With a shrug, he hit the answer key. "Hello."

"_Is this Evan Lorne?_"

Not willing to confirm or deny his identity, Evan asked, "Who is this?"

"_My name is David Sheppard." _There was a pause._ "John Sheppard is my brother._"

Evan's back straightened in shock. "How did you get this number?"

A chuckle came from his caller. "_Our company does a lot of business for Stargate Command._"

"Wait. You're _that_ David Sheppard?"

"'_Fraid so_." Again there was a pause, not as long this time. "_What I want to know…the reason I'm calling is…I haven't seen or spoken to my brother in almost twenty years. Our father disinherited him just before he joined the Air Force. I've kept tabs on him since then, but he disappeared a few months ago. Thought he might be dead. At least I __did__ until he called a few weeks back then again last week. He didn't say anything but I knew it was him. Please, tell me, is he okay?_"

Now Evan knew why John had gotten drunk that night. The call to his brother had been the impetus. And what he'd taken for drunken ranting had been the truth. He _had_ been disowned by his family or at least by his only surviving parent. Evan thought about what to say and how to say it to his partner's brother. The answer wasn't as hard as it might have seemed. With a smile, Evan finally relaxed back in the chair. "Mr. Sheppard, your brother is doing fine. He's well, maybe not as happy as he'd like or deserves to be, but working on it."

A long sigh of relief reached through to Evan. "_That's…that's good. Great. I was so afraid he'd died and I wouldn't be able to ask his forgiveness for all the wasted years._"

"I am happy to say that you'll get that chance and soon. Just give him time to forgive himself. There _is_ one more thing you should know." Evan's smile turned into a grin. "Mr. Sheppard, your brother is a hero."

~~O~~

Evan hung up the phone pleased with the role he'd decided to play on the strength of a hunch. He'd taken on the task of helping his partner reconcile with his estranged family. And dammit! It felt _good_.

Vaulting out of the chair, he quickly dressed then headed for the women's locker room. He pounded on the door until Cooper finally stuck her head out. Her hair was dry on one side but not the other. "What the hell do you _want_, Lorne? I'm tryin' to get dressed here."

"How about dinner and a movie? On me."

Bobbie's eyes narrowed at him with suspicion. "_You_ offering to foot the bill for a night out? Have you been fighting with Sheppard again? Hit your head? Had a stroke?"

He chuckled. "No."

"Then yes, dinner and a movie sound great. Give me five minutes to make myself beautiful."

She slammed the door in Evan's face when he said, "You want to look _beautiful?_ I'll go grab a snack 'cause that's gonna take _hours_."

**Homeworld Security**

**Office of General Jack O'Neill**

"Director Richard Woolsey, Special Agent John Sheppard, meet Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs of NCIS."

The men shook hands, John's forehead creased in thought. "I met a Jackson Gibbs on a case a few weeks ago. Nice old coot."

Gibbs gave up a rare smile. "That old _coot_ is my _father_."

John had the good sense to be embarrassed. "Oh. Sorry." At least until Gibbs' response let him off the hook.

"Don't be. He _is_ an old coot." 

After everyone had been seated, Woolsey spoke. "So, what's this all about, General?"

O'Neill exchanged a look with Gibbs before speaking. "New evidence has come to light in the chopper crash in which Sheppard was the pilot." Before he could go on, Lieutenant Velasquez entered, passing each man a cup of hot coffee made just the way he liked it.

Woolsey looked at his cup as if it might be tainted in some way. "How did…"

Waving a hand to stop Woolsey's question, O'Neill said, "She just _knows_." He took a sip and set the cup on a coaster that Velasquez insisted he use. Opening a manila folder, he took out two hard copies and passed them to Sheppard and Woolsey. "Read. I'll wait."

~~O~~

"_I, Sawyer Edward Hartley, being of sound mind and not so sound body, do solemnly swear that the events I am about to relate are true to the best of my recollection._

"_In the case of U.S. v Air Force O-3, Captain John T. Sheppard is innocent of all charges surrounding the crash of Air Force unit NFD-1855B, commonly known as Betty Boop. He is specifically innocent of the charge of disobeying orders and thereby causing the deaths of four members of the military and eight civilians._

"_Captain Sheppard was given permission by me to travel to the area known by the code name Short Stack for the purpose of rescuing November Squad trapped in an area of heavy fighting. What I did not know at the time was that the unit I gave him the go-ahead to take was in for maintenance due to a faulty fuel gauge. When the crash occurred, I denied giving such consent as I was on the list for promotion. I lied to my superiors, to the judge, to the prosecuting and defense attorneys and to myself. The latter eventually became the cause of the break-up of my marriage…_"

John had to remember to breathe as he read the document O'Neill had given him. It was so much to take in that his brain seemed to have shut down from the overload.

After all the years of dealing with the guilt and having the deaths of so many hanging over his head like the sword of Damocles, he was finally exonerated. Maybe. He'd see what O'Neill had to say first.

Carefully closing the file and setting it on the edge of the desk, John kept his features neutral waiting for the next shoe to drop.

**TBC**


	34. A Life Worthwhile

**A/N:** Thanks again to ladygris for her Beta of this chapter. She came up with some really good ideas when I was too drugged out by my pain meds to think.

And a special thanks goes out to her spouse, Lithane for his assistance as well.

Namaste,

Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 34**

**A Life Worthwhile**

"Lorne! Hey, Lorne." Barry Miller jogged to catch up with Evan. The two men were about the same height with the pilot being blonde with blue eyes where Evan had dark hair. "Where you headed?"

"The maintenance hangar for some one-on-one with Sheppard. Why?"

Barry snorted. "More basketball? Didn't get enough in DC?"

Shooting Barry a confused glare, Evan opened the exit that lead outside. "I haven't played in years."

"Oh, really? Then what were doing in the lobby with that imaginary ball?" Barry mimed a hook shot. "Knitting booties?"

With a sudden understanding, Evan grinned. "Well, that wasn't exactly my best game. Refresh my memory. Who else was there?"

"From our group? Just Sheppard." Now Barry was confused that Evan didn't seem to remember the incident. "You and he talked then went upstairs together. You got a mean slam-dunk, by the way."

"Thanks. But you didn't hunt me down to praise my make-believe basketball skills."

"Right. A bunch of us are going to the MMA Amateur Night at the Serendipity. You and Shepp wanna join us? I'm competing." Barry was well known for his exceptional mastery of several martial arts disciplines as well as his deep commitment to the Lord.

"Thanks for the invite, but we've got a mission briefing later." Evan didn't like lying to the man but also didn't want to invite more questions he couldn't answer. "Good luck."

Evan watched Barry walk away, his mind filling in a few blanks from that night. He remembered dropping Cooper at her room then going to his own room where he showered and went to bed. The next morning, he found a keycard on the dresser and another on the bedside table. He hadn't been issued two at check-in and thought it odd. Now he realized he must have gone sleepwalking that night and someone had called his partner to come get him. Sheppard had obviously taken him upstairs to bed though he hadn't mentioned it the next day or since.

He supposed it was John's way of showing him the same level of trust that he'd shown by not mentioning his meltdown at the accident. It was a telling moment in the relationship they shared as partners, bringing them that much closer to being friends. The only roadblock to that final step was the truth about the crash. Evan hoped these incidents would pave the way.

~~O~~

The hanger echoed with the squeak of athletic shoes on the cement as two men fought over the orange ball. The taller man finally wrenched it away from the shorter one, dribbled it down the court with his opponent in pursuit, dunking it in a split second before he was slammed into the padded wall. Panting, the two men sank down to the floor.

When their breathing had eased somewhat, John got to his feet and snagged his water bottle. After a good long swig, he used his towel to wipe his face. Next to him, Evan was doing the same. "That's it for me. Think I'll get a shower. Um, you wanna grab a beer?"

Looked around seeing they're the only two there, Evan pointed to himself. "Seriously? You're asking _me _to grab a beer?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Just strange, that's all." He paused to think it over. Or at least giving the appearance of it. "I'm gonna shower too. Don't wanna run off any of the ladies."

John snorted. "Yeah, like you're worried about anyone in _this_ galaxy." He ignored the glare Evan shot his way as they entered their rooms.

~~O~~

The bar and grill they'd chosen wasn't fancy nor was it the Fancy Nickel, thank goodness. It was just some out of the way place that was noisy enough they wouldn't be overheard and not too crowded.

The remains of burgers and fries had been pushed off to the side and each was on his second beer when John reached into his back pocket and slid a document across the table.

"What's this?"

"Just read it."

~~O~~

Evan twisted his bottle back and forth creating a series of rings on the table in front of him. Under his other hand lay the document John had given him. He'd read it through twice to make sure he understood everything.

"So?"

"I don't know what to say _or_ think just yet. Can I get back to you?"

John nodded, took a drink from his bottle, his eyes flicking to the side before he leaned back in his chair.

"And?"

"And what?" Eyes staying on the table, John grabbed one last fry from his abandoned plate and popped it in his mouth.

"There's more. What is it?"

A long sigh escaped from his partner's chest that his partner could read him so well. "O'Neill offered full reinstatement at the rank of Major."

"Yeah?" Evan's eyebrows lifted is surprise. "So what're you gonna do?"

"Haven't decided."

Evan watched him from the corner of his eye, considering that he'd never seen the man so tranquil. No, that wasn't the word. It was close, but not quite right. Peaceful. As if a weight had been removed though he'd probably carry the guilt for the remainder of his life but at least now he knew he had a life worth living. He also sensed that it wouldn't be much longer before John would be ready to talk about the crash. All he had to do was wait. And Evan was good at waiting.

"What did Jennifer say?"

Looking away, John fiddled with his beer bottle in embarrassment. "Haven't told her yet."

"Why all the secrecy, Sheppard?" Evan took a deep breath. "She has been there for you through all of this, supported you even when you didn't deserve it. When are you going to trust her enough to tell her the truth?" He could see his words hit home in the sharp glance that came his way. He also could see that John heard the unspoken _When are you going to trust ME?_

John's answer was a shrug though Evan had the feeling that by this time tomorrow, Jennifer will have been told everything. "You play pool?"

"Yeah."

"Let's grab a table and play a few games. Loser buys the next round."

The partners moved over to the pool tables and spent the couple of hours challenging each other.

~~O~~

It was early evening when they got back on the road, the sun dropping behind the tops of the mountains in the distance.

Instead of going straight back to Area 52, John drove to Hoover Dam. Evan had seen him holding Caitlin's pendant but didn't ask about it, and he was grateful. Somehow his partner knew it wasn't time though the time had come to put another piece of the past to rest.

John got out, Evan staying with the truck. Walking to the middle of the Dam, he leaned his elbows on the railing, the Celtic Cross in his right hand, his thumb tracing the design, turning it over to read the inscription while he deliberately sought out memories of Caitlin, especially their last night together. He'd almost told her he loved her but held back and now wished he hadn't because she died not knowing. And the promise he'd made to her that night would remain broken with no way to correct the situation.

He'd reached a turning point in his life and needed to make a clean start. And that clean start would begin with letting go of this particular piece of the past.

Straightening, he held the pendant in his right fist, cocking his arm back for another of the Hail Mary's that he'd been famous for in college, but before he could let loose, a voice intruded.

"Whatcha doin', Mister?"

Stopping in mid-throw, John said, "What's it to ya, kid?"

"Mom says you're not 'sposed to throw stuff in the resi…resvis…"

"Reservoir."

"Yeah."

"Well, your mom is absolutely…" He looked at her now. The girl was approximately seven years old with bright red hair in a bun on top of her head, a few little curls framing her face, and blue eyes. With a start he thought how she resembled Caitlin. Tucking the pendant into his pocket, John looked around but no other adults were close to them. When he didn't continue, she turned away. "You're not here alone are you?"

The look she gave him was similar to the one Sparky gave him when she thought he was being an idiot…which was most of the time. "'Course not. I'm just a _kid_." She turned and shouted to a young woman reading a brochure. "Mom!" Her mother rushed to her side, pulling her daughter close, obviously suspicious of an adult male talking to her child. "Mom, this is my new friend. I don't know his name."

Seeing that the woman was about to drag the girl away, maybe even call the cops, John rushed to assuage her apprehension. He reached into his back pocket and produced his ID. "Sorry, ma'am. I should've introduced myself to _you_ before talking to your daughter. Special Agent John Sheppard." He held it out until she was satisfied that the man in the photo was indeed the man standing in front of her then put it away again. They shook hands with her warily deciding to trust him but only so far.

"I'm Dacey and this is Molly. What can we do for you, Agent Sheppard?"

"I'd like to talk to your daughter if that's okay. Just for a minute." At her reluctant nod, he crouched in front of the girl. "Hi, Molly. My name's John."

The little girl smiled happily, obviously delighted with her first adult friend. "Hi, John."

"Think your mom would mind if I gave you a gift, something to seal our new friendship?" He glanced at Dacey who nodded. Reaching into his pocket, he took out the pendant he'd been carrying around for so many years. He handed it to Dacey who hooked it around her daughter's neck. "It used to belong to a friend of mine. She's gone now. You sort of remind me of her and I think she'd like you to have it."

"What is it?"

"It's called a Celtic cross. No one's really sure what it means but it's used by lots of people as a symbol of pride in their Irish heritage. With that red hair and that name you must have some Irish in you somewhere."

"Oh." Molly seemed a bit confused but didn't pursue the matter. "What was her name?"

Clearing his suddenly tight throat, John tried to smile. "Caitlin. You might not understand what I'm saying right now, but you will one day." He looked her in the eyes. "Mahatma Gandhi said, 'you must be the change you wish to see in the world.' I means don't be afraid to try new things, visit new places or meet new people, with your mom's permission of course."

Molly looked up at her mom smiling. Dacey rested her hands on the girl's shoulders. "Thank you, Agent Sheppard. That's very kind of you. Come on, honey. It's time to head back."

John watched them walk away hand in hand, Molly examining the pendant with curiosity. He looked out over the reservoir, his hands on the rail.

~~O~~

Evan thought about the scene he'd witnessed at the dam. He watched John give the little girl the pendant he'd been holding and now some of the stiffness had returned to his appearance. John took out his phone, pausing a few seconds before dialing. He couldn't explain how he knew that his partner was calling his brother. He also knew that his call would be well received. With a smile of satisfaction, Evan waited.

~~O~~

John pulled out his phone, a sudden urge to hear his brother's voice almost overwhelming him. Pacing back and forth on the Dam, he dialed Dave's number and waited impatiently for him to answer.

"_Sheppard_."

Again John couldn't speak. Just hearing Dave's voice made all the things he wanted to say catch in his throat.

"_I know its you, John. Please say something_." There was a long pause where all John could do was open his mouth. "_If you're not going to talk to me, I'm hanging up._"

It sounded like a threat and John took it as such. "Don't! I mean, please, don't hang up." Everything he wanted to say churned and swirled within him. "Uh, how you been?" _Great opener, John!_ Dave's happiness shot through the phone making John smile and the backs of his eyes sting.

"_Better now that you're actually talking to me. You?_"

"Getting by. How's the family?"

"_Great. We, uh, have a lot to catch up on_."

"Yeah. Uh, Dave…I…miss you." There, he said it, admitted to God and everyone that he missed his brother. The sky didn't fall and a bolt of lightning didn't strike him down.

"_I miss you, too, big brother. When…_"

"Dave…can I…can I come home?" John almost dropped the phone when his brother made a sound almost as if he were on the verge of tears. It made John's own tears want to be free, but he kept them in by using every bit of will power he'd gained over the months of going to GA.

"_Do you __really__ have to ask?_"

"I didn't know…I wasn't certain I'd be welcome. You know, because of…"

Now Dave sounded angry though not at John. "_That was __Dad__. He pushed you away when you needed the support of your family behind you, and I am so, so sorry that I went along with it for so long._"

"But…"

"_How soon can you get here? Annie and the kids are anxious to meet you. Dylan and Haley. Sixteen and fourteen respectively._"

The excitement in Dave's voice had replaced the rage making John laugh. "I…"

"Sheppard!"

Evan's voice cut into the conversation John was having with his brother. "Hold on." Holding the phone against his chest to muffle it, John waited for Evan to join him. "Yeah?"

"Woolsey just called. Needs us ASAP."

"Be right there." He waited until Evan had moved out of earshot before lifting the phone to his ear again. "Um, I gotta go. Look, Dave, there's something I have to do, but as soon as it's over, I'll be there."

"_Looking forward to it. John?_"

"Yeah?"

"_I…_" This time Dave hesitated and when he spoke again, John got the feeling he'd been about to say something else. "_I'm glad we finally talked_."

"Me too."

"_Take care of yourself._"

John quipped, "No promises. See you soon."

~~O~~

Evan watched John jog back to the truck and he was actually smiling. Not his usual smile, the one he put on for show. But a genuine smile that told him his partner was experiencing real happiness for one of the few times since he'd known him. They'd gone about five miles when he began to speak.

"We got word that November Squad was trapped in an area of heavy fighting and I convinced Hartley to let me go after them. When I got there, they were protecting a group of civilians suspected of being in league with rebels working the area. I'd only planned on bringing back the squad and their field medic, but I couldn't leave the civilians behind or they'd be killed. An older couple and their family, including two children. They weren't _rebels_. Just a family trying to survive under the most horrific conditions. Eight of them living in a one-room shack, the rest of their home destroyed.

"The chopper was too small to take everyone in one trip so it was decided that Caitlin, Justice, Salazar and the family would go. I'd refuel and come back for the rest. Cait tried to stay behind to tend to the squad's injuries but they sent her packing. I had to physically carry her to the chopper and order her in and she _still_ argued with me.

"Salazar and Justice took positions in the open doors as we took off, the rest of the squad covering our take-off. We were within five miles of the base camp when the engine began to sputter. The fuel gauge still showed a quarter tank, more than enough to make it, when the indicator suddenly dropped to empty. We lost altitude while taking fire from the ground…"

**Afghanistan**

**2004**

_Bullets pinged off the tail rotor, doors and skids causing the passengers to scream in fear. John knew the single-engine chopper was overloaded but it couldn't be helped. He'd taken as many as he could. Beside him, Caitlin ducked instinctively. He wanted to reassure her but needed to concentrate on getting them all back to the base camp in one piece._

"_Justice! How's it looking down there?"_

"_We got three 452's and two 469's, armed to the teeth. Why don't you…" the engine sputtered, the chopper tilting side to side. The adults gasped, pulling the children close when they cried out. "What the f***?" _

_Second Lieutenant Virgil Justice was African-American, a big man, well over six feet, weighing in at two thirty-seven, all of it muscle, his head completely bald under his helmet. Born and raised in the Bronx in the middle of drug wars and gangs, joining the military was his way of fighting it on a larger scale._

"_Hey! Wanna watch it there, Cap? I almost fell out." Salazar had escaped falling when two of the men grabbed him around the waist. Eloy Salazar had your typical mid-western farm boy looks. Light brown hair and eyes, barely making it to six feet, his two-ten frame had been honed from a life spent on the ski slopes in and around Boulder and Denver._

"_Sorry. We got hit in the fuel tank, but looks like we're gonna make it, __if__ you can get those guys to stop shooting at us." _

_The soldiers didn't bother to respond. They just let loose with a volley of weapons fire that would have sent lesser men running for cover. But these men had been fighting this particular fight so long it was a part of them, as if they'd been born with M-16's in their hands. They were persistent and determined to drive the American forces from their homeland and were using their own weapons against them in the fight._

_Banking around to the left, John brought the chopper over a small forested area that forced the vehicles to cease their pursuit. But the trees presented a different problem to the airship. _

_John's eyes landed on the fuel gauge again, the indicator dropping to a level too low for them to reach the base camp. Again, they began to lose altitude, the skids brushing the tops of the trees just as he passed over a clearing, banking around to the right. One of the pursuing rebel vehicles had managed to catch up to them. They fired at them, several rounds hitting the canopy and thankfully missing the occupants, or so he thought. A shout from Salazar told him that Justice had been hit and the man had fallen from the open doorway._

_John didn't have time to mourn the loss of a good man because up ahead he could see a military convoy halted, the soldiers firing at the rebels, forcing them to retreat. Suddenly, the engine cut out again, the main rotor slowing then coming to a stop. Without the lift it provided, the chopper began sinking like a stone. _

_He didn't have time to warn his passengers before they crashed into the Deuce._

**Las Vegas, Nevada**

**Present**

John's voice trailed off and Evan didn't encourage him to continue because no more needed to be said. The aftermath didn't need to be rehashed. There'd been enough of that over the years and in the months since they'd become partners. And he'd finally gotten everything he'd wanted when he took this job.

The partners rode in silence that seemed as if it would go on forever…until John spoke again.

"Tell me about Lee. What was she like?"

Evan shifted in his seat, a smile coming to his face. "Lee and I were born within days of each other, but couldn't have looked less alike if we'd tried. As a kid, my hair was dark blonde and hers was always jet black, kind of like Doc Adams'. Took after her dad except for the eyes." He indicated his own.

"As tweens, the three of us, my sister Courtney, Lee and I, spent so much time together we were called The Triplets by both families. When high school came around, Court had received a scholarship from one of the best art schools in California so it was just me and Lee for the next few years." He chuckled. "She always made me laugh when no one else could.

"After college, I joined the Air Force. She joined a couple of years later against her dad's wishes. Sort of a late bloomer as far as rebellion goes. Disliked being called 'the good girl' and the Air Force was her way of breaking out of the mold her parents wanted her to fit into." Evan shot a glance at John. "She was an exceptionally skilled cryptographer and planned on continuing with it after her last tour." His tone and expression saddened.

"After the funeral, my aunt told me that Lee had been seeing a superior officer against the non-frat regs. The pathologist could have used the baby's DNA to find out who the father was, but she begged them not to. Her daughter was gone. She didn't see any reason to ruin more lives."

His recitation done, Evan turned to look out the side window. They'd be at Area 52 in another five minutes.

"Sorry I didn't know her. Sounds like a nice girl. You taught her well."

"We taught each other."

~~O~~

The sun had gone down by the time the truck pulled into its assigned space at the motor pool, the partners going to their rooms. An unspoken agreement not to mention their heart-to-heart passed between them with an exchange of glances and a nod.

John was immediately out of his room again, jogging down the hall and knocking on Woolsey's door. He was admitted by Tish. "Doc, I'm glad I caught you. Got a few minutes?"

"Just about. What's up?"

"I'm ready to talk about Afghanistan."

Tish couldn't and didn't hide her surprise at John's insistence on finally talking about the crash. She'd tried on several occasions but he'd refused to say a word. "Of course. Let's go to my office and…"

"Woolsey needs to hear this too." Tish took one chair while John seated himself in the other. "I'll just tell it to you the way I told it to Lorne."

And he did.

**Island of Newfoundland, Canada**

**The Next Morning**

Clouds scudded across the sky and wind pushed its way around the two men standing beside a rental car on the side of the road making them shiver though they were dressed for the colder weather. They had a paper map spread out on the hood, peering closely at it then at their surroundings. Though they'd recently come to an understanding, they still felt the need to snipe at each other.

"…So we took this road, turned right on that one and stayed on it for two hours…" John was saying.

"…which leaves us lost," Evan finished for him.

"If you hadn't gotten the GPS wet…"

"_Me?_ _You're_ the one who dropped it in the water."

"Because _you_ bumped into me."

"I was _trying_ to get away from that young woman who thought I was a famous Canadian actor. Kevin something." Evan waved a hand. "Let's _not_ get into it again."

Grinning, John shook his head. "Kavan."

"I'm sure she said Kevin."

"Nope. His name's _Kavan_ Smith. And you look _nothing_ like him."

His forehead creased in puzzlement. "I _don't?_"

"No. He's much better looking." John said with a smirk.

Evan decided to simply ignore the dig at his appearance and get back to practical matters. "So how do we get to the village where we have reservations?"

John picked up the map, turning in a circle as he tried to work out where they were, reading again the street signs on the corner. With a huff, he lowered the map. "I have _no_ idea."

**TBC**

**A/N:** The vehicles described are Russian-made. Info on the UAZ-452's and UAZ-469's can be found on Wikipedia. Just type in "UAZ."


	35. A Daring Adventure

**A/N:** First let me thank dwparsnip for his invaluable assistance with this chapter. His insight into the culture of the area helped to make this a fun segment to write, especially the Screeching In.

And as always, thanks go out to ladygris for her wonderful Beta services. Her comments sometimes spark ideas that change the course of events, and that's usually a good thing.

FYI - One more chapter to go plus an epilogue and this story is complete. If you want an OC or canon character to make an appearance, get your bid in soon.

_Merci_ and _Gracias_,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 35**

**A Daring Adventure**

A nondescript sedan pulled up in front of the hardware store and a tall man got out. Like most of the residents of Newfoundland his face carried a pleasant expression and one could tell by the gentle lines on his face that he seldom frowned or glared. He walked with a lively, self-confident step. Pocketing his keys, he rounded the back of his car, whistling as he headed for the front door.

He stopped, noticing two men standing beside their car, one pacing as he used his cell phone to make a call. The man was speaking in angry tones, glaring at the person on the other end of the phone. He didn't mean to eavesdrop but couldn't help it. American. Both of them.

"No. I told you, we're in Taint. _How_ do we get to Kizzmareas?"

The man listening couldn't help laughing at the American's pronunciation of the town he was looking for. He walked up to the strangers and waited to be noticed. The taller man excused himself to the other person and looked at him. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry to intrude, but are you looking for Aileen's Dis'll DoYa Inn?"

He exchanged a look with the shorter man. "Yeah. How did you…"

"It's the only place to stay in _Kiss-Me-Arse_." He gestured and the phone was handed to him. "Aileen? Darnell. I'll help them on their way. Just make sure their rooms and dinner are ready. They look more than a bit knackered. Oh, and gather the gang for a double Screech In. Bye." He handed the phone back to the owner. "Aileen'll take good care of you. And I should introduce myself. Darnell Shipton."

~~O~~

John looked over their benefactor as they shook hands. He was bald as an egg, a little on the chubby side though not too much, and slightly taller than John. "John Sheppard." He pointed at his partner. "Evan Lorne. Thanks for your help. We've been lost on this _rock_ all day."

"That happens a lot with tourists." Darnell didn't seem to take offense at the derisive tone and slur on his homeland. "Mind if I ask what brings the two of you to our little island?"

"Fishing." It was the first thing John thought of and it made Darnell laugh.

"Aileen's place is a little far from the coast for fishing." His eyes danced with amusement. "To get where you're going, take the Trans-Canada Highway to 405. That's about an hour past, and no, I'm not joking, Sheppardville. You'll be turning right. A short drive down is Kiss-Me-Arse. Aileen's will be on the left just inside the limits. Oh, and watch out for moose. There'll be signs, but even if you don't _see_ signs, watch out for moose." Darnell nodded and turned away.

"Darnell, wait." Remembering what he'd heard and read about Canadians, McKay notwithstanding, John changed his approach to the islander. "Uh, _please_ wait. What was that you said before, Screeching In?"

"It's a tradition for first-time visitors to the island. Before you bed down for the night, go to the bar. The locals will be happy to explain it to you." He nodded a good-bye and continued on his errand.

"Moose?" Evan and John said at the same time watching Darnell enter the hardware store.

~~O~~

Evan sat forward in his seat as much as the seatbelt would allow scanning the road in front of the car as John drove along at 10 kilometers under the posted speed limit which was about 30 kph slower than his partner usually drove. Darnell had advised them to look out for moose and afterward they'd argued over who would drive. Following a quick round of rock-paper-scissors, it had been decided that John would continue as the driver with Evan as a lookout.

"So how'd it go with Teyla?"

"What?"

John snorted. "You _did_ talk to her while you were in Atlantis, right?"

"Yes, we talked." Evan didn't want to discuss this subject and not just because he didn't want to share his feelings with John. He needed to concentrate on the road ahead because four eyes were better than two. "Talked to her ex, too." He shot a quick look to the left when John made a sound of skepticism. "Okay so we didn't _exactly_ talk."

"What _did_ you do?"

"Uh…got into a fight." A pause, then, "_He_ started it."

"Really?" Again the disbelief. "So you and he fought over a woman who'd already chosen _you_ over him?"

"Look, Sheppard, this isn't a subject I want to knock around with you or anyone else."

"Fine." Evan could feel the shrug. "What _should_ we talk about?"

_Turnabout is fair play._ "You and Jennifer."

John cleared his throat. "Maybe we should just watch the road."

"Thought you'd say…oh _crap!_" Evan braced himself on the dashboard when John slammed on the brakes just as a moose strolled onto the roadway and stopped. It stood there looking around as if it were lost, the horns identifying it as a male.

~~O~~

"Darnell wasn't kidding." Quiet descended until John became impatient to be on his way. "Should I honk the horn?" Without waiting for an answer, he tooted at the enormous creature, but it didn't even flinch. "Now what?"

"I have no idea." Evan huffed. "Moose were pretty scarce in San Francisco while I was growing up. A guy named Moose was in my high school graduating class, but that was it."

"Didn't see any in Huntington Beach either."

What neither of them noticed right away was that the moose had gotten bored with the game and had left for greener pastures. When someone drove around them, they shared a sheepish look, John put the car in gear and they were off again. Luckily they were closer to their destination than they thought and within just a few minutes they were climbing the steps to the front entrance of Aileen's Dis'll DoYa Inn. It was adjoined by a pub, the entrance facing away from them. That was obviously where the Screeching, whatever it was, would be done.

~~O~~

Aileen was a smiling sweet-faced woman in her forties with white blonde hair and green eyes. She checked them in then showed them to their rooms.

"If you need anything, day or night, just dial 199." As she talked she opened first one door then another. "Now you boys put your things away, freshen up, take a nap if you need to. When you feel up to it, come down to the pub. We'll get you fed before the Screech In gets going." She handed them each what looked like the card police carried around with the Miranda warning written on it, but the words didn't make any sense to either agent.

"Ma'am, what's this about?" Evan asked from the doorway of his room across from John's.

"It's a longtime custom here in Newfoundland." She never stopped smiling. "First time visitors to the island go into a bar, drink a shot of Screech Rum, kiss a codfish on the mouth, and answer the question 'Is ye an honorary Newfoundlander?' with the phrase 'Indeed I is me ol' cock, and long may your big jib draw.' Once you've done that, you'll receive an official 'Screecher' certificate. Screeching In isn't not required, but if you decide against it, there'll be a lot of disappointed people in the pub tonight." With a smile and a nod, she left the two men standing there watching her walk to the end of the hall and descend the stairs thinking that hunting Replicators seemed normal in comparison.

**The Next Morning**

John stood in the bathroom brushing his teeth for the fourth time since the previous night. He still tasted the codfish but wasn't certain if it was his imagination or not. Swishing mouthwash, he spit it out, rinsed out the sink and stepped into the hall.

Despite the after effects, he'd had a good time at the ceremony, though being the center of attention didn't help their investigation in the way keeping a low profile would. Darnell and Aileen, whom they discovered were husband and wife, were friendly, charismatic and very entertaining hosts. They lead sing-alongs, as well as providing champagne to celebrate the engagement of a young couple who'd both grown up in the area. They'd even initiated a drinking game that both men had declined to be involved in and, for the evening at least, didn't worry about doing their jobs.

Downstairs, Evan already had a cup of coffee in front of him and was talking with Darnell. John joined his partner, they ate breakfast then set about methodically questioning the locals in order to locate the Replicators hiding in the area.

They did _not_ have a lot of success. Not that people weren't helpful. It's just that they didn't seem to know anything or weren't willing to tell tales about their neighbors. Living in America definitely had its advantages.

~~O~~

*The Americans have been asking questions.*

**About the others?**

*Yes.*

**We need not concern ourselves. They will leave once they do not find what they're looking for.**

*What if they discover that we have formed a collective of our own that is…off the radar of Stargate Command?*

**Humans have a saying. We will cross that bridge when we come to it.**

*Of course. Be safe.*

**And you.**

**Early Evening**

**Darnell's Dive**

As far as John could tell there were no strangers in the bar, just the locals. Everyone seemed to know everyone else, though he wasn't completely convinced.

They had finally located the Replicator and chased it, losing him for a while on a small back road. Eventually they'd found the vehicle abandoned where it had skidded into a ditch and had followed his footprints to the pub. Either they were hiding him or he'd shape-changed into another form. No matter which it was, they had to catch him before he got away and brought more of his kind to the island and to Earth. They knew he was the leader of the group hiding in the area, but didn't have descriptions of the others. Wouldn't have helped anyway for things that could change shape.

Pretending to take a sip of beer, he whispered to Evan, "How the _hell_ are we supposed to know which are the humans and which are the Replicators? We can't just walk up and say, 'mind letting me cut you with this knife to see if you bleed?'"

Evan turned his head to the side, his hand coming up to scratch his nose. "ARG. Anti-Replicator Gun."

"At the SGC." John looked inward remembering and letting his mind work on a solution at the same time. "We're not sure how many of them there are, right?"

"Right." Evan saw the light in John's eyes and refused to let a grin take over. "_You_ have an idea."

"Yeah." He finished off his beer with a grimace and grabbed the last crab cake from the basket. "Meet me outside in thirty minutes."

"But…"

John didn't hear the rest. He finished off the crab cake as he stepped outside and activated his GDO. Seconds later, he was onboard the _Daedalus_, but only for a moment. He made a quick request and was immediately transported to the SGC where he found Rodney in his lab. He laid out his plan and apparently it was intriguing enough that it got the physicist's attention.

However, one element had Rodney concerned. Well, more than one. "As much as I'd like to help you, Sam's at Woolsey's wedding and I'm on baby duty." The double stroller sat in the corner, the babies asleep.

"But you _can_ do it, right?" John hadn't felt this excited about something in a long time. "Or was all that bragging just blowing smoke out your…"

"_Yes_, of _course_ I can do it. Getting the ARG's will be easy. But we can't just waltz into Area 52 and take what we need." He watched John's face and knew he was considering it. "Can we?"

All John did was grin, one eyebrow raised, and Rodney was hooked. He handed John the equipment he would need and carefully rolled the stroller down the hall to the elevator. They got out on the Operations level and went straight to the private elevator at the back of the Gate Room. Walter was, of course, on duty, Siler working in the back room.

"Walter, Sly, I need the two of you to watch the kids."

"But, Dr. McKay…"

"You're the Godfathers. Get _used_ to it." He grabbed one of the computers from John and sent Walter a list of instructions including his final destination and possible course of action upon arrival. "If I'm not back in three hours, not a minute more, contact General Carter. Tell her where I've gone and why."

Before either man could respond, Rodney had activated his own GDO and moments later both men were in the lobby of Area 52, John leading the way toward a specific hangar.

~~O~~

Nursing his beer and watching the clock, Evan gave the appearance of being relaxed and comfortable in his chair, ready to stay in that spot until closing time. Then at exactly thirty minutes, he went to the bar to pay the tab, thanking Darnell and Aileen before leaving by the front door.

Outside, the rental car was still in the same place they'd parked it when they returned from the chase and John was nowhere to be found. Turning in a circle, he scanned the area. Still no John. Then a low humming that barely registered on his hearing started almost as if he were imagining it, getting louder until there was no doubt that it was coming from above him.

Scanning the sky, the air rippled and hovering against the darkening sky appeared one of the small cylindrical shuttles he'd heard about on Atlantis and had seen in the videos, a Jumper. His eyes went wide as it banked around and landed in a small clearing between the trees. The back hatch opened and he cautiously entered. "Sheppard? Where the hell did you learn to fly one of these?" Evan nodded to Rodney but didn't speak as he was working on a series of ARG's linked together, fiber optic cables trailing up into a dropped down maintenance hatch in the ceiling, tools and equipment strewn around him.

John shrugged casually. "Had a few lessons on Atlantis though it just seems to come naturally. But that's beside the point. The point _is_ McKay is working on a way to have the ARG's work with the Jumper's scanning capabilities. If this works…"

"_If?_" The interjection and a snort of irritation came from Rodney. "Don't you mean _when_?"

He was ignored by John. "_When_ this works, we'll be able to take out all the Replicators at once, even the ones we couldn't identify. One blast and our job is done. We get to take a few days of well-earned downtime in warmer weather with the companions of our choice and all's right with the universe. Or at least our little corner of it."

"Sounds like a plan. When do we go live?"

"Now." Rodney got to his feet, a computer tablet cradled in his left arm as the right continued to tap at the keys. "By using two ARG's in tandem, we'll have a radius of about twenty kilometers."

Evan squinted at the physicist. "So what's that in miles?"

"That would be 12.42742. Approximately the size of this quaint little hamlet." Rodney came forward, glaring at Evan who'd taken the shotgun seat, and dropped into the one behind John.

"Time to see it in action. How curious are Canadians? What can we do to get them all outside?" John meant it as a mild insult and Rodney took it as such.

"Just because we're not as ill-mannered as Americans doesn't mean…never _mind_." The last was said when he realized that the other two were giving him "oh really" stares. "Cloak the ship, call the bar, and ask them to step outside."

It seemed almost too simple, but John did as Rodney suggested while Evan made the call. And sure enough, all of the occupants of the bar streamed out the front door, Darnell and Aileen at the forefront. They stood around waiting for whatever it was that Evan wanted to show them.

The two agents exchanged a look that said they didn't want to do this but didn't have a choice. With an edge to his voice, John told Rodney, "Do it!"

Without acknowledging John's order, Rodney tapped the keypad in a specific sequence, the ARG's began to glow and hum. A ripple passed through the air radiating out from the Jumper in all directions.

~~O~~

Evan watched the crowd as several of the gathered literally fell apart, turning into small piles of inert metal. He was so mesmerized that he turned sharply when John slapped him on the arm and pointed, his own face taking on a similar expression of shock and dismay when Aileen and Darnell, holding hands, also dissolved, the link between their nanites completely disrupted. Those around them expressed their own shock at having people they'd known for years suddenly shown _not_ to be who they thought they were.

"Oh, _crap!_ What did we just do?" Evan whispered stunned to find out that the couple they'd befriended were human form Replicators.

With the same sense of shock, Rodney explained. "There's a faction of Replicators that came to our attention very recently. They are to the Replicators as the Tok'ra are to the Goa'uld, holding differing philosophies and values regarding humans. There's a collective living in a small town outside of Alamogordo, New Mexico where its easy to keep an eye on them. Apparently there are, or _were_, more living on Earth than we'd originally estimated."

"And we just killed the good Replicators along with the bad ones. Son of a _bitch!_" This was the first time John had ever used that particular curse though his companions felt he was justified. "So how do we explain it to Darnell's and Aileen's friends?"

Rodney didn't have an answer for him.

**Area 52**

**Employee Overnight Area**

**Room 2B**

**A Few Days Later**

John sat at his desk staring into space. He still felt bad about the death of Darnell and Aileen though he hadn't known them that long. They'd been kind and caring…people. Even now, knowing what they really were, he felt sorrow for their loss, unable to think of them as Replicators.

The village had held a memorial service for the couple who'd been great friends to the small community for the last ten years. He and Evan had attended, expressed their sympathy, but not their guilt. They muttered platitudes, shook hands, hugged a few, and returned to Area 52 to write up their reports.

What John was doing now was trying to compose a very overdue email. Powering up his laptop, he accessed the base's email client. Wanting Angel to know that what he had to say was of great importance to both of them, he chose to use a more formal mode of address than was his habit with her and sent it before he could rethink his decision.

**Atlantis**

Sitting heavily in the chair behind her desk, Jennifer took just a few moments to rest her eyes, elbows on the desk, face in her hands.

Her time of indulgence over with, she reached for her workstation stopping just short of activating it. On her desk was a fruit cup, spoon and a bottle of water, still cold. A note in Carson's nearly illegible handwriting ordered her to eat, drink, shower and sleep. With a smile of thanks to her mentor and friend, she peeled the top off the treat and scooped a spoonful into her mouth. As she chewed she hit the power button on her workstation. While it came up, she finished off her snack and drank most of the water.

The first thing she saw was the flashing icon telling her she had unread emails. On average, more than a hundred a day. With a sigh of resignation, she opened the application then clicked on the priority tab to sort them from highest to lowest. Many of them were labeled super high priority when they were actually low priority, and most of _those_ came from Rodney. With another click she reversed the order. Fourth from the top was one that stood out from the rest.

To: kellerje SGC-Atlantis (dot) gov

From: sheppardjt SGC-GGHMRF (dot) gov

_Jennifer,_

_We have to talk. Please come see me at your earliest convenience._

_Yours,_

_John_

She opened it and scanned the contents, her eyes widening in shock. He'd only sent her a few emails in the time they'd known each other, all addressed to "Angel" and signed simply "John." But not this one. That he'd used her given name told her more than the contents ever could. And then there was the closing. "Yours." What did he mean by that? Was he trying to tell her something without saying it?

Quickly logging off, she hunted down Amanda, gave her a few terse instructions then ran to her room to shower and pack. Within thirty minutes, most of that time trying to convince Caldwell to let her go, she was standing in front of the Stargate while Chuck dialed Earth. As soon as the whoosh settled, she stepped into the wormhole and was whisked back to the planet of her birth.

Startling Walter with her abrupt orders for transport, she disappeared from the SGC and moments later knocked on John's door.

**Area 52**

**Employee Overnight Quarters**

**Room 2B**

Checking the time, John estimated that it had been about six hours since he'd sent the email to Angel, guessing that she should be reading it at this very moment. Sparky jumped into his lap and onto the desk waiting patiently for him to perform his duties. With an impatient sigh, he obediently rubbed her ears then ran his hand repeatedly down her back making it arch.

A knock on the door startled them both and when John opened it, there stood the woman he'd been waiting all his life for. Without so much as a hello, he pulled her inside, swept her into his arms and just held her. After a second, her hands tightened around his shoulders, her face pressed against his neck.

A plaintive meow finally parted them, John drawing Angel over to the desk. "She doesn't like being ignored."

"No woman does," she said with a grin.

Scooping the cat into his arms, he introduced the two women in his life. "Sparky, this is Angel. Angel, Sparky." They seemed to like each other. At least Sparky didn't hiss or growl.

"So, John, you wanted to talk?"

"Yes. Please, sit down." John took the desk chair while Angel perched on the side of the bed. She crossed her ankles and gripped the edges. Still holding the cat, scratching her neck to make her purr, he kept his eyes on hers. "I have a lot to tell you. If you have questions along the way, just ask. I'll make it as short and succinct at possible."

"Okay."

"Afghanistan. I'd been there about six months when I met Field Medic Caitlin O'Connor…"

~~O~~

Jennifer sat on the side of John's bed listening as he told her about his relationship with Caitlin, the chopper crash, Hartley's betrayal, the trial, how his life changed from that one incident then changed again when he got involved in the investigation of the Wraith, the night they chased Magee, the car accident that caused him to have a flashback to the crash, meeting Molly at the dam, and the regret over his and Evan's part in the "deaths" of Darnell and Aileen.

He got up to pace, holding Sparky and rubbing her neck as if that action calmed him somehow.

Next he spoke about his family circumstances. How he'd grown up in the lap of luxury and because of one incident, of which he was ultimately cleared, he'd been disowned by his father. A few stray tears escaped and she swiped them away impatiently, her heart swelling with happiness that he'd finally contacted his brother and they'd made plans to get together.

"…and I'll be heading out to California as soon as we're done here."

Standing, she went to him, stopping just inches away, close enough to hear Sparky purr and close enough to feel the warmth from his body. She gave the cat a few firm strokes then eased her from his arms and set her on the floor. With a twitch of her tail, Sparky jumped up on the desk and went into the window. "You're not leaving just yet."

"Why?"

She put her hands on his arms just above the elbows, sliding them up over his firm biceps to his shoulders, stopping when she reached his neck. Her palms cupped his cheeks, her thumbs brushing lightly over the skin along the edges of his mouth. Leaning in, she kissed him, her lips rubbing over his as his hands came to rest on her waist to bring her up against him. Easing back, she let him see the depth of her feelings. "Because I'm going to make certain you greet your brother with a _big_ smile on your face."

"I, uh, hadn't actually planned on leaving until tomorrow." He said it with his characteristic crooked smirk.

Taking his hands in hers, Jennifer tugged him toward the bed. When her legs touched the side of the mattress, she began pulling his shirt from his pants.

~~O~~

John stilled Angel's movements by taking her hands in his. "Angel…Jennifer. Are you _absolutely_ certain you want to do this? I don't want either of us to have regrets."

Her smile was bright and filled with delight. "John, the one thing I _am_ sure of is that this is the right thing to do and the right time to do it."

He smiled then. A spontaneous and heartfelt expression of delight. Releasing her hands and again bringing her against his chest, he leaned down to capture her lips just before he tumbled them onto the bed. His last coherent thought was that spending this special time with someone you cared deeply for, _that_ was the most daring adventure of all.

~~O~~

Once her charge and his mate went to sleep, Sparky came out of the window, jumped to the floor and sauntered over to the bed winding her way around the scattered pieces of fake fur they wore for protection. She leapt up onto the corner and walked up to where the one called Angel was on her side with him behind her, an arm across her stomach.

Sniffing the air, she realized that his scent was different now. When she'd first found him he'd smelled troubled, the reason she'd been drawn to him. Now he smelled happy and content. Nosing her way under his hand, Sparky lay against Angel's stomach and went to sleep.

**TBC**

**A/N:** For more information on Screeching In, Google it.


	36. Uncharted Territory

**A/N:** This is it, folks. The last chapter of _Not a Hero_. I'm grateful that so many of you found this story entertaining. Please keep a look-out for the sequel coming up sometime in the next few months.

Acknowledgments:

First and foremost, I would like to thank our Lord for bestowing on me the ability to create works that entertain as well as inform and stir the emotions. I can never thank Him enough. It's also His doing that I have a loving family and friends I can rely on. After Miss Kitty passed, my nephews were worried that I was lonely without a cat. I assured them that I am fine by myself.

Coming in next is ladygris. Without her continued support and encouragement I might never have taken on such an epic adventure. When I told her that I'd expected this to only run 20 chapters or so, I know in her mind she was ROFL. But then, that's how this collaboration began. We'll tell you about it one day.

And let's not forget:

Dwparsnip, Shadows-of-Realm, Skye Graham, ElisaD263, Geeksandlies, and Lithane. If I've left anyone out, thorry!

Gracias, Merci, Namaste,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 36**

**Uncharted Territory**

In the morning, John awoke with a weird and wonderful feeling of warmth in the region of his heart and it had everything to do with the woman cuddled against his side. He thought about waking her and picking up where they left off the night before but she looked so peaceful he couldn't do it.

Lifting the hand resting on his chest, he kissed her fingers and eased away from her. Gathering up clean clothes, he went quickly showered and dressed.

Sitting at the desk, he watched Angel sleep for a moment, a smile of wonder lifting the corners of his mouth that this beautiful, intelligent and kind woman had seen something in him that he hadn't known existed until last night.

Sparky seemed to understand the need for quiet as she hadn't once cried for his attention. He'd already fed her and packed her personal items. She didn't know it but she'd be staying with his brother's family while he made a trip. Now all he had to do was compose a note to Angel, grab the bags he'd packed the day before, and take off.

Crouching, he whispered to Sparky, "Now remember, you _have_ to stay in the carrier until we get there and you can't go berserk like last time. Deal?" She must have been in agreement because she didn't fuss when he put her in the carrier.

He knocked on Evan's door and his partner answered yawning and scratching his chest. "Hell you want, Sheppard? I was out late last night with a bunch of Marines celebrating Cooper's promotion to Lieutenant."

"Um…" Did he really want Evan to know that he and Angel spent the night together? Not that it mattered, but he didn't want her to have to worry about gossip. It was time to make the trust between the partners complete. Lowering his voice, he glanced up and down the hall. "Jennifer…"

Evan smiled and nodded. "I'll take care of her."

John had already known that his partner would look out for Angel when he wasn't around, but it was good to hear him say it. "Thanks."

~~O~~

A spot of sunshine crawled across the carpet until it hit the side of the bed then traveled up, finally touching the bare foot sticking out from under the covers. The toes wiggled at the feeling of warmth, pulling away when it got to be too much. The foot's owner sighed and rolled over, coming awake when she realized that the other side of the bed was empty. Holding the sheet to her chest, she glanced around finding herself alone. Not even the cat in evidence.

_He wouldn't have left without saying good-bye. Not after last night._ And that's when Jennifer saw the handwritten note on the desk propped up so she'd find it. Tossing the sheet aside, she padded over to pick it up. Again he'd signed it "yours." Her frown at finding herself alone changed to a silly grin she was certain she'd be wearing for days. _You are most definitely mine, John._

Taking her bag into the bathroom, she showered and changed thinking about the events of last night knowing she hadn't imagined John's softly whispered words just as she fell asleep. _My angel._ This time he wasn't using the name to taunt, annoy or just to see her blush. This time it was…different. He'd never called her _his_ before. Now he'd made her his in every way but one. He still hadn't told her he loved her. She hadn't told him either so that was sort of fair. Wasn't it?

This was uncharted territory, but they would navigate it together, just the three of them. Her, John…and Sparky.

Tucking the note he'd written into her bag, she wrote him one in return, pausing before adding "yours, Angel."

~~O~~

Carrying a tablet in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other, Toby walked through the halls of Area 52 with a bounce to his step. He'd known within days of meeting her that he wanted to be more than just Sheila's colleague. This past weekend he told her and she'd professed the same. They had agreed to take it slow and get to know each other before going to the next step. His ultimate goal was to spend the rest of his life making her happy. However, this morning, he had another goal in mind. Rounding the corner, he nearly ran Jennifer down.

"Oh! Good morning, Mr. Ritter."

"Beg your pardon, Dr. Keller." When she made to step around him, he asked, "Have you seen Agent Sheppard, ma'am?" She blushed confusing him. Why should the man's whereabouts embarrass her?

"Uh, no. He's gone to California to visit his family. Why?"

"Oh, it can wait until he returns then. I just have a few questions about his reassignment request." Her eyes widened in shock confusing him even more as he'd been certain that Sheppard would have discussed something of such importance with her being as they were so close. The smile she'd been sporting was gone as well.

"Of course. He should be back in a few days." Ducking her head, she scurried down the hall and entered the Infirmary.

Toby returned to his office and started going through the files Woolsey had sent him the day before he and Dr. Adams had left on their honeymoon. He'd been tasked with hiring Sheppard's replacement. Their boss didn't know it yet, but they would also need to find a replacement for Agent Lorne. _His_ reassignment request had been in Toby's Inbox when he'd arrived this morning. He reconnected his tablet to the network and settled down to work.

**Huntington Beach, California**

**The Sheppard Home**

Pulling in through the gate, John followed the private road that passed the stables. The landscaping crew could be seen taking care of the grounds and John wondered if Joe and Inez were still around. They'd been middle-aged at the time he'd enlisted and should be retired by now. Though knowing them, they were still taking care of his family home, Joe ruling the outside while Inez handled the housekeeping staff with a will of iron wrapped in a velvet glove.

He stopped behind a white Lexus, dark green Isuzu Trooper and black Mercedes but didn't get out right away. On the way from the car rental agency he'd called ahead to let them know he was coming though he hadn't mentioned Sparky. He picked up the carrier and peered in through the door, her big green eyes looking back at him with curiosity and expectation. Chuckling, he thought he probably had a similar expression on his own face. "Be good while we're here." He took her agreement for granted. "Now let's go meet your uncle, aunt and cousins."

~~O~~

"Dad-dad-dad!" Haley shouted from the living room at the front of the house. "He's here! He's here!" Dave, Annie and Dylan rushed to her side where she was peeking out the window.

A little slower but still as eager, Inez joined them. Hands on her hips, she gave the family a friendly glare. "You gonna let him in or what?"

The kids rushed to the door only to be stopped by the elderly housekeeper. "Get back! Your father hasn't seen his big brother in a dog's age."

"Yes, ma'am," they replied stepping out of the way.

~~O~~

Taking a deep breath and putting on a welcoming smile, Dave opened the door. John stood there, a case in one hand. "John."

"Dave."

John entered, Dave watching his brother scan first the faces of his family then look around at the home he'd grown up in and hadn't seen the inside of since he was twenty-two. The case was set on the floor with exceptional care. After a few false starts, the brothers finally embraced holding tight just a little longer than they would normally have done.

"I'm glad you're here." Dave stepped back from John. "This is my wife Annie and our kids, Dylan and Haley.

John shook hands with Annie and Dylan but Haley threw herself into his arms and hugged him tight. "I'm sorry Grampa was mean to you, Uncle John." She sniffed as a few tears welled up in her eyes. She snatched a tissue from the table alongside the front door and dabbed at the moisture. That's when she saw the case on the floor. "What's _that?_" Dropping down in front of the carrier, she looked at the cat while Sparky just looked back.

"Oh, uh, I hope you don't mind but I brought my, uh, cat."

"Cat?!" Dave and Inez said at the same time.

"Her name's Sparky." He took her out of the cage, cradling her in the crook of his left arm while the right hand rubbed her neck. She purred loudly, not at all upset with the new venue.

Haley extended her hand, letting Sparky smell her. Apparently she was acceptable because the cat arched her whiskers and let the girl touch her head. "Where'd you find her?"

"Actually, _she_ found _me_. Would you like to hold her? She's very friendly." He lifted the cat to look her in the eye. "Behave." Passing Sparky over, he stepped back while Annie, Dylan and Haley fussed over her, telling her she was the most beautiful cat in the world. Sparky agreed and allowed them to heap adoration on her, fussing over her tattered ear and speculating on how it had happened.

John turned at the touch on his arm, Inez having gotten impatient for his attention. Both hands came up to hold his head still, her eyes roaming over his face as if she couldn't believe he was finally home. "Come here, boy, and give me a hug." And he did. She held on so long, John was afraid she wouldn't let go, but eventually she moved away. "We'll be havin' dinner in a bit. I've made your favorite. Chicken and Dumplings."

"I haven't had that in years." Though he tried to keep an impassive expression, Inez saw through it, grinning. "Would dessert by any chance be your pineapple upside down cake?"

Shuffling in the direction of the kitchen, Inez chuckled. "It would indeed, boy."

When she was gone, Dave told him, "She's made it every year on your birthday hoping you'd show up."

The jovial atmosphere melted away. "But I never did."

"No." Dave looked around. "Where's your luggage?"

"In the car. Wasn't sure you'd want me to stay." John took a set of keys from his pocket.

Annie came forward to stand next to her husband, Dave's arm going around her shoulders. "Of course you're staying. You're family. Go get your things and I'll show you to your room."

~~O~~

Dinner had been over for a while and the reunited family eventually went their separate ways. Dylan had plans with friends, Haley took Sparky out in the yard to play, Annie sat in the kitchen with Inez while the housekeeper supervised the cleaning and prepping for the next day's meals and the brothers sequestered themselves in the den to talk.

Dave went to the safe, taking out a file an inch thick. He dropped it on the desk with a resounding slap then settled into the chair next to John who looked at it, thought lines crinkling his forehead.

"What's that?"

"That is _you_. Your life since the day you were arrested and Dad disowned you. Everything you did, everywhere you went."

"You had me _followed_?" He couldn't keep an edge from creeping into his voice.

Shaking his head, Dave laced his hands together. "Not exactly. I knew that eventually Dad would regret what he'd done and want to reconcile. But you seemed to want to stay lost.

"Not long after you joined the Air Force, we were approached by a consortium wanting us to do some heavy-duty top secret R&D. With that contract came…perks such as being able to check up on you through our government connections." He watched his brother trying to gauge his emotions but, as he had when they were kids, he kept his thoughts close to his vest though he did see the acrimony in his eyes. "I know you're probably pissed, feeling betrayed and wondering why I didn't contact you."

Allowing the hostility he now felt show, John said, "Something like that." His words were sharp.

Standing, Dave went to the liquor cabinet in the corner, took down a bottle of scotch and poured them each two fingers. Passing one of them to his brother, the younger man took a swallow of the mellow drink. "Truth is I did. But every one of my letters was returned unopened. After a while I just stopped sending them though I did keep tabs on you." He turned away from the look on John's face. "Then a few months ago you disappeared and I thought you were dead." He faced him again. "Did you know that SI is the premier supplier for Stargate Command?"

"Sorry?"

"Don't play dumb, John. I know you've been working at the Hammond research facility." Now Dave smiled sardonically at John's shock. "How do you think I got your cell number?" He wisely didn't mention that he'd spoken to Lorne. John's animosity had lessened, but that was one speck of deceitfulness that probably wouldn't be forgiven. "I only did what I did because I was worried about you. I kept hoping you'd call, but you didn't. Until a few weeks ago." John didn't respond and Dave could see that his brother would have to process all the new information. And he wasn't done. "Dad regretted _everything_. He felt responsible for all that happened since that day because he didn't believe you were innocent of the charges. After his heart attack, I found a copy of his will. He put you back in years ago. As of today, John, you own thirty percent of Sheppard Industries." Taking out an old fashioned bankbook, he handed it to his brother.

~~O~~

John went to his room-the one that had been his as a teenager-to think about everything he'd just been told. At first, he'd felt angry and betrayed all over again knowing that his brother had watched but didn't contact him. Then he found that he had tried and somehow the letters Dave had sent never reached him.

Going to his bag, he took out running shorts and a T-shirt, changed and headed for the dirt road that started in front of the stables, winding through the property. When he'd taken off after Hartley's death he found that running was a great way to lubricate his brain, allowing it to work out problems and help him come to grips with an overload of information or to work off anger and frustration. Not to mention it was good exercise.

He returned soaked with perspiration and exhausted, almost too tired to take a shower though he did anyway. Sparky was asleep on his pillow and resented being moved at first, until he lay down and provided her with someone to sleep with.

And his last thought before falling asleep wasn't for his father, his brother or any of the shocking elements he'd heard about today. No, his last thought was of the face of an angel, eyes closed in sleep, her blonde hair spread out over the pillow and the sheet pulled up to her chest leaving her shoulders and arms bare. Of course, that vision was helped by the fact that he'd taken a photo of her in that position just before he'd left her in his room.

~~O~~

The enormous ring stood guard over the underground cavern just as it always did, silent unless awakened. Guards stood at the ready to make certain its sleep would remain undisturbed in between periods of activity.

Trying to hide her anxiety, Jennifer climbed the stairs to the Operations area, the ever-present Walter hard at work as always.

"Dr. Keller, something I can do for you?"

She chewed her lower lip nervously. "Yes, Walter. Would you look something up for me? Sort of, um, what do you military types call it?"

"On the QT?"

"Yeah."

With a smile, Walter poised his hands over the computer keyboard. "Of course."

"Special Agent Sheppard has requested reassignment." Walter began typing before she'd finished speaking.

"Atlantis."

Again she tried to hide her emotions. "Pardon?"

"Special Agent Sheppard, I mean _Major_ Sheppard has already passed his fitness quals. After the required training, he'll be transferring to Atlantis."

~~O~~

John waited until the day before he was due to leave to ask a favor of his brother. It was night and they were sitting on the patio beside the pool sipping beer.

"Dave, just how much do you know about the Stargate program?"

He shrugged. "Most of it. Why?"

"Next week I'll be…I've been offered reinstatement in the Air Force with an increase in rank to Major. There are a few weeks of training before I move on to my new assignment."

"And that is…"

Taking a drink of his beer, John glanced at his brother and away. "Can't say."

"I understand." Dave rubbed his hands together. He'd just been reunited with his brother and now they'd be separated again. "And the cat?"

"That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. She was going to stay with my partner but he can't do it. Can she stay here? I'll be able to take her with me when I ship out, but not to the training facility."

"I'm sure Haley would be happy to take care of her." He watched John not looking at him and knew there was more. "Wanna tell me the rest?"

"It's dangerous where I'm going and…"

"You want to make a will."

"That's the second thing. Until a few days ago, Sparky was my most valuable asset. Still is. But now that I have something besides her worth leaving to someone, yeah."

"I'll call my attorney and set up an appointment for tomorrow."

Relieved, John sighed as he got to his feet. A basketball sat at the edge of the grass near the half-court. He bounced it a few times then started tossing free-throws. Just as he was lining up for number ten, Dave snatched the ball from him, dribbled down the court and back to throw it in from offside. From there, it turned into a rambunctious game of one-on-one.

~~O~~

John looked at himself in the mirror, straightening his brand new, crisply ironed Air Force uniform. He smoothed his hair as much as possible and tried to calm his wildly beating heart. Today was his first day of training and though there'd be others in the same situation, his nerves were on edge. If things had gone differently in Afghanistan, he'd be exactly where he was now, but with the additional years of experience under his belt. Years that this training would bridge.

That was only one of his concerns. He'd called Angel to let her know what was going on. She was excited for him and somewhat relieved though he had no idea why. However, he'd been unable to contact Evan. He thought it only fair that his partner be kept informed of a situation that affected him. Likewise, the man hadn't answered the email he'd sent letting him know that he'd taken O'Neill up on his offer.

Exiting his room at the SGC, John joined a group waiting for the elevator. From the corner of his eye he saw a familiar head of dark hair. Moving to his side, he tapped Evan on the shoulder. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

Evan wasn't surprised to see him. "Same thing as you. Reinstatement training."

"So you're…"

"…transferring to Atlantis, yes."

"Why?"

Pretending to misunderstand, Evan asked, "Why reenlisting or why Atlantis?"

"Both."

Twitching one shoulder, Evan's tone made light of the situation. "We've been watching each other's backs for a while now. Seems a shame to stop just when we're gettin' good at it."

Shrugging, John accepted his response. "Works for me."

The elevator dinged and the group piled on, Evan continuing his thought, "Besides, you need someone to keep you out of trouble."

"Me? Wasn't it you…"

Evan's eyes dropped in embarrassment, his voice lowering, "You _promised_ you wouldn't mention that again."

"Did not."

"Did too."

By now, they'd reached the training room and took seats next to each other. Crossing his arms, John whispered out the side of his mouth, "Didn't."

Just as quietly, Evan responded. "Did."

The instructor entered and the men turned their full attention to her.

~~O~~

Entering the Mess Hall, John and Evan were still engaged in the argument that had started at the elevator, both snapping to attention when Sam came up behind them. "At ease, gentlemen. You know, when your applications came across by desk, I had to come down and see for myself. I have one comment." Hands clasped behind her back, she watched them with a look that had caused many a junior officer to want to fidget and they were no exception. "I thought you two despised each other."

The two former civilians exchanged a look then said together, "We _do_."

John continued alone. "But we've gotten into the habit of saving each other's lives…"

Pointing at each other, they again spoke at the same time. "And it's _his_ turn!"

"_My_ turn?" John aimed a look at Evan. "I thought it was _your_ turn." As one the men filed down the food line, John grabbing two glasses of iced tea, placing one on Evan's tray.

Evan took a small salad for himself and handed John a serving of blue Jell-O. "No, I distinctly remember it being _your_ turn. MY turn was when we were in Toronto and that Re'tu tried to…"

"No, that was five weeks ago. Since then, we met up with those Mimetics in…" John snapped his fingers to jog his memory.

"Yakima. That was before…" John handed Evan a roast beef and provolone on rye, taking a turkey and Swiss on whole wheat for himself.

Sam listened as they continued the argument noting that they had gotten to know each other so well, they were able to choose each other's meals. At the dessert station, Evan passed John a piece of chocolate cream pie as he took a slice of pecan for himself. Turning, they saw her watching.

"What?" they said together.

"Uh, nothing. Carry on."

As they walked away, she heard John mutter, "What's up with that?"

Evan shrugged and replied, "No idea. How about over there?"

John shook his head. "Too close to the exit. What about there?"

Shaking her head in wonder, Sam carried her tray to her office where Siler was watching the babies. He nodded indicating that they were still asleep on a big blanket spread on the floor and left, softly closing the door.

**San Francisco**

**The Downing Home**

**Six Weeks Later**

Evan ran a hand through his military short hair, tugged at the hem of his T-shirt to straighten it and rang the bell. The sound of sneakers slapping on the hard wood floor hit him just before the door opened and he was attacked by his nephews, Alex and Travis. In a ritual they'd developed over the years, he hooked an arm around the neck of one then the other, using the free hand to give noogies. The boys protested and shoved him away as they called for their mother. Courtney was gathered into a hug and a kiss was dropped on her cheek.

After the usual pleasantries and while dinner cooked, Evan went to the back yard where he chased and was chased by the boys until told to get washed up.

After dinner, Evan helped Courtney do the cleaning up and the boys played video games. The boys were eventually sent to bed, Evan tucking them in himself while his sister made a pot of decaf.

Now that it was quiet, Evan needed to talk and Courtney was ready to listen…at least at first. He told her as much about his new posting as he could.

"When do you leave?"

He took a sip of the hot brew. "A little over a week. Thought I'd spend the time with you and the boys, if that's okay?"

"Of course. School doesn't start again for a while." She could always tell when something was on his mind. "It's going to be dangerous, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I, uh, have an appointment with an attorney tomorrow and I'd like you to be there." Their eyes met over the rim of her cup as she took a sip. "Just in case something happens…I'm leaving everything to you and the boys. There's more than enough to get them through college if I…"

Courtney stopped him by laying her hand over his and squeezing. "Can we _not_ talk about this now?"

"Court…" She abruptly got up and went to stand at the sink, her hands gripping the edge. Moving over to her, he let his hands rest on her upper arms and a moment later she was hugging him tight.

"I hate you right now." He could hear the tears in her voice muffled against his shoulder.

"I know, and I'm okay with that as long as you still love me."

Giving him a soggy laugh, she pushed out of his arms. "Of course I do, you big dope."

**Area 52**

**Secure Holding Area**

The secured door slid open in front of the Wraith. Though weak from hunger and his extended confinement, he knew the face that he would see. John Sheppard. He'd tried many times to contact him through the mental link they had, the one that allowed him to see into Sheppard's thoughts and emotions. It had only worked once, when the human had come close enough. Since then he'd stayed away.

The longer he went without feeding, the less he was able to project his thoughts. But now, with Sheppard mere inches away, he made contact once again.

"I came to see what you have to say for yourself this time, pal." Sheppard stood in front of him, arms crossed, a challenge in his eyes and in his mind.

"The future is _now_." Grinning, he touched the clear wall of his prison. "You approach your destiny, John Sheppard. Your strength of purpose flows. You will become the savior of the weak and defenseless."

A sound of disbelief came from Sheppard. "I'm _not_ a hero. Just a man who tries to do the right thing."

Laughing, he pressed both hands to the wall, his warm breath again leaving condensation on the surface. "Your dreams and the dreams of those who surround you will be realized when you break away from the limited existence of this world. The territory is uncharted. Spread your wings and _fly_, John Sheppard."

Without changing his expression, Sheppard backed up, turned and strode away, the security door closing behind him.

**Stargate Command**

**One Week Later**

A mixed group of military and civilian milled around the Gate Room. Several of the civilians fussed with equipment that would be transported with them to Atlantis with the next dialout. Some of the military did the same, a few casting suspicious glances at the scientists who in turn ignored them.

Two of the military kept quiet and to themselves anxious to get going. They didn't say anything to each other or anyone else, just glanced around at the organized chaos. Their assignment for the trip through the 'gate was to move the pallet of storage containers and duffle bags, all personal items for the staff rotating to Atlantis. The huge pallet would be emptied and refilled for the return trip just as it always was.

The 'gate was dialed and soon they were headed up the ramp on the first leg of their new journey.

John stepped through into the Gate Room of Atlantis, Evan at his side. Glancing around without making it obvious that he was looking for anyone in particular, he found Angel standing off to the side, a smile of welcome just for him. Next to her stood Teyla and she was watching Evan. Without looking he knew that his partner…friend had seen her as well. "Lorne."

"Yeah?"

"We are the two _luckiest_ men alive."

Evan nodded in agreement, a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth as his eyes met Teyla's. "Yeah."

~~O~~

Being a member of the Alpha offworld team had its perks and Teyla wasn't above taking advantage of them. That is, until she'd discovered that she was no longer able to get into some of the more sensitive information, such as staff personnel files. Huffing, she slammed her fist down on the table drawing stares from the group a few tables away. She backed out of the application and closed everything down.

Ronon approached while she waited for her laptop to power up again and stood at the end of the table. "Busy?"

"Yes. It seems that my access no longer works. I am _trying_ to find out what room Evan will be staying in so I can call on him later."

"Three-nine Kilo. Just a short walk from the balcony that overlooks the west pier. It has a lovely view of the incinerator and the underwater Jumper Bay."

Her eyes widened at the sound of Evan's voice stopping herself from saying his name out loud and the big man just grinned and left them alone. Instead she turned, a warm smile coming to her face as he sat in the chair next to her. Not normally demonstrative in public, she allowed herself a few moments of being not herself. Her small hand gripped his where it lay on the table. He held on, rubbing the backs of her fingers with his thumb.

"I am glad you're here, Evan."

"Me too."

She reclaimed her hand, clasping it together with the other one on the table, turning serious. "I wish to ask your forgiveness. I acted in anger, treated you harshly in the wake of your fight with Kanaan."

He shrugged off her apology as unnecessary. Standing, he waited for her to do the same. "I have to go. Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

Her smile showed her delight. "I would." A quick look over her shoulder told her they were now alone on the patio, the sound of the waves slapping against the supports below not drowning out the blood thundering in her ears. Tip-toeing, she kissed him on the cheek.

"Tonight then." Stopping a few feet away, Evan turned back, a smirk lifting one side of his mouth. "He really _did_ start it, you know."

~~O~~

John had waylaid Jennifer in her office, taking her in him arms, pulling her close and giving her a quick kiss. He wanted the word to get around the base the Chief Medical Officer was spoken for.

With a grin she leaned back far enough to speak. "He sure is active today."

"He?"

She glanced downward then back up, blushing lightly, her eyes not able to meet his. "Yeah. You know, your, um…"

Loosening his hold on her, he chuckled. "_You_ can't _say_ it, can you?"

"I…but…its…why do you care?" Her hands resting on his chest, her blush deepened.

"You're a _doctor_. How can you have problems using the correct terms for the human body?"

"Just because I won't refer to your…business…in appropriate anatomical terms doesn't mean…"

Through the glass wall Amanda could see them talking. She announced herself by knocking, watching as they pulled apart, awkwardly on Jennifer's part. "Sorry to break up this tender reunion but…"

"Then close the door on your way out again, doc." John grinned to let her know he was teasing.

"Can't. We have to complete the physicals on the new arrivals. Caldwell will want them ASAP." Her mouth twisted impishly. "Though it looks like his has already been done. I assume he's in perfect health."

"Amanda!" Now Jennifer's face turned bright red as the door closed on Amanda's chuckle. She stepped away from John taking a step in the direction of the exam area, stopping when John briefly wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"For the record, he's happy to see you."

Ready to get back some of what had been given to her, Jennifer smiled impishly. "Happy? He's jumping for joy."

John released her after whispering in her ear, "Always happens around you." Opening the door, he ushered her out then followed her to the exam area.

**One Month Later**

**Colonel Caldwell's Office**

"Gentlemen…" Steven Caldwell said the word with a hint of irony, "…I've made some changes to the assignments. Sheppard, you'll be taking charge of Charlie team from Irwin, and Lorne, you'll be taking over Delta, replacing McNeese. Both are rotating back to Earth for reassignment." Neither man could help the looks of confusion making Caldwell smile ever so slightly. "I understand the restlessness, the need to be doing something besides teaching self-defense to the scientists, some of whom speak almost no English, as well as the live-fire weapons training of same." Standing, Caldwell came around the desk, planted his feet shoulder width apart and crossed his arms. "I'm hoping that, by separating the two of you, giving you time away from each other, that there'll be fewer…incidences like the ones we've had just the few short weeks you've been here, not to mention those that occurred while you were still civilians."

John and Evan gave each other a quick sheepish glance before responding. "Yes, sir."

"You have a meet with Teldy scheduled for 1500." He saw the acknowledgment in their eyes. Uncrossing his arms, he nodded once. "Dismissed."

~~O~~

Lieutenant Colonel Teldy had ideas and her newest team leaders were more than happy to go along with her recommendations for the make-up of the teams.

John and Evan were pleasantly surprised to find that they and their team members complimented each other quite well…once they got to know one another other. And she made certain that plenty of time was set aside for team-building exercises, workouts, meetings, and so forth to make sure that happened.

At the moment, John and his team were sitting in the Mess Hall going over the results of the most recent round of drills that Caldwell had put them through and working out ways to improve their standing against the other offworld teams. Their musings were interrupted by Chuck's voice coming over the PA.

"_Beta, Charlie and Delta teams to Colonel Teldy's office for mission briefing._"

~~O~~

Sixteen men and women stood around the Gate Room waiting for their superior to give the order that would allow them to leave the city.

Though they tried to give the appearance of impassivity, John and Evan were excited to finally be going on their first offworld mission. Not that the Genii attacking a village that dared to defy them when they tried to turn them into slave labor was a good thing. But at least Atlantis was in a position to help.

The wormhole whooshed, settled and Teldy gave the order, "Move out!"

Just before they crossed the event horizon, John and Evan exchanged nods and smiles, each knowing the other would always have his back.

**The End**

**A/N: **I probably shouldn't mention this but there's an epilogue coming. It's filled with short blurbs on what happens for some of the OC's and canon characters that were in supporting roles. If you have anyone specific you want to hear about, let me know.


	37. Epilogue I

**A/N:** This last bit is a quirk of mine so you won't miss much by not reading it.

Thanks,

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 37**

**Epilogue**

**General Jack O'Neill**

Jack O'Neill retired and married Nancy Gordon, the director of Homeland Security. He was, at that very moment, sitting at the end of his dock with a fishing pole in one hand and a cold beer in the other. And his wife, normally in a similar pose next to him, was in Washington D.C. dealing with a matter of homeland security and thinking about retiring to spend more time with her husband, his son, daughter-in-law and grandson.

**Morticia and Richard Woolsey**

After their child, Hunter Alexander Woolsey, was born, Tish left Area 52 to open a private practice. They stayed involved with the SGC, however, helping with various missions. They spent the next ten years searching for friends who had been officially declared MIA, only to find them shortly before Richard passed away.

Hunter never knew what his parents had done before he was born. Only that he wasn't allowed to know. He became a medical doctor and researcher, joining and eventually heading up Doctors Without Borders.

**Toby and Sheila**

Toby and Sheila married and adopted a bunch of cats and dogs from the local animal shelter. In addition to their own fur-kids, they also fostered cats and dogs that are looking for a forever home through a non-profit organization called Tails of the City. They still live in Las Vegas though both are now retired. Sheila has made a second career from writing science fiction. Toby is her manager.

**Ana and Derek**

Ana and Derek left the SGC within the year, married and opened a private medical practice in Jacksonville, Florida where they still reside with their four children and various pets.

**Dora Michaels and Kevin Marks**

Dora transferred to the Cheyenne Mountain Complex and from there she joined the medical staff of the _Eriksson_, Colonel Kevin Marks, commanding. More than a year later, Earth lost contact with the ship and was presumed KIA with all hands on a top secret mission to the Pegasus galaxy.

**The Waligorskis**

**Verde Point Hotel**

**St. Petersburg, Florida**

After the Goa'uld incident, Clara and Max were approached by Richard Woolsey. For their part in apprehending the Goa'uld, the US government not only repaired the damage to their hotel, it fully renovated the property with state-of-the-art equipment while still retaining that old world charm.

It is one of the most sought after vacation spots in the Tampa Bay area and is steadily booked up for three years in advance. Each year they sponsor a beach party and sand castle building contest headlined by a popular singer or group, the proceeds going to several worthy charities.

Their son, Benny graduated high school, received a dual degree in electrical and mechanical engineering from Stanford then joined the Marines and eventually became the leader of a black ops team operating from a secret location that may or may not be within the US borders. We can't say.

**Jackson Gibbs, Arthur Mayfield and L.J. Gibbs**

Gibbs senior passed away a couple of years after the incident at the hotel. As John and Evan were "out of the country" at the time, Richard Woolsey attended the funeral in their stead.

Jack's good friend, Pastor Arthur Mayfield, lived another five years before being called home.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs became the Director of NCIS that same year. Cynthia quit the very next day.

**Barry Miller**

Barry left the SGC to spend more time with his wife, Rae and their daughter, Hope. They moved to Tacoma, Washington where they opened a charter airline flying charters to Alaska, Canada, and most of the western US, but _not_ to Las Vegas or Reno.

Rae is the head of the local Gambler's Anonymous chapter.

**Lieutenant Roberta "Bobbie" Cooper**

Bobbie started dating the man she danced with at the D.C. conference. They eventually married and had two children. Bobbie is now a Colonel and the leader of SG-1.

**Sam and Rodney**

**The Carter-McKay Home**

**Colorado Springs, Colorado**

**Fourteen Years Later**

Rodney and Sam, now civilian contractors for the SGC, rushed from the lab in back of the house to the living room when a commotion interrupted their work. Knick-knacks, framed photos, lamps, sofa and chair cushions, in short, anything that wasn't tied down swirled through the air as if it were a small-scale remake of the Wizard of Oz. Using their telekinetic abilities, Danny and Livie were making pillows and other such non-lethal items fly at the other trying to break their concentration.

Huffing, Sam said to her husband, "Don't just _stand_ there. Stop them!"

Drawing his graying eyebrows together, he asked tensely, "Why _me?_"

"Rodney! It's _your _fault they have this ability." Sam ducked just as a vase flew through the air and smashed against the wall opposite the living room doorway. It barely missed her making Rodney angrier.

He stood up to his full height, opened his mouth and was promptly hit in the face with a sofa cushion. "Okay, that is IT! DANIEL JACKSON! OLIVIA JEAN! Stop this immediately!" Everything hung in the air just for a moment then quickly returned to their proper places, including the broken vase which had miraculously resumed its former shape.

The kids stared at him with wide eyes, blue like their parents' and their namesakes. He crooked a finger in a come-here gesture. Heads down, they went to stand in front of him. Arms crossed, he looked from one face to the other. "You almost hit your _mother_ with that vase. _What_have you been told about using telekinesis in the house?"

The teenagers looked at each other then at him and he couldn't tell if they were communicating telepathically or not. It hadn't been a power he'd retained from his near-ascension so long ago, but that didn't mean it couldn't have lain dormant in his genes to be passed on to his children or even grandchildren one day.

Most of the time they took turns speaking and Danny always went first. Now was no exception.

Danny: "We can only use it in our rooms…"

Livie: "…and the back yard when it's cloaked. Not…"

Danny: "…in the living room…"

Livie: "…kitchen, bathrooms…"

Danny: "…library, den, labs or…"

Livie: "…front yard."

Satisfied that his children had been properly chastised, Rodney lessened his angry stance. "Now apologize to your mother."

Together they said, "Sorry, mom."

Uncrossing his arms, Rodney allowed himself to relax. It was his turn to make dinner and Sam was setting the table. "And you scared Henry again, the poor cat. Go see if you can get him out from under the sofa _without_using telekinesis."

"Yes, Dad." Again together.

"And get washed up for dinner," Sam's voice echoed from the dining room.

"Yes, Mom."

**Paul and Melissa**

Paul and Melissa were married three months after the D.C. conference where he'd proposed. They still live in Washington D.C. Paul is now the head of Homeworld Security having taken over from the retired Jack O'Neill. They have one child, Paul Junior, and another on the way. Melissa is a stay-at-home mom with a lucrative Internet business.

"**Todd"**

The Wraith held captive at Area 52 escaped shortly after a visit from Director Richard Woolsey. He fed on a patient being brought into the research center, acquired several weapons, which he used to fight his way to the hangar where the seized Wraith Darts were kept. He took one of the ships and fled in an attempt to return to the Pegasus galaxy, but was shot down over the desert in the same location that another Wraith had been killed exactly three years before.

**David Magee**

After his accident, David Magee was sent to a long-term care facility in Newport News. Nearly three years later, a new surgical procedure was developed that would repair his damaged spinal cord. He would again live a normal life and be able to take control of his father's company from his cousin who'd been in charge since the accident and the death of his uncle, Thomas Magee.

The procedure had been developed on Atlantis by Carson Beckett (clone), Amanda Cole and Jennifer Keller.

A few weeks later, CNN reported the death of David A. Magee, son of Thomas R. Magee, the deceased founder of Magee Industries. David had died from complications caused by his near-total paralysis from a single car accident three years before. He is survived by a cousin and his family. There was a small private service then David was interred next to his father and mother in the family crypt.

That's the _official_ story.

However, a rumor began to circulate among the SGC that as Magee was being moved from the ambulance that transported him to Area 52, as he was being taken past the secure area, the captive Wraith escaped and fed on him before he could be stopped.

Either way, the world was now rid of a repulsive example of Earth's dominant race. And everyone who'd known Magee was fine with that.

**Fini**


	38. Epilogue II

**A/N:** Oh Em Gee! I can't believe I forgot to tell Molly's story. Mea Culpa!

~Sandy

**Not a Hero**

**Chapter 38**

**Epilogue II**

**Molly**

Dr. Millicent "Molly" Donovan stepped out of the elevator and headed down the hall to the Gate Room, her steps quick with excitement. Since the day she'd been recruited for this position, her thoughts had centered on seeing the Stargate in person for the first time. Yes, she was expected in the commander's office immediately, but she figured he could wait just a few minutes while she basked in the spirits of the thousands who'd gone where no man or woman had gone before. Well, starting in 1928.

Nodding to the guards, she showed her ID and they let her pass. Once inside, her duffle bag hit the floor as she came to a stop at the end of the ramp staring at the device the Pegasus natives called the Ring of the Ancestors. She was about to step onto the ramp when alarms blared. At first she thought she'd set them off but the PA came to life and she realized that there was incoming travelers, confirmed moments later when the iris came to life, the force field shimmering over the opening.

"Unscheduled offworld activation!"

Looking up at the observation window, she saw a young woman tapping at a device on her wrist. "It's SG-7 coming in hot with injuries."

_Right place, right time_, Molly thought as medical personnel entered the room waiting at the periphery until they knew it was safe. The iris shut down and soon two men and two women in khaki uniforms came through, one of the men carrying a woman in both arms while the other woman and man seemed to be holding each other up. Bolts of energy coming through the wormhole made the occupants of the room duck instinctively and SG-7 threw themselves down out of the line of fire, their weapons clattering on the metal of the ramp.

Moaning came from all four team members as Molly led the way to offer assistance as the 'gate shut down.

Turning the unconscious woman onto her back, she found she'd been hit in the right shoulder with what looked like one of the energy bolts that had singed the walls and floors of the Gate Room. Carefully pulling the fabric of her uniform from the wound, the smell of burnt flesh reached her nose as she made a quick assessment. "She needs surgery. Get the OR prepped now!" This last was aimed at the young woman behind the glass above them. She obeyed automatically, responding to the authority in Molly's voice while the rest of the medical team also hurried to complete her orders.

The woman was lifted onto a gurney and the VS monitor attached to her upper chest just below the clavicle. The EKG leads were stuck onto her temples, the indicators on all three blinking to let them know they were communicating with the main computer in the Infirmary.

"Doctor!" One of the nurses called Molly's attention to blood on the woman's side. A pair of scissors appeared in her vision and she used them to cut away the material of the uniform shirt and T-shirt underneath, but found the skin untouched.

"There's no injury so where did the blood come from?" The answer came to her as she said the words. "Go! Get her ready for surgery."

The other woman and man who'd come through together still held onto each other. They'd been checked out but their injuries weren't serious so they were permitted to walk to the Infirmary under the direction of medics who took them with a firm hand and steered them in the right direction.

Molly, another doctor and a nurse turned toward the leader of SG-7, a tall, well-built African-American man about ten years her senior. He'd been walking bent over, a hand held to his side, until he noticed them watching him. Then he straightened his right arm close to his side.

She glanced at his rank insignia. "I need to examine you, Colonel."

"I'm fine. Just take care of my team."

Flipping her long braid of bright red hair out of the way, she pulled on a fresh pair of gloves. "I intend to. And since you're part of this team, you'll be taken care of too." She gave him a stare that meant business.

Deciding that giving in was preferable to acting like a child, Isaiah Cooke lifted his arm. The right side of his uniform was bloody from just under his armpit to his waist. "Grazed by a, well, doc, you aren't going to believe it but it looked just like one of those phaser things from that old Sci-Fi vid, _Star Trek_."

"I believe you, Colonel. Now get on the gurney. You're gonna need a bit of stitching up too."

"But…"

"Don't make me use my doctor voice, soldier."

Isaiah sighed, the sound ending on a moan when the injured area pulled with the expanding of his chest. "Fine. But I warn you, I'm a terrible patient."

"From what I've heard, that's SOP in this operation, but I think you'll find that I always get my way. Now go!"

~~O~~

The office overlooking the Gate Room looked pretty much like any other office except for the holographic golfing range, the guitar on a stand in the corner and the Johnny Cash poster on the wall. The man sitting in the chair, feet propped on the corner of the desk, was dressed all in black himself. Such were the privileges of being The Man. Though, like many before him, now that he was The Man, he had no reason to push the boundaries of authority because he only answered to one person, the leader of Homeworld Security who in turn answered only to the President and the OAB.

At the moment, he had a cap with the logo of Stanford University over his face and was snoring softly into the quiet of the room, until the alarms sounded startling him. He almost tipped over backward, just barely managing not to fall. His feet hit the floor, the cap falling into his lap. It was tossed on the credenza behind the desk as he went to the window overlooking the Gate Room.

Below he could see the medical team swarming around Cooke and his team, a woman with red hair in charge. His first thought was that she had to be the new CMO. His next thought was that he'd seen that color of hair before and for some reason it brought a momentary feeling of sentimentality to him along with a wistful smile.

Because she was supposed to come to him-he _was_ The Man after all-he went back to his desk and decided to put a dent in the paperwork that had piled up during the past couple of weeks before Sergeant Davis gave him another of her looks.

Paperwork was a misnomer as they seldom used actual paper anymore. It was all done digitally now, and he often wished for the days when he could hold stacks of documents and folders in his hands. And, if necessary, he could pretend that he lost the documents that someone desperately needed though he knew if they thought about the situation a while longer they'd change their mind.

Several hours later he realized that his new CMO still hadn't made an appearance so, to hammer the point home about who was in charge, he decided it was time to call on her. It made no difference that she was a civilian. The boss was the boss.

Pushing out of his chair with a grunt, he checked his look in the mirror. Even in his mid-sixties and mostly gray with some white and a few black, his hair still stuck up randomly all over his head. People who hadn't seen him since high school still recognized him because of the hair. With a grin, he straightened the front of his uniform and headed out.

The technician in charge of the control room, Senior Master Sergeant Aurora Davis, jumped to attention as he hit the bottom step. Her skin was a few shades darker than a walnut, her short black hair managing to look professional and chic at the same time. When she looked at him instead of over his shoulder, her dark brown eyes disconcerted him and he wasn't sure why.

"What have I told you about that, Davis?"

She relaxed and gave him a sheepish smile. "Sorry, General. Some habits are hard to break."

"Well, keep trying. Have you seen the new CMO?"

"Yes, sir. She's in the Infirmary."

The lopsided grin told her he wasn't really upset. "Guess I should go down and pay my respects. If my wife calls, ask her what we're having for dinner then call me."

Now Davis was grinning. "Yes, sir."

"Oh, and it's okay to…paraphrase what she says."

"Of course, General."

~~O~~

The doors to the operating theater opened and a woman in surgical scrubs emerged stripping off her gloves and gown. Before she could remove the mask and cap, General Sheppard strode up to her, blocking her way.

"Dr. Donovan, I presume."

"Yes. And you are…?" 

"Oh, no one important. I just run things around here and as such, I expected you in my office a couple of hours ago."

Molly sighed, not bothering to hide her annoyance. "Yeah, well Lieutenant Finch and Colonel Cooke needed me here. And the needs of my patients trumps whatever it is _you_ want any day of the year."

"Fair enough."

She watched his eyes roam over what he could see of her face as if he were trying to figure out where he'd seen her before. He looked familiar to her too. When he grinned, it came to her and suddenly it was twenty-five years ago and she was once again standing on a dam in Nevada, the hot wind in her face as she looked up at one of the tallest adults she'd ever seen. She was seven at the time and most adults had been tall to her. He just seemed taller than any she'd seen before.

~~O~~

The woman in front of him, whose insubordination was more than SOP for a doctor, civilian _or_ military, seemed familiar somehow. Bright blue eyes held his as they engaged in a silent battle of wills. She pulled off her mask as she turned away from him and entered the glass walled office. He followed her, leaning on the doorjamb with his arms crossed as she picked up something shiny from the desk and put it on. What could be so important that it couldn't wait until she'd showered and filled out her report? Then she turned around, a gold pendant now hanging around her neck, a Celtic cross he remembered from long ago. She removed her cap, taking with it all doubt as to her identity when he saw her red hair in a bun on top of her head.

"Molly?" He recognized her at the same time because they spoke at the same time.

"John? You might not remember me, but…"

He looked her up and down. Not in a weird stalkerish way, but as someone who was trying to match the present with a long ago memory. "You grew up!"

~~O~~

Molly laughed. "It's been twenty-five years, John. Kids have a tendency to do that." Before he could avoid it she hugged him surprising her when he returned it. If her memory of that day was accurate, he hadn't seemed like the kind of man to engage in gestures of affection in public. Yet here he was doing exactly that. A lot had changed in that time.

"When I was told that General John Sheppard specifically requested me as the new head of medicine for the SGC, I had no idea that he and Special Agent John Sheppard were one and the same."

"And _I_ didn't know that Dr. Millicent Donovan, formerly the head of Doctors Without Borders, was the Molly from the dam."

"Yeah. That's me."

The sat on the sofa. "How's your mom?"

Her expression turned sad. "Mom died almost two years later giving birth to my brother, Ian. He's in the Marines and posted with the SGC."

"Sorry to hear that about your mom." John's features crinkled in thought. "I don't remember an Ian Donovan on the roster."

"That's because my mother married a man named Owen Flanagan and they had Ian. I kept the Donovan name to honor my father who was killed in a construction accident when I was five."

"Lieutenant Flanagan is in Andromeda on the Stargate salvage program. Turned down a position to Hoag's Object."

Molly chuckled. "Yeah. Wanted to stay close to home."

John nodded understanding. It was the same reason he'd taken the position at the SGC. Jennifer had retired from practicing medicine and now taught at John's Hopkins. Their children and grandchildren were scattered across Earth, Pegasus and other offworld places, but they wanted to be here. "How did you get involved with Doctors Without Borders?"

A rueful smile came easily to her pretty face. "One day, I was visiting the Hoover Dam with my mother and grandparents when I met someone. He seemed sad so I started talking to him." Her fingers touched the Celtic cross. "He gave me this pendant and said something that changed my life from that day forward."

"Oh?"

"Mm-hmm."

"And that was…?"

"He told me, well, basically, that life was an adventure and I should go out and experience it. There was also some inanity about being the change you wished to see in the world. But from that day on, I knew I wanted to be a doctor, to leave my mark. And though I had hoped to see him again one day, I never did…until today." She took his hand where it lay on this thigh and gave it a squeeze. The pressure was returned. "Thank you for those words, John. Without you, I might never have seen some of the wonders that this world has to offer. And I definitely wouldn't be here now."

Uncomfortable with the praise, he cleared his throat. "I'm, uh, glad I could help." John pushed to his feet with a grunt. "But don't think you can slack off just because you're friends with the boss."

She stood and gave him a mock salute. "Yes, sir."

With a grin, he left the Infirmary and returned to his office. On the way, he pulled out his computer and sent a message to his long-time friend General Evan Lorne, now the commander of the Stargate relocation project in Andromeda, to let him know to keep an eye on Lieutenant Flanagan.

**Fini**

**A/N:** Yes, Aurora Davis is adopted and the youngest daughter of Paul and Melissa Davis.


End file.
